I wanted to be a plumber.
quote by Robert Goulet
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Plumbing (or) The Taming Of The Spew
He called to his wife, sounding, oh so, bereft
“Water just spewed right out of the sink
I just turned the faucet a bit to the left
It’s not my fault, I really don’t think”
The wife replied, “you go to work. I’ll call the plumber”
“Which one? ”, The wife’s husband did ask
“Don’t worry”, she said, “I have his number
The plumber best fit for the task”
The husband then left, as his job did come first
And she quickly got on the phone
She called up this man, the man of her thirst
The plumber with love undertone
He’d been there before, when her pipes needed fixing
When he laid right under the sink
With a large dose of grease, he gave them a slicking
This plumber sure was in the pink
When her husband came home, the spewing had ceased
He found all the plumber’s work done
She never let on just how well she’d been greased
Or how plumbing could be so much fun
poem by Stanley Cooper
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Plumbing Song
(announcer: who fixes plumbing problems in a flash? twenty four hours a day? seven days a week? )
Baby, I sure wish I could lend you a hand
But plumbings one thing I dont understand
Its true (havent got a clue)
B-b-b-baby, I can tell youve got a big problem
When I flush the john, then your shower goes on
(baby) now watcha gonna do?
If dranos a joke and your plunger is broke
Baby, call the mensch with a monkey wrench
(baby) hell be there for you
Showers backing up (up, up)?
Water wont go down (down, down)?
Ba ba-ba-ba, ba ba-ba-ba, baby
Dont forget my plumber
Ba ba-ba-ba, ba ba-ba-ba, baby
Sinks been stopped up all summer
Ba ba-ba-ba, ba ba-ba-ba, baby
Better call the plumber
Hell know what to do
Pipes been blowing up
Pipes been breaking down
And the carpets soaked... right through
Ba-ba ba ba ba, ba-ba ba ba ba ba
Ba-ba ba ba ba, kitchens flooded, too
Ba-ba ba ba ba, ba-ba ba ba ba ba
Ba-ba ba ba ba, girl, you know its true
B-b-b-betcha this guy makes more than my lawer
If he works for one day, costs you half a years pay
(baby) he can be here by 2:00
So if youve got cash, hell be there in a flash
Makin service calls in his overalls
(baby) hell do his best for you
Sewers backing up (up, up)?
Got you feelin down (down, down)?
Ba ba-ba-ba, ba ba-ba-ba, baby
Dont forget my plumber
Ba ba-ba-ba, ba ba-ba-ba, baby
Leaky pipes are a bummer
Ba ba-ba-ba, ba ba-ba-ba, baby
Time to call the plumber
Maybe call a few
Got a problem with plumbing?
Gotta blame it on something
Blame it on the drain it was cloggin, cloggin
Blame it on the faucet that drips all night
If hairballs, grease and goo
Wont let the water through
Blame it on the drain, yeah, yeah
When I flush the john, now when I flush the john
It turns your shower on
(roto-rooter 6-5000)
Ba ba-ba-ba, baby
Better call my plumber
Hell know what to do
(announcer: call now. were in the yellow pages!)
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Poor Old Joe The Plumber
I was ambitious whilst growing up,
All I wanted was wealth and fame,
The advice I got from my mates,
Was get in to the financial game.
Time moves on but you don't forget,
The hardship you endured,
I vowed I'd become a millionaire,
Of that you can rest assured.
I loved the thrill of finance,
It gave me that desire,
To have control of peoples cash,
Really did light my fire.
I've never had a conscience,
So finance was ideal,
When playing games with peoples funds,
The truth you can conceal.
As I kept the money flowing in,
I soon stoked up the flames,
Joe the plumber didn't know,
He was a pawn in my sick games.
I made them think their cash was safe,
As I sold them stocks and shares,
I gave out far too much in loans,
But still they took my wares.
I knew that I was doing wrong,
But still I found it funny,
They didn't really know me,
But they trusted me with their money.
