Holidays with the family
Johnny wants a brand new car
Susie wants to hit the bar
Mindy wants to be a star
Cindy just goes too far
I just flew in from mars
Sit at the table and eat some turkey
My family only likes beef jerky
They really are quite quirky
Aunt Jane, she`s just a pain
Uncle Jack just follows the pack
Jim just hits on Kim
Happy holidays to him
Has anyone seen Tim
He`s in the pool taking a swim
Where`s everyone been?
When the tree still needs to be trimmed
Uncle Jerry just farted downwind
Uncle bill drank all the gin
Fat Jim needs to hit the gym
Family dinner with all the winners
Oh boy can`t wait to finish
Before mom starts a fire
No one can extinguish
poem by Joseph Whelan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Uncle Arthur
Strikes the bell for 5 oclock, uncle arthur closes shop
Screws the tops on all the bottles, turns the lights out, locks it up
Climbs across his bike and hes away
Cycles past the gasworks, past the river, down the high street
Back to mother, its another empty day
Uncle arthur likes his mommy
Uncle arthur still reads comics
Uncle arthur follows batman
Round and round the rumours fly, how he ran away from mum
On his 32nd birthday, told her that hed found a chum
Mother cried and raved and yelled and fussed
Arthur left her no illusion, brought the girl round, save confusion
Sally was the real thing, not just lust
Uncle arthur vanished quickly
Uncle arthur and his new bride
Uncle arthur follows sally
Round and round goes arthurs head, hasnt eaten well for days
Little sally may be lovely, but cooking leaves her in a maze
Uncle arthur packed his bags and fled
Back to mother, alls forgiven, serving in the family shop
He gets his pocket money, hes well fed
Uncle arthur past the gasworks
Uncle arthur past the river
Uncle arthur down the high street
Uncle arthur follows mother
song performed by by David Bowie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Uncle is a Soldier
My uncle is a soldier
a soldier of the U.S. Navy Seabees
he helps people day in and day out
to reach their right to be free
My uncle is a soldier
in a poor foreign land
he helps people's villages
with no guns but the strength of his hands
My uncle is a soldier
but much more than that to me
My uncle is a soldier
and a hero to our family
poem by Krystian Huizar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Uncle Toad Said
Uncle toad sittin by the old south gate
Waitin them boys they bin stayin out late
Uncle toad thinks theyre way out of line
Maybe they think he is past his prime
Uncle toad said better straighten up right
When uncle toad spoke it was not a pretty sight
Uncle toad lived in the wood out back
Lived in the shade of a utility shack
He looked in at the big brick housr
At the girls as quiet as a mouse
Uncle toad said you had best get it right
When uncle toad spoke it was not a pretty sight
Uncle toad tucked in the compost pile
Out by the back door look at him smile
He said kid stop drinkin that brew
Plan while ya can or the jokes on you
Uncle toad said better straighten up right
When uncle toad spoke it was not a pretty sight
Uncle toad sittin by the swimmin pool
Sits in the sun when the weather turns cool
Sits in the sun when the girls walk by
Maybe they think hes a little bit sly
Uncle toad said you had best get it right
When uncle toad spoke it was not a pretty sight
Uncle toad sittin by the cool mill race
All day long with a grin on his face
He said boys you had better not try
Kissin em girls cause I wont stand by
Uncle toad sittin by the wrought iron fence
Lookin at the moon like it dont make sense
We say toad heres lookin at you
Hopin you get your wish too
Sway to the left, sway to the right
When uncle toad spoke it was not a pretty sight
song performed by by Gordon Lightfoot
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Uncle Jack
Are you ready for suicide?
Let me run a razor across your throat
You took a child for a ride
Led them down a long and shameful road
It rips my heart out to see you livin
You gave them money in exchange for pain
Youre the monster in the closet
Theyll take your secrets with them to their graves
Locked you away behind cast iron doors
Rather see you dead on the floor
I hope that youre feeling so much pain now
Uncle jack
Can you hear them still screamin?
Broken hearts, broken dreams
Uncle jack
Is your evil still creepin?
Never comin back here again
What were you thinkin, are you human?
Took their innocence and made them slaves
You want forgiveness, youre so sorry
Id rather put you in an unmarked grave
Locked you away behind cast iron doors
Rather see you dead on the floor
I hope that youre feeling so much pain now
Uncle jack
Cant you see them still bleedin?
