Middle age occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.
quote by Franklin P. Adams
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Years ago we discovered the exact point, the dead center of middle age. It occurs when you are too young to take up golf and too old to rush up to the net.
quote by Franklin Pierce Adams
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Golf Tees Lament
Golf tees on my dresser
Golf tees in my bed
Golf tees on my pillows
Where they poke me in my head
Golf tees in my closet
Falling from my shirts and pants
Golf tees along the baseboards
Just like army ants
Golf tees in the carpet
And underneath my feet
Golf tees lined up on the mantle
Oh, they look so neat
Golf tees in my couch
And in my back and thighs
When I sit and watch TV
I feel those little guys
Golf tees in the kitchen
In Jurassic coffee mugs
Sometimes when I pass them
They look like prehistoric bugs.
Golf tees in the bathtub
Like sailors on plastic ships
Golf tee in her make-up
Like little bald q-tips.
Golf tees in the attic
Golf tees in the shed
Golf tees, golf tees everywhere
I wonder where they bred?
Golf tees out the backdoor
Like Hansel-and-Gretel’s trails
Golf tees in the flowerbeds
Among the mulch and snails
Golf tees in my car
And underneath the mats
Golf tees in the backseat
Like little baseball bats
But when I am at the golf course
I ask my partner, like a louse…
“May I borrow some of your tees? ”
I left mine at the house!
poem by Larry Buddin
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The majority of people who buy homes in golf course communities don't play golf. Golf is way down at the bottom in terms of total numbers and growth.
quote by Ed McMahon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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061011B feathered parade
rush of air from the beach
is most wanted heat relief
oh! i open my car windows
to clear my lungs upon gasp
i slowed down to almost stop
something happening in front
geese with goose-lings on march
they own the road like monarch
two geese stop letting young ones
cross first; that really amaze me
took longer; they're taking pictures
i already have one from golf course
poem by Manonton Dalan
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For A Round Of Golf
For leisure the game that so many do play
For a round of golf 'tis a beautiful day
By the wide slow flowing river that crawls to the sea
Men and women practice their strokes before their evening tea.
As a boy I believed hobby golfers had easy jobs
And that those who enjoyed golf were well to do snobs
But such antiquated thinking not relevant today
As all kinds of classes the game of golf play.
A beautiful day for a beautiful game
For most hobby golfers with no aspirations to fame
After work they go to the golf course in the evening sun
And play the eighteen holes for the sake of fun.
Of the praises of golf everybody doesn't sing
But for the participants a game without physical contact can be such a fun thing
In the golf course by the river that to the sea crawl
The crack of the iron on the stone hard golf ball.
poem by Francis Duggan
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Grow Young
Sitting here on the waters edge
Now that the storm is gone
First time in years it feels like
Nothings wrong
Thereve been a lot of changes
I was so lost for a while
Sitting here I remember
How its easy to smile
Oh let me grow young
Like a brand new day
Like Ive just begun
Like a shiver like a rush
Like a soul I might touch
Let me grow young
Nobody to tell me where to go
Nobody to call
Just me and the kiskedees
And my guitar
Oh let me grow young
Like a brand new day
Like Ive just begun
Like a shiver like a rush
Like a soul I might touch
Let me grow young
Gotta try to remember this feeling
Gotta store it up inside
Bring it out when its cold in the city
And Im worried and tired
Oh let me grow young
Like a brand new day
Like Ive just begun
Like a shiver like a rush
Like a soul I might touch
Let me grow young
song performed by by Heather Nova
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Jerusalem Syndrome is actually a rare psychological condition that occurs to some visitors to the Middle East. They get to Israel and just snap.
quote by Marc Maron
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All I claimed was that when a drastic change occurs, it occurs in a relatively small and isolated population.
quote by Ernst Mayr
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Tiger Woods
He is many times over a multi millionaire
And arguably the World's greatest ever golf player
The golfer most young golfers would love to emulate
The legendary sports star and a golfing great
'Tis true Tiger Woods is the golfer to beat
In every golf tournament in which he compete
For many years now the World's number one
So many golf majors the great champ has won
The golfer who has proved himself in every test
That's why by so many he is rated as the best
Professional golfer in the World of today
By millions beyond the borders of the U S of A
The World's number one golfer for many years now
Though to the father of time he eventually must bow.
