Related quotes: You can't be fat and...

You can't be fat and fast, too; so lift, run, diet and work.

quote by Hank Stram
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes

Grapefruit Diet

Whos that waddlin down the street
Its just me cause I love to eat
Fudge and twinkies and deviled ham
Whos real flabby? yes, I am!
Every picture of mes
Gotta be an aerial view
Now my doctor tells me
Theres just one thing left to do
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Throw out the pizza and beer
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Oh, get those jelly donuts out of here
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Might seem a little sever
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Im gettin tired of my big fat rear
Blow, fatty!
Well, I used to live on chocolate sauce
Made sumo wrestlers look like kate moss
Walked down an alley and I got stuck
I got more rolls than a pastry truck
When Im all done eating
I eat a little more
When I leave a room
First I gotta grease the door
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Cant have another eclair
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
I gotta decrease my derriere
Im on a grapefruit diet
Im on a grapefruit diet
Im on a grapefruit diet
No more pie now
No more creme brulee
Lay off the gravy
And souffle
No french fri-yi-yies now
No ice cream parfait
Mr. cheese nacho
Stay away
Oh I think Id sell my soul
For a triple patty melt
But I need a boomerang
When I put on my belt
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Lay off the 3 musketeers
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Until my big booty disappears
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
Eat em till theyre comin out of my ears
Grapefruit diet (diet!)
cause I havent seen my feet in years
Im on a grapefruit diet
Im on a grapefruit diet
Im on a grapefruit diet
I think Im about ready for a quarter pounder with extra cheese
I need a side order of onion rings
And dont forget to super-size that

song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hindu Diet Principle

Finally figured out why diets never work
for me: I follow Hindu principles when
starting a new regime, at first a new con-
vert's Medieval fervour for new food, free
from cholesterol, caffeine and sugar - no
chocolates, cakes and bread, only green
tea, fruits, salads, almonds, honey and
yogurt - then comes the backlash

A passionate desire for forbidden stuff,
my old diet, a pantheon of gluttony gods
crawl back and I eat the old illegal foods
and the new healthy things - devoted to
all culinary deities I just assimilate the
new within the old and eat TWICE as
much as before, paying my respects
to all the gods dreamt into existence

In this universe - honouring ALL foods
regardless of oil, fat, sugar, cholesterol
and wheat content - every new diet is a
new addition to the diet I love - thus I'm
worse off than I were before the new
regime kicked off; should I market
the lovely Hindu diet principle?

poem by Margaret Alice Second
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Put Yourself On a Diet of Love

Put yourself on a diet of love.
And recognize the meaning of forgiveness.
To strengthen and not weaken.

Put yourself on a diet of love.
And recognize the meaning of forgiveness.
Through the week and over the weekend...
No matter who may think you're freaking!

Put yourself on a diet of love.
And recognize the meaning of forgiveness.
Recognize the benefit,
Of a happiness exisiting.

Put yourself on a diet of love.
And recognize the meaning of forgiveness.
Only you can testify of Sunlight on the horizon.

Put yourself on a diet of love.
And recognize the meaning of forgiveness.
To strengthen and not weaken.
And declare your peace of mind,
Has come to satisfy your needs.

Put yourself on a diet of love.
And recognize the meaning of forgiveness.
You will find a peace of mind,
Has no time to search for enemies.

Put yourself on a diet of love.
Get rid of nitpick nibbling.
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Get rid of nitpick nibbling.

You will find a peace of mind,
Has no time to search for enemies.
So...
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Get rid of nitpick nibbling.
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Get rid of nitpick nibbling.

Put yourself on a diet of love.
Through the week and over the weekend...
To strengthen and not weaken,
Your needs.

You will find a peace of mind,
Has no time to search for enemies.
So...
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Get rid of nitpick nibbling.
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Get rid of nitpick nibbling.

You will find a peace of mind,
With a remedy you found to please!

So...
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Eat up all you want to eat!
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Feel the lightness in your feet!
So...
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Eat up all you want to eat!
Put yourself on a diet of love.
Feel the lightness in your feet!

