Everyone is their own kind of lesbian. To think there's a certain way to dress or present yourself in the world is just one more stereotype we have to fit into.

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Lesbian Woman-V 1

A rewrite/parody of the classic Pretty Woman

Lesbian woman prowling down your street
Lesbian woman, guaranteed I'm the kind of woman you're like to eat
Lesbian woman, you can believe me
It's the truth
No one could do you as good as me
Mercy


Lesbian woman, won't you come over and please me
Lesbian woman, surely you can't help but see
Lesbian woman, I know you must be as horny as me
So tell me baby
Are you hot and bothered tonight?
Just like me


Lesbian woman, lick me a while
Lesbian woman, rub me down a while
Lesbian woman, give the best of your breasts to me
Lesbian woman, oh oh oh
Lesbian woman, do me that way
Lesbian woman, say you'll spend the night with me


Cause I wanna sex you
I'll love you down right
Just say you'll come with me baby
Be mine tonight


Lesbian woman, don't walk on by
Lesbian woman, don't try to lie or deny
Lesbian woman, don't walk away
Ok


If that's the way you wanna be, ok
I guess I'll find another to take home, give them a red hot date
As for you
Baby you'll have another chance tomorrow night


But wait, what do I see?
Is she walking back to me?
Yeah, my baby is walking back to come onto to me
O-oh
Lesbian woman

2008 Ramona Thompson

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Lesbian Woman V 2

Rewrite/parody of the classic Pretty Woman

Lesbian woman stalkin' down my street
Lesbian woman, get away
You're the not I want to meet
Lesbian woman, I don't want you
Believe me
That's the truth
No one who looks as good as me could ever want someone like you
Mercy


Lesbian woman, won't you get away from me
Lesbian woman, surely you can't help but see
Lesbian woman, I'll make it as plain to you as can be
No matter how hard you try
There will never be a you and me


Lesbian woman, no I don't wanna stop a while
Lesbian woman, no I don't wanna talk a while
Lesbian woman, guaranteed you'll never get an orgasm out of me
Lesbian woman, no, no, no
Lesbian woman, just go away
Lesbian woman, you'll just have to move on and forget about me


'Cause I don't want you
My bible says it ain't right
Come on and understand please that there is no maybe
I really don't wannabe your baby
No, no, no
Lesbian woman, you won't be tappin' mine tonight


Lesbian woman, just walk on by
Lesbian woman, I don't give a damn if you cry
Lesbian woman, just walk away
Ok


That's the way it must be, ok
Go on home, it's late
And don't you dare try again tomorrow night


But wait, what is this I feel
What's happening to me?
Is she turning me on?
Is that what's happening to me?
Yeah, I'm gonna let her give it to me
O-oh
O-oh God forgive me
O-oh
O-oh my
Lesbian woman

2008 Ramona Thompson

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Joan Chen

There are a lot of stereotypes to be broken which I think a lot of us are doing. What I do is, as soon as people try to pin me down to one kind of part, I'll play a very different kind of role, so it explodes that stereotype.

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My mission, I guess, has always been the kind of world where lesbian and gay people can celebrate who we are with equal freedom, dignity, and respect.

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I would like to do another piece of fiction dealing with a number of issues: Lesbian parenting, the 1960's, and interracial relationships in the Lesbian and Gay community.

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I consider myself a lesbian, but I'm a bisexual lesbian.

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Living a Lie

Everyday i wake up lying to myself
Everyday i wake up denying who i am

For the sake of my father
He hates who i am
He hates the fact that i'm a lesbian

But i'm living a lie
I lie to myself everytime i say
That i'm not a lesbian

I'm living a lie
and i can't stand it
It's driving me insane

I wish i could stop lying to myself
I wish he could appcept me

and not just see me for a lesbian,
but for who i really am
but he won't because i'm living a lie
and he doesn't know it

poem by Brandi YoungReport problemRelated quotes
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Oprah Winfrey

I'm not even kind of a lesbian.

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Lesbian humor isn't trying to sell anything, it doesn't have to sell out. Coming out as a lesbian onstage is still a very political act; if it weren't, more women would do it.

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Portait Of Authority

nothing more nothing less
an icon on the wall decoration and
duress
that which many strive to be
its the merble statue standing over me
and nobody has the will to tear it down
it determines wrong and right
but to me its just a stereotype
and it makes us lose our sight
the portait of authority
you tell me
that's what im supposed to be
(it embodies what he cannot be)
another time another man
and oppressive intrusion
and a plague across his land
and it haunts him every day
it tells him he has no chance
his hopes just fade away
and he can't muster the support
and to him it's just a stereotype
of his life-long fight

song performed by by Bad ReligionReport problemRelated quotes
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No Speech

O.k. ready to take off
Do it slow
Im living on the bottom
I got to go
Five little fingers
Grabbing at the glass
Gone, those days
Now Im running
Up and down in my cage
Too late to defend, Im buried - insane
Dont you know theres more to life than to win
Are you that kind of stereotype?
Its no time, theres no time
Theres nothing I could answer
No speech
As long (as) I get nothing
No speech
As long (as) I get nothing
But I want to get home
Let me free, this is not my home
Put away your flashing stick
Dont try to get closer-through my head
Give me a little bit more of your own
A little more, dont wanna be
Anybodys clown
Too late to defend, Im buried - insane
Dont you know theres more to life than to win
Are you that kind of stereotype ?
Its no time, theres no time
Theres nothing I could answer
No speech
As long (as) I get nothing
No speech
As long (as) I get nothing
But I want to get home
Let me free, this is not my home
No speech
As long (as) I get nothing
No speech
As long (as) I get nothing
But I want to get home
Let me free, this is not my home

song performed by by FuelReport problemRelated quotes
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Jacques Prevert

An orange on the table, your dress on the rug, and you in my bed, sweet present of the present, cool of night, warmth of my life.

