But I can also write in crappy motel rooms, while standing in line, or sitting in the dentist's chair.
quote by Augusten Burroughs
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
Crocodile's Toothache
Oh the Crocodile
Went to the dentist
And sat down in the chair,
And the dentist said, 'Now tell me, sir,
Why does it hurt and where?'
And the Crocodile said, 'I'll tell you the truth.
I have a terrible ache in my tooth.'
And he opened his jaws so wide, so wide,
That the dentist he climbed right inside,
And the dentist laughed, 'Oh, isn't this fun?'
As he pulled the teeth out, one by one.
And the Crocodile cried, 'You're hurting me so!
Please put down your pliers and let me go.'
But the dentist just laughed with a Ho Ho Ho,
And he said, 'I still have twelve to go --
Oops, that's the wrong one, I confess.
But what's one crocodile's tooth, more or less?'
Then suddenly the jaws went snap,
And the dentist was gone right off the map.
And where he went one could only guess...
To North or South or East or West...
He left no forwarding address.
But what's one dentist more or less?
poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
My Dentist
Sitting in the dentist's chair,
Wishing that I wasn't there,
To forget and pass the time
I have made this bit of rhyme.
I had a rendez-vous at ten;
I rushed to get in line,
But found a lot of dames and men
Had waited there since nine;
I stared at them, then in an hour
Was blandly ushered in;
But though my face was grim and sour
He met me with a grin.
He told me of his horse of blood,
And how it "also ran",
He plans to own a racing stud -
(He seems a wealthy man.)
And then he left me there until
I growled: "At any rate,
I hope he'll not charge in his bill
For all the time I wait."
His wife has sables on her back,
With jewels she's ablaze;
She drives a stately Cadillac,
And I'm the mug who pays:
At least I'm one of those who peer
With pessimistic gloom
At magazines of yester-year
In his damn waiting room.
I am a Christian Scientist;
I don't believe in pain;
My dentist had a powerful wrist,
He tries and tries in vain
To make me grunt or groan or squeal
With probe or rasp or drill. . . .
But oh, what agony I feel
When HE PRESENTS HIS BILL!
Sitting in the dental chair,
Don't you wish you weren't there:
Well, your cup of woe to fill,
Just think of his infernal bill.
poem by Robert William Service
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Dentist Chair (Fun Poem 99)
Everyone hates the dentist
some much more than me.
Just the thought of the drill
and the light in your eyes
puts the chills up me.
One of my worst encounters
of the dentist chair came in the 1960’s
when a cold in a tooth made my face swell
on one side like a melon
and I could only drink through a straw.
They knocked me out to remove the tooth.
Having no recovery room
they put me back in the waiting room
and sat me in a chair out there.
It was the dawn of the plastic moulded ones
and the one I sat on was so slippery
I kept slipping down.
I mumbled aloud about the dentist being no good.
Some of his patients took one look at me
and decided I was right, then made a hasty exit
from the waiting room.
With the side of my face swollen to the size of a melon
I can understand why.
Another encounter with a dentist
was quite a few years later.
A different dentist with a wholly different approach.
He was having his waiting room decorated
and I was the only one there.
He came in with a Cheshire grin across his face.
“Mr Harris, do you mind if this gentleman
takes out your teeth today? ”
Being I and thinking it was a student,
I said I didn’t mind.
The dentist then said, “He is my interior decorator.”
The smile still implanted on his face.
I nearly ran out of there.
Now the third tale concerns my wife
and she fears the dentist even more than me.
She had an appointment
and when we arrived,
the surgery was closed for lunch.
We went for a little walk
and all the cars we passed had dents in the side.
“See that.” I said.
“Yes.” She replied.
“That’s what the dentist does
when he can’t get his own way.”
As we approached, a corner
there was a church on the other side.
“Why don’t you nip in there for a quick pray
that the dentist doesn’t come back? ”
She thumped me I wonder why.
As we walked back to the surgery I assured her,
that everything was going to be OK.
They calm you as soon as you walk in.