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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He Can Lift Me Up

Hard, have I endeavoured,
To lift myself up,
Mainly by my own bootstrap,
From this horrible trap.

The more I try,
The more I feel stranded,
‘Cos the reality is scary.
Strapped of opportunity,
Entrapped by paucity.
Can I ever lift myself up?

I can't run fast enough,
Just to remain where I am.
Getting out seems a phantasm,
A feat afar from a fantasy.
Can I ever lift myself up?

Somebody sold me a system,
Introduced me to somebody,
To whom there is no impossibility.
A celeb in critical cases,
A celebrity who can save anybody,
From even inconceivable condition.
He can lift me up

All He needs to change my fate,
Is to invest, in Him, my faith,
To qualify Him to alter my fortune,
And give me a bright future.

He can break this trap.
Only the Messiah,
The Ancient of Days,
Can set me free.
He can lift me up.

poem by Emmanuel Oduro
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Thigh Way (Song Parody of 'My Way')

to the tune of 'MY Way'

And now, my weigh-ins near
and my poor scale faces destruction
I've cheated, had some LITE beers
then gotten quotes for liposuction

I've eaten way past full
and then had one more for the highway
I've gotten old, I've gotten fat
don't diet my way!

Bagettes, I've had a few, but then again, too few to mention
I love my salty snacks
but that's what gave me hypertension

I planned each 3 course meal
at greasy spoons along the highway
Ive gotten old
I've gotten fat
don't diet my way

Yes there were times when I was blue
Ice cream in quarts, I would go through
but through it all, despite the gout
I'd eat it in, or take it out
I ate it all, - and I'm not tall
don't diet my way

I've lunched, I've wined and dined
I've had my failed attempts at losing
but now my jeans just split
and it no longer seems amusing.

To think I ate it all
and may I say not in a shy way
I've gotten old, I've gotten fat
don't diet my way

For what is a meal without cake for desert
and JOGGING IS DANGEROUS - a guy could get hurt
I ate the foods I truly craved
and never once was fashion's slave
The weight-in shows, I need new clothes
don't diet my way!

poem by John F. McCullagh
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Chaotic brain

What am I thinking about?
What's the fucking sound out?
Lift upside down
She is come to pass

Work is hard
Work is not SEGA

'shut up boy! That's a good idear to chock your head! '

Or you shoot my head
Or you give me novocaine
That I can feel better that to breath the stink air

'am I standing right? '

I can't work it out
I can't work it out
Should I work it out?
I can't work it out
It's 0: 23 now, What's your idear?

'hey man, tell me the nearst bar.'

poem by Old Amsterdam
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Love Your Work

just love your work
and tell you what

the work does
it all for you

just sit there
do not even think
or lift a finger

your work hands
everything to you
in finished forms
perfectly perfect

love your work
and everything is done
without noticing
the existence of time

love your work
the table comes to you
all set and all you have
to do is simply sit,
eat and relax and
wait

kewl.

poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Each of us should take personal responsibility for our diet, and our children's diet, and the government's role should be to make certain it provides the best information possible to help people stay healthy.

quote by James Talent
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I never diet. I smoke. I drink now and then. I never work out.

quote by Naomi Campbell
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Four Letter 'Work' Song

Work me up, work me out, work me flip side down.
Work me here, work me there, work me with renown.
Work me hot, work me greedy,
work me through and through.
Work me to the very marrow,
work me just like I'd work you.
Work me proud, work me late,
work me do not hesitate.
Won't you let me work for you?
Work me til I'm black and blue.
Work me steady, work me needy, work me to a lather.
Work me til my backbone breaks, and the buzzards gather.
Work me in, work me under, work me til I bleed,
Work me over red hot coals, work me like a boss in need.
Work me nasty, work me silly, work me through the clover.
Up down, 'n' in between, into a slipknot sweet Jehovah.
Work me, work me, go ahead.
Work me, work me, til I'm dead.

