If my aunt had a beard, this man would be my uncle.
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Maybe! Maybe! Maybe if your aunt had a beard, she'd be your uncle.
quote by Alvah Bessie

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Holidays with the family
Johnny wants a brand new car
Susie wants to hit the bar
Mindy wants to be a star
Cindy just goes too far
I just flew in from mars
Sit at the table and eat some turkey
My family only likes beef jerky
They really are quite quirky
Aunt Jane, she`s just a pain
Uncle Jack just follows the pack
Jim just hits on Kim
Happy holidays to him
Has anyone seen Tim
He`s in the pool taking a swim
Where`s everyone been?
When the tree still needs to be trimmed
Uncle Jerry just farted downwind
Uncle bill drank all the gin
Fat Jim needs to hit the gym
Family dinner with all the winners
Oh boy can`t wait to finish
Before mom starts a fire
No one can extinguish
poem by Joseph Whelan

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If my aunt had been a man, she'd have been my uncle.
If the father marries the aunt, he's an uncle.
Uncle Norm And Aunt Audrey
As a child I remember those days
when Aunt Audrey would come from faraway.
Aunt Audrey was tall and wore jewelry like rings
she brought gifts and interesting things.
Aunt Audrey lived in Japan, the far east
she had an interesting life to say the least.
Her daughters Marlena and Renee
had played with us for a couple of days.
Then they would leave on a plane
I would see them again at an older age.
Uncle Norm I also saw when I was young
we traveled to Rhode Island when I was age 1.
Then I would see Aunt Audrey & Norm
in the Sunshine State—
they lived in a development with wooden gates.
I celebrate Christmas and the holidays
with them, Marlena and Renee.
Celebrate with them on Christmas day
they have children now who live on
the west coast in the Golden State.
Written by Suzae Chevalier on April 9,2012
poem by Christina Sunrise

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Uncle Norm And Aunt Audrey
As a child I remember those days
when Aunt Audrey would come from faraway.
Aunt Audrey was tall and wore jewelry like rings
she brought gifts and interesting things.
Aunt Audrey lived in Japan, the far east
she had an interesting life to say the least.
Her daughters Marlena and Renee
had played with us for a couple of days.
Then they would leave on a plane
I would see them again at an older age.
Uncle Norm I also saw when I was young
we traveled to Rhode Island when I was age 1.
Then I would see Aunt Audrey & Norm
in the sunshine state—
they lived in a development with wooden gates.
I celebrate Christmas and the holidays
with them, Marlena and Renee.
Cousin Marlena and Renee
have children now who live on
the west coast in the Golden State.
Written by Suzae Chevalier on April 9,2012
poem by Suzae Chevalier

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AntEater
'A genuine anteater,'
The pet man told my dad.
Turned out, it was an aunt eater,
And now my uncle's mad!
poem by Sheldon Allan Silverstein

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At My Aunt's Unveiling
AT MY AUNT’S UNVEILING
At my aunt’s unveiling
There were five of us
Only five
One was a woman
A friend of hers
Not the closest one
But someone who knew her
And wanted to be a friend.
Thousands of people had known my aunt
Hundreds had worked with or for her
She was born into a large family
But all of them were gone
Or out of it.
My sister and I were the relatives
My aunt had been very generous to us
And difficult for my sister
Who cared for her.
I had only been a taker all the years.
My aunt worked so hard for so many years
And she was ‘somebody’ in her world
There were five of us there
And the ceremony short
No minyan.
There was no sign of my aunt’s smile
Or her nervous energy or her superabundant love
‘Moll ‘as my mother called her
was not there.
I see her so clearly in my mind now
‘What does it all mean? ’ my father would ask my mother
after reading of the death of another person they knew
‘What does it all mean’
When my sister and I go
The memory of my aunt
Will be gone forever.
poem by Shalom Freedman

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Elegy
I know but will not tell
you, Aunt Irene, why there
are soap suds in the whiskey:
Uncle Robert had to have
A drink while shaving.
poem by Alan Dugan