She looked at me suspiciously and asked how?
They have a big mallet just above the door
and bop you on the head as you walk in.
Your teeth fall out in the process
and the job is done.
Now I wonder why she has never asked me
to go to the dentist with her again.
1 April 2009
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
You have to write badly to write at all. If it's crappy, I will rewrite it later. But it will be mine. You can hear the resonance of an artist who goes into herself.
quote by Kathy Mattea
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
The Dentist Appointment
On Thursday morning, I have to see the Dentist;
Cancelling the appointment, I am trying to resist.
I just don't know if I will be able to do it;
I don't know if I can put myself through it.
To help myself relax, and help allay my fears.
I am planning to plug my iPod into my ears
If, with my favourite music, my ears are filled,
It will drown out the sound of the dreaded drill.
Whenever I think about it, I feel extremely tense.
The relief I'll feel, when it's over, will be immense.
In the pit of my stomach, I get bouts of butterflies;
A few times, in secret, I've even had a little cry.
On my last trip to the Dentist, my eyes sprung a leak,
And my fingers gripped tightly to the edge of my seat.
The needle which they use, feels me with such fright,
So I'll lie there tomorrow, and shut my eyes really tight.
On Thursday morning, I'm the first one in the chair;
I'm hoping that this will make it a tad easier to bear.
But what if, the situation, I really just cannot face?
What if, away from the surgery, I then quickly race?
My Dentist does his real best to put me at ease;
He is really friendly, and looks slightly Chinese.
But, if I keep myself calm, and be really brave,
My teeth, my Dentist, will then be able to save.
poem by Angela Wybrow
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
High School is like a spork: it's a crappy spoon and a crappy fork, so in the end it's just plain useless.
quote by John Mayer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
The Road
Highways and dancehalls
A good song takes you far
Your write about the moon
And you dream about the stars
Blues in old motel rooms
Girls in daddys car
You sing about the nights
And you laugh about the scars
Coffee in the morning cocaine afternoons
You talk about the weather
And you grin about the rooms
Phone calls long distance
To tell how youve been
Forget about the losses, you exaggerate the wins
And when you stop to let em know
Youve got it down
Its just another town along the road
The ladies come to see you
If your name still rings a bell
They give you damn near nothin
And theyll say they knew you well
So you tell em youll remember
But they know its just a game
And along the way their faces
All begin to look the same
And when you stop to let em know
You got it down
Its just another town along the road
Well it isnt for the money
And its only for a while
You stalk about the rooms
And you roll away the miles
Gamblers in the neon, clinging to guitars
Youre right about the moon
But youre wrong about the stars
And when you stop to let em know
You got it down
Its just another town along the way
song performed by by Jackson Browne
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Oh, Brother
Im not much for making little wishes
But Id like a little wish to come true for you
Im not talking about loaves and fishes
But I wish that there was something I could do for you
Heres a little bit of cheap advice
To be taken in an hour of need
Dont assume that the life you left
Is the life you have to lead
(chorus)
When you come home what you gonna do
Oh brother, oh brother
Dont you try to deny
What you know to be true
The same mess of misery that you done been through
Standing in line
And its waiting for you
One kiss leads to another
Brother when you come back home
Id like to know whos knocking on door
Id like to know what they come here for
Youd like to say no
But the words wont come
Come in and sit down, seem to roll off your tongue
You forget to remember, to never die young
One kiss leads to another
Brother when you come back home
Standing in line, all of your friends
Standing in line, party never ends
Standing in line, the river flows, the river bends
Standing in line, all of your friends
- chorus -
And that moon will be
Shining in the trees
All night long
Something bound to happen for sure
Soon youll be
Stopping by talking to a friend again
Swear you aint never tasted nothing so pure
- chorus -
When you come home, your friends are dropping by
When you come home, the moon is gonna shine
When you come home, I tell you no lie
When you come home, theyre gonna offer you a line
Standing in line, all of your friends
Standing in line, party never ends now
Standing in line, the river flows, the river bends
Standing in line, all your so called friends
Standing in line, when you come home
Standing in line, oh brother, oh brother now
Standing in line, when you come home
Standing in line, what youre gonna do now
Standing in line...