If we'd listened to Joe the plumber,
This disaster would be on hold,
But we just ignored the warning signs,
As all that glistens to us is gold.
We know that if our system fails,
All we need do is shout,
We've made some bad investments
The governments then bail us out.
While you are left with nothing,
Our lives go on without a hitch,
Poor Joe the plumbers destitute,
While we're all filthy rich.
We‘re spending all your hard earned cash,
As we travel on our yacht,
We drink the finest wines on board,
Thanks for everything you've bought.
Now you've bailed the system out,
We can all relax,
That's until the next time,
We need Joe the plumbers tax.
Money is our aim in life,
That is what we hanker,
No I'm not a robber,
I'm a rich old city banker.
All I do is walk away,
Nobody takes me to task,
On this I feel I've got to say,
Even Dick Turpin wore a mask.
Due to our selfish actions,
It really is a bummer,
Because of our greed we helped destroy,
‘' Poor Old Joe The Plumber''
I Wanted Everything
I heard about the Easter bunny
Presents under a Christmas tree
It was dreaming and fantasy
There was no Mom or Daddy
I wanted everything
I wanted everything
I wanted everything
I had the world on my shoulder
But I was getting older
Knew I was ready for it
Some kind of employment
I wanted everything
I wanted everything
I wanted everything
All day working on a truck
Bringing the groceries up
Not much of a salary
No tip for the delivery
I wanted everything
I wanted everything
I wanted everything
There's no success for me
Involved in a robbery
There's money in the supermarket
And I'm goin' after it
I wanted everything.
song performed by by Ramones from Road To Ruin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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All She Wanted
She was a good girl
Been true to herself
Never swayed by the notions of somebody else
Shed had it rough, maybe most of the time
With only one thing on her mind
All she wanted was a lovin man
All she wanted was a lovin man
Who was tryin to do the best that he can
All she wanted was a lovin, lovin man
There could be blue skies in her heart
She was waitin for the good times to start
She never wanted diamonds
She never wanted gold
She was holdin out for someone to hold
All she wanted was a lovin man
All she wanted was a lovin man
Who was tryin to do the best that he can
All she wanted was a lovin, lovin man
A loving man
All she wanted was a lovin man
All she wanted was a lovin man
All she wanted was a lovin man
Who was tryin to do the best that he can
All she wanted was a lovin, lovin man
Loving man
All she wanted was a lovin man
All she wanted was a lovin man
All she wanted was a lovin man
All she wanted was a lovin man
song performed by by Electric Light Orchestra
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If I Wanted To
If I wanted to I could do anything right
I could dance with the devil on a
Saturday night
If I wanted to I could turn matches to gold
I could smoke drink swear and I would never
grow old
I wouldn't have to be in love with you
If I only wanted to
If I only wanted to
If I wanted to I could run fast as a train
Be as sharp as a needle that's twisting your brain
If I wanted to I could turn mountains to sand
Have political leaders in the palm of my hand
I wouldn't have to be in love with you
If I only wanted to
If I only wanted to
I could leave tonight
And I would be all right
Stop holding on
If I wanted to
If I only wanted to
If I wanted to I could be as patient as death
Fix this hole in my heart leaking into my flesh
If I wanted to I could turn sparks into ice
There'd never be another woman who could make you
think twice
I wouldn't have to be in love with you
If I only wanted to
If I only wanted to
song performed by by Melissa Etheridge
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Asshole (Nirvana Fake. An Original Song By The Disenfranchised)
When I first wanted I never ever was... naw
When I first wanted I never ever thought twice
When I first wanted, When I first wanted...
When I first wanted, When I first wanted..
When I first wanted I never ever was.. naw
When I first wanted I never ever thought twice..
When I first wanted, When I first wanted..
When I first wanted, When I first wanted...
Weeee are runnin on down..
We're..Ohhh ahh ahh ahhh..
Here, here is where its running...