Broken hearts, broken dreams
Uncle jack
Tell me how are you sleepin
Never comin back here again
Uncle jack
Cant you hear them still screamin?
Broken hearts, broken dreams
Uncle jack
Is your evil still creepin?
Why? tell me why
song performed by by Motley Crue
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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As My Uncle Used To Say
I've thought a power on men and things,
As my uncle ust to say,--
And ef folks don't work as they pray, i jings!
W'y, they ain't no use to pray!
Ef you want somepin', and jes dead-set
A-pleadin' fer it with both eyes wet,
And _tears_ won't bring it, w'y, you try _sweat_,
As my uncle ust to say.
They's some don't know their A, B, Cs,
As my uncle ust to say,
And yit don't waste no candle-grease,
Ner whistle their lives away!
But ef they can't write no book, ner rhyme
No ringin' song fer to last all time,
They can blaze the way fer the march sublime,
As my uncle ust to say.
Whoever's Foreman of all things here,
As my uncle ust to say,
He knows each job 'at we 're best fit fer,
And our round-up, night and day:
And a-sizin' _His_ work, east and west,
And north and south, and worst and best
I ain't got nothin' to suggest,
As my uncle ust to say.
poem by James Whitcomb Riley
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Ballad of Uncle Mukungu
He's my uncle and to my father a brother,
To many a darling or to all and sundry rather;
A pot of knowledge unique, and of humor and quit,
And queer a sight, a wonder as right.
This mine uncle as much do I love,
For he be within and near must cause me to laugh;
And you, liking or not whether,
Never can stand my uncle's weather.
I won't tell all- my uncle's long,
A story you would love as of humor strong;
I will do you a bit, and perhaps a bit more,
Of Mukungu's sweet and sometimes some sore.
At class three a dropout my uncle became,
And thus many had it- uncle has lost his aim;
But no! Who harbored thoughts so was but mistaken,
Listen to Mukungu and your ribs will be shaken.
His talk will behind leave no bit of sagacity,
That bit by bit and all kills ambiance of solemnity;
To imbue the air and emotion with humor high and enough,
To bury hate option and hatch of uncle to love.
Uncle is a guru of eating great,
And many a cuisine none he does hate;
And thus he's indefatigable bull of village,
Cuts through others like a sharpest edge.
Perfect artist he is and scientist as well,
He'll sing a song and tell the stars fell;
He has his language and in he's a virtuoso,
Moreover he acts and he's a star so.
poem by Willy Munyoki
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Me & My Uncle
Me and my uncle went ridin down,
South colorado, west texas bound.
We stopped over in santa fe,
That bein the point just about half way,
And you know it was the hottest part of the day.
I took the horses up to the stall,
Went to the barroom, ordered drinks for all.
Three days in the saddle, you know my body hurt,
It bein summer, I took off my shirt,
And I tried to wash off some of that dusty dirt.
When texas cowboys, theys all around,
With liquor and money, they loaded down.
So soon after payday, know it seemed a shame;
You know my uncle, he starts a friendly game,
High-low jack and the winner take the hand.
My uncle starts winnin; cowboys got sore.
One of them called him, and then two more,
Accused him of cheatin; oh no, it couldnt be.
I know my uncle, hes as honest as me,
And Im as honest as a gamblin man can be.
One of them cowboys, he starts to draw,
And I shot him down, lord he never saw.
Well I grabbed a bottle, cracked him in the jaw,
Shot me another, oh damn he wont grow old.
In the confusion, my uncle grabbed the gold,
And we high-tailed it down to mexico.
I love those cowboys, I love their gold,
I loved my uncle, God rest his soul,
Taught me good, lord, taught me all I know
Taught me so well, I grabbed that gold
And I left his dead ass there by the side of the road.
song performed by by Grateful Dead
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Bond Made In Heaven
we have a unique bond,
strengthened over a period of time,
over four years to be exact.
a gentleman,
an uncle in a million.
