If he's got golf clubs in his truck or a camper in his driveway, I don't hire him.
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Clubs For Lonely People
Wouldn't it be enough
To have magic golf clubs
For lonely people
That would get them friends ample
Whenever they went to play
Using those golf clubs any given day?
I am free to dream
Of a simple magical scheme
To solve a hard to fathom,
Serious problem.
poem by Lonely People Champion
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Golf has become so manicured, so perfect. The greens, the fairways. I don't like golf carts. I like walking. Some clubs won't let you in unless you have a caddy and a cart.
quote by Robert Redford
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Bettys Got A Bass Boat
(bernie nelson/craig wiseman)
Now betty was your average ordinary girl
Never wanted very much out of this world
Just an occasional dinner and twirl, from a regular guy
So betty sat up one lonely night
Trying to figure out what a man might like
Then like a bolt right out of the blue, she got herself a plan
Bettys got a bass boat, bettys got a truck, all of a sudden things are looking up
Shes the most popular girl in town, since she got a new camper and a huntin hound
Might be coincidental, oh you just might never know
Oh, but things sure got a lot better since betty got a bass boat
Now lately getting a date isnt all that hard
Theres a half a dozen bubbas fightin in the yard
She won em over with her southern charm, and a satellite dish
Now betty cant believe her popularity
Shes thinkin bout marketing her recipe
So ironic and the funny thing is, she never even liked to fish
Bettys got a bass boat, bettys got a truck, all of a sudden things are looking up
Shes the most popular girl in town, since she got a new camper and a huntin hound
Might be coincidental, oh you just might never know
Oh, but things sure got a lot better since betty got a bass boat
Shes got bowling shoes, she cant lose
Shes got those boys just blowin their fuse
Shes got a big screen, shes in the in scene
Theyre ever gonna make her strawberry queen
Bettys got a bass boat, bettys got a truck, all of a sudden things are looking up
Shes the most popular girl in town, since she got a new camper and a huntin hound
Might be coincidental, oh you just might never know
Oh, but things sure got a lot better since betty got a bass boat
song performed by by Pam Tillis
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.
quote by Jack Benny
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Golf Tees Lament
Golf tees on my dresser
Golf tees in my bed
Golf tees on my pillows
Where they poke me in my head
Golf tees in my closet
Falling from my shirts and pants
Golf tees along the baseboards
Just like army ants
Golf tees in the carpet
And underneath my feet
Golf tees lined up on the mantle
Oh, they look so neat
Golf tees in my couch
And in my back and thighs
When I sit and watch TV
I feel those little guys
Golf tees in the kitchen
In Jurassic coffee mugs
Sometimes when I pass them
They look like prehistoric bugs.
Golf tees in the bathtub
Like sailors on plastic ships
Golf tee in her make-up
Like little bald q-tips.
Golf tees in the attic
Golf tees in the shed
Golf tees, golf tees everywhere
I wonder where they bred?
Golf tees out the backdoor
Like Hansel-and-Gretel’s trails
Golf tees in the flowerbeds
Among the mulch and snails
Golf tees in my car
And underneath the mats
Golf tees in the backseat
Like little baseball bats
But when I am at the golf course
I ask my partner, like a louse…
“May I borrow some of your tees? ”
I left mine at the house!
poem by Larry Buddin
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I rode it once, which was up the driveway in the opening credits of the show. I didn't know how to stop it. I actually nearly killed the director of photography, and I smashed into the sound truck.
quote by Henry Winkler
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Red Truck
there is this red
truck with muddy
wheels
beside an old
concrete fence
parked alone
it's been there
for the whole
day under
the sun
not for hire.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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On A Sunny Day
the red truck still parks
on the side of the concrete fence
it is TED 413
and still insists that it is
NOT FOR HIRE.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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After that initial success, every chance we got we'd hire that remote recording truck and just record stuff at the Whisky because it was so inexpensive.
quote by Johnny Rivers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Supreme Court ruled that disabled golfer Casey Martin has a legal right to ride in a golf cart between shots at PGA Tour events. Man, the next thing you know, they're going to have some guy carry his clubs around for him.
quote by Jon Stewart
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The majority of people who buy homes in golf course communities don't play golf. Golf is way down at the bottom in terms of total numbers and growth.
quote by Ed McMahon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fire and Hire
Got this nuggets
from an old sage of mine
in the then promising youthful times
(thinking I would be soon a fire-and-hire officer but not)
Be cautious of fabulous cv/resume
be aware of glittering diplomas
overload certificates
overqualified is also disqualified
and not all of these are
fitted for the hire
how would you hire
to avoid mis-hire? (a barrier for a long-term goal)
Weed not out
those who would adapt new tricks
in a fast changing work place
they are a handful if not few
How?
