Critic Intro
Every once in a while a band comes along that changes the course of human history, and that band is they might be giants.
Tom poston, the new york times.
Like so many things I cant understand, they left my teeth chattering for more.
Peggy cass, aquarian weekly
Maestro! I say right on!
Orson bean, sky and telescope
If you hear only one song this year, theres something terribly wrong with you.
Kitty carlyle, easy riders
Ladies and gentlemen, do not be alarmed. please remain perfectly still. what you are about to see is real. the performers are not grinning scarecrows sent here to torture and manipulate you.
Ladies and gentlemen, it is my pleasure to introduce the twin quasars of rock. please give a warm, friendly hand to they might be giants!
song performed by by They Might Be Giants
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
Mario Speaks
Okay, okay, settle down everyone. okay, please, please.
Alright, its showtime everyone. listen, Ive got a story to tell.
When I first accepted the job as personal manager and stylist for they might be giants, the boys said:
Mario, integrity is everything! you keep the money. well live on love--the love we have for sophisticated head-bobbing music!
But I told them, you guys are gonna have to change everything! flansburgh, you need new clothes. that fringe jacket and platform shoes thing is completeley out! and linnell, shave the beard and get yourself a hair transplant. maybe an accordion would be good. I dont know.
Boy, were those guys mad at me. but its all water under the bridge, now. Ill tell ya, my boys have crossed over with a look and sound all my own. I guess you could say I made them, but I prefer to think I simply own them.
Ladies and gentlemen, my boys, the only band that refuses to be a force to be reckoned with, those twin quasars of rock, lets give a warm round of applause for they might be giants!
song performed by by They Might Be Giants
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Kitten Intro
Theres something coming. theres a new car on the horizon. its coming very slowly. it makes a noise. it has kittens painted all over it. with a new kind of fur. cleaner, but with a unique smel
T, one of these kittens is not prepared to have a good time. it stands alone. away from the crowd. its your kind of kitten. now the time has come to climb into that car and to shake the paw of
Ny.
No... no... they might be giants are not satanists. they are not posing as an easy-listening nazi rock band trying to lure intellectuals into believing what they already know to be true. no. lis
O the sound of my voice. put away your big blue cigars. and make way... yes, make way, ladies and gentlemen... for they might be giants!
song performed by by They Might Be Giants
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Feel The Girl
[Intro Timbaland (Ms. Jaded)]
Ladies and gentlemen
Ladies and gentlemen
(Ms. Jade) Lay lay lay ladies and gentlemen
(Ms. Jade) Ladies and gentlemen
(Ms. Jade) Ladies and gentlemen
(Ms. Jade) Lay ladies and gentlemen
(Ms. Jade) Skrip skirt skrip lay lay
(Ms. Jade) La la la lay
Earr err err
[Verse 1 Ms. Jade]
Ms. Jade's the name comin' to ruin the game
Bringin' the thunder and rain
song performed by by Ms. Jade from Girl Interrupted
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Come Get Me
And as a special treat this evening
I have asked America's foremost young poet
to read his latest poem for us
[scratching by DJ Premier:]
"ladies and gentlemen.."
"Na-Na-Na-Nastradamus"
"Everybody watch him"
"ladies and gentlemen.."
"Na-Na-Na-Nastradamus"
"We-we-we came a long way"
"ladies and gentlemen.."
"Na-Na-Na-Nastradamus"
"Everybody watch him"
"ladies and gentlemen.."
"Na-Na-Na-Nastradamus"
[Nas]
Yo..
Yo.. yo..
