As a standup, I try to change the world. As an entertainer, I try to entertain. And as a lesbian, I try to pick up the prettiest girl in the room.
quote by Lea DeLaria
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
How Do You Speak To An Angel
A son who is cursed with a harridan mother
Or a weak simpering father at best
Is raised to play out the timeless classical motives
Of filial love and incest
How does he speak to a
How does he speak to the prettiest girl
How does he talk to her
What does he say for an opening line
What does he say if hes shy
What do you do with your pragmatic passions
With your classically neurotic style
How do you deal with your vague self-comprehensions
What do you do when you lie
How do you speak to a
How do you speak to the prettiest girl
How do you speak to her
How do you dance on the head of a pin
When youre on the outside looking in
How do you speak to a
How do you