Ladies and gentlemen, I wish I had better news for you but we are facing a storm that most of us have feared. This is a threat that we've never faced before.
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Feel The Girl
[Intro Timbaland (Ms. Jaded)]
Ladies and gentlemen
Ladies and gentlemen
(Ms. Jade) Lay lay lay ladies and gentlemen
(Ms. Jade) Ladies and gentlemen
(Ms. Jade) Ladies and gentlemen
(Ms. Jade) Lay ladies and gentlemen
(Ms. Jade) Skrip skirt skrip lay lay
(Ms. Jade) La la la lay
Earr err err
[Verse 1 Ms. Jade]
Ms. Jade's the name comin' to ruin the game
Bringin' the thunder and rain
song performed by by Ms. Jade from Girl Interrupted
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Come Get Me
And as a special treat this evening
I have asked America's foremost young poet
to read his latest poem for us
[scratching by DJ Premier:]
"ladies and gentlemen.."
"Na-Na-Na-Nastradamus"
"Everybody watch him"
"ladies and gentlemen.."
"Na-Na-Na-Nastradamus"
"We-we-we came a long way"
"ladies and gentlemen.."
"Na-Na-Na-Nastradamus"
"Everybody watch him"
"ladies and gentlemen.."
"Na-Na-Na-Nastradamus"
[Nas]
Yo..
Yo.. yo..
Power and crime
song performed by by NAS from Nastradamus
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sonnet 23
Be aware gentlemen I dare say
For all those sugar coated lies
Ladies will have it their way
No matter what they can be sly
Be aware all gentlemen kind
The secrets are not in her kiss
Such confusion you will find
You'll never be sure of this
Be aware gentlemen or regret
Those gentle words and woes
Never once show her neglect
For such pain you will know
Be aware gentlemen and wise
Ladies come with many surprise
poem by Suelynn Walters
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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We are facing a storm that most of us have long feared.
We are a bunch of hooligans and anarchists but we do clean up nice. … Look around, ladies and gentlemen, because we all have stories to tell and projects we need financed. Don't talk to us about it at the parties tonight. Invite us into your office in a couple days, or you can come to ours, whatever suits you best, and we'll tell you all about them. I have two words to leave with you tonight, ladies and gentlemen: "inclusion rider".
quote by Frances McDormand
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Ladies and Gentlemen
Ladies and gentlemen,
Welcome to the queen city of Babylon
And the seven hills of ancient Rome.
Welcome to that great city, that mighty city!
For in one hour is thy judgment come.
Welcome to the geographical center of evil
Of the Earth, nay the universe.
Welcome to everyone's home town
No matter where he's from.
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Cincinnati!
poem by Bob Evenson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Hero
Outside, confidence is king
I am all that you're projecting
Inside feel the rising tide
And the revolution's deafening
I was trying to hide my opposing side
Trying to reconcile my Jeckyl and Hyde
Ladies and gentlemen listen up please
I don't want to be your hero
(No, I am not open parts of me are broken)
Do yourself a favor
Save yourself
Don't pick me find someone else
(Why'd you want to bother find yourself another)
Sometimes you put all of your desires in an object of affection
But in time because you idolise there is only disappointment
I was flying so high in your perfect sky
But I needed to fall cannot have it all
Ladies and gentlemen listen up please
I don't want to be your hero
(No, I am not open parts of me are broken)
Do yourself a favor
Save yourself
Don't pick me find someone else
(Why'd you want to bother find yourself another)
Ladies and gentlemen listen up please
I don't want to be your hero
(No, I am not open parts of me are broken)
Do yourself a favor
Save yourself
Don't pick me for someone else
(Why'd you want to bother find yourself another)
Don't need to compromise
I don't need to occupy the floor
There's a danger in boxing in my sin
And all that I am..