Power and crime
song performed by by NAS from Nastradamus
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
They Might Be Giants
Hang on
Hang on tight
They might be giants (boy)
They might be giants
They might be rain
They might be heat
They might be frying up a stalk of wheat
They might be giants (boy)
They might be giants
They might be brain
They might be washed
They might be dr. spocks back-up band
To make the merry-go-round go faster
So that everyone needs to hang on tighter
Just to keep from being thrown to the wolves
Tabloid footprints in your hair
Tabloid footprints everywhere
We cant be silent
cause they might be giants
And what are we going to do unless they are
They might be giants (boy)
They might be giants
They might be bald
They might be snow
They might be something else in the snow
Hang on tight
They might be giants (boy)
They might be giants
They might be fake
They might be lies
They might be big, big, fake, fake lies
Tabloid footprints in your hair
Tabloid footprints everywhere
We cant be silent
cause they might be giants
And what are we going to do unless they are
They might be giants (boy)
They might be giants (boy)
They might be giants (boy)
They might be giants (boy)
They might be giants (boy)
They might be giants (boy)
They might be giants (boy)
They might be giants (boy)
They might be giants (boy)
They might be giants (boy)
They might be giants (boy)
They might be giants (boy)
They might be giants (boy)
They might be giants (boy)
They might be giants (boy)
They might be giants (boy)
song performed by by They Might Be Giants
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Sonnet 23
Be aware gentlemen I dare say
For all those sugar coated lies
Ladies will have it their way
No matter what they can be sly
Be aware all gentlemen kind
The secrets are not in her kiss
Such confusion you will find
You'll never be sure of this
Be aware gentlemen or regret
Those gentle words and woes
Never once show her neglect
For such pain you will know
Be aware gentlemen and wise
Ladies come with many surprise
poem by Suelynn Walters
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Attica State
-"it is my pleasure and privilige at this very solumn moment to introduce a young man and his wife.
Who saw fit to put down in music and lyrics so that it will never be forgotten in our country, by anyone, the tragedy of attica state.
There's no more that i can say, ladies and gentlemen. i would like to introduce you to john and yoko lennon."
-"i'd just like to say, it's an honour and a pleasure to be here at the apollo and for the reasons we're all here.
This song, yoko and i wrote, is called 'attica state'"
One, two, three, four!
What a waste of human power,
What a waste of human lives.
Shoot the pris'ners in the towers,
Forty-three poor widowed wives.
Attica state, attica state,
We're all mates with attica state.
Media blames it on the pris'ners,
But the pris'ners did not kill.
"rockefeller pulled the trigger,"
That is what the people feel.
Attica state, attica state,
We're all mates with attica state.
Free the pris'ners, jail the judges,
Free all pris'ners ev'rywhere.
All they need is truth and justice,
All the want is love and care.
Attica state, attica state,
We're all mates with attica state.
They all live in suffocation,
Let's not watch them die in sorrow.
Now's the time for revolution,
Give them all a chance to grow.
Attica state, attica state,
We're all mates with attica state.
Come together, join the movement,
Take a stand for human rights.
Fear and hatred clouds our judgement,
Free us all from endless night.
Attica state, attica state,
We're all mates with attica state.
Attica state, attica state,
We all live in attica state.
Attica state, attica state,
Attica, attica, attica state.
-"thank you, aah, thank you, thank you, aah,. some of you, eh, wonder what i'm doinh here with no drummers and no nothin' like that.
Well, you might know i lost my me old band, or i left it. i'm puttin' a, i'm puttin' an elecric band together, it's not ready yet.
Ah, things like this keep comin' up so, i just have to busk it. so i'm gonna sing you a song now you might know
It's called 'imagine'
song performed by by Yoko Ono
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Attica State
-"it is my pleasure and privilige at this very solumn moment to introduce a young man and his wife.
Who saw fit to put down in music and lyrics so that it will never be forgotten in our country, by anyone, the tragedy of attica state.
There's no more that i can say, ladies and gentlemen. i would like to introduce you to john and yoko lennon."
-"i'd just like to say, it's an honour and a pleasure to be here at the apollo and for the reasons we're all here.
This song, yoko and i wrote, is called 'attica state'"
One, two, three, four!
What a waste of human power,
What a waste of human lives.
Shoot the pris'ners in the towers,
Forty-three poor widowed wives.
Attica state, attica state,
We're all mates with attica state.
Media blames it on the pris'ners,
But the pris'ners did not kill.
"rockefeller pulled the trigger,"
That is what the people feel.
Attica state, attica state,
We're all mates with attica state.
Free the pris'ners, jail the judges,
Free all pris'ners ev'rywhere.
All they need is truth and justice,
All the want is love and care.
Attica state, attica state,
We're all mates with attica state.
They all live in suffocation,
Let's not watch them die in sorrow.
Now's the time for revolution,
Give them all a chance to grow.
Attica state, attica state,
We're all mates with attica state.
Come together, join the movement,
Take a stand for human rights.
Fear and hatred clouds our judgement,
Free us all from endless night.
Attica state, attica state,
We're all mates with attica state.
