God often gives nuts to toothless people.
quote by Matt Groening
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
You Must Be Nuts? You've Got To Be!
You 'must' be nuts?
You've got to be!
You are telling me,
I can not have...
What has been given,
To my brothers and sisters...
Whether or not they had asked for it?
And this has been done,
IN my presence to disregard my loyalty?
You must be nuts?
You've got to be!
Not only am I going to have what I want...
But I am also going to remind you,
Once I get it...
Just what I think of your acts,
Of attempting to prevent me...
From not having the kind of life,
To do as I please!
You must be nuts?
You've got to be!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Clinton administration launched an attack on people in Texas because those people were religious nuts with guns. Hell, this country was founded by religious nuts with guns. Who does Bill Clinton think stepped ashore on Plymouth Rock?
quote by P.J. O'Rourke
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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We Just Go Nuts At Christmastime
Up the driveway, down the walk
Oh, janets hair is like her moms
Whos got her own, but acts like somethings
Different from the eyebrows up
Seems like only yesterday
Our d-i-v-o-r-c-e
I love you both and yuletide is pure
H-e-double-l for me
And we just go nuts at christmastime
Thats when everything falls apart
We just go nuts at christmastime
But its another year before were together again
Hi, this is john of they might be giants
As youre driving down the highway at 100 miles an hour with your head wagging out the window,
We urge you, please, put down the phone
We just go nuts at christmastime
Thats when everything falls apart
We just go nuts at christmastime
But its another year before were together
Again
song performed by by They Might Be Giants
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I think Elaine would go out with anyone if they showed interest in her. She's nuts. The woman's nuts.
quote by Julia Louis Dreyfus
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Bad Break
The preacher quoted, and the cranks
Among his congregation smiled,
"How sharper than a serpent's thanks
It is to have a toothless child."
He saw he erred, his eye grew wild,
He frowned upon the mirthful ranks:
"How toothless than a serpent's child
It is to have a sharper's thanks!"
poem by William Thomas Goodge
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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So Small Is One Pea
So small is one pea,
When it is in a soup with nuts.
To distinguish it as being insignificant,
Would depend on who valued the adding of it...
Had something to do with the enhancement of the flavor.
And without the addition of just that one pea,
Would the attention given to the nuts...
Be then diminished?
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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They Live In Division
People of ignorance take no time to learn,
But rush to judgement to incite a fighting done...
Dawn after dawn and after many midnights.
They live in division.
People.
People of ignorance initiate hate.
With a wasting of time to find themselves,
Replaced.
By the acts of Mother Nature.
And the reality of this no one claims is faked.
Then people in this condition expect overnight,
Their self-centered appetites...
To be restored as they would like.
Even when the winds have broken tree limbs.
They live in division.
Even when God wants division to end,
They live in division.
People...
To even ignore every message sent,
They live in division.
People...
Stuck in ruts like nuts cracked up,
They live in division.
People...
Even when the winds have broken tree limbs.
They live in division.
People of ignorance initiate hate.
With a wasting of time to find themselves,
Replaced.
By the acts of Mother Nature.
And the reality of this no one claims is faked.
But...
Even when the winds have broken tree limbs.
They live in division.
People...
To even ignore every message sent,
They live in division.
People...
Stuck in ruts like nuts cracked up,
They live in division.
People...
Stuck in ruts like nuts cracked up,
They live in division.
People...
They live in division.
People...
They live in division.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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If your company has a clean-desk policy, the company is nuts and you're nuts to stay there.
quote by Tom Peters
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Because a lot of straight people think I'm nuts.
quote by Pia Zadora
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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In most conventional novels, God is not allowed to be nuts. Nor are nuts allowed to be God.
quote by John Sladek
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Am I Nuts Test
Before taking The Am I Nuts Test,
Do your best to be objective and prepared...
To declare 'yourself',
As crazy as a bed bug!
Why declare this?
It will be easier to take the test,
With the acknowledgement...
There had been someone who picked on a bed bug,
To proclaim and announce it crazy.
Okay?
Now you should feel open to accept,
All possibilities.
First...
Have you ever discovered yourself quick to deny,
Anything?
Think about this and be honest.
Second...
Are you afraid to be critiqued?
For any physical flaws and blemishes you keep?
Third...
Do you seek to mask your insecurities?
With a pointing out those of others...
As you desperately try to secretly hide,
Those of your own that are hidden deep?
Fourth...
Do you get up each morning,
With wishes to find someone to impress.
