All he cares about is going out there with his Jack Daniels bottle. Nothing has changed. That's kind of sad. If David was doing better than he used to be, then that would be different. But it was a joke and he made it that way.
quote by Sammy Hagar
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Just a tad snookered?
I Mighta Been a tad snookered
I remember you dimly
Through the fog of Jack Daniels
have vague memories of whipped cream
And naked cocker spaniels
I gave you my number
But didn’t get yours
Jack Daniels just makes me dumber
But it does open up my pores
We met at “Ozzie’s Big House of Burlap”
Our meeting I think, was brief
If you can, please call me asap
Cause I surely am in need of my teeth
This might sound kinda stupid
And you just might could be right
But I think I left my dentures
In your Silverado last night
poem by David Whalen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Basically, I'm for anything that gets you through the night - be it prayer, tranquilizers or a bottle of Jack Daniels.
quote by Frank Sinatra
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Packing Her Jack Daniels
She taught high school.
With the eagerness of a beaver.
Breath sweeten with peppermint.
With a quick wisp of her preferred beverage.
Scenting the air like mouth wash.
She would teach to her students,
Those required subjects and about life.
How to keep it real...
With a tad of spice.
The students liked her!
And she was quite nice.
But behind her desk...
In a small container.
She would keep her Jack Daniels,
Packed in ice.
Packing her Jack Daniels...
She disguised in a bottle,
Labelled 'Tonic For a Quick Lift'.
Everyone saw it.
And no one thought anything of it.
She did this for more than ten years!
And no one suspected a thing.
She was always cheerful and inebriated.
And sometimes she would stray in her lectures...
Bringing the kids to laugh to tears.
With 'Tonic For a Quick Lift' grasped tightly in her hand...
She would take a 'swig' now and then,
Do a little gargle...
Before she sat.
Daring not to stand.
And after school she would cruise,
Down her favorite avenue.
With a small nip bottle of 'Jack' close by.
As she would spy on her students.
Or so she told the police.
Who would constantly stop her...
For suspicions of DUI.
'Ma'am...
Have you been drinking? '
~Of course not!
What makes you think I've been drinking?
I am a respectable 'educator and motivator'.~
'Well...
I've watched you for more than fifteen minutes.
And you've been driving in circles on the track field,
On school property.'
~I'm preparing my next lecture.
Entitled, 'Keep On the Right Track'.~
'Ma'am...
I'm gonna have to ask you to step out of the vehicle.'
~But I only have my slip on! '
'I know!
Remember me from last week?
That's when I stopped you...
And you were then preparing your speech,
On Extracurricular Activities.
And I was off duty then! '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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She's Got The Jack
She gave me the Queen
She gave me the King
She was wheelin' and dealin'
Just doin' her thing
She was holdin' a pair
But I had to try
Her Deuce was wild
But my Ace was high
But how was I to know
That she'd been dealt with before
Said she'd never had a Full House
But I should have known
From the tattoo on her left leg
And the garter on her right
She'd have the card to bring me down
If she played it right
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack
She's got the jack
Poker face was her name
Poker face was her nature
Poker straight was her game
If she knew she could get you
She played 'em fast
And she played 'em hard
She could close her eyes
And feel every card
But how was I to know
That she'd been shuffled before
Said she'd never had a Royal Flush
But I should have known
That all the cards were comin'
From the bottom of the pack
And if I'd known what she was dealin' out
I'd have dealt it back
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, and who knows what else?
She's got the jack, yeah, yeah
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack
She's got the jack
She's got the jack, she's got the jack,
Ooh, It was a bad deal, (Jack)
She gave me the (Jack), hey
She's got the (Jack), she's got the (Jack)
She's got the (Jack), ooh can't you tell
She's got the (Jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack)
(She's got the jack, she's got the Jack)
She's got the jack, she's got the Jack
She's got the jack, you never know!
She's got the jack, she's got the jack
She's got the jack
She's got the jack, and it hurts!
(She's got the jack)
She's got the jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack, jack
She's got the jack
Aaaaaah!