Attica state, attica state,
We all live in attica state.
Attica state, attica state,
Attica, attica, attica state.
-"thank you, aah, thank you, thank you, aah,. some of you, eh, wonder what i'm doinh here with no drummers and no nothin' like that.
Well, you might know i lost my me old band, or i left it. i'm puttin' a, i'm puttin' an elecric band together, it's not ready yet.
Ah, things like this keep comin' up so, i just have to busk it. so i'm gonna sing you a song now you might know
It's called 'imagine'
song performed by by Yoko Ono
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Ladys Aid Society
In every little town and village too
Somewhere in the neighborhood
Youll find a little band of ladies who
Cant stop doing good
Good for the pigeons in the park
Good for the weekly tea
Good for the national bank where they keep their treasury
Were the ladies aid society
And were really a great bunch of girls
Were the ladies aid society
And soon well take over the world
Here they come marching down the street
Witgh their picket signs in hand
With their blue and white pleated uniforms
And their all girl five-piece band
Down with long haired singing groups
Down with the mayor too
And if you;re under 65 theyre down on you
Were the ladies aid society
And we just want to sell you the truth
Were the ladies aid society
And its time we clamp down on the youth
Were the ladies aid society
And were really a great bunch of girls
Were the ladies aid soicety
And soon well take over the world
Were the ladies aid society
And we just want to sell you the truth
Were the ladies aid society
And its time we clamp down on the youth
song performed by by Monkees
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
All The Lovely Ladies
All the lovely ladies in their finery tonight
I wish that I could know them one by one
All the handsome gentlemen with loving on their minds
Strolling in to take the ladies home
Bless you all and keep you on the road to tenderness
Heaven can be yours just for now.
All the gentle strangers who by nature do not smile
To everyone who cannot hold a pen
To all you heavy rounders with a headache for your pains
Who dread the thought of going round the bend
Bless you all and keep you on the road to better things
Heaven can be yours just for now.
To all the lovely ladies in their finery tonight
I wish that I could kiss you while you knit
To all the ones who learn to live with bein second-guessed
Whose job it is to give more then to get
Bless you all and keep you with the strength to understand
Heaven can be yours just for now.
To all the little dreamers with a dream that cannot last
To all the sleeping giants who must wake
To every man who answers to the letter of the law
And all the rest imprisoned by mistake
Bless you all and keep you with the faith to let it pass
Heaven can be yours just for now
To all the lonely sailors who have trouble beeing seen
To all of you with heartache that remains
Maybe sometime later you might swim back into shore
If someone could relieve you of your chains
Bless you all and keep you all on the land or on the sea
Heaven can be yours, just for now
song performed by by Gordon Lightfoot
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
We are a bunch of hooligans and anarchists but we do clean up nice. … Look around, ladies and gentlemen, because we all have stories to tell and projects we need financed. Don't talk to us about it at the parties tonight. Invite us into your office in a couple days, or you can come to ours, whatever suits you best, and we'll tell you all about them. I have two words to leave with you tonight, ladies and gentlemen: "inclusion rider".
quote by Frances McDormand
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
Vote! | Copy!
(Excerpt From) The Jaycees Speech
When I was a child, ladies and gentlemen, I was a dreamer.
I read comic books, and I was the hero of the comic book. I saw movies, and I
was the hero in the movie.So every dream I ever dreamed has come true a hundred
times. These gentlemen over there, these are the type who care, are dedicated.
You realize if its not possible that they might be building the kingdom,
its not far-fetched from reality. Id like to say that I learned
very early in life that:
'Without a song the day would never end
Without a song a man aint got a friend
Without a song the road would never bend
Without a song...'
So I keep singing a song.
Good night.
Thank you.
song performed by by Elvis Presley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Ladies and Gentlemen
Ladies and gentlemen,
Welcome to the queen city of Babylon
And the seven hills of ancient Rome.
Welcome to that great city, that mighty city!
For in one hour is thy judgment come.
Welcome to the geographical center of evil
Of the Earth, nay the universe.
Welcome to everyone's home town
No matter where he's from.