It's too much pressure
I'll only let you down again
(No, I am not open parts of me are broken)
It's too much pressure
I'll only let you down again
(Why'd you want to bother find yourself another)
Ladies and gentlemen listen up please
I don't want to be your hero
(No, I am not open parts of me are broken)
It's too much pressure
I'll only let you down again
(No, I am not open parts of me are broken)
Ladies and gentlemen listen up please
I don't want to be your hero
(No, I am not open parts of me are broken)
song performed by by Darren Hayes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Nightflight To Venus
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard the starship boney m
For our first passenger flight to venus.
Ready for count-down: 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1 - ignition - lift off
Nightflight to venus
Way out there in space
Nightflight to venus
Our new favrite place
Nightflight to venus
All systems are go
Nightflight to venus
The sky is aglow
Ladies and gentlemen, weve had a successful
Take-off on this first nightflight to venus.
Our flying time will be 8 hours. well be travelling
At a speed of 2183 miles per second.
Nightflight to venus
Nightflight to venus
Captain - unidentified object at 8 oclock - 2 million miles away.
Stand by for emergency manoeuvre.
Object coming closer at the speed of light. we have 8 more seconds.
Change course by 4 point 6 degrees.
Order admitteted.
Ladies and gentlemen, in a few minutes we are going
To be landing on venus, push the button on your left side,
The safety mechanism will do the rest for you.
We hope you enjoyed the worlds first nightflight to venus,
Have a good time there.
song performed by by Boney M.
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Gentlemen of Dickens
The gentlemen of Dickens
Were mostly very poor,
And innocent of grammar,
And of parentage obscure;
But rich or poor or thriving,
Of high or lowly birth,
The gentlemen of Dickens
Were the grandest on the earth.
The gentlemen of Dickens,
They wore no fancy names—
Like Reginald or Percy
Fitzgerald or FitzJames;
But names for fools to laugh at,
That sound like hob-nailed boots,
Like Newman Noggs and Knubbles,
Toodles and Mr Toots.
They’d little save their kindness,
Their honesty and truth;
They mostly came embarrassed,
And stammering and uncouth;
But the gentlemen of Dickens,
Their women and their girls,
Could speak their minds if need be
To ladies and to earls.
But one who wore a title
A lesson, too, could teach:
Lord Feenix—Cousin Feenix
Of wandering legs and speech.
O he might teach a lesson
A gentleman could give,
Where he stands by his “lovely
And accomplished relative”.
The gentlemen of Dickens
Were gamblers now and then
(And looked upon the ladies,
No doubt, like other men);
And some of them were drunkards,
It cannot be denied;
But one washed all their sins away
When Sidney Carton died.
The gentlemen of Dickens
Are round us here to-day,
For their self-sacrificing
Brave spirits live for aye.
They cheer my heart and lift it,
They set my blood aglow,
For I was once a gentleman,
Though it was years ago.
poem by Henry Lawson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Goodnight
Good night now ladies and gentlemen
Good night now ladies and gents.
That's the end of the show, now it's time to go.
Good night now ladies and gentlemen
Good night now ladies and gents.
That's the end of the show, now it's time to go.
Would you like to do a number with me?
Would you like to do a number with me?
Would you like to, would you like to,
Would you like to do a number with me?
(repeat 1x)
Cheap trick says goodnight!
song performed by by Cheap Trick
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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0034 Poem with which to start a Poetry Reading
Ladies and Gentlemen,
this is my first poetry reading
and I’m very nervous
and nearly cancelled tonight
but I spoke about this to
a friend who’s a therapist
and he said,
this is what you do,
you imagine the audience
in front of you
all in their underwear
(as you probably are; but
without the outer layer)
with the men
wearing the most idiotic
flowered Hawaiian
two sizes too large
boxer shorts
and the ladies
in the frumpiest
underwear
you can imagine
apparently it works
so if I look at you, ladies and gentlemen,
somewhat strangely
from time to time
or giggle uncontrollably
or my eyes rest on you personally
as if we’re sharing some huge
x-ray joke,
please forgive me
and understand
that’s it for your benefit
as well as mine
and that you will have put your outerwear
back on
in the interval
before the next poem
I hope this is OK with you
and nobody’s too embarrassed
in fact you could do the same trick
with me if it’s
any help
and now
I think I’ve said enough as
I’m OK now
how about you?