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Aunt Tabitha
THE YOUNG GIRL'S POEM
WHATEVER I do, and whatever I say,
Aunt Tabitha tells me that is n't the way;
When she was a girl (forty summers ago)
Aunt Tabitha tells me they never did so.
Dear aunt! If I only would take her advice!
But I like my own way, and I find it so nice
And besides, I forget half the things I am told;
But they all will come back to me--when I am old.
If a youth passes by, it may happen, no doubt,
He may chance to look in as I chance to look out;
She would never endure an impertinent stare,--
It is horrid, she says, and I must n't sit there.
A walk in the moonlight has pleasures, I own,
But it is n't quite safe to be walking alone;
So I take a lad's arm,--just for safety, you know,--
But Aunt Tabitha tells me they did n't do so.
How wicked we are, and how good they were then!
They kept at arm's length those detestable men;
What an era of virtue she lived in!--But stay--
Were the men all such rogues in Aunt Tabitha's day?
If the men were so wicked, I 'll ask my papa
How he dared to propose to my darling mamma;
Was he like the rest of them? Goodness! Who knows?
And what shall I say, if a wretch should propose?
I am thinking if Aunt knew so little of sin,
What a wonder Aunt Tabitha's aunt must have been!
And her grand-aunt--it scares me--how shockingly sad
That we girls of to-day are so frightfully bad!
A martyr will save us, and nothing else can;
Let me perish--to rescue some wretched young man!
Though when to the altar a victim I go,
Aunt Tabitha 'll tell me she never did so.
poem by Oliver Wendell Holmes

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Grow Freely
Be it your uncle or aunt,
Your brother or sister.
They won’t give you more
Than you could do to them
When you have sought their shelters.
Seek else where to grow freely.
(20.06.2005)
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar

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Long Tall Sally
(words & music by johnson - penniman - blackwell)
Gonna tell aunt mary bout uncle john
He says he has the blues but
He has a lotta fun
Oh baby, yes baby, whoo-oo-oo-oo baby
Havin some fun tonight yeah well!
Long tall sally has a lot on the ball
And nobody cares if shes long and tall
Oh baby, yes baby, whoo-oo-oo-oo baby,
Im having me some fun tonight
Well, I saw uncle john
With long tall sally
He saw aunt mary comin
And he ducked back in the alley
Oh baby, yes baby, whoo-oo-oo-oo baby
Im havin some fun tonight
Weve gonna have some fun tonight
Gonna have some fun tonight
Were gonna have some fun tonight
Everything will be all right
Were gonna have some fun
Gonna have some fun tonight
song performed by by Elvis Presley

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Our children await Christmas presents like politicians getting in election returns: there's the Uncle Fred precinct and the Aunt Ruth district still to come in.
quote by Marcelene Cox

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Shi'Ann
Man...
I love my greatniece.
One of three sisters,
Born in the middle.
And can be sometimes sweet...
Bossy AND opinionated.
Like her mom and dad,
Grandparents...
T'ana and Allahna too.
We wont include Aunt Shayla...
She of course turns it on at will!
When things are not going the way
As Ms Shay says they should,
She gives us all eyes that can kill!
But my Shi'Ann,
Is the one that fits the bill!
You once asked me one day...
'Uncle Larry, write about me,
And what will you say? '
I will say my greatniece ShiAnn is grand.
She's terrific with a heart of gold!
And what Shi'Ann does...
Will be in the way,
Only Shi'Ann can...
Making sure others obey!
Dedicated:
To my greatniece Shi'Ann Pertillar
'Love you...'
Uncle Larry
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar

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Long Tall Sally
Music :johnson, blackwell
Lyrics:penniman
Gonna tell aunt mary bout uncle john,
He says he has the blues but he has a lotta fun.
Oh baby,
Ye-e-e-eh baby,
Woo-o-o-oh baby,
Havin me some fun tonight.
Well, long tall sally has a lot on the ball
And nobody cares if shes long and tall.
Oh baby,
Ye-e-e-eh baby,
Woo-o-o-oh baby,
Havin me some fun tonight.
Well, I saw uncle john with long tall sally.
He saw aunt mary cummin and he ducked back in the alley.
Oh baby,
Ye-e-e-eh baby,
Woo-o-o-oh baby,
Havin me some fun tonight.
Were gonna have some fun tonight,
Gonna have some fun tonight.
Were gonna have some fun tonight,
Everything will be alright.
Were gonna have some fun,
Gonna have some fun tonight.
Were gonna have some fun tonight,
Gonna have some fun tonight.
Were gonna have some fun tonight,
Everything will be alright.
Were gonna have some fun,
Gonna have some fun tonight.
song performed by by Scorpions

