Carrot Top is a nickname that people call me and I thought that it was more marketable.
quote by Carrot Top
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sometimes you have to be careful when selecting a new nickname for yourself. For instance, let's say you have chosen the nickname 'Fly Head'. Normally, you would think that 'Fly Head' would mean a person who had beautiful swept-back features, as if flying though the air. But think again. Couldn't it also mean 'having a head like a fly' I'm afraid some people might actually think that.
Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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X Diary 07 Happy Sam And The Magic Horse
A Children's Tale
Once upon a time
There was a little boy called Happy Sam
Happy Sam lived in a house by a forest
With his mother and his father
And his baby brother
Lucky Peter
One day Happy Sam was walking in the forest
Further from home than he had been before
And he saw –
A HORSE
In the horse’s mouth there was –
A KEY
Happy Sam wanted that key
'HORSE'
Said Happy Sam
'GIVE ME THE KEY'
'Neigh'
Said the horse
Without letting go of the key
Well Happy Sam wanted that key really badly
So he thought
And he thought
And he had -
AN IDEA
Then he ran through the forest
And he ran through the garden
And he ran through the kitchen
And he ran to the refrigerator
And he found -
A CARROT
Then he ran back to the horse
And he said
'HERE HORSE
HAVE A CARROT! '
Well the horse wanted that carrot
So he opened his mouth to get it
And -
HE DROPPED THE KEY
Happy Sam caught the key
And he ran through the forest
And he ran through the garden
And he ran to his family
And he noticed for the first time
That in their hearts there were -
KEYHOLES
And he tried his new key
And he found that it -
JUST FITTED
poem by Stewart McKenzie
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After The County Show
“Hello carrot, my word you do look tasty.”
“Oh, hello knife you too look pretty sharp
a cut above the rest I’d say, but let’s not be too hasty.”
“I say carrot, are you here for today’s county dinner? ”
“No, no not I, I’m a showpiece,
voted best of the show, a gold ribbon winner.”
“I knew you were special, lying next to the sole from Dover,
but surely you must know what you’re doing here
now that the county show is over? ”
“I reckon they want to show me off to all the local villagers.”
“Somehow carrot I think you’d better reckon again,
whilst I slice up the beans and cabbages.”
poem by Orlando Belo
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My Canadian Chronicles 25
For Ray
My friend’s partner Ray
has a hobby
and his collection
has earned him a nickname from it.
He collects Buddha’s
as others would collect books.
A large collection he has
that now people call him
the Buddha man.
16 June 2009
poem by David Harris
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I thought it was pretty good to be mentioned in a big paper, so I decided to keep the nickname.
Carrot before rabbit
Carrot gets value in front of a rabbit
And the rabbit wets its tongue, pursuing.
Once bitten, Carrot loses its value.
The distance generates value and saliva
Woman keeping men at an arm length values
24.03.2002, Pakd
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
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I call it love
Some people call it obsession
I call it love
Some people call it a confession
I call it love
Some people call it torture
I call it love
Some people call it murder
I call it love
Some people call it a new life
I call it love
Some people call it death
I call it love
Some people call it suicide
I call it on love...
poem by Anonymous One
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To offer at no cost
Shown or withdrawn,
The carrot is not eaten.
But only as it is shown
The rabbit is on run
And the carrot, too, is shone.
If you are withdrawn
I would cease to run
And you lose the fun.
Why is this futile act then?
If you shut out
I am done away with.
If you show up
I am enlivened.
In both ways
You’re not broken.
Why not the status quo, then?
27.09.99
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
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Why Didn't You Call Me
We went out one night
Everything went right
We got something started
It was outta sight
We had such a good time
Hey! Why didn't you call me?
I thought I'd see you again
Bt the phone I wait
String into space
Thinking about our first kiss
Out on our first date
We had such a good time
Hey! Why didn't you call me?
I thought I'd see you again
Why don't you call me again?
And I'm gonna ask
When I see you again
Thought you would be my man my lover my friend
I never thought it would end so quickly
It would end
I've resorted to
Hanging up on you
I know you know it's me
How else will I talk to you
We had such a good time
Hey! Why didn't you call me?
I thought I'd see you again
Why don't you call me again?
And I'm gonna ask
When I see you again
Thought you would be my man my lover my friend
I never thought it would end so quickly
We had such a good time
Hey! Why didn't you call me?
I thought I'd see you
I thought I'd see you
I thought I'd see you again
song performed by by Macy Gray from On How Life Is
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My real name is Scott Thompson. I could have gone by that name, but when I started doing comedy I thought I needed to go by something that has a little more of a hook.
quote by Carrot Top
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I always thought marketing in general was an interesting kind of thing. I always liked commercials and billboards.
quote by Carrot Top
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People always want to put a label on you; they always want to compare you to something.
quote by Carrot Top
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My way of making people like me was to make 'em laugh.
quote by Carrot Top
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Chase
Since birth
It's an endless chase.
A carrot was hung before me
And I was made to run.
Run....run......
Surpass others
Make sure you grab it
Before anyone.
The carrot went on
Changing its nature and color
Once you hung it for me
Now see, I have my own.
Once a compulsion
Now an instilled obsession
Drives me hard
Says, run and run.
Dropped humanity
Lost love
Stay behind;
Time for none.
Is it all I am here for?
Bother sometimes
A raising question.
poem by Kingshuk Chakraborty
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Except for Ali, fighters had never been marketable.
quote by Sugar Ray Leonard
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My way of fitting in was through jokes and making people laugh.
quote by Carrot Top
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I think it's the fact that I do something different and that I actually have some success with it. That bothers a lot of people... especially comics.
quote by Carrot Top
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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People do give me a hard time about my hair because it's orange and it's big.
quote by Carrot Top
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It's our nature: Human beings like success but they hate successful people.
quote by Carrot Top
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Follow up the interview with a phone call. If Carrot Top can figure out how to use a phone, so can you.