poem by Francis Duggan
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My Sport-in Life
Golf, baseball and girls, scantily clad
Obsessions of mine when just a young lad
Not listed here in order of rank
Baseball came first, to be perfectly frank
Sports took a back seat as time flew on by
To girls, clad or not, to this more mature guy
Baseball and golf, great in their place
They can’t be compared to a females embrace
Now that I’m aged and much more mature
Girls, clad or not, are somewhat obscure
Golf, baseball and girls, scantily clad
Obsessions of mine, I’m glad to have had
poem by Stanley Cooper
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Hang Down Your Head Kelly Tilghman
This time tomorrow
Reckon where I'll be
Down in some lonesome valley
Hangin' from a white oak tree (The Kingston Trio)
Kelly thought she was being cute,
Kelly thought she had made a funny,
Golf Central would not fire her,
As she is a woman,
Not being Rush, Imus, Jimmy the Greek Snyder,
They were men.
She is of course blonde, so is Caitlin Upton,
Maybe that explains the fact,
Golf Central would not fire her.
She stated that the only way the upcoming golfer would defeat Tiger Woods,
If they would beat him up, like Tonya Harding did to Nancy Kerrigan,
Further more they should 'lynch Tiger Woods in a back alley.'
If the KKK would have been paying her I would understand,
But if, not she could have been playing bedroom course,
She could have been playing on the course where there is easy “lay” on the turf,
She was a caddy to Arnold Palmer,
She could have kissed his balls while he ventured out the first ho’,
That would make his putter stand up.
Golf Central still would not fire her.
(1-13-2008)
poem by Joe Rosochacki
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There are two barriers that often prevent communication between the young and their elders. The first is middle-aged forgetfulness of the fact that they themselves are no longer young. The second is youthful ignorance of the fact that the middle aged are still alive.
quote by Jessamyn West
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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When you are young and healthy, it never occurs to you that in a single second your whole life could change.
quote by Annette Funicello
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Golf, like measles, should be caught young.
quote by P.G. Wodehouse
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I was out on the golf course, a guy came riding out in a golf cart and said, Did you know that Elvis died? And I just said, Well, there you go. It was like I had kinda been expecting it.
A kid grows up a lot faster on the golf course. Golf teaches you how to behave.
quote by Jack Nicklaus
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I don't like going to the mall. I'm not really like the other girls. I just like to go out on the golf course and play. Golf is fun and feels really good.
quote by Michelle Wie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I just picked up golf, it was good, give me a chance to play golf.
quote by Abdullah Ahmad Badawi
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A lot of my buddies also played golf, but when it came to going to the beach or on the boat and chasing girls, they usually went that way and I went to the golf course.
I Get A Rush
Every day of my life has been leading me here tonight
Feels like I'm coming home back to you, back to you
Every chance that I take
Every wrong turn and every mistake
Is a step on the road back to you
And I'm alive
Chorus:
I like it, I like it, I can't get enough
I like it, I like it, yeah, I get a rush
I like what I like and I like it too much
You know what I like, yeah, I get a rush
And my goal, I see you, you're as close as the hole in my shoe
And when I'm feeling used, I'm renewed, I get high
I can fly, I've got wings
I've got riches that money can't bring
I've got more than a king, I've got you
And baby, that's alright
Chorus:
I like it, I like it, I can't get enough
I like it, I like it, yeah, I get a rush
I like what I like and I like it too much
You know what I like, yeah, I get a rush
From you, everything you do
I call it love
Yeah, I get a rush, I get a rush
Every day of my life has been leading me here tonight
And wherever I roam I'm heading back home to you
Back to you
Chorus:
I like it, I like it, I can't get enough
I like it, I like it, yeah, I get a rush
I like what I like and I like it too much
You know what I like, yeah, I get a rush
I like it, I like it, I can't get enough
I like it, I like it, yeah, I get a rush
I like what I like and I like it too much
You know what I like, yeah, I get a rush
From you, everything you do
I call it love
Yeah, I get a rush, I get a rush from you
song performed by by Bon Jovi
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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