A Cannibal is a person who walks into a restaurant and orders a waiter.
quote by Morey Amsterdam
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
Lost in translation
At My favorite Chinese restaurant
The other day, I somehow got to thinking
about ethnicity
I wondered if there were Chinese Jews
So I asked my waiter
Explicitly:
“Do you have Chinese Jews? ”
I innocently asked
my Chinese waiter
“I don’t think so, I really don’t know,
But I’ll ask the manager and
Let you know later”
He returned in a while
And said with a smile
“no…No have Chinese Jews.”
I couldn’t believe it: a bazzillion people
No “Morrys“…“No Sheckys? ”
What astounding news! !
I queried him again
“could you check
Once more my friend? ”
He denied and replied,
“I regret to admit ItAnd don’t want
To offend
But what you ask for
Has us completely
Confused”
“So sorry to say… that for today
We have only: Grape..Orange…Tomato
and Prune Jews.”
poem by David Whalen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Restaurant fragments
That day we were in Burgundy’s
and somebody played the notes
of “Ballade pour Adeline”
on the piano
and it was peaceful in that restaurant
while a waiter brought the menu
and I ordered a bottle of white wine for you
and drank a glass of golden Hunters.
You were busy with your notebook
and were searching for a shopping list
as if suddenly it had disappeared
but everything was inter-textual
and our life played out in small happenings.
Much too quickly the time between us
was running out
so as if you already
had other greener pastures
and you were busy with the list
of things that we have to buy
and the quietness of the restaurant
came to lie in my heart.
poem by Gert Strydom
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Basic J
Jo the waiter spilling wine
Over some ex-friends of mine
In zero cafe number 9
What you gonna say this time
Basic j, say, are you new here
New ones walking down the stairs
Pretty young thing but no-one cares
Jo the waiter drops the tray
Do you always know your name
Jo the waiter smiled at me
Jo the waiters company
I keep him in a book by my fireside
A drama is my perfect bride
song performed by by Gary Numan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
The Fly
It's no secret that the stars are falling from the sky
It's no secret that our world is in darkness tonight
They say the sun is sometimes eclipsed by a moon}
Y' know I don't see you when she walks in the room
It's no secret that a friend is someone who lets you help
It's no secret that a liar won't believe anyone else
They say a secret is something you tell another person
So I'm telling you... child
Low Voice:
A man will beg
A man will craw
On the sheer face of love
Like a fly on a wall
It's no secret at all
It's no secret that a conscience can sometimes be a pest
It's no secret ambition bites the nails of success
Every artist is a cannibal
song performed by by U2
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Orders From Headquarters
Mathew 20: 28
Just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and give His life as a ransom for many
Jesus himself came to follow orders. And a great one too. To sacrifice His life for ours. To save us.
Not many like to take orders. Yet in reality, we take orders everyday. Whether it's work, school, parents, or even sports. We are all obliged to take orders whether we like it or not. Why is that though?
Most of the time we take orders from those we need. For example, your boss at work. You take his orders because you need the money. Or your teachers. You take their commands because you're looking to graduate.
In retrospect, we need to follow God's orders because we need Jesus more than anything in this world. He's our provider, our light, our breath of everyday, our everything.
He gave us orders, and that's to serve Him. So how much more do we need to carry out His orders? Jesus did it. So how much more do we?
These are the orders from headquarters, carry out His commandments, seek Him. Evangelize, and care for others according to His will.
In the Name of Jesus. Amen.
poem by Rafael Barboza
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Stories
She sits in the corner
Where its reasonably quiet
Drinking coffee with cream
Thinking stories of young love
She calls to the waiter
wont you lend me some time?
You can sit by my side
And Ill let you be friends with mine.
The cafe is old
But the candlelights new
She orders beaujolais wine
And says Ive thought of you too
She whispers isnt it odd
You remind me of songs
That Id rather forget
Like feelings I longed for
You haunt me inside
Sometimes I recall
Question mistakes
Who grew to nothing at all
I hear voices that cry
And one of thems mine
All the things I could say
Are the reasons I cant
She says Ive seen you before
In thoughts I call son
Like an old film with sound
When the link comes undone
The waiter is me
And the woman is you
And we are the story
Just like others I knew
song performed by by Gary Numan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Heaven always bears some proportion to earth. The god of the cannibal will be a cannibal, of the crusades a crusader, and of the merchants a merchant.
quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Waiter! Bring Me Water!
