I was never afraid of anything in the world except the dentist.
quote by Taylor Caldwell
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Crocodile's Toothache
Oh the Crocodile
Went to the dentist
And sat down in the chair,
And the dentist said, 'Now tell me, sir,
Why does it hurt and where?'
And the Crocodile said, 'I'll tell you the truth.
I have a terrible ache in my tooth.'
And he opened his jaws so wide, so wide,
That the dentist he climbed right inside,
And the dentist laughed, 'Oh, isn't this fun?'
As he pulled the teeth out, one by one.
And the Crocodile cried, 'You're hurting me so!
Please put down your pliers and let me go.'
But the dentist just laughed with a Ho Ho Ho,
And he said, 'I still have twelve to go --
Oops, that's the wrong one, I confess.
But what's one crocodile's tooth, more or less?'
Then suddenly the jaws went snap,
And the dentist was gone right off the map.
And where he went one could only guess...
To North or South or East or West...
He left no forwarding address.
But what's one dentist more or less?
poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Fundamental of Liar Chapter XCVI: Fear
I don’t afraid of being old, I’m only afraid of being weak
I don’t afraid of being ugly, I’m only afraid of being useless
I don’t afraid of being nameless, I’m only afraid of being not loved
I don’t afraid of being lost, I’m only afraid of being blind
I don’t afraid of being dumb, I’m only afraid of being hopeless
I don’t afraid of being poor, I’m only afraid of being ungrateful
I don’t afraid of being loser, I’m only afraid of being coward
I don’t afraid of being bound, I’m only afraid of being fake
I don’t afraid of being wrong, I’m only afraid of being oblivious
I don’t afraid of being suffered, I’m only afraid of being surrender
I don’t afraid of being alone, I’m only afraid of being bored
I don't afraid of being loss, I'm only afraid of being lied
poem by Maria Sudibyo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A dentist's assistant named Jule
saw a blister appear on his tool.
Said the dentist 'don't fret
it's the girl that you met
from the Queensland Venereal School.'
quote by by Herbert Nehrlich
Submitted by Dan Costinaş
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Im Afraid Of Americans
Johnnys in america, low-techs at the
Wheel
No-one needs anyone, they dont even
Just pretend
Johnnys in america
Im afraid of americans
Im afraid of the world
Im afraid I cant help it
Im afraid I cant
Johnnys in america
Johnny wants a brain, johnny wants to
Suck on a coke
Johnny wants a woman, johnny wants
To think of a joke
Johnnys in america
Im afraid of americans
Im afraid of the world
Im afraid I cant help it
Im afraid I cant
Johnnys in america
Johnnys in america, johnny looks up at
The stars
Johnny combs his hair and johnny
Wants pussy and cars
Johnnys in america
Im afraid of americans
Im afraid of the world
Im afraid I cant help it
Im afraid I cant
Johnnys in america
God is an american
Im afraid of americans
Im afraid of the world
Im afraid I cant help it
Im afraid I cant
Im afraid of americans
Im afraid of the words
Im afraid I cant help it
Im afraid I cant
Johnnys in america
Johnnys in america
song performed by by David Bowie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Theses officers were good friends, so it must have been a terrible argument, because the one who played chess with my father was so angry that he walked over to the dentist's house and got the dentist out of bed and shot him.
quote by Bruno Schulz
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dentist Chair (Fun Poem 99)
Everyone hates the dentist
some much more than me.
Just the thought of the drill
and the light in your eyes
puts the chills up me.
One of my worst encounters
of the dentist chair came in the 1960’s
when a cold in a tooth made my face swell
on one side like a melon
and I could only drink through a straw.
They knocked me out to remove the tooth.
Having no recovery room
they put me back in the waiting room
and sat me in a chair out there.
It was the dawn of the plastic moulded ones
and the one I sat on was so slippery
I kept slipping down.
I mumbled aloud about the dentist being no good.
Some of his patients took one look at me
and decided I was right, then made a hasty exit
from the waiting room.