a great poet,
a friend,
and an advisor,
I am truly blessed
with the best uncle anyone could wish for
a man of compassion
for whom I have great respect
my uncle dearest
and I his niece
never a word out of place
thank you Uncle dearest
for keeping me in prayers
and always wishing for me the best
poem by Persian Khushi
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Uncle Sam
Here they come again hop scotching up to my door
One by one again knockety knock knocking upon my floor
Swinging on my gate they gain entry by the yard
Pulling at my hair they scream paint your thoughts upon my card
But not tonight Ive got studies to examine
Tomorrow Ill be watching all the queens men
A talent contest on monday with my uncle sam
Who now takes up all of my time he gives me things to do
cause hes a wonderful man
But Im sailing across the sea to see my uncle sam
Im sailing across the sea to be with my uncle sam
To be with my uncle sam
Silly little sniggers from the women liberators
But Ill stand and hold my post
Polished buttons and erect Ill raise the flag
Ill show those women whos the most
But not tonight Ive got studies to examine
Tomorrow Ill be watching all the queens men
A talent contest on monday with my uncle sam
Who now takes up all of my time, gives me things to do
Hes a wonderful man
But Im sailing across the sea to see my uncle sam
Im sailing across the sea to be with my uncle sam
Im sailing across the sea to see my uncle sam
Im sailing across the sea to be with my uncle sam
But not tonight Ive got studies to examine
Tomorrow ah ah ah
And tomorrow Ill be watching all the queens men
A talent contest on monday with my uncle sam
Who now takes up all of my time he gives me things to do
cause hes a wonderful man
Im sailing across the sea to see my uncle sam
Im sailing across the sea to be with my uncle sam
Im sailing across the sea to see my uncle sam
Im sailing across the sea to be with my uncle sam
song performed by by Madness
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Uncle Tom's Cabin
Just for the record let's get the story straight
Me and Uncle Tom were fishin' it was gettin'
Pretty late
Out on a cypress limb above the wishin' well
Where they say it got no bottom say it take
You down to Hell
Over in the bushes and off to the right
Come two men talkin' in the pale moonlight
Sheriff John Brady and Deputy Hedge
Haulin' two limp bodies down to the water's edge
I know a secret down at Uncle Tom's Cabin oh yea
I know a secret that I just can't tell
They didn't see me and Tom in the tree
Neither one believin' what the other could see
Tossed in the bodies let 'em sink on down
To the bottom of the well
Where they'd never be found
I know a secret down at Uncle Tom's cabin oh yea
I know a secret that I just can't tell
I know a secret down at Uncle Tom's Cabin
Know a secret that I just can't tell
I know a secret down at Uncle Tom's Cabin
Know who put the bodies in the wishin' well
Soon as they were gone me & Tom got down
Prayin' real hard that we wouldn't make a sound
Runnin' through the woods back to Uncle Tom's shack
Where the full moon shines through the roof tile cracks
Oh my God Tom who are we gonna tell
The sheriff he belongs in a prison cell
Keep your mouth shut that's what we're gonna do
Unless you wanna wind up in the wishin' well too
I know a secret down at Uncle Tom's Cabin
Know a secret that I just can't tell
I know a secret down at Uncle Tom's Cabin
Know who put the bodies, know who put the bodies
in the wishin' well
song performed by by Warrant
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Uncle Tom's Cabin
Just for the record let's get the story straight
Me and Uncle Tom were fishin' it was gettin'
Pretty late
Out on a cypress limb above the wishin' well
Where they say it got no bottom say it take
You down to Hell
Over in the bushes and off to the right
Come two men talkin' in the pale moonlight
Sheriff John Brady and Deputy Hedge
Haulin' two limp bodies down to the water's edge
I know a secret down at Uncle Tom's Cabin oh yea
I know a secret that I just can't tell
They didn't see me and Tom in the tree
Neither one believin' what the other could see
Tossed in the bodies let 'em sink on down
To the bottom of the well
Where they'd never be found
I know a secret down at Uncle Tom's cabin oh yea
I know a secret that I just can't tell
I know a secret down at Uncle Tom's Cabin
Know a secret that I just can't tell
I know a secret down at Uncle Tom's Cabin
Know who put the bodies in the wishin' well
Soon as they were gone me & Tom got down
Prayin' real hard that we wouldn't make a sound
Runnin' through the woods back to Uncle Tom's shack
Where the full moon shines through the roof tile cracks
Oh my God Tom who are we gonna tell
The sheriff he belongs in a prison cell
Keep your mouth shut that's what we're gonna do
Unless you wanna wind up in the wishin' well too
I know a secret down at Uncle Tom's Cabin
Know a secret that I just can't tell
I know a secret down at Uncle Tom's Cabin
Know who put the bodies, know who put the bodies
in the wishin' well
song performed by by Warrant
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Uncle Gay
I can not say in a way,
That would for anyone be understood.