We're Ohh ah ah ahhh
YEAH!
song performed by by Nirvana
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.
quote by Woody Allen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I never planned on being a plumber.
quote by Scott Caan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
quote by Woody Allen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Every actor is somewhat mad, or else he'd be a plumber or a bookkeeper or a salesman.
quote by Bela Lugosi
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Because You Wanted It
To take it!
Because you wanted it;
To eat it!
Because you wanted it;
To use it!
Because you wanted it;
To taste it!
Because you wanted it;
To serve it!
Because you wanted it;
To save it!
Because you wanted it;
And now, it is with you.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Anybody who has any doubt about the ingenuity or the resourcefulness of a plumber never got a bill from one.
quote by George Meany
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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More Than Wanted
I have wandered far and wide
For something real something to die for
But I have found you and you do not see
All that is me, all that is true
And I am more than you will see
And I am more than you will need
And I am more than you will see
More than wanted
And as you float the flimsy surface
You should know life lies beneath it
And dont pretend you feel what I feel
For you live illusion and im real
And I am more than you will see
And I am more than you will need
And I am more than you will see
More than wanted
And I am more than you will see
And I am more than you will need
And I am more than you will see
More than wanted
And I know, I know
You like the way you feel when I play
I know, I know
You don't really hear what I say
And I know, I know
You are waiting for something to rain
I know, I know
You wish you could be more than you say
And I am more than you will see
And I am more than you will need
And I am more than you will see
More than wanted
And I am more than you will see
And I am more than you will need
And I am more than you will see
More than wanted
More than you'll love
More than you'll hate
More than you'll have
More than wanted
More than you'll need
More than you'll dream
More than you'll hold
More than wanted
More than you'll crave
More than you'll cherish
More than you'll have
More than wanted
song performed by by Vanessa Carlton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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All I Ever Wanted
What are you going to say and what are you going to do ?
What are you going to say and what are you going to do ?
Too good
You could
Be so misunderstood
Snow pure
Demure
Don't feel so insecure
Heaven would be lonely without you
You satisfy the need in me
No-one makes me feel the way you do
What are you going to say and what are you going to do ?
What are you going to say and what are you going to do ?
Maligned
You'll find
A strength to ease your mind
Trust fate
Relate
This trial you'll tolerate
Summer would be bitter without you
You satisfy the need in me
Sunshine couldn't warm me like you do
Devotion's what you read in read
All I ever wanted
Was to be with you just to be with you
All I ever wanted
Just to be with you to be free with you
Review
Brand new
You know you'll see it through
From now
I wow
They'll take what you allow
Paradise so dreary without you
I couldn't last a day without you
Nothing else could take the place of you
You know I wouldn't stay without you
All I ever wanted
Was to be with you just to be with you
All I ever wanted
Just to be with you to be free with you
Yeah be with you
All I ever wanted
Come on be with you
To be free with you
Totally with you
Hey be with you
All I ever wanted
I believe in you
I believe in you
Hey hey yeah
What are you going to say and what are you going to do ?
What are you going to say and what are you going to do ?
What are you going to say and what are you going to do ?
What are you going to say and what are you going to do ?
All I ever wanted
Just to be with you
Just to be with you
All I ever wanted
Want to be with you
Got to be with you
All I ever wanted
Was to be with you
Just to be with you
All I ever wanted
Just to be with you
To be free with you
Yeah be with you
All I ever wanted
Come on be with you
Be with you
All that I want to do
Hey be with you
All I ever wanted
Come on be with you
Everything that I do
Yes I do it for you
Yeah be with you
All I ever wanted
Come on be with you
song performed by by Human League
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Let's say I was a plumber, or I worked at a factory, I would download music, you feel what I'm saying?
quote by Obie Trice
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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blocked sink
the children finally get
to know a plumber
haiku by John Tiong Chunghoo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A plumber is an adventurer who traces leaky pipes to their source.
quote by Arthur Baer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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