With the side of my face swollen to the size of a melon
I can understand why.
Another encounter with a dentist
was quite a few years later.
A different dentist with a wholly different approach.
He was having his waiting room decorated
and I was the only one there.
He came in with a Cheshire grin across his face.
“Mr Harris, do you mind if this gentleman
takes out your teeth today? ”
Being I and thinking it was a student,
I said I didn’t mind.
The dentist then said, “He is my interior decorator.”
The smile still implanted on his face.
I nearly ran out of there.
Now the third tale concerns my wife
and she fears the dentist even more than me.
She had an appointment
and when we arrived,
the surgery was closed for lunch.
We went for a little walk
and all the cars we passed had dents in the side.
“See that.” I said.
“Yes.” She replied.
“That’s what the dentist does
when he can’t get his own way.”
As we approached, a corner
there was a church on the other side.
“Why don’t you nip in there for a quick pray
that the dentist doesn’t come back? ”
She thumped me I wonder why.
As we walked back to the surgery I assured her,
that everything was going to be OK.
They calm you as soon as you walk in.
She looked at me suspiciously and asked how?
They have a big mallet just above the door
and bop you on the head as you walk in.
Your teeth fall out in the process
and the job is done.
Now I wonder why she has never asked me
to go to the dentist with her again.
1 April 2009
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Just My Luck (Fun Poem 73)
I went to the dentist
for the first time in twenty years.
Sat in the waiting room
waiting to get my call.
Finally, it came
and I reluctantly went in,
hand shaking and nervous as can be
and was surprised to find
the dentist looked
like she had just walked out of the centrefold
of a Playboy magazine.
She was blonde
and dropp dead gorgeous.
Instead of a man looking like,
he had just walked out of a rugby scrum.
Trust little old me to gets this beauty.
I sat in the chair
took out my false teeth
knowing she wouldn’t want to see them
and opened my mouth wider
so she could have a peek inside.
“I’m going to have to take an X-ray at those.”
“No problem.” I replied.
After the X-rays were taken,
she asked me what pills I was on.
“The one you put in your shoe to make you go limp.”
I replied jokingly.
Sadly she didn’t get the joke I’m afraid.
However, because of the pills, I was on
and the way the tooth
was embedded in my gum.
I have to go to the hospital
to have the darn thing out.
Just my luck.
Here I get the prettiest dentist
to fool around with my teeth
and she then refers me to the hospital.
Doesn’t that just take the cake.
Just my luck.
There is a small consolation when I go.
They will knock me out
and I won’t see who is pulling out my teeth.
25 April 2008
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought 'This is unusual'. And the dentist said to me 'Mr Vine, get out of the filing cabinet.
Put you energy into music. If it fails you, you can become an accountant or a dentist. And then if you become a dentist or an accountant, it's too late to become a musician afterwards.
quote by Peter Tork
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Dentist Appointment
On Thursday morning, I have to see the Dentist;
Cancelling the appointment, I am trying to resist.
I just don't know if I will be able to do it;
I don't know if I can put myself through it.
To help myself relax, and help allay my fears.
I am planning to plug my iPod into my ears
If, with my favourite music, my ears are filled,
It will drown out the sound of the dreaded drill.
Whenever I think about it, I feel extremely tense.
The relief I'll feel, when it's over, will be immense.
In the pit of my stomach, I get bouts of butterflies;
A few times, in secret, I've even had a little cry.
On my last trip to the Dentist, my eyes sprung a leak,
And my fingers gripped tightly to the edge of my seat.
The needle which they use, feels me with such fright,
So I'll lie there tomorrow, and shut my eyes really tight.
On Thursday morning, I'm the first one in the chair;
I'm hoping that this will make it a tad easier to bear.
But what if, the situation, I really just cannot face?
What if, away from the surgery, I then quickly race?
My Dentist does his real best to put me at ease;
He is really friendly, and looks slightly Chinese.