(For maximum effect, pause noticeably at the end of each line)
(with thanks to Ernestine for the idea)
poem by Michael Shepherd
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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At The Port Of Kolambugan
the news is that
another storm is coming
and our boat is still on this port
that we fear
for once there was terror here
a bomb exploded
planted by this unknown terrorist
and many died
the boat was burned
and many bodies still burning
jumped and drowned in the sea
most of them
children and women
i am sensing the colder wind
from the sea
the touch of the
coming storm
i can sense its strength
while i wait
for the decision whether
to go sailing or not
so we can reach the
other island facing us
with a warm welcome
i look for a sign
and see this pigeon
hovering above
my head
as though saying
warning
do not,
i have all the reasons
to listen
we sleep here for the night
we shall let this storm pass
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Critic Intro
Every once in a while a band comes along that changes the course of human history, and that band is they might be giants.
Tom poston, the new york times.
Like so many things I cant understand, they left my teeth chattering for more.
Peggy cass, aquarian weekly
Maestro! I say right on!
Orson bean, sky and telescope
If you hear only one song this year, theres something terribly wrong with you.
Kitty carlyle, easy riders
Ladies and gentlemen, do not be alarmed. please remain perfectly still. what you are about to see is real. the performers are not grinning scarecrows sent here to torture and manipulate you.
Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to introduce the twin quasars of rock. please give a warm, friendly hand to they might be giants!
song performed by by They Might Be Giants
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ladies Pay
All the sailors theyre all home from leave
And everybodys waiting for them to try to deceive
The storekeepers have drawn their lace curtains bare
And all the women and the wee young girls all waiting there
Oh, but how the ladies pay
Oh, if they only knew how the ladies pay
Yeah now, how the ladies pay
Oh, when the men theyve gone away
Nobody is standing on upon the door
And nobody is feeding any of the poor
The poor sick soldier lies in bed beside his girl
Thinking of another place on the other side of the world
Ah
How the ladies pay
Oh-oh, oh, how the ladies pay
When the men theyve gone away
Oh, I wish I knew how the ladies pay
Day and night, night and day
How the ladies pay
Day and night, night and day
How the ladies pay
Day and night
Night and day
Day and night
Day and night, night and day, ladies pay now
Night and day, day and night
How the ladies pay
Day and night, night and day
How the ladies pay
Day and night now
Night and day and now
How the pay now
Oh, how the pay now
Ladies pay, ladies pay
Ah, ladies pay the way now
Ladies pay, ah, ladies pay
Ah, ladies pay
Night and day, night and day, night and day
Oh, how the ladies pay
Oh, night and day, night and day, night and day
Oh, how the ladies pay
song performed by by Lou Reed
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Presence Of The Night
ladies,
i did not invent these nights
my eyes are not their switches
i cannot turn it off and on
even if i close and open
these weary eyelids.
ladies
on nights like these
when twilight cut us short
of the weird things that we
tickle upon our bodies
i never drove those nights away
these nights have their own lives
they carry their own capes of darkness
their own pleasurable surprises
they know how to kill and save
they know how to give us
either ecstasy or pain
but they never force themselves upon us
we are simply made to choose
we must therefore think wisely
and so ladies,
why do you curse the darkness?
why do you blame the night?
why do you cry unnecessarily?
what a waste of moments
ladies,
come with us,
we are your merry gentlemen.
the nights have been made for all of us
and nobody must take them all away from us
nobody because now
we have the right to own them.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Sugar Shack (Skit)
Woo, yeah yeah [laughs]
This beautiful, beautiful evening
We are inside the wonderful, the wonderful Sugar Shack
Here in beautiful Jackson, Mississippi
I am your host for the evening, the one the only...