Without first expressing a thankfulness for your blessings?
Do you find a need to rehearse this first?
Fifth...
Are you envious and jealous,
Of those addressing with confidence their identities?
Does this irritate you to no end?
And you are convinced,
They actually are trying to run away...
From their strange and differentness.
Do you feel people like this pretend?
And you remain one of the few...
Who advocate a 'normalcy' wishing others to approve?
Well...
You 'are' nuts!
And there is no need to have the results discussed.
If you believe others are out of their minds,
With a few like you being 'normal'.
And no evidence around you to validate and find.
You 'are' nuts and out of your mind.
No one today is normal.
'What makes you qualified to administer a test like this? '
Long ago I was confirmed as being dysfunctional.
And I resisted this refusing to admit it.
But today those dysfunctional,
Seem to be the ones left who have common sense.
'So...
You too are nuts? '
No.
My preference is to stay,
As dysfunctional for as long as I can.
I find to admit it makes me more marketable.
To discover someone is nuts,
Puts a limit to their opportunities.
And...
To debate with someone about the mentalities of bed bugs,
Is way out of my league.
I enjoy my life lived as simple as possible.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Crazy people don't sit around wondering if they're nuts.
quote by Jake Gyllenhaal
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Crazy people don't sit around wondering if they're nuts.
quote by Jake Gyllenhaal
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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I'd rather have a hundred thousand or a million people saying I'm nuts and I'm crazy for my musical choices and what I've said lyrically, than a million people all raising their hand on the first day.
Squirrel
Here I am, I’m the squirrel!
I store nuts in a hole,
Before it gets too cold.
I scurry from tree to tree,
Collecting all the nuts that be.
I put them in holes near and far,
So that I forget where many are!
Look up at me and I’ll give you some cheek,
Then run up a branch without a creak.
Some probably think I am a nut,
Burying like I have no head, but;
God made me,
And that is just who I will be.
See me here, see me there,
I’m everywhere!
I’m the squirrel!
poem by Joses Tirtabudi
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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If you give people nuts, you'll get shells thrown at you.
Out Of Chicken Nuggets
I could not make this up,
But...
I saw a woman going nuts,
Because her favorite restaurant...
Ran out of chicken nuggets.
She went ballistic when she learned this.
And was televised throwing a fit.
She broke the glass at a drive up window.
And punched the clerk because of it.
Some folks just can not handle stress.
And many aren't accustomed,
To being told 'no' and not yes!
And some today are clearly needing mental rest.
Yet...
There ARE some things people should not address.
And this is an example,
Of what one should not have done...
So publicly to get off her chest!
I could not make this up,
But...
I saw a woman going nuts,
Because her favorite restaurant...
Ran out of chicken nuggets.
'They ran out of nuggets!
And she found a reason to lose her mind! '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Remebering The Never Again
bring me in
let me in
I'll promise to defend for everything that's been given
your driving me nuts
your spilling my blood and guts
hello my friend
the demon have come to me
they made whispers louder then thunder
they told me i better not make another blunder
or my fun would be over
bring me in
let me in
I'll promise to promise to defend for everything was given
your driving me nuts
your spilling my blood and guts
hello again
I'm going to try to mend somethings
over and over again
i kneel down
just to feel something so real
a kiss goodnight
and the rooms goes dark
i shut the door
never to venture back anymore
bring me in
let me in
I'll promise to defend everything that was given
your driving me nuts
your spilling my blood and guts
hello for the last time
i guess things have changed
and that's fine
i really don't mind
kind as you are
your still to far
your picture i have captured in a jar
forever embedded in my jagged memories
bring me in
let me in
ill promise to defend everything that was given
your driving me nuts
your spilling my blood guts
but its finally over
over oh over
poem by Ace Of Black Hearts
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Tired of Nuts
If by birth I was a squirrel
With dreams someday I'd speak.
I would not spend time
Jumping from tree to tree
Or staring at birds searching worms
Pecked from the ground and pulled with beaks.
I'd gather all my nuts to munch,
And practice vowels from a branch...
'A-E-I-O-U' I'd do,
Adopting fresh skills to enhance!
And I would do this out loud, of course...
To keep stunned squirrels aware,
I had heights I wanted to achieve
And sights other than nuts to bite...
Before the season dropped their leaves from trees!
And visions of speeches,
To prepare and teach...
More squirrels I knew who grew tired of nuts,
Too close without a challenge to reach.
And 'that' I would suspect from a hunch!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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