But I have an uncle named Gayhall,
Who stands for me very tall.
A minister he is,
With a wife Pamela and two adorable kids.
Well...
They are no longer 'kids'.
Two beautiful women I 'should' say.
Nicole and Tiffany...
Each with a uniqueness,
Anyone can see.
Although my Uncle Gay,
Has been sick of late.
I hate the fact that he's like that.
But what can I do,
Besides pray from my Uncle Gay?
I 'see' him getting better,
Each day as I 'visualize'.
I want his health to return to him.
Because he is very special,
In my eyes.
I love my aunts and uncles...
As 'if' they were mine!
And...
Hey,
They are 'mine'!
Well...
Let me define what it is I want God to do!
'God,
I know for a fact...
You are with me all the time!
But...
Will You heal my Uncle Gay?
Right 'now'!
And...
Today! '
Dedicated to:
My Uncle Reverand Gayhall Pertillar.
Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
'Love you, Uncle Gay...
Pam and 'kids'.'
Nephew Larry
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Uncle’s Car Key
A single key in a little bunch
The key to life it is not
So little a key but have this punch
When uncle’s blood is hot.
Some men I know can lend this key
But some are worse to stand
A friend it is that lets me be
But uncle’s spite must land
This key to Golf I turned upwards
And got rains of hot words
My uncle raved and ranted as hell
In words thoughtful as they tell
This his point was stressed again
As the old year passed with glee
My resolution strong and comes like train
To avoid uncle’s car key
poem by Tonimario Onyedika Oboshi
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Uncle Bill
My Uncle Bill! My Uncle Bill!
How doth my heart with anguish thrill!
For he, our chief, our Robin Hood,
Has gone to jail for stealing wood!
With tears and sobs my voice I raise
To celebrate my uncle's praise;
With all my strength, with all my skill,
I'll sing the song of Uncle Bill."
Convivial to the last degree,
An open-hearted sportsman he.
Did midnight howls our slumbers rob,
We said, "It's uncle 'on the job'."
When sounds of fight rang sharply out,
Then Bill was bound to be about,
The foremost figure in "the scrap",
A terror to the local "trap".
To drink, or fight, or maim, or kill,
Came all alike to Uncle Bill.
And when he faced the music's squeak
At Central Court before the beak,
How carefully we sought our fob
To pay his fine of forty bob!
Recall the happy days of yore
When Uncle Bill went forth to war!
When all the street with strife was filled
And both the traps got nearly killed.
When the lone cabman on the stand
was "stoushed" by Bill's unaided hand,
And William mounted, filled with rum,
And drove the cab to kingdom come.
Remember, too, that famous fray
When the "Black-reds", who hold their sway
O'er Surry Hills and Shepherd's Bush,
Descended on the "Liver Push".
Who cheered both parties long and loud?
Who heaved blue metal at the crowd!
And sooled his bulldog, Fighting Bet,
To bite, haphazard, all she met?
And when the mob were lodged in gaol
Who telegraphed to me for bail?
And -- here I think he showed his sense --
Who calmly turned Queen's evidence?"
Enough! I now must end my song,
My needless anguish, why prolong?
From what I've said, you'll own, I'm sure,
That Uncle Bill was pretty "pure",
So, rowdies all, your glasses fill,
And -- drink it standing -- "Uncle Bill"."
poem by Andrew Barton Paterson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Please wait
Please wait
‘O’ Moon,
‘O’ Moon uncle,
Plz give us money and medicine for my mother.
She is ill and on the bed.
Our mama (Maternal uncle) ,
Who is very kind and of helping nature is away from us.
Mother says that you are also our CHANDA Mama (Moon uncle)
So plz give us what ever we need.
The little child was praying to the moon
Who was blooming in the sky?
Her mother told him
‘O’ my child
This Moon uncle is also very kind and generous
And has only coolness and brightness.
He is giving all these things not only to us
also all those who are living on this Earth.
So, plz wait to your Mama (Maternal uncle) .
He will sure come and will give us money and medicine.
poem by Vijay Gupta
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Uncle’s Hat
Uncle’s hat
A black little hat
Thrown by a cat
And left out to be wet
Uncle trembled
And shouted aloud
“Who left my hat
To wet out side
The cat mewed
Uncle fumed
“What a naughty cat”.
poem by Dilipbhasker Mathra
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Me & My Uncle
me and my uncle went a'riden down
From colorado west texas bound
We stopped over in santa fe
The part of being about half way.