He took me to--our favorite spot
A place we go to hang a lot
Something seemed to catch his eye
Oh--oo--oh over my shoulder
Oh--oo--oh over my shoulder
I turned around--to see whats up
A pretty young thing sure enough
She was new--he wanted to
Kno--oo--oh--oh--oo--ow her
Kno--oo--oh--oh--oo--ow her
Oh--yeah--
Then she flicked her hair (yeah!)
Oh--yeah--he began to stare
[chorus:]
Waiter! (waiter) bring me water!
I gotta make him keep his cool
(waiter) bring me water!
Hes acting like a fool
(waiter) bring me water!
Uh, oh, I did my best--to block his view
But it was like he could see through me
I just knew--he wanted to
Ho--oo--oh--oh--oo--oh--old her
Ho--oo--oh--oh--oo--oh--old her
Oh--yeah--i aint gettin nowhere (yeah!)
Oh--yeah--shes still standing there
[repeat chorus]
Theres gotta be a way to cool this clown--
Hes starting to embarrass me
I may even have to hose him down--
Bring me water
I dont know what he finds so distracting--
Whats so hot about her
I really dont like the way hes acting
Bring me water!
Uh, bring it on!
Uhhhh
Oh
Whats so hot about her
Uh, uh, uh,
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
(waiter, bring me water)
Gotta make him keep his cool
(waiter, bring me water)
Send him back to school
(waiter, bring me water)
Hes acting like a fool
(waiter, bring me water)
Waiter, bring me water
song performed by by Shania Twain
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Set On Auto-Pilot
Not only have they been,
Floating along powered by denial.
Their minds have been set on auto-pilot,
For as long as the supplies held out.
Now no one can convince them,
They must swim to shore...
Aided by their own initiative.
For them what had existed,
Is no more!
Many have chosen to ignore this warning.
With a demand for a new menu.
And a replacement of a chef...
That has never existed to prepare a new dish.
They laugh and perceive this to be an absurdity.
'Excuse me? '
And the tides are rushing ever so close,
To toss them all over a cliff.
And this...
They protest with the loudest of voices.
And wish all of this nonsense,
Be stopped by the shutting of lips.
Excuse me?
Waiter?
Waiter?
Did you see him pass us?
As if he did not hear me.
WAITER?
That's it.
He gets from me no tip! '
That is why they pass petitions.
To avoid this 'foolishness'.
'Waiter?
And he's parading around here,
With a lifejacket on.
Waiter?
I'm demanding your presence immediately.
Oh no he didn't! !
Did you see him sush me? '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Creep Hymn
The creep
Goes to a restaurant
And order the food to eat at the restaurant
But when the food comes he eats a little bit of the food
Just so he can taste it
And he tells everybody very loud that the food that he order
Taste like shit
And then he takes the plate and throws it on the floor
But he lives the restaurant without pay
The waitress from the restaurant looks everywhere for him in the Restaurant
Sorry waitress he is gone out of the door
And he run away so that you couldn't catch him
poem by Aldo Kraas
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Death of a kitchen
Empty room across the restaurant hall
Not even a fly buzz.
The waiter is lying upon a table.
Of square blood patterns' cloth
The chef, has hung himself.
The porter run away with the mouse wife.
While the pan dance in the rust water.
Cupboard of Cockroaches.
poem by Luca Menin
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
The prejudice was so bad in the United States at that time that a dark person with a white person would not be served in a restaurant. My father, mother, and I would try it occasionally. We would sit there, and the food would never come.
The Creep In Him...
The waitress was fooled by the creep
who orders steak and says
that her steak is shit and throws the plate
to the floor
creating a scene in the restaurant
and...
then runs away.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Breasts On a Plate
She needed to feel more desirable.
So she placed her breasts on a plate.
She asked our waiter what he thought!
