Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
quote by Jim Bishop
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Twenty Million Things
If it's fix a fence, find the dance
I got lots of experience
Read got sped and all the letters
Never written but don't get said
Comes from confusion
All the things I left undone
It comes from moment to moment,
Day to day, time seems to slip away
But I got twenty million things to do
Twenty million things
All I can think about is you
Well, twenty million things,
Twenty million things to do
I got mysterious,
Mysterious hanging in the air
Rocking-chair hast post to fix
Well it came undid and all the things
That I let slip I found out quick
It comes from moment to moment
Day to day and time seems to slip away
But I got twenty million things to do
Twenty million things
All I can think about is you
And twenty million, twenty million things to do
song performed by by Robert Palmer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Sport-in Life
Golf, baseball and girls, scantily clad
Obsessions of mine when just a young lad
Not listed here in order of rank
Baseball came first, to be perfectly frank
Sports took a back seat as time flew on by
To girls, clad or not, to this more mature guy
Baseball and golf, great in their place
They can’t be compared to a females embrace
Now that I’m aged and much more mature
Girls, clad or not, are somewhat obscure
Golf, baseball and girls, scantily clad
Obsessions of mine, I’m glad to have had
poem by Stanley Cooper
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I guess what was going to come back came back on Monday. Of course now I've played a different golf course. I've played two practice rounds and two tournament rounds all kind of the same and now today I've played a different golf course.
quote by Raymond Floyd
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Golf Tees Lament
Golf tees on my dresser
Golf tees in my bed
Golf tees on my pillows
Where they poke me in my head
Golf tees in my closet
Falling from my shirts and pants
Golf tees along the baseboards
Just like army ants
Golf tees in the carpet
And underneath my feet
Golf tees lined up on the mantle
Oh, they look so neat
Golf tees in my couch
And in my back and thighs
When I sit and watch TV
I feel those little guys
Golf tees in the kitchen
In Jurassic coffee mugs
Sometimes when I pass them
They look like prehistoric bugs.
Golf tees in the bathtub
Like sailors on plastic ships
Golf tee in her make-up
Like little bald q-tips.
Golf tees in the attic
Golf tees in the shed
Golf tees, golf tees everywhere
I wonder where they bred?
Golf tees out the backdoor
Like Hansel-and-Gretel’s trails
Golf tees in the flowerbeds
Among the mulch and snails
Golf tees in my car
And underneath the mats
Golf tees in the backseat
Like little baseball bats
But when I am at the golf course
I ask my partner, like a louse…
“May I borrow some of your tees? ”
I left mine at the house!
poem by Larry Buddin
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A lot of my buddies also played golf, but when it came to going to the beach or on the boat and chasing girls, they usually went that way and I went to the golf course.
I never played much golf as a kid. I caddied quite a bit but never got serious into golf until about age 15.
quote by Lee Trevino
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My doctor asked me how many golf balls I had hit in my career. I'm lying there in bed calculating somewhere between four and five million golf balls I had hit to do that on my body.
quote by Greg Norman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Read Your Bible Again
Mongamy or polygamy,
One, two, twenty or more wives!
There are bo scriptural verses that say having another wife is sin;
So read your Bible again.
Almost all the Great Men spoken about in the Bible had many wives,
And no direct speech from any verse spoke against them;
But only the Creator knows why it is so.
Whether you have a wife or many wives,
I am not against you either;
For the truth is always in the Scriptures!
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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We raised almost 2 million dollars at the last golf tournament that can be used for minority scholarships and Junior Golf programs. The payoff for the work we do is so much more valuable than the work we actually do for it.
quote by Darius Rucker
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Twenty years a child; twenty years running wild; twenty years a mature man -- and after that, praying.
Twenty years a child twenty years running wild twenty years a mature man-and after that, praying.
Love - Mad And Mature
Mad love leads to terrorism
Mature love gets to Gandhism
Mad love makes one wicked
Mature love makes life sublime
Mad love kindles body
Mature love ennobles the soul
Mad love binds the spirit
Mature love releases the bond
Mad loves brings pain
Mature love provides pleasure
Mad love breeds acrimony
Mature love brings harmony
Mad love hinders progress
Mature love helps success
Discard mad love, develop mature love
Make life pleasant and world a happy house!
poem by Subbaraman N V
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I have come to understand and appreciate writers much more recently since I started working on a book last fall. Before that, I thought golf writers got up every morning, played a round of golf, had lunch, showed up for our last three holes and then went to dinner.
quote by Phil Mickelson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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IF you remember every word in this book, your memory will have recorded about two million pieces of information: the order in your brain will have increased by about two million units. However, while you have been reading the book, you will have converted at least a thousand calories of ordered energy, in the form of food, into disordered energy, in the form of heat that you lose to the air around you by convection and sweat. This will increase the disorder of the universe by about twenty million million million million units - or about ten million million million times the increase in order in your brain - and that's if you remember everything in this book.
Stephen Hawking in A Brief History of Time
Submitted by Catalin Popescu
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What then is the American, this new man? He is either an European, or the descendant of an European, hence that strange misture of blood, which you will find in no other country. I could point out to you a family whose grandfather was an Englishman, whose wife was Dutch, whose son married a French woman, and whose present four sons have now four wives of different nations. He is an American.
Michel-Guillaume Jean de Crevecoeur in Letters from an American Farmer III: What is an American?
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Both of us played basketball, and I played tennis and my knees are done. Now if you ask us head-to-head who wins at golf, I'm asking for a couple of strokes.
quote by Michael Wilbon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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April 21
I'm a very average person,
and I think most people are.
I vote with the common man.
I have two kids, a boy and a girl.
Last Sunday I played golf with the boss.
Hey, it beats working.
I'm his wife. I may be brainless but
I'm her husband. I played golf with her
Last Sunday I played golf with the boss
and it was the first warm morning in May
and like every other moron driving a lawnmower
I'm their husband. I may be brainless but
I'm their wife. I'm their mother.
I have two kids, a boy and a girl,
and it was the first warm morning in May
and I think most people are
like every other moron driving a lawnmower.
I'm a very average person.
I vote with the common man.
Hey, it beats working.
poem by David Lehman
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The majority of people who buy homes in golf course communities don't play golf. Golf is way down at the bottom in terms of total numbers and growth.
quote by Ed McMahon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A child and a fool imagine twenty shillings and twenty years can never be spent.
Well, I wanted to play twenty years in the major leagues. I never made it twenty though. I played nineteen.
quote by Bert Campaneris
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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