Basically, I'm for anything that gets you through the night - be it prayer, tranquilizers or a bottle of Jack Daniels.
quote by Frank Sinatra
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
All he cares about is going out there with his Jack Daniels bottle. Nothing has changed. That's kind of sad. If David was doing better than he used to be, then that would be different. But it was a joke and he made it that way.
quote by Sammy Hagar
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Just a tad snookered?
I Mighta Been a tad snookered
I remember you dimly
Through the fog of Jack Daniels
have vague memories of whipped cream
And naked cocker spaniels
I gave you my number
But didn’t get yours
Jack Daniels just makes me dumber
But it does open up my pores
We met at “Ozzie’s Big House of Burlap”
Our meeting I think, was brief
If you can, please call me asap
Cause I surely am in need of my teeth
This might sound kinda stupid
And you just might could be right
But I think I left my dentures
In your Silverado last night
poem by David Whalen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Packing Her Jack Daniels
She taught high school.
With the eagerness of a beaver.
Breath sweeten with peppermint.
With a quick wisp of her preferred beverage.
Scenting the air like mouth wash.
She would teach to her students,
Those required subjects and about life.
How to keep it real...
With a tad of spice.
The students liked her!
And she was quite nice.
But behind her desk...
In a small container.
She would keep her Jack Daniels,
Packed in ice.
Packing her Jack Daniels...
She disguised in a bottle,
Labelled 'Tonic For a Quick Lift'.
Everyone saw it.
And no one thought anything of it.
She did this for more than ten years!
And no one suspected a thing.
She was always cheerful and inebriated.
And sometimes she would stray in her lectures...
Bringing the kids to laugh to tears.
With 'Tonic For a Quick Lift' grasped tightly in her hand...
She would take a 'swig' now and then,
Do a little gargle...
Before she sat.
Daring not to stand.
And after school she would cruise,
Down her favorite avenue.
With a small nip bottle of 'Jack' close by.
As she would spy on her students.
Or so she told the police.
Who would constantly stop her...
For suspicions of DUI.
'Ma'am...
Have you been drinking? '
~Of course not!
What makes you think I've been drinking?
I am a respectable 'educator and motivator'.~
'Well...
I've watched you for more than fifteen minutes.
And you've been driving in circles on the track field,
On school property.'
~I'm preparing my next lecture.
Entitled, 'Keep On the Right Track'.~
'Ma'am...
I'm gonna have to ask you to step out of the vehicle.'
~But I only have my slip on! '
'I know!
Remember me from last week?
That's when I stopped you...
And you were then preparing your speech,
On Extracurricular Activities.
And I was off duty then! '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Tranquilizers work only if you follow the advice on the bottle - keep away from children.
quote by Phyllis Diller
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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She's Got The Jack
She gave me the Queen
She gave me the King
She was wheelin' and dealin'
Just doin' her thing
She was holdin' a pair
But I had to try
Her Deuce was wild
But my Ace was high
But how was I to know
That she'd been dealt with before
Said she'd never had a Full House
But I should have known
From the tattoo on her left leg
And the garter on her right
She'd have the card to bring me down
If she played it right
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack
She's got the jack
Poker face was her name
Poker face was her nature
Poker straight was her game
If she knew she could get you
She played 'em fast
And she played 'em hard
She could close her eyes
And feel every card
But how was I to know
That she'd been shuffled before
Said she'd never had a Royal Flush
But I should have known
That all the cards were comin'
From the bottom of the pack
And if I'd known what she was dealin' out
I'd have dealt it back
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, and who knows what else?
She's got the jack, yeah, yeah
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack
She's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack,
Ooh, It was a bad deal, (Jack)
She gave me the (Jack), hey
She's got the (Jack), she's got the (Jack)
She's got the (Jack), ooh can't you tell
She's got the (Jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack)
(She's got the jack, she's got the Jack)
She's got the jack, she's got the Jack
She's got the jack, you never know!
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack
She's got the jack, and it hurts!
(She's got the jack)
She's got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack
She's got the jack
Aaaaaah!
Oooooh!
Thank you, thank you, thank you people, thank you, thank you
I'm glad you like the show, yes, thank you very much folks.