Oooooh!
Thank you, thank you, thank you people, thank you, thank you
I'm glad you like the show, yes, thank you very much folks.
Goodnight and God bless
song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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High Or Not
Who cares who did what when?
And 'who' was high as a kite,
On 'what'!
Be it crack, smack or Jack Daniels!
Where are the life jackets?
And...
Does anyone,
High or not...
Have the keys,
To unlock the rowboats?
Let them fight amongst themselves...
As to who has more experience,
Than the other!
Not one of them is in a panic,
Right now...
About saving an ass on this sinking ship!
If folks want to debate which one is more impressive...
Fine!
Let them!
But I'd rather witness that from one of those boats.
Either watching them float,
Or doing the backstroke.
Neither of which is going to provide smooth sailing!
Not on the course...
This Captain has chosen stubbornly to embark upon!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Change The Locks
I changed the lock on my front door
So you cant see me anymore
And you cant come inside my house
And you cant lie down on my couch
I changed the lock on my front door
I changed the number on my phone
So you cant call me up at home
And you cant say those things to me
That make me fall down on my knees
I changed the nunmber on my phone
Cause I changed the kind of car I drive
So you cant see me when I go by
And you cant chase me up the street
And you cant knock me off of my feet
I changed the kind of car I drive
I changed the kind of clothes I wear
So you cant find me anywhere
You cant spot me in a crowd
And you cant call my name out loud
I changed the kind of clothes I wear
I changed the tracks underneath the train
So you cant find me ever again
And you cant trace my path
And you cant hear me laugh
And honey Im laughing all the time
I changed the name of this town
So you cant follow me down
And you cant touch me like before
And you cant make me want you more
I changed the name of this town
I changed the lock on my front door
I changed the number on my phone
I changed the kind of car I drive
I changed the kind of clothes I wear
I changed the tracks underneath the train
I changed the name of this town
I changed the name of this town
I changed the name of this town
song performed by by Tom Petty
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Everything I Love
(harvey allen/carson chamberlain)
Coffee keeps me up and I cant sleep
And when I drink too much then I cant eat
Losing you has led me to believe
Everything I love is killing me
Everything I love is killing me
Cigarettes, jack daniels and caffeine
And thats the way youre turning out to be
Everything I love, gonna have to give up
cause everything I love is killing me
I guess I made a big mistake
Thinkin youre a habit I can break
Well, Im addicted to you now I see
Everything I love is killing me
Everything I love is killing me
Cigarettes, jack daniels and caffeine
And thats the way youre turning out to be
Everything I love, gonna have to give up
cause everything I love is killing me
Everything I love, gonna have to give up
cause everything I love is killing me
song performed by by Alan Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Different Kind Of Christmas
But somehow there's a sadness in the song
In our hearts we know that something's wrong
Chorus:
It's a different kind of Christmas
In a different kind of world
Even though it looks the same
Everything has changed
It's a different kind of Christmas
Children opening gifts with wonder and surprise
I wish that I could still see through such innocent eyes
I used to feel so safe inside I had a place to run and hide
In my daddy's arms I felt secure
No one can protect us anymore
Chorus:
It's a different kind of Christmas
In a different kind of world
Even though it looks the same
Everything has changed
It's a different kind of Christmas
Sending cards that talk of peace and love and cheer
Oh that's what we need if we'd only believe
It would be!