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Fed On Antiquated Qualities

He is his lover,
Yes.
That she is a lesbian...
No one yet of that has guessed.

Lives lived to be happy,
Isn't for them to confess.
What they have between them,
Is for them that is best.

He sees himself as strong and brave.
And she respects that.
Having her own path to pave.
And both are independent.
Defending the choices they've made.

Emotionally,
They have been freed from sexual conflicts.
To live in a society...
Breast fed on antiquated qualities.
In a world that keeps evolving...
From descriptions that depict,
What is and should not be!

He is his lover,
Yes.
That she is a lesbian...
No one yet of that has guessed.
And fewer today spend their time concerned.
Is this a process of a higher conciousness?
Perhaps that is what we are here to witness,
And learn.

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Stereotype

There is a kind of familiar stereotype
of some people all day following the sun
while their women work, you know the type,
I have seen some people having fun,

believing tomorrow is another day
promoted from tea-lady to director
and to some in the RSA, be that as it may,
but there is another kind of factor.

I have seen a man that breaks the mould
as the best accountant, being totally sharp,
and had to discard all the stories I had been told
as he had wit, was no angel playing a harp,

but he could joke, could deadlines meet;
on the ground had both of his feet.

[Reference: RSA = Republic of South Africa.]

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I think we typically, as Northerners, stereotype what the South is in so many negative ways. We kind of forget all the beautiful things that they contribute to make this country a country.

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I think my election is one of several indications that gay and lesbian folk are being brought more into the center of things. I'd like to think that my election signals my bringing of gay and lesbian folk into the center of the church.

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Steak n Sabre

I was sitting at a table
Down at the steak n sabre
With cain and abel
The circumstance was a different kind of world
We were laughing and drinking
The universe was shrinking
I was thinking, man, thats a different kind of world
Down at the steak n sabre
Like trobarianders
Dont you understand thats a different kind of world
I was swimming in bali
When I got swallowed
By something hollow
We were going down to a different kind of world
Where they talk like plato
And sweet potatoes growing all around in a different kind of world
Right down in the shallows
And the wind it blows
Dont you know thats a different kind of world

song performed by by Frank BlackReport problemRelated quotes
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Michael Stipe

There are people that very strongly identify themselves as gay and then lesbian, and then I think there are a lot of people who are kind of some percentage or some version of that.

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Prejudice and Racism

Prejudice


I don't like him or her or them
because they are
white, black, Asian, European, Middle Eastern,
Jewish, Christian, Muslim, Atheist,
those narrow-minded vegetarians,
and those cruel murderers who eat meat.
Look at those geeks, and nerds, and goths.
Why would anyone want to be emo or scene?
What kind of loser likes classical music and books?
Look at those disgraces to humanity
who have tattoos and piercings.
Look at how fat she is, and how skinny he is!
You jocks and preppy girls, you think you are so good.
Obviously anyone who watches TV or drinks beer is a bum,
and don't you hate those teens always texting on their phones?

People are prejudiced
against everyone and everything,
how you look, and what you do,
whether you are young or old,
male or female, what you believe and what you don't.
And let us not forget those people
who are prejudiced against people
who are prejudiced.

Racism

The blacks
the whites
the Asians
the Indians
the Middle Easterns
the Italians
the Jews
the Mexicans
the Russians
the Chinese
the Japanese
the English
the French

the humans.

No matter where you are from
there are people who will hate you
because of your race and nationality.

You cannot control
where you are born
nor your heritage
any more
than you can control
being a human.

Yet, that does not matter
to the racists.

Why would you judge someone
on such a silly thing?

Does it really make a difference
whether you were born here or there?

Does the color of your skin
affect your mind, heart, or soul?

Do the faults of our ancestors
become our faults?

Perhaps,
perhaps race does matter.
Perhaps someone who is white
is intrinsically different
than someone who is black.
Perhaps all Asians
are different
than Europeans.

It is true,
that certain characteristics
are more common in some races than others -
stereotypes do not form without reason.
Yet even so,
even if a stereotype does apply to a race,
does that make the race good or bad?
And even if a stereotype does apply to a race,
can that stereotype be applied
to every member of the race?

Is not every single person in the world
different and unique?
Can there never be exceptions to rules?
Must you really hate someone
because of where they are from
and who there parents are?

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As a standup, I try to change the world. As an entertainer, I try to entertain. And as a lesbian, I try to pick up the prettiest girl in the room.

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