But, if I keep myself calm, and be really brave,
My teeth, my Dentist, will then be able to save.
poem by Angela Wybrow
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Fear Of Dying
I'm not afraid of standing still
I'm just afraid of being bored
I'm not afraid of speaking my mind
I'm just afraid of being ignored
I'm not afraid of feeling
and I'm not afraid of trying
I'm just afraid of losing
And I am afraid of dying
Without you yes I do and I hope that you do too
Without you yes I do
Without you yes I do and I hope that you do too
Without you yes I...
I'm not afraid of being sick
I'm more afraid of being well
I'm not afraid
Put the gun in my hand
I'm just afraid it will hurt like (hurt like) hell
I'm not afraid of screaming
and I'm not afraid of crying
I'm just afraid of forgetting
And I am afraid of dying
Without you yes I do and I hope that you do too
Without you yes I do
Without you yes I do and I hope that you do too
Without you yes I...
Fear of
Fear of
Fear of
Fear of
I'm not afraid of looking ugly
I couldn't care what they say
I'm not afraid of happy endings
I'm just afraid my life won't work that way
I'm not afraid of forgiveness
I absolve you everything
I'm not afraid of lying...
But I am afraid of dying
Without you yes I do and I hope that you do too
Without you yes I do
Without you all I do is sit and think about you
Without you yes I...
song performed by by Jack Off Jill from Clear Hearts Grey Flowers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Cowardice or Intelligence?
I am afraid of the Darkness and the Light,
the Eyes that lurk behind the Trees of Honesty,
waiting to catch our Mistakes.
I am afraid that the End may be near,
that icy fingers will soon wrap around me.
I am afraid that the World will keep turning,
that Life will be allowed to be lived in the Shadows.
I am afraid that nothing is real, that I am a Puppet
being watched by the Children of the Stars.
I am afraid that Life could mean Nothing,
that I am here for Nothing, and will die in Darkness
and simply become part of the Earth for the rest of Eternity.
I am afraid of being Alone in this world,
that the Sky will crash down upon me
once my misery has reached its highest point.
I am afraid of becoming the Forgotten,
of being Remembered only as a civilian passing by.
I am afraid that You are not what You seem,
that You are the Eyes that watch and wait,
hoping that I will make the Mistake.
poem by Zoe Guillory
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I'm Not Afraid Of Live
I am not afraid of life
of the poor man's struggle
of the killer's knife
I am not afraid of life
of an insane rage
of the minimum wage
I am not afraid of life
I am not afraid of life
I am not afraid of life
But I see an old lady with a shopping bag
and I wonder is life a drag
I am not afraid of pain
but it hurts so bad
I feel so mad
no one see the truth
there's nothing to gain
a life goes down the drain
don't want to die at an early age
I am not afraid of life
I am not afraid of life
But I see a street crazy shivering with cold
is it a crime to be old
there's the threat of the nuclear bomb
we know it's wrong
we know it's wrong
is there a chance for peace
will the fighting ever cease
mankind's almost out of luck
a maniac could blow us up
I am not afraid of life
I am not afraid of life
but I get down on my knees and I pray
is there hope for the world today
song performed by by Ramones from Too Tough To Die
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Afraid?
Too many people are afraid to speak.
Is it because they're too damned weak?
Afraid to stand out
afraid to shout
or just plain afraid and meek?
Too many people are afraid to yell.
Is it because they're afraid of hell?
Afraid of the crowd,
afraid to be loud
or just plain afraid of death's knell?
Too many people are afraid to hear.
Is it because of what they fear?
Afraid of the unknown,
afraid to be shown
or just plain afraid of what isn't clear?