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to Cincinnati!
poem by Bob Evenson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Coke & Tears
Spoken: 'Ok settle down you all, settle down lady, he's gonna be on stage real soon,
that's right Mama put your popcorn down, he's turning to the band, yeah he's running his
legs off, ladies and gentlemen Mr Robbie Williams'
Just because your dyslexic
Doesn't mean your not fake
We know you're not that stupid
You'll marry someone rich
Bet you won't steal his watch
When your down by near his crotch
That'll explain the itch
You were such a lying bitch
I know you hold my suitcase
Down in Kensington
And you were screwing Ewen
When I wasn't in.
Did it to me, you'll do it to him
Your friends just gave me grief
I will make this brief
You were such a lousy thief
You were such a lousy thief
But you were good in bed
You were good in bed
So good in bed
Now you tell my girlfriend
That I'll never change
You've been up since Wednesday
Don't you find that strange
You're ex-boyfriend is deranged
You'll tell them down in Browns
Haven't been for years
It's full of coke & tears
Full of coke & tears
Full of coke & tears
But you were good in bed
Good in bed
Spoken:'Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to thank you on behalf of Mr Robbie Williams
and the band, you've been a fantastic audience. Robbie's opened his heart out to you
tonight and you've really taken him on board. Remember the name and whenever he's in the
neighbourhood, you get yourselves down there alright. It's been a great evening, thank you
very much. Robbie Williams has now left the buidling....................Oh no, I'm afriad
he's come back for his coke - now he's left the buidling - thank you very much - thank you
very much.'
Glory Glory Hallelujah Glory Glory Hallelujah Glory Glory Hallelujah Glory Glory
Hallelujah...
song performed by by Robbie Williams
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Hero
Outside, confidence is king
I am all that you're projecting
Inside feel the rising tide
And the revolution's deafening
I was trying to hide my opposing side
Trying to reconcile my Jeckyl and Hyde
Ladies and gentlemen listen up please
I don't want to be your hero
(No, I am not open parts of me are broken)
Do yourself a favor
Save yourself
Don't pick me find someone else
(Why'd you want to bother find yourself another)
Sometimes you put all of your desires in an object of affection
But in time because you idolise there is only disappointment
I was flying so high in your perfect sky
But I needed to fall cannot have it all
Ladies and gentlemen listen up please
I don't want to be your hero
(No, I am not open parts of me are broken)
Do yourself a favor
Save yourself
Don't pick me find someone else
(Why'd you want to bother find yourself another)
Ladies and gentlemen listen up please
I don't want to be your hero
(No, I am not open parts of me are broken)
Do yourself a favor
Save yourself
Don't pick me for someone else
(Why'd you want to bother find yourself another)
Don't need to compromise
I don't need to occupy the floor
There's a danger in boxing in my sin
And all that I am..
It's too much pressure
I'll only let you down again
(No, I am not open parts of me are broken)
It's too much pressure
I'll only let you down again
(Why'd you want to bother find yourself another)
Ladies and gentlemen listen up please
I don't want to be your hero
(No, I am not open parts of me are broken)
It's too much pressure
I'll only let you down again
(No, I am not open parts of me are broken)
Ladies and gentlemen listen up please
I don't want to be your hero
(No, I am not open parts of me are broken)
song performed by by Darren Hayes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Were An American Band
On the road for forty days,
Last night in little rock put me in a haze.
Sweet, sweet connie -- doin her act,
She had the whole show and thats a natural fact.
Up all night with freddy king,
I got to tell you pokers his thing.
A-booze n ladies keep me right,
As long as we can make it to the show tonight.
Chorus
Were an american band.
Were an american band.
Were coming to your town, well help you party it down.
Were an american band.
Four young chaquitas in omaha,
Was waitin for the band to return from the show.
Feelin good, feelin right, its saturday night,
The hotel detective -- he was out-a-sight.
Now, these fine ladies, they had a plan,
They was out to meet the boys in the band.
They said, come on, dudes, lets get it on,
And we proceeded to tear that hotel down.
Chorus
Chorus
Chorus
Chorus
Were an american band, ooo-ooo.
Were an american band, ooo-ooo.
Were an american band, ooo-ooo.
song performed by by Grand Funk Railroad
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
I am in crazy in love with Girls
It amazing how life is transformed sometimes
I don’t know whether it because of the changing of the season
But let me tell something interesting
When I was young I could pay no interest that there are people who are beautiful
As soon as I grew up I had people talking to me
They say what a beautiful child am I.