Buddy Bee Anthony

poem by Buddy Bee Anthony
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Lift Me Up

I dont need your answered prayers
Or the chains your lover wears
I dont need your rings of gold
Or the secrets that you hold
Lift me up, darling
Lift me up and Ill fall with you lift me up
Let your love lift me up
I dont need your sacred vow
Or the promise tomorrow brings
There behind the morning clouds
Ill take the faith the daylight brings
Lift me up, darling
Lift me up, and Ill fall with you lift me up
Let your love lift me up
When the morning bright
Lifts away this night
And the light above
We will find our love, we will find our love
Your skin, your hand upon my neck
This skin, your fingers on my skin
This kiss, this heartbeat this breath
This heart, this heart this wilderness
Lift me up darling
Lift me up and Ill fall with you lift me up
Let your love lift me up

song performed by by Bruce Springsteen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Cancer Can Be Prevented

Cancer can be prevented by eating no meat
protein can come from plants like nuts and beans.
The American public has been misinformed
please read "China Study" which is above the norm.
Colin Campbell does not sell a diet book
he a biochemist scientist with facts so have a look.—
Mr. Campbell went to China, Philippines first hand
he uses findings from real people who couldn't walk or stand.
Starving children he did see—
they set up programs to help feed the needy.
The American diet of fast food chains
has cost Americans dearly so becoming
a vegetarian it's the safest game.

Written by Suzae Chevalier on September 24,2012
www.suzae.com www.suechevalier.com

poem by Suzae Chevalier
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Take Care of Love

Who are your friends in your search for intimacy sublime?
But who are real loved ones needing much more of your time?
When do you check your bank for your supply of funds?
But when do you check your love to see if it still runs?

Where do you store your valuables like diamonds and such?
But where do you keep your love and is there very much?
How often do you service your car to be sure it runs well?
But how often is your service of love just a hollow shell?

How often do you eat a balanced, healthy diet of food?
But how often is your diet of love remorsefully rude?
How often do you take a vacation from your world of spills?
But how often do you spill love and replace it with chills?

How often do you labor hard for that promotion at work?
But how often is your labor of love anything but a shirk?
How often do you look in the mirror and what do you really see?
For happiness, take care of love, and let all other things be!

poem by Gregory Huyette
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Might Have Known

I might have known
said Dotty
I might have known

you were just like
all the rest of men
but

said Brintskin
don't you but me
you slime snake

Mother always said
men weren't
to be trusted

and she was right
I should have listened to her
instead going off with men

at such a young age
but hang on there
Brintskin said

I was getting a lift
in a woman's car
after a hard day's work

sure
Dotty said
sure you were

I know women
and I know men
and what happens

when they get together
and what did she want huh?
want to show you her etchings?

no it wasn't like that at all
she just asked
did I want a lift home

after work and I said yes
Brintskin said
I bet you did

I bet you couldn't
get that word yes out
quick enough

why I bet she had her panties off
before you could blink an eye
and as usual

you had to get
caught out didn't you
and Dotty paused

for a moment
to pour a drink
and sip it

all the while
glaring at Brintskin
and he stared at her

as if she'd changed
into a bullfrog
and then she sighed

and said
well what happened?
nothing happened Sweetie

Brintskin replied
she just offered me
a lift home in her car

and I said yes please
and so she gave me a lift home
Dotty sat down

in the armchair
and crossed her legs
and Brintskin studied her thighs

as the skirt rose up
as she sat down
and Dotty said

ok so maybe I believe you
maybe what you say is true
and I am just getting

the wrong end
of the stick
you sure are

Brintskin said
following the line
of his vision

as far as his eyes
could go
and caught a glimpse

of panty line
whiter than snow.

poem by Terry Collett
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Work!