song performed by by James Taylor
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Goodby Mass
Sitting on a hard chair try to sit straight
Sitting on a hard chair this moment won't wait
Listening to the speakers they're talking about you
Look at all the people all the people you know
Sitting with my back straight it becomes hard to hear
Some people are crying it becomes hard to hear
I don't think you'd have liked it you would have made a joke
You would have made it easier you'd say "tomorrow I'm smoke"
Sitting on a hard chair how far we have come
Trying hard to listen to your friends who have come
Some of them are famous and some are just like me
Trying hard to listen trying hard to see
Sitting in a hard chair it's over time to stand
Some people are crying I turn to grab your hand
It's your daughter saying thank you
You, you would have made a joke
"Isn't this something," you say, "tomorrow I'm smoke
song performed by by Lou Reed
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Goodby Mass - In A Chapel Bodily Termination
Sitting on a hard chair try to sit straight
Sitting on a hard chair this moment wont wait
Listening to the speakers theyre talking about you
Look at all the people all the people you knew
Sitting with my back straight it becomes hard to hear
Some people are crying it becomes hard to hear
I dont think youd have liked it you would have made a joke
You would have made it easier youd say tomorrow Im smoke
Sitting on a hard chair how far we have come
Trying hard to listen to your friends who have come
Some of them are famous and some are just like me
Trying hard to listen trying hard to see
Sitting in a hard chair its over time to stand
Some people are crying I turn to grab your hand
Its your daughter saying thank you, you, you would have made a joke
Isnt this something, you say, tomorrow Im smoke
song performed by by Lou Reed
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Vissions From My Window
Pollution, death and dispair
vissions from my window, sitting on my chair
Endless disease surrounds our air
vissions from my window, sitting on my chair
Every minute gone by, worser conditions
many believe, they are solved with petitions
Lesser accolades, for a job well done
hospitality fading, generosity gone
Tensions growing, can be cut with a knife
education failing, changing our life
Brung on by people who do not care
brung on by people who wont play fair
Vissions from my window, sitting on my chair.
poem by White Tiger
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Front Line
I am a veteran of the war
I up and joined the army back in 1964
At sixteen I just had to be a man at any cost
I volunteered for Vietnam where I got my leg shot off
I recall a quote from a movie that said "who's more a man
Than a man with a reason that's worth dyin' for"
They had me standing on the front line
They had me standing on the front line
They had me standing on the front line
But now I stand at the back of the line when it comes to gettin' ahead
They gave me a uniform and a tiny salty pill
To stop the big urge I might have for the wrong kind of thrill
They put a gun in my hand and said, "shoot until he's dead"
But it's hard to kill when 'please your friend' echoes through your head
Brought up in church taught no man should take another's life
But then put in a jungle where life has no price
They had me standing on the front line
They had me standing on the front line
They had me standing on the front line
But now I stand at the back of the line when it comes to gettin' ahead
Back in the world the paper reads today
Another war is in the brewing
But what about the lives of yesterday
And the many happy families that have been ruined
My niece is a hooker and my nephew's a junkie too
But they say I have no right to tell them how they should do
They laugh and say "quit bragging" 'bout the war you should never have been in
But my mind is so brain-washed I'd prob'bly go back and do it again
I walk the neighborhood parading my purple heart
With a fear of agent orange that no one will stop
They had me standing on the front line
They had me standing on the front line
They had me standing on the front line
But now I stand at the back of the line when it comes to gettin' ahead
[Repeat 2 times...fade out]
song performed by by Stevie Wonder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Jim Jim
jim jim
your ever so prim
sitting there in your chair
making fun as you do
wondering what next to do
jim jim
you're a fun friend
thank you for being there
evn thow your just sitting there
jim jim
your ever so prim
just sitting there inont know
your chair
whats next you ask to do
oh i dont know
lets have a brew
maybe then you can tell me all
whats going on
oh lets have a ball
jim jim
your fun to know
you make me laugh
did you know
jim jim your ever so prim.
for my friend jim mcElderry...(x-factor winners dad) ...the end
poem by Christina McIntosh
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Line Of Fire
It was a hot and steamy night,
Then frankie pulled his gun in sight.