But today I am old
As long as I could see I could see that there people who are beautiful
Next to me I sit along a beautiful girl both left and right
Even the room where we are is beautiful
That is the way why I offer a smile to each and everyone for the first time
I can see the reason why I lick my finger no more
It because such nice people give a warm welcome baby
Yes they can say what ever wrong to me but I think I must forgive them
It because they are beautiful –ladies
Beautiful ladies
It because they are beautiful –ladies
Beautiful ladies
It because they are beautiful –ladies
Beautiful ladies
It because they are beautiful –ladies
Beautiful ladies
Wooo hhooh woo huhu hugh
poem by Mthokozisi Ntokozo Maphumulo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Nightflight To Venus
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard the starship boney m
For our first passenger flight to venus.
Ready for count-down: 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1 - ignition - lift off
Nightflight to venus
Way out there in space
Nightflight to venus
Our new favrite place
Nightflight to venus
All systems are go
Nightflight to venus
The sky is aglow
Ladies and gentlemen, weve had a successful
Take-off on this first nightflight to venus.
Our flying time will be 8 hours. well be travelling
At a speed of 2183 miles per second.
Nightflight to venus
Nightflight to venus
Captain - unidentified object at 8 oclock - 2 million miles away.
Stand by for emergency manoeuvre.
Object coming closer at the speed of light. we have 8 more seconds.
Change course by 4 point 6 degrees.
Order admitteted.
Ladies and gentlemen, in a few minutes we are going
To be landing on venus, push the button on your left side,
The safety mechanism will do the rest for you.
We hope you enjoyed the worlds first nightflight to venus,
Have a good time there.
song performed by by Boney M.
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
0034 Poem with which to start a Poetry Reading
Ladies and Gentlemen,
this is my first poetry reading
and I’m very nervous
and nearly cancelled tonight
but I spoke about this to
a friend who’s a therapist
and he said,
this is what you do,
you imagine the audience
in front of you
all in their underwear
(as you probably are; but
without the outer layer)
with the men
wearing the most idiotic
flowered Hawaiian
two sizes too large
boxer shorts
and the ladies
in the frumpiest
underwear
you can imagine
apparently it works
so if I look at you, ladies and gentlemen,
somewhat strangely
from time to time
or giggle uncontrollably
or my eyes rest on you personally
as if we’re sharing some huge
x-ray joke,
please forgive me
and understand
that’s it for your benefit
as well as mine
and that you will have put your outerwear
back on
in the interval
before the next poem
I hope this is OK with you
and nobody’s too embarrassed
in fact you could do the same trick
with me if it’s
any help
and now
I think I’ve said enough as
I’m OK now
how about you?
(For maximum effect, pause noticeably at the end of each line)
(with thanks to Ernestine for the idea)
poem by Michael Shepherd
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Hard Times In New York Town
Come you ladies and you gentlemen, a-listen to my song.
Sing it to you right, but you might think its wrong.
Just a little glimpse of a story Ill tell
Bout an east coast city that you all know well.
Its hard times in the city,
Livin down in new york town.
Old new york city is a friendly old town,
From washington heights to harlem on down.
Theres a-mighty many people all millin all around,
Theyll kick you when youre up and knock you when youre down.
Its hard times in the city,
Livin down in new york town.
Its a mighty long ways from the golden gate
To rockefeller plaza n the empire state.
Mister rockefeller sets up as high as a bird,
Old mister empire never says a word.
Its hard times from the country,
Livin down in new york town.
Well, its up in the mornin tryin to fins a job of work.
Stand in one place till your feet begin to hurt.
If you go a lot o money you can make yourself merry,
If you only got a nickel, its the staten island ferry.
And its hard times in the city,
Livin down in new york town.
Mister hudson come a-sailin down the stream
And old mister minuet paid for his dream.
Bought your city on a one-way track,
f I had my way Id sell it right back.
And its hard times in the city,
Livin down in new york town.
Ill take all the smog in cal-i-for-ne-ay,
n every bit of dust in the oklahoma plains,
n the dirt in the caves of the rocky mountain mines.
Its all much cleaner than the new york kind.
And its hard times in the city,
Livin down in new york town.
So all you newsy people, spread the news around,
You cn listen to m story, listen to m song.
You cn step on my name, you cn try n get me beat,
When I leave new york, Ill be standin on my feet.
And its hard times in the city,
Livin down in new york town.
song performed by by Bob Dylan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!