Work or no luck
If you don't have work
You get killed sitting still
Work or no luck
If you have too much work
You get killed struggling still
Work or no luck
If you finish fast
You get killed killing time
Work or no luck
If you don't finish on time
You get finished on time
Work or no luck
If you do well
You get recognized well
Work or no luck
If you do not do well
You get the pink paper wall
Work or no luck
If you are organized
You finish it on time
Work or no luck
If you are disorganized
You get finished on time
Work or no luck
If you are interested
Toughest becomes easy
Work or no luck
If you are not interested
Easiest thing becomes toughest
Work or no luck
If you are carving
You keep doing it great
Work or no luck
If you are not carving
You keep doing it a trait
Work or no luck
If you have work
You have luck
Work or no luck
If you have work
Still nothing to do
You have no luck
That's the fate of
Work or luck! ! ! !

poem by Umasree Raghunath
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It is unacceptable that someone can work full time - and work hard - and not be able to lift themselves out of poverty.

quote by Sherrod Brown
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fast As You Can

I let the beast in too soon, I dont know how to live
Without my hand on his throat; I fight him always & still
O darling, its so sweet, you think you know how crazy
-how crazy I am
You say you dont spook easy, you wont go, but I know
And I pray that you will
-fast as you can, baby run-free yourself of me
Fast as you can
I may be soft in your palm but Ill soon grow
Hungry for a fight, and I will not let you win
My pretty mouth will frame the phrases that will
Disprove your faith in man
So if you catch me trying to find my way into your
Heart from under your skin
-fast as you can, baby scratch me out, free yourself
Fast as you can
Fast as you can, baby scratch me out, free yourself
Fast as you can
Sometimes my mind dont shake and shift
But most of the time, it does
And I get to the place where Im begging for a lift
Or Ill drown in the wonders and the was
And Ill be your girl, if you say its a gift
And you give me some more of your drugs
Yeah, Ill be your pet, if you just tell me its a gift
Cuz Im tired of whys, choking on whys,
Just need a little because, because
I let the beast in and then;
I even tried forgiving him, but its too soon
So Ill fight again, again, again, again, again.
And for a little while more, Ill soar the
Uneven wind, complain and blame
The sterile land
But if youre getting any bright ideas, quiet dear
Im blooming within
Fast as you can, baby wait watch me, Ill be out
Fast as I can, maybe late but at least about
Fast as you can leave me, let this thing
Run its route
Fast as you can (repeat 4 times)

song performed by by Fiona Apple
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Payment

A tortuous path of neurons arced a call: ‘Awake! ’
I did; in rising, peering, stretching, bearing,
Pained anticipation saw it all:
Foretold, another filthy day.

I drew the drape: diluvian lay the ground
Beneath a lazy leaden cloud – apissing out
The puddles; irksome on the roof –
The drumming drops of bitter glee
Were hounding out a hapless me –
Reinforcing doubt that I am sound.

I left the house
to go to work
to earn a crust
without a perk
then on to bust
another straining vessel.

Trudging on thro’ mud and clay, I pondered:
‘Why a drought of happy times?
Auspicious climes were
Old and fusty books
Atop a dusty shelf
Inside a morgue-of-a-room,
Somewhere in a long-forgotten library
Down a lane without a way.’

I thought again: ‘And still I pay.’

O how I
work work work work work work work work
work work work work work work work work
work work work work work work work work
work work work work work work work work
work work work work work work work work
work work work work work work work work
work work work work work work work work
work work work work work work work work

poem by Mark R Slaughter
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Work, Sleep, Work, Sleep, Work

Work, sleep, work, sleep,
Work, sleep, work, sleep,
Work, sleep, work, sleep,
Work:

Work, sleep, work, sleep,
Work, sleep, work, sleep,
Work, sleep, work, sleep,
Work.

Oh free me please with gentle ease
From work, sleep, work, sleep, work!
This odium, pounding tedium
Of my work, sleep, work, sleep, work.

Just whisk me off to lands afar
From work, sleep, work, sleep, work -
That grinding train of rhythmic pain
Called ‘Work, sleep, work, sleep, work.’

Poor neural circuits fizzle and pop
In work, sleep, work, sleep, work,
In trying to make some sense of all this
Work, sleep, work, sleep, work.

But Hark! I see a golden gleam -
A saving spirit of hope:
‘You’re fired! ’ He screams. What news to bear,
This wondrous hangman’s rope!

So now I’m free, released from all this
Work, sleep, work, sleep, work -
Eternal peace and rest for me, no
Work, sleep, work, sleep, work.