Goodnight and God bless
song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Genie In A Gin Bottle
Her lips caress another cigarette
A fading belle looking for love
The smoke veils her face,
For she is, Genie in a gin bottle
Her Make up hiding the past
Silk fingernails hiding the smokers hand
Her wig of blonde hiding the soul beneath
The ladder in her stockings,
Torn like her Hollywood dreams
Her perfume sickly sweet,
Masking the odors from yesterday’s gin
The ashtray is full,
Cheap Lipstick covers the tab ends
Her vigil to find happiness
But he never comes.
Only a stream of chancers wanting to spin lady luck one more time,
Fuelled by the promise of paradise
A vacation from life,
A brag for jack Daniels
Under neon lights
A beautiful girl in a gin bottle,
An inner voice plays in her mind
“I could have been a movie star”
A role she can play all too well
But morning light never lies
Her beauty, has fled, left on the pillow
Like some Monet’s impression.
Regret lays sprawled out
Like yesterday’s salad, thrown out with the rubbish
For the slugs of corruption to eat
.
Her aging face revealing, every rejection,
Every turned down script, every broken dream
A lifetime of heart break
But she still plays her part well,
Play it again Sam
And another cigarette,
The same mistake, the same men,
From All the gin bars in the world,
She had to choose this one
Another lottery ticket to litter her despair
No winning numbers here
Her silent acceptance speech,
Laid bare in her blood shot eyes of regret
A mouthwash of gin,
And the genie of love returns to her bottle
Her legs bruised and varicose,
Testament to waitress by day, and genie by night
He closes the door, his only thought,
To get away, not his finest hour
Jack Daniels, his moral escape goat,
Nosey Neighbor’s, his jury
They bare witness to his walk of shame
She opens the curtains, and sees him fade into the faceless crowd
Alone again, a full ashtray, and an empty gin bottle,
Symbols of last night’s play,
The mirror torments her image
As She drinks coffee through smoke stained teeth,
A wave of her head, a smile, and a daydream
Tonight, her prince will save her
This is her delusion, her reason to live,
But Time is running out,
For she is part of life’s crap game.
The dice rolls once more
Will it be happiness? Or loneliness?
But in the end, deep down she knows
The House always wins, in tinsel town.
poem by Steven Cooke
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Bottle Of Red Wine
(by bonnie bramlett and eric clapton)
Get up; get your man a bottle of red wine.
Get up; get your man a bottle of red wine.
I cant get up out of bed
With this crazy feeling in my head.
Get up; get your man a bottle of red wine.
Get up; get your man a bottle of red wine.
Get up; get your man a bottle of red wine.
You hear what I say?
Gonna love you anyway.
Get up; get your man a bottle of red wine.
I went to an all-night get together
And everyone I knew was there.
Had the love that would last forever.
Everywhere I looked, I saw you standing there.
Get up; get your man a bottle of red wine.
Get up; get your man a bottle of red wine.
I cant get up out of bed
With this crazy feeling in my head.
I said get up right now, oh oh.
I said get up right now.
Feel so bad this morning; got a terrible headache in my head.
Do me a favor, baby, do me a favor please.
Please get up; get your man a bottle of red wine.
Get up, get up; get your man a big big bottle of red wine.
song performed by by Eric Clapton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Everything I Love
(harvey allen/carson chamberlain)
Coffee keeps me up and I cant sleep
And when I drink too much then I cant eat
Losing you has led me to believe
Everything I love is killing me
Everything I love is killing me
Cigarettes, jack daniels and caffeine
And thats the way youre turning out to be
Everything I love, gonna have to give up
cause everything I love is killing me
I guess I made a big mistake
Thinkin youre a habit I can break
Well, Im addicted to you now I see
Everything I love is killing me
Everything I love is killing me
Cigarettes, jack daniels and caffeine
And thats the way youre turning out to be
Everything I love, gonna have to give up
cause everything I love is killing me
Everything I love, gonna have to give up
cause everything I love is killing me
song performed by by Alan Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Jack U Off
If ure looking for somewhere to go
Thought Id take u to a movie show
Sittin in the back and Ill jack u off
I cant give u everything u want
But I can take u to a restaurant
If ure not hungry
Ill jack u off
If your man aint no good
Come on over to my neighborhood
We can jump in the sack and Ill jack u off
If ure tired of the masturbater
Little girl, we can go on a date
And if u like, Ill jack u off
Ill jack u off, jack u off
Ill jack u off, jack u off
Ill jack u off
I only do it for a worthy cause
Viriginity or menopause
Ull have an instant heart attack if I jack u off
If u really really want to be a star
We gotta do it in your mommas car
Naked in a cadillac, Ill jack u off
If we cant find no place to go
Girl, Ill take u to a movie show, we can sit in the back
And Ill jack u off
Ill jack u off, jack u off
Ill jack u off, jack u off
Ill jack u off, yeah
Yeah, yeah, Ill jack u off
Alright say, well put some funk on here
Ill jack u off
If u aint chicken baby, come here
If ure good Ill even let u steer
As a matter of fact, u can jack me off
Yeah, thats right
Ill jack u off, yeah
Ill jack u off
song performed by by Prince
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Terms of Endearment
Shirley MacLaine, Debra Winger, Jack Nicholson, Danny DeVito, Jeff Daniels
from Terms of Endearment (1983)
Submitted by anonym
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The bottle tree
A bottle tree bloometh in Winkyway land -
Heigh-ho for a bottle, I say!