The waiter looked at me and apologized
For not being more prompt with the check!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Eating Alone In A Chinese Restaurant
all my life i never imagine myself eating alone.
there is something detestable i think when a person eats alone.
either he is selfish to have to share a conversation with someone else
or that he is shutting himself away from this world where each must belong
to someone else, lest one can be branded as another scrooge
before Christmas, a misanthrope, a man who has no capacity to relate to
another human being, or even with a pet dog, or cat, to join him eating
in a restaurant.
i have seen some who eat alone in a Chinese restaurant, their eyes fixed on
the other customers eating alone too, sipping the bird's nest soup with the sound of a pig or a big bird, as though eating alone becomes a socially
acceptable action. I do not bother asking them, why they eat alone and look
stupid with their lonely eyes, falling faces, less hair, and protruding teeth.
then i start to eat alone by myself. I look at the passers-by one rainy day
through the glass window of the restaurant. I enjoy the noodles and the
sweet sour pork and the bottomless red tea and the jasmine rice.
i tell you, it did not take that long really to learn to live my life alone.
after you left me.
It is this eating alone in a Chinese restaurant which taught me. And now i am beginning to like it.
Sans love. Sans anybody.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
The average housewife goes to the restaurant to relax and enjoy the food. But when Eva walks in, she becomes the center of attention.
Lyric four bulls
Woman walked in forest alone
Met man
Man aroused appetite for her
Man ran and knocked his head on tree
Tail grew out
Hairy jaw grew in mouth
Hind legs grew
Man metamorphosed because was
Lion cannibal
Tried to attack man
Woman asked cannibal
‘’where’re your four
red and white bulls’’
‘’Do you know them’’
‘’Yes, you sing their
Oldest lyric’’
Cannibal laughed
In hoarse voice
Sang,
‘’One red and white spotted bull is sold
One red and white bull spotted is stolen
One red and white spotted bull is swallowed
One red and white spotted bull is scattered
On earth, scattered on earth, on earth, on earth……………….., cannibal sang tune of ‘’scattered on earth’’ happily for long and until
He napped and woman disappeared.
poem by David Aoloch Bion
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
The Dilatory Terrorist
'I want a curry in a hurry'
Said the man in the big car
'I think I’m going to Glasgow
Can you tell me is it far?
I forgot my AA route map
And brought the Koran instead
It’s a hard life being a terrorist
But I’ll be worshipped when I’m dead'
‘Ahah’ said the young waiter
‘Are you really one of them,
Who give their life up for the cause
Where will you strike and when? ’
With his nan and his samosas
He just smiled a knowing way
‘Ah ‘God is great and bountiful
Now I must be on my way’
‘But we have some tempting specials’
Said the young and waiting man
‘Well maybe I’ll be tempted’
And he ordered two and not just one
The route to Glasgow was explained
He now knew all the roads
And then he went to drive to there
With his incendiary load
He went outside the restaurant
He stood in shock and quaked in fear
The big car he’d arrived with in
Was no longer there - or even near
‘The bloody things been stolen’
He screamed up at the sky
‘Now what on earth do I do’
‘Oh why oh why oh why’
‘Who can you trust these godless days’
He wailed as if possessed
‘I will not be a martyr now’
He was in serious distress
The young waiter was upset for him
Than had a sudden thought
‘Tell me, sir, that car of yours
Was it rented, leased or bought? ’
'I bought it outright with some cash’
Not rented nor on lease’
‘Then, sir, let me suggest to you
You speak to the police.’
poem by David Keig
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Meanstreak
Ive been to the left, Ive been to the right
Ive found myself in abudhabi, just a mirage in the night
Been to the high, Ive been to the low
And Ive been to lots of places that I didnt wanna go
But I aint see nothing to get me off my ass
And laughed at all the jokers wanting make me walk on glass
I could walk fore I could crawl
And I was meaner than a bad dog with his back against the wall
Animal, animal
Cannibal, cannibal
See em fall, see em fall
Im the guy that they call -
Meanstreak, I gotta meanstreak
Meanstreak, they call me meanstreak
I just dont know who I wanna be
The count of monte cristo or the sheik of arabia
Ive eaten rich, and Ive eaten free
Im the perfect culture vulture in the face of poverty
And I aint met no one who told me I got class
They say never feed the animal, the boys got too much flash
Im a guy they just cant teach
And I always kick the castle thats been built up on the beach
Animal, animal
Cannibal, cannibal
See em fall, see em fall
Im the guy that they call -
Whats your name?
Meanstreak
song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!