Fear, fear
It is always here.
poem by Edwina Reizer
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Im Not Afraid Of Life
I am not afraid of life of the poor
Mans struggle of the killers knife
I am not afraid of life of an insane rage
Of the minimum wage I am not afraid of life
I am not afraid of life
I am not afraid of life
But I see an old lady with a shopping bag
And I wonder is life a drag
I am not afraid of pain but it hurts so bad
I feel so mad no one see the truth theres
Nothing to gain a life goes down the drain
Dont want to die at an early age
I am not afraid of life
I am not afraid of life
But I see a street crazy shivering with
The gold is it a crime to be old
Theres the threat of the nuclear bomb
We know its wrong
We know its wrong
Is there a chance for peace will the fighting
Ever cease. mankinds almot out of luck
A maniac could blow us up
I am not afraid of life
I am not afraid of life
But I get down on my knees and I pray
Is there hope for the world today
song performed by by Ramones
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Cindy Perl, Thanks for Nothing
Thanks for nothing, Cindy Perl.
After five long years of dating-
Movies, concerts, masticating-
You decided David Tepper’s not for you.
You needed one who'd make you smile
And provide for your lifestyle.
So you went and wed a dentist-
Good for you.
All that Tepper’s managed since
is Four Billion more or le$$.
He has a mansion in the Hamptons
by the shore.
Cindy, you backed the wrong horse-
But don’t go getting a divorce.
Your dentist fills your cavities
For you
poem by John F. McCullagh
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Sympathetic Character
I was afraid you'd hit me if i'd spoken up I was
afraid of your physical strength I was afraid
you'd hit below the belt I was afraid of your
sucker punch I was afraid of you reducing me
I was afraid of your alocohol breath I was afraid
of your complete disregard for me I was afraid
of your temper I was afraid of handles being
flown off of I was afraid of holes being punched
into walls I was afraid of your testosterone
I have as much rage as you have
I have as much pain as you do
I've lived as much hell as you have
and i've kept mine bubbling under for you
you were my best friend
you were my lover
you were my mentor
you were my brother
you were my partner
you were my teacher
you were my very own sympathetic character
I was afraid of verbal daggers I was afraid of the
calm before the storm I was afraid for my own
bones I was afraid of your seduction I was afraid
of your coersion I was afraid of your rejection
I was afraid of your intimidation I was afraid of
your punishment I was afraid of your icy silences
I was afraid of your volume I was afraid of your
manipulation I was afraid of your explosions
I have as much rage as you have
I have as much pain as you do
I've lived as much hell as you have
and i've kept mine bubbling under for you
[chorus]
you were my keeper
you were my anchor
you were my family
you were my saviour
and therein lay the issue
and therein lay the problem
song performed by by Alanis Morissette from Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Isolation
People say we got it made
Dont they know were so afraid?
Isolation
Were afraid to be alone
Everybody got to have a home
Isolation
Just a boy and a little girl
Trying to change the whole wide world
Isolation
The world is just a little town
Everybody trying to put us down
Isolation
I dont expect you to understand
After youve caused so much pain
But then again, youre not to blame
Youre just a human, a victim of the insane
Were afraid of everyone
Afraid of the sun
Isolation
The sun will never disappear
But the world may not have many years
Isolation
song performed by by Lennon John
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Truth of Anger
Anger is what you have left when all fear is gone.
Anger is what defines us to others.
Someone who is always angry is a confident person.
That someone isn’t afraid of wrongdoing,
Isn’t afraid of getting in trouble,
Isn’t afraid of others thoughts or judgements.
But mostly isn’t afraid to tell the world what they really think.
And that someone is within us all...
poem by Jackie Beyer
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Beautiful Boys
Youre a beautiful boy,
With all your little toys,
Your eyes have seen the world
Though youre only four years old.
And your tears are streaming
Even when youre smiling,
Please, never be afraid to cry.
Youre a beautiful boy,
With all your little ploys,
Your mind has changed the world.
And youre now forty years old,
You got all you can carry
And still feel somehow empty.
Dont ever be afraid to fly.
All you beautiful boys,
Creating multiple plays.
You like to fence in your world
And settle down when youre old.
You can run from pole to pole
And never scratch your soul.
Dont be afraid to go to hell and back,
Dont be afraid to go to hell and back,
Dont be afraid to be afraid.
song performed by by Yoko Ono
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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