A snug little berth in that ship I demand
That rocketh the Bottle-Tree babies away
Where the Bottle Tree bloometh by night and by day
And reacheth its fruit to each wee, dimpled hand;
You take of that fruit as much as you list,
For colic's a nuisance that doesn't exist!
So cuddle me and cuddle me fast,
And cuddle me snug in my cradle away,
For I hunger and thirst for that precious repast -
Heigh-ho for a bottle, I say!
The Bottle Tree bloometh by night and by day!
Heigh-ho for Winkyway land!
And Bottle-Tree fruit (as I've heard people say)
Makes bellies of Bottle-Tree babies expand -
And that is a trick I would fain understand!
Heigh-ho for a bottle to-day!
And heigh-ho for a bottle to-night -
A bottle of milk that is creamy and white!
So cuddle me close, and cuddle me fast,
And cuddle me snug in my cradle away,
For I hunger and thirst for that precious repast -
Heigh-ho for a bottle, I say!
poem by Eugene Field
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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We don't have a prayer of defeating the Red Threat of our generation without a long boom of almost unprecedented duration.
quote by Mitch Daniels
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Jack the Giant Slayer
Nicholas Hoult, Stanley Tucci, Ewan McGregor, Warwick Davis, Bill Nighy, Ian McShane, Eddie Marsan, Eleanor Tomlinson, Ben Daniels
from Jack the Giant Slayer (2012)
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Dumb and Dumber To
Jim Carrey, Jeff Daniels, Angela Kerecz, Kathleen Turner, Jeff Daniels, Paul Blackthorne, Rob Riggle
from Dumb and Dumber To (2014)
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Jack Cornstalk
Jack Cornstalk as a drover born,
Jack Cornstalk gaunt and tan,
Jack Cornstalk leaves his love forlorn,
Jack Cornstalk man to man.
Jack Cornstalk as a careless scamp,
With day-dreams in his head;
Jack Cornstalk on his lone, wide camp,
Jack Cornstalk with his dead,
Jack Cornstalk at his best and worst.
The day dawns on his brow,
Jack Cornstalk’s country must be first –
Advance Australia now!
poem by Henry Lawson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Somewhere in that 20-year period, I would assume that there will be some basically new approach that will begin to cut into it, but it's got a long time.
quote by Jack Kilby
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Tonight The Bottle Let Me Down
Tonight the bottle let me down
It let your memory come around
The one true friend I thought Id found
Tonight the bottle let me down
Ive always had a bottle I could turn to
And lately Ive been turnin every day
But the wine dont take effect the way it used to
And Im hurtin in old familiar ways
Tonight the bottle let me down
It let your memory come around
The one true friend I thought Id found
Tonight the bottle let me down
Each night I leave the bar room when its over
Not feeling any pain at closing time
But tonight your memory found me much too sober
I cant drink enough to keep you off my mind
Tonight the bottle let me down
It let your memory come around
The one true friend I thought Id found
Tonight the bottle let me down
song performed by by Elvis Costello
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Note
one night on the beach
i chanced upon a bottle
with a little note bearing words so chilly
i thought it should be left
in the bottle and corked
the way they were in the heart of the author
the andaman sea roared, cried to claim the bottle
the little note as dry as it was found
poem by John Tiong Chunghoo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Because you know, down deep in my heart, when all is said and done, I still live under the illusion that basically people think of me as an up-and-coming young actor.
quote by Jack Nicholson
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Basically, there are three ways the skunk and I are a lot alike. The first is, we both like to spread our 'stink' around. The second is we both get hit by cars a lot. The third is stripes.
Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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