Every actor is somewhat mad, or else he'd be a plumber or a bookkeeper or a salesman.
quote by Bela Lugosi
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Their educations ended with high school - my father going to work as a clerk and then salesman in a company dealing in printing and stationary, and my mother working as a secretary and then bookkeeper in a firm of wool merchants.
quote by Martin Lewis Perl
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Plumbing (or) The Taming Of The Spew
He called to his wife, sounding, oh so, bereft
“Water just spewed right out of the sink
I just turned the faucet a bit to the left
It’s not my fault, I really don’t think”
The wife replied, “you go to work. I’ll call the plumber”
“Which one? ”, The wife’s husband did ask
“Don’t worry”, she said, “I have his number
The plumber best fit for the task”
The husband then left, as his job did come first
And she quickly got on the phone
She called up this man, the man of her thirst
The plumber with love undertone
He’d been there before, when her pipes needed fixing
When he laid right under the sink
With a large dose of grease, he gave them a slicking
This plumber sure was in the pink
When her husband came home, the spewing had ceased
He found all the plumber’s work done
She never let on just how well she’d been greased
Or how plumbing could be so much fun
poem by Stanley Cooper
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I think basically an actor is a salesman.
quote by Paul Lynde
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Just a Bit
A big hound dog laid on the lawn.
Nearby, an old geezer did sit.
A traveling salesman came on
The scene, and paused there for a bit.
'Does your dog bite? ' the salesman asked.
'Nope.' the old geezer replied back
Then the dog's face got snarling masked.
That salesman came under attack,
Bitten about the arms and head
By the dog, as it fiercely growled.
'Call the dog off. I thought you said'
'It doesn't bite.' the salesman howled.
'My dog don't bite.' smiled the old guy,
''Cause that there dog ain't mine, that's why.'
Salesman
Salesman, where you gonna go?
To sell all your of your goods today
Salesman, gonna walk along the street, see friends along the way
Well salesman, with your wooden cart that you push along while you walk
Hey, salesman, got a little dog whose tail wags when you talk
You always wear a smile, even though youve gotta walk ten miles
Short lifespan, goodtime salesman
Yep, yep salesman got it on the street, whether its hot or cold
Its salesman, well, you work real hard,
Until every part is sold
Salesman as the years go by,
People changing every day
Hey, salesman til the end of time youll be livin in the same way
You always wear a smile, you love em fast and you live wild
Short life span, but aint life grand?
Copper kettles, different kinds of tin
There goes salesman and hes sailing high again
Hes sailing so high, high, sailing so high...
Salesman where you gonna go to sell all of your goods today
Yup, salesman, gonna walk along the street, see friends along the way
Hey, salesman, with your wooden cart that you push along while you walk
Hey, salesman with your secret goods that you push while you talk
You always wear a smile,
Even though youve gotta walk a hundred ten miles
Short life span - but the whole things grand
Salesman...
Now, well, I tried the one that you put it in and you have to do it
Manually. but Id like the one that you just plug it in and it does it all
By itself in a real long strand and you cut em up. its easier to do it
That way because, well, I put all the stuff in there and it keeps flippin
Out. and I cant get the thing to stick together anything. coupled with
The fact that I have to stick two of them together to even get on out of it
And they always end up lookin like lucky strikes.
song performed by by Monkees
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Being a salesman and an actor were not that dissimilar: It is a good lesson in covering up your feelings. No one wants to buy from someone who looks depressed.
quote by Dougray Scott
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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An actor is an actor is an actor. The less personality an actor has off stage the better. A blank canvas on which to draw the characters he plays.
quote by Arthur Lowe
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Actor Of Love
Hold on
I have found something I longing for
To fill the hollowness of my heart
But why I'm feeling more of sorrow
Before
I am the one who said: 'Oh, I'll control'
But now I realize you are my world
And it's waiting to break apart
I'm an actor of love
I'm trying to perfect
But I'm just fooling around
I'm an actor of love
I want to be your hero
But I've made myself a clown
I'm an actor of love
I need you by my side
But now you leave me alone
I'm an actor of love
I beg your forgiveness
But you refuse me so cold
Sometimes
We wonder why we should be together
Do we really dream of love forever?
Or we afraid to be alone
I'm an actor of love
I want to protect you
But I always hurt you bad
I'm an actor of love
I want to be your shield
But may turn someone you hate
I'm an actor of love
We kiss in the morning
But in night we have a war
I'm an actor of love
We care for each other
But we only circle round
If this love only makes me crazy
Take the story and just let it be
Tragedy or comedy
Or anything it wants to be
poem by Maria Sudibyo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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My dad had been an actor... not only had my dad been an actor, but his dad had been an actor, and my great-grandfather had been an actor. And who knows before then?
quote by David Hyde Pierce
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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He Is Just a Salesman
Mom, there is a man at our door
He wants to talk to you.
The man was weary
His hair was like hay
His face was wrinkled
But a pair of eyes of steel.
Mom was angry
Go play in your room son,
He is just a salesman.
Salesman, didn't I tell you never to come again?
The man said,
Mom is right son,
I sold a heart to your mom long long ago
She promised one back but never paid
Now I want to sell another for free,
She will not allow me now.
poem by Prabhakar Sarma Neog
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Well, an actor is an actor is actor, to paraphrase someone or other and the opportunity to work, to have a steady engagement, certainly seemed like an appealing concept to me.
quote by Walter Koenig
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Behind the Scenes
The actor struts his little hour,
Between the limelight and the band;
The public feel the actor's power,
Yet nothing do they understand
Of all the touches here and there
That make or mar the actor's part,
They never see, beneath the glare,
The artist striving after art.
To them it seems a labour slight
Where nought of study intervenes;
You see it in another light
When once you've been behind the scenes.