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My, My, My Crazy Family
My mom and dad, russ, and chris.
My step mom and dads, eidy, richard, marty.
My brothers, micheal, bear and joe.
My sisters, big tiff, little tiff, black head lory, red head lory, kim, betty.
My by marriage brothers, duck, and rick.
My by marriage sisters, amanda, stacey, and tammy.
My gram mothers, mama, and nana,
My grandfathers, Pap(Had 4 brothers all 5 of them fought in world war2) , Papa(also fought in world war2) .
My uncles and aunts, uncle david, aunt cathy, aunt carol, aunt edna, ect.
My family is just so huge I can't list them all
Imagine the dating situation.
The pickings get pretty slim.
Especially when my blood line goes to place I don't even know.
But eh I guess that how every family goes.
poem by Ace Of Black Hearts

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Long Tall Sally
Gonna tell aunt mary about uncle john
He says he got the blues but he has a lot of fun
Oh baby,
Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh baby,
Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh baby,
Were having some fun tonight
Well long tall sally has a lot on the ball
And nobody cares if shes short and tall
Oh baby,
Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh baby,
Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh baby,
Were having some fun tonight
Yeah, were having some fun tonight
Yeah, were having some fun tonight
Yeah, were having some fun tonight
Yeah, everythings all right
Yeah, were having some fun,
Were having some fun tonight
Well I saw uncle john with long tall sally
He saw aunt mary coming and he ducked back in the alley
Oh baby,
Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh baby,
Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh baby,
Were having some fun tonight
Yeah, were having some fun tonight
Yeah, were having some fun tonight
Yeah, were having some fun tonight
Yeah, everythings all right
Yeah, were having some fun,
Were having some fun tonight
song performed by by Kinks

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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But one sets of grandparents lived on Davidson Avenue in the Bronx and one lived in Manhattan and I had an aunt and uncle in Queens, so in my heart I was a New Yorker.
quote by Jason Alexander

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Long Tall Sally
Gonna tell aunt mary 'bout uncle john,
He says he has the blues but he has a lotta fun.
Oh baby,
Ye-e-e-eh baby,
Woo-o-o-oh baby,
Havin' me some fun tonight.
Well, long tall sally has a lot on the ball
And nobody cares if she's long and tall.
Oh baby,
Ye-e-e-eh baby,
Woo-o-o-oh baby,
Havin' me some fun tonight.
Well, i saw uncle john with long tall sally.
He saw aunt mary cummin' and he ducked back in the alley.
Oh baby,
Ye-e-e-eh baby,
Woo-o-o-oh baby,
Havin' me some fun tonight.
We're gonna have some fun tonight,
Gonna have some fun tonight.
We're gonna have some fun tonight,
Everything will be alright.
We're gonna have some fun,
Gonna have some fun tonight.
We're gonna have some fun tonight,
Gonna have some fun tonight.
We're gonna have some fun tonight,
Everything will be alright.
We're gonna have some fun,
Gonna have some fun tonight.
song performed by by Beatles

Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Brother! It seems to be an off-season
The magical song birds flew away from the uncle's orchard without informing him.
The trees some were uprooted and old as same as uncle's gray beard.
I remember the bygone days when the fruits were laden and ripen on the tree tops how they danced merrily?
But now no more any singsong or a friendly chat and only you hear is the faint whisper of decaying leaves over his pet dog 'Marco's' silent tomb.
*Hey! My dear friend nothing could be hold firmly as everything disappears like in a sad dream.
This poem is a dedication to my friend George.Murdock in gratitude.
poem by Nimal Dunuhinga

Submitted by Poetry Lover
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