I believe in your instinct;
my intuition says
poem by Rommelmarkmarchan Best Poems
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For A Round Of Golf
For leisure the game that so many do play
For a round of golf 'tis a beautiful day
By the wide slow flowing river that crawls to the sea
Men and women practice their strokes before their evening tea.
As a boy I believed hobby golfers had easy jobs
And that those who enjoyed golf were well to do snobs
But such antiquated thinking not relevant today
As all kinds of classes the game of golf play.
A beautiful day for a beautiful game
For most hobby golfers with no aspirations to fame
After work they go to the golf course in the evening sun
And play the eighteen holes for the sake of fun.
Of the praises of golf everybody doesn't sing
But for the participants a game without physical contact can be such a fun thing
In the golf course by the river that to the sea crawl
The crack of the iron on the stone hard golf ball.
poem by Francis Duggan
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Your Teeth Are Like Upside Down Mountains
teeth like upside down mountains,
eyes like those of a frog big and bulging,
ears like played with playdo,
freckles are like a parker pen explosion,
forehead large and plain like a desert.
nose is like a melting candle.
your legs like golf clubs,
your the most perfect thing i have ever seen,
and you know it.
poem by Not Long Left
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Guns For Hire (live 1983)
(A. Young M. Young B. Johnson)
The word is out that I'm about
And I've come gunnin' for you
I'm a real entertainer a mischief maker
A lover of no fixed abode
Ooh quick draw on the floor
No law give you more
Sweet talkin' lover of sin
You want what you get
You get what you want
Look out woman
I got gun's for hire
Shoot you with desire
The gun's for hire
Shoot you with desire
I'm a wanted poster a needed man
Wanted right across the land
I'm a smooth operator a big dictator
Gonna mark you with my brand
My gun's for hire
Shoot you with desire
Got gun's for hire
Shoot you with desire
Quick draw
On the floor
Big shot
Stick em' up
Hot to trot big shot take the lot
Never get the drop on me
I'm a real entertainer mischief maker
Love in seven languages
My gun's for hire
Shoot you with desire
This gun's for hire
I shoot you with desire
My gun's for hire
Shoot you with desire
Got gun's for hire
Shoot you with desire
What you got
Big shot
You can't get
You can't get the drop
On me
song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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050611G yes, be nice now
garbage truck collecting
taking its usual round
must be end of week
tomorrow is golf day
if it doesn't rain again
afternoon is dinner time
we are overwhelm with
appointments everyday
sometimes not our doing
trying; socially acceptable
but where is real us or me
honey; wait 'til we get home
poem by Manonton Dalan
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Alysoun
An hendy hap ichabbe yhent;
Ichot, from hevene it is me sent;
From alle wymmen mi loue is lent,
And lyght on Alysoun.
Bytuen{.e} Mersh and Averil,
When spray biginneth to spring{.e},
The lutel foul hath hir{.e} wyl
On hyr{.e} lud to syng{.e}.
Ich libbe in love longing{.e}
For semlokest of all{.e} thing{.e}.
He may me bliss{.e} bring{.e};
Icham in hire baundoun.
On heu hire her is fayr ynoh,
Hire brow{.e} broune, hire ey{.e} blak{.e};
With lossum chere he on me loh;
With middel smal, and wel ymak{.e}.
Bote he me woll{.e} to hire tak{.e},
Fort{.e} buen hire owen mak{.e},
Longe to lyven ichulle forsak{.e},
And fey{.e} fallen adoun.
Niht{.e}s when y wende and wak{.e},
Forthi myn wong{.e}s waxeth won;
Levedi, al for thin{.e} sak{.e}
Longinge is ylent me on.
In world nis non so wyter mon,
That al hire bounté tell{.e} con.
Hire swyre is whittore then the swon,
And feyrest may in toune.
Icham for wowyng al forwake,
Wery so water in wor{.e}.
Lest eny rev{.e} me my mak{.e},
Ychabbe y-yern{.e}d yor{.e}.
Betere is tholien whyl{.e} sor{.e}
Then mournen evermor{.e}.
Geynest under gor{.e},
Herkn{.e} to my roun.
poem by Anonymous Americas
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The economics of baseball are the big problem. The big clubs make a lot of money and the little clubs don't.
quote by Fay Vincent
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
quote by Henny Youngman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Clubs are so lame. Nobody even dances at these clubs. They stand around and get drunk and they schmooze. There is no enjoyment factor.
quote by Shia LaBeouf
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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