Chorus:
It's a different kind of Christmas
In a different kind of world
Even though it looks the same
Everything has changed
It's a different kind of Christmas
song performed by by LeAnn Rimes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Jack U Off
If ure looking for somewhere to go
Thought Id take u to a movie show
Sittin in the back and Ill jack u off
I cant give u everything u want
But I can take u to a restaurant
If ure not hungry
Ill jack u off
If your man aint no good
Come on over to my neighborhood
We can jump in the sack and Ill jack u off
If ure tired of the masturbater
Little girl, we can go on a date
And if u like, Ill jack u off
Ill jack u off, jack u off
Ill jack u off, jack u off
Ill jack u off
I only do it for a worthy cause
Viriginity or menopause
Ull have an instant heart attack if I jack u off
If u really really want to be a star
We gotta do it in your mommas car
Naked in a cadillac, Ill jack u off
If we cant find no place to go
Girl, Ill take u to a movie show, we can sit in the back
And Ill jack u off
Ill jack u off, jack u off
Ill jack u off, jack u off
Ill jack u off, yeah
Yeah, yeah, Ill jack u off
Alright say, well put some funk on here
Ill jack u off
If u aint chicken baby, come here
If ure good Ill even let u steer
As a matter of fact, u can jack me off
Yeah, thats right
Ill jack u off, yeah
Ill jack u off
song performed by by Prince
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Terms of Endearment
Shirley MacLaine, Debra Winger, Jack Nicholson, Danny DeVito, Jeff Daniels
from Terms of Endearment (1983)
Submitted by anonym
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Genie In A Gin Bottle
Her lips caress another cigarette
A fading belle looking for love
The smoke veils her face,
For she is, Genie in a gin bottle
Her Make up hiding the past
Silk fingernails hiding the smokers hand
Her wig of blonde hiding the soul beneath
The ladder in her stockings,
Torn like her Hollywood dreams
Her perfume sickly sweet,
Masking the odors from yesterday’s gin
The ashtray is full,
Cheap Lipstick covers the tab ends
Her vigil to find happiness
But he never comes.
Only a stream of chancers wanting to spin lady luck one more time,
Fuelled by the promise of paradise
A vacation from life,
A brag for jack Daniels
Under neon lights
A beautiful girl in a gin bottle,
An inner voice plays in her mind
“I could have been a movie star”
A role she can play all too well
But morning light never lies
Her beauty, has fled, left on the pillow
Like some Monet’s impression.
Regret lays sprawled out
Like yesterday’s salad, thrown out with the rubbish
For the slugs of corruption to eat
.
Her aging face revealing, every rejection,
Every turned down script, every broken dream
A lifetime of heart break
But she still plays her part well,
Play it again Sam
And another cigarette,
The same mistake, the same men,
From All the gin bars in the world,
She had to choose this one
Another lottery ticket to litter her despair
No winning numbers here
Her silent acceptance speech,
Laid bare in her blood shot eyes of regret
A mouthwash of gin,
And the genie of love returns to her bottle
Her legs bruised and varicose,
Testament to waitress by day, and genie by night
He closes the door, his only thought,
To get away, not his finest hour
Jack Daniels, his moral escape goat,
Nosey Neighbor’s, his jury
They bare witness to his walk of shame
She opens the curtains, and sees him fade into the faceless crowd
Alone again, a full ashtray, and an empty gin bottle,
Symbols of last night’s play,
The mirror torments her image
As She drinks coffee through smoke stained teeth,
A wave of her head, a smile, and a daydream
Tonight, her prince will save her
This is her delusion, her reason to live,
But Time is running out,
For she is part of life’s crap game.
The dice rolls once more
Will it be happiness? Or loneliness?
But in the end, deep down she knows
The House always wins, in tinsel town.
poem by Steven Cooke
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Jack the Giant Slayer
Nicholas Hoult, Stanley Tucci, Ewan McGregor, Warwick Davis, Bill Nighy, Ian McShane, Eddie Marsan, Eleanor Tomlinson, Ben Daniels
from Jack the Giant Slayer (2012)
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Dumb and Dumber To
Jim Carrey, Jeff Daniels, Angela Kerecz, Kathleen Turner, Jeff Daniels, Paul Blackthorne, Rob Riggle
from Dumb and Dumber To (2014)
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Jack Cornstalk
Jack Cornstalk as a drover born,
Jack Cornstalk gaunt and tan,
Jack Cornstalk leaves his love forlorn,
Jack Cornstalk man to man.
Jack Cornstalk as a careless scamp,
With day-dreams in his head;
Jack Cornstalk on his lone, wide camp,
Jack Cornstalk with his dead,
Jack Cornstalk at his best and worst.