For though the actor at his best
Is, like a poet, born not made,
He still must study with a zest
And practise hard to learn his trade.
So, whether on the actor's form
The stately robes of Hamlet sit,
Or as Macbeth he rave and storm,
Or plays burlesque to please the pit,
'Tis each and all a work of art,
That constant care and practice means --
The actor who creates a part
Has done his work behind the scenes.
poem by Andrew Barton Paterson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Vice President, Chauffeur, Butler In One Day
It was the year 1989,
I was in my twenties looking quite fine,
older man Dave would use pen to sign,
contract to prevent envelope co.
from printing my greeting card Valentine.
Harvey who wrote “Swim with the Sharks”
had a salesman I left scared in the dark.
Salesman didn’t really know,
contract that says not to show.
To make this happen
I went to the Secretary of State,
Incorporated under
Sue Chevalier Originals
as the name.
Then I bought a suit for big tall Dave,
made him my
Vice President, Chauffeur, Butler
all in one day.
Driving down highway 280 we did get lost,
but luckily we found the envelope office.
Company door handle was in big gold letter M,
I walked through it with Dave my friend.
Going into a board room with world map on the wall,
sitting at a large board room table amazed with it all.
Then salesman walks in with himself and no pen,
I pull out a fancy one which I did lend.
Then Dave, salesman and me all did sign,
a Confidentiality Agreement sealing this date in time!
Laughing with a Score representative whose retired & old,
he said “Envelope co. can’t touch my designs with a 10 foot pole.”
Written by Christina Sunrise Feb.17,2011
poem by Christina Sunrise
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The actor has to develop his body. The actor has to work on his voice. But the most important thing the actor has to work on is his mind.
quote by Stella Adler
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Plumbing Song
(announcer: who fixes plumbing problems in a flash? twenty four hours a day? seven days a week? )
Baby, I sure wish I could lend you a hand
But plumbings one thing I dont understand
Its true (havent got a clue)
B-b-b-baby, I can tell youve got a big problem
When I flush the john, then your shower goes on
(baby) now watcha gonna do?
If dranos a joke and your plunger is broke
Baby, call the mensch with a monkey wrench
(baby) hell be there for you
Showers backing up (up, up)?
Water wont go down (down, down)?
Ba ba-ba-ba, ba ba-ba-ba, baby
Dont forget my plumber
Ba ba-ba-ba, ba ba-ba-ba, baby
Sinks been stopped up all summer
Ba ba-ba-ba, ba ba-ba-ba, baby
Better call the plumber
Hell know what to do
Pipes been blowing up
Pipes been breaking down
And the carpets soaked... right through
Ba-ba ba ba ba, ba-ba ba ba ba ba
Ba-ba ba ba ba, kitchens flooded, too
Ba-ba ba ba ba, ba-ba ba ba ba ba
Ba-ba ba ba ba, girl, you know its true
B-b-b-betcha this guy makes more than my lawer
If he works for one day, costs you half a years pay
(baby) he can be here by 2:00
So if youve got cash, hell be there in a flash
Makin service calls in his overalls
(baby) hell do his best for you
Sewers backing up (up, up)?
Got you feelin down (down, down)?
Ba ba-ba-ba, ba ba-ba-ba, baby
Dont forget my plumber
Ba ba-ba-ba, ba ba-ba-ba, baby
Leaky pipes are a bummer
Ba ba-ba-ba, ba ba-ba-ba, baby
Time to call the plumber
Maybe call a few
Got a problem with plumbing?
Gotta blame it on something
Blame it on the drain it was cloggin, cloggin
Blame it on the faucet that drips all night
If hairballs, grease and goo
Wont let the water through
Blame it on the drain, yeah, yeah
When I flush the john, now when I flush the john
It turns your shower on
(roto-rooter 6-5000)
Ba ba-ba-ba, baby
Better call my plumber
Hell know what to do
(announcer: call now. were in the yellow pages!)
song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You can't get an actor to do something that is beyond his range, so you have to be aware of the range of the actor and, if necessary, alter the part to suit the actor.
quote by John Boorman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Vice President, Chauffeur, Butler In One Day
VICE PRESIDENT, CHAUFFEUR, BUTLER IN ONE DAY
It was the year 1989,
I was in my twenties looking quite fine,
older man Dave would use pen to sign,
contract to prevent envelope co.
from printing my greeting card Valentine.
Harvey who wrote “Swim with the Sharks”
had a salesman I left scared in the dark.
Salesman didn’t really know,
contract that says not to show.
To make this happen
I went to the Secretary of State,
Incorporated under
Sue Chevalier Originals
as the name.
Then I bought a suit for big tall Dave,
made him my
Vice President, Chauffeur, Butler
all in one day.
Driving down highway 280 we did get lost,
but luckily we found the envelope office.
Company door handle was in big gold letter M,
I walked through it with Dave my friend.
Going into a board room with world map on the wall,
sitting at a large board room table amazed with it all.
Then salesman walks in with himself and no pen,
I pull out a fancy one which I did lend.
Then Dave, salesman and me all did sign,
a Confidentiality Agreement sealing this date in time!
Laughing with a Score representative whose retired & old,
he said “Envelope co. can’t touch my designs with a 10 foot pole.”
Written by Christina Sunrise Feb.17,2011
poem by Suzae Chevalier
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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If there's anything I'd hate as a son-in-law, it's an actor; and if there's anything I think I'd hate worse than an actor as a son-in-law, it's an English actor.
quote by Joseph P. Kennedy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dakota Fanning is a child, but she is a wonderful actor. I don't know what a child actor is. She's an actor who's a child.
quote by Denzel Washington
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I never planned on being a plumber.
quote by Scott Caan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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