Oh, I see you shorty, what's up? How you doin', baby? Woo
We gon' do it real, real nice, for you ladies and gentlemen tonight
I've got a fine treat for you tonight, for you fiften people in here tonight
Settle down, settle down
What I got for you tonight, ladies and gentlemen
Here at the Sugar Shack, is the one, the only, the beautiful, the talented,
Miss Ashanti
song performed by by Ashanti
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Misfire
Neither here nor there
I do not care who you are.
To know you I gone here and there
The negotiation made between us is not ours.
Talk process is in progress
Wait and see.
You are in the sea facing tide
You are on the land facing storm
You are in the sky missing somewhere.
You are neither here not there
I am wandering and in worry
While you are busy in misfire.
poem by Gajanan Mishra
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Goodnight Ladies
Goodnight ladies, ladies goodnight
Its time to say goodbye
Let me tell you now
Goodnight ladies, ladies goodnight
Its time to say goodbye
Now all night long youve been drinking your tequilla
But now youve sucked your lemon peel dry
So why not get high
Goodnight ladies, ladies goodnight
Goodnight ladies, ladies goodnight
Its time to say goodbye
Goodnight sweet ladies, ladies goodnight
Its time to say goodbye bye bye
Oh weve been together for the longest time
But now its time to get high
Come on lets get high
And goodnight ladies, ladies goodnight
Oh, Im still missing my other half
Ah, it must be something I did in the past
Dont it just make you want to laugh
Its a lonely saturday night
Oh, nobody calls me on the telephone
I put another record on my stereo
But Im still singin a song of you
Its a lonely saturday night
Now if I was an actor or a dancer who is glamorous
Then you know an amorus life would soon be mine
But now the tinsil lighted starbreak is all thats left
To play my heartbreak
At eleven oclock I watch the network news
Oh, wow, wow, something tells me that youre nearly gone
You said we could be friends but thats not what I want
Ah, anyway my tv dinners almost done
Its a lonely saturday night
I mean to tell you its a lonely saturday night
One more round
song performed by by Lou Reed
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It Takes the 'Taint' Out of Tantillizing
What makes a nonstory worthy of news?
When those involved admit it.
Without benefit of apology.
At least one that does not please.
And a scandal wished,
Diminishes with bite.
Leaving a desire to rip one to shreds,
Completely pointless.
Especially if one anticipates it.
And this removes the excitement!
'Come on, David.
Let us be the ones to embarrass you.
What fun is in it if you seem to enjoy,
All of this unnessarry nonsense...
With a provocativeness that really isn't news.
About who you had sex with and their consentment?
It takes the 'taint' out of tantillizing!
Why did 'you' announce your degradations...
To leave us appearing as fools?
Comeon, David.
We had hopes to embarrass you! '
~And Ladies and Gentlemen...
I must confess this:
The one reporting my trangressions,
Had not been invited.
And as democracy would have it,
A vote was taken.
I assure you my sexual activities,
Had the best of intentions to benefit all.
That one 'man' was disgruntled,
Leaves me rather pleased.
No one else found my activities,
That envious enough to heat up such 'meatless' controversy.~
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Hello There
Hello there, ladies and gentlemen.
Hello there, ladies and gents, are you ready to rock?
Are you ready or not?
Hello there, ladies and gentlemen.
Hello there ladies and gents, are you ready to rock?
Are you ready or not?
Would you like to do a number with me?
Would you like to do a number with me?
Would you like to?
Would you like to?
Would like to do a number with me?
Hello there, ladies and gentlemen.
Hello there, ladies and gents, are you ready to rock?
Are you ready or not?
Hello there, ladies and gentlemen.
Hello there ladies and gents, are you ready to rock?
Are you ready or not?
Would you like to do a number with me?
Would you like to do a number with me?
Would you like to?
Would you like to?
Would like to do a number with me?
song performed by by Cheap Trick
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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