The day dawns on his brow,
Jack Cornstalk’s country must be first –
Advance Australia now!
poem by Henry Lawson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Bottle Of Red Wine
(by bonnie bramlett and eric clapton)
Get up; get your man a bottle of red wine.
Get up; get your man a bottle of red wine.
I cant get up out of bed
With this crazy feeling in my head.
Get up; get your man a bottle of red wine.
Get up; get your man a bottle of red wine.
Get up; get your man a bottle of red wine.
You hear what I say?
Gonna love you anyway.
Get up; get your man a bottle of red wine.
I went to an all-night get together
And everyone I knew was there.
Had the love that would last forever.
Everywhere I looked, I saw you standing there.
Get up; get your man a bottle of red wine.
Get up; get your man a bottle of red wine.
I cant get up out of bed
With this crazy feeling in my head.
I said get up right now, oh oh.
I said get up right now.
Feel so bad this morning; got a terrible headache in my head.
Do me a favor, baby, do me a favor please.
Please get up; get your man a bottle of red wine.
Get up, get up; get your man a big big bottle of red wine.
song performed by by Eric Clapton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Bottle
Life long bottle partner
Feeding bottle at childhood
To Ganga jal(Holy water of river Ganga)
Bottle at deathbed
Water bottle at schooldays
Cold drinks bottles
And liquor bottles at adulthood
And blood bottles at hospital bed.
Lifelong bottle partner
Lifelong bottle partner
Our life our soul is in a bottle
This body is bottle
And it is life partner.
poem by Gajanan Mishra
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I remember working on movies like Gettysburg and feeling that Jeff Daniels was kind of a mentor.
quote by Donal Logue
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Jack
YOU'RE only a dumb little dog, Jack,
About ten or twelve pounds or so,
And your wits must be all in a fog, Jack,
If you have any wits, I know.
But you've two such soft brown eyes, Jack,
5
And such long grey silky hair;
And, what very much more I prize, Jack,
Such a warm little heart in there.
They say warm hearts are rare, Jack,
And I almost believe that it's true;
10
But there ar'n't many hearts can compare, Jack,
With that staunch little heart in you.
Of course, we that speak and can read, Jack,
Have plenty of friendships sweet;
But, in spite of them all, there's a need, Jack,
15
For a friend like the friend at my feet.
This planet must seem a queer place, Jack,
To your poor little limited mind;
For I fancy you never can trace, Jack,
The reasons for half that you find.
20
You're not bothered with questions like us, Jack,
About forces and morals and laws;
And you never get worried or fuss, Jack,
When you cannot discover a cause.
But you go your own little way, Jack,
25
With a wag of the tail for a friend;
And in spite of our talk, I dare say, Jack,
That we don't do much more in the end.
poem by Frederick George Scott
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Jack Of Speed
Teddys rolling now most every night
Skatin backwards at the speed of light
Hes changed - in a thousand little ways
Hes changed - yes indeed
You know hes movin on metal, yes hes
Hanging tight with the jack of speed
Sheenas party - theres a case in point
That right-wing hooey sure stunk up the joint
Hes gone - he walks through the old routines
But hes gone - guaranteed
He may be sittin in the kitchen, but hes
Steppin out with the jack of speed
You maybe got lucky for a few good years
But theres no way back from there to here
Hes a one way rider
On the shriek express
And his new best friend is at the throttle more or less
He cant hear you honey - thats alright
Pack some things and head up into the light
Dont stop - hell be callin out your name
But dont stop when you hear him plead
You better move now little darlin or youll be
Trading fours with the jack of speed
song performed by by Steely Dan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Fishy Mystery
Here I am a fish
swimming with my friend Jack
as content as content can be,
then Jack says food ahead.
Hmm, I wonder as I spy
the wriggling worm ahead.
Jack swims with his mouth open
and then the next minute Jack and worm are gone.
My friends disappear like
that whenever food is around.
One minute we are happily swimming together
and then the next the food and they are gone.
Sadly they never come back
to say where they had gone
which only leaves me here
with a bit of a fishy mystery.
4 July 2010
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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