He said, now suzi, dont you lie.
Did stevey, did he catch you with another guy?
Standing in the line of fire its gonna shoot ya.
Standing in the line of fire its comin to ya,
Its goin through ya.
He told her that he had been true,
And that hed never made her blue, no.
So dont go sayin steveys a liar,
Girl, Ive got my finder on a hair-trigger wire.
Standing in the line of fire its gonna shoot ya.
Standing in the line of fire its comin to ya,
Its goin through ya.
Bye, bye, bye, suzi.
So long girl.
Those gunshots echoed through the town.
Oh frankie threw his shotgun down.
That roof had moonlight shinin through.
She said shed never, never, never, make him blue, yea.
Standing in the line of fire its gonna shoot ya.
Standing in the line of fire its comin to ya,
Standing in the line of fire its gonna shoot ya.
Its goin through ya.
Bye, bye, bye, suzi.
So long.
song performed by by Journey
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Stroker Ace
light up the wheels and go for broke
stomp that pedal with a sniftin stroke
smack that roadblock caught in a pickle
i'm gonna hit that line like old dick trickle
well my motor's fine and this train's on time
and when i cross that line i'm gonna make you mine
i'm stroker ace-stroker ace-stroker ace
well it smells like poop and it sure looks crappy
gotta get back to north pappy flappy
well it's one a.m. and i'm rollin' in the car now
gonna hit last call down at the bar now
got a shammy in my pocket and it's burnin' a hole
stick it the floor and watch me roll
well my motor's fine and this train's on time
and when i cross that line i'm gonna make you mine
i'm stroker ace-stroker ace-stroker ace
well it smells like poop and it sure looks crappy
gotta get back to north pappy flappy
song performed by by Ween
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Blue Collar Joe
blue collar Joe,
he's standing in line...
aint no trains to hop,
aint no trucks to pop...
he's standing in line,
for a handout, and a hand up....
he made your furniture,
he made your cars.
he wove your cloth....
he made boxes and tools,
he worked your steel.
he made just the right parts
for the right time.....
now you dont need him
to make anything anymore...
cheaper, more profitable,
to ship from overseas....
so he's standing in line....
a line going nowhere!
poem by Eric Cockrell
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
I got so anxious sitting in the make-up chair for hours with my face covered. I had my doctor write a prescription for valium. I couldn't have done it without the pill.
quote by Kim Hunter
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Confined Spaces
I tend to write and I don’t know why
in confined spaces wherever I am.
My desk is filled with odds and sods
giving no more than
about six inches to write within.
Sometimes I write parked in my car
sitting behind the steering wheel.
Its not that I write better
sitting like a shrivelled up prune,
it is just that they are the only spaces
I can get my writing down.
In a confined space somewhere.
31 January 2008
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
The Line Is Fine
Look at me I'm so disgusting
I will never find another
Quite like you
You make me blue
With the things you do
Look at you you're so familiar
We could be so cool together
All the time
Could all be fine
We're on the line
The line is fine
Open up mah window
The line is fine
Standing on the ledge
Well I don't look down
Looking at the people
Well they all look fine
It's not just life or death
Yesterday we talked together
But tonight it's just the weather
Chillin' me
What's the point in silly talking
We could get there quicker walking
Down the line
could all be fine
But we're on the line
The line is fine
But staring at the faces
Standing in a row
Think of all the places
That they have yet to go
They don't know
song performed by by Travis from Good Feeling
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
A dentist's assistant named Jule
saw a blister appear on his tool.
Said the dentist 'don't fret
it's the girl that you met
from the Queensland Venereal School.'
quote by by Herbert Nehrlich
Submitted by Dan Costinaş
Vote! | Copy!