Besides it was the hottest part of the day.
We led our ponies into a stall.
Went to a bar, boys.
Bought drinks for all.
Two days in the saddle, my body hurt,
And being summer, took off my shirt,
And tried to wash off some of that dusty dirt.
West texas cowboys, all over town,
With gold and silver, their loaded down.
Just in for round up
You know it seemed a shame
And so my uncle starts a friendly game
Hollow jack, the winner takes the game.
But from the beginning my uncle started to win.
Them texas cowboys they was mad as sin.
Some said he's cheatin'
Ah, but that can't be, because my uncle, well, he's as honest as me.
I'm about as honest as a denver man can be.
One of them cowboys, you know he started to draw.
I grabbed a bottle, slapped him on the jaw.
I had to shoot another now he won't grow old
In the confusion my uncle grabbed the gold.
We hightailed it down to mexico,
Mexico, went down to mexico.
God bless cowboys
God bless gold
God bless my uncle, god rest his soul
He taught me well, boys
He taught me all i know
Taught me so that i grabbed the gold
Left him lying there by the side of the road.
song performed by by John Denver
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Me My Uncle
Me and my uncle went ariden down
From colorado west texas bound
We stopped over in santa fe
The part of being about half way.
Besides it was the hottest part of the day.
We led our ponies into a stall.
Went to a bar, boys.
Bought drinks for all.
Two days in the saddle, my body hurt,
And being summer, took off my shirt,
And tried to wash off some of that dusty dirt.
West texas cowboys, all over town,
With gold and silver, their loaded down.
Just in for round up
You know it seemed a shame
And so my uncle starts a friendly game
Hollow jack, the winner takes the game.
But from the beginning my uncle started to win.
Them texas cowboys they was mad as sin.
Some said hes cheatin
Ah, but that cant be, because my uncle, well, hes as honest as me.
Im about as honest as a denver man can be.
One of them cowboys, you know he started to draw.
I grabbed a bottle, slapped him on the jaw.
I had to shoot another now he wont grow old
In the confusion my uncle grabbed the gold.
We hightailed it down to mexico,
Mexico, went down to mexico.
God bless cowboys
God bless gold
God bless my uncle, God rest his soul
He taught me well, boys
He taught me all I know
Taught me so that I grabbed the gold
Left him lying there by the side of the road.
song performed by by John Denver
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It Was My Uncle Soul Sifting
it was my uncle soul
sifting in a leaned back
all the way chair down
by the old family lake
taking trout we spent
all day chasing through
reeds and lilies, dodging
loons and other birds
trying to outmaneuver
them in their own home
it was my uncle soul
sifting, lifting trout
entrails, rinsing off
blood and fish and dirt
in the cold lake water
telling me it used to
be a game of his, how
many fish he could trick
before the sun set.
it was my uncle soul
sifting, telling me his
favorite night was years
ago and how he had
only caught one lone
rainbow and was
sitting there, gutting
the heart out listening
to the radio the night
Roy Eldridge died.
it was my uncle soul
sifting, saying he forgot
how many fish he caught
just sat there listening
to old dead Roy play
while the fish cooked
over his burnt coal fire
it was the only way he
knew how to say
goodbye he said, and
tonight it’s me out
there soul sifting, lifting
bits of crumbled dirt and
dust, feeling a part of me
is out there still, the
big blue welling up
inside you, the hole
gone and filled up
with sky.
poem by Ben Paynter
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Uncle Dearest
My Guiding Light
Fatherly
Uncle Dearest
My guiding light
Encouraging words
Keeping watchful eye
From distance
Uncle Dearest
Connected not by blood
From motherland
Protecting
Watching my back
Mindful of past experience
An uncle, advisor and friend
In happiness and sorrow
A bond stronger
Acid tongues can't melt away
Talented poet and author
A man of note
Humble and kind
Have my praise
Conversation
Happy laughter in voice
Providing comfort
Though seen only on screen
Concern for well being
Of distant niece
Keeping big bad wolf at bay
No second chance
For their awful schemes
Uncle Dearest
Has eagle's eye
Hugs to my bright guiding light
Uncle Dearest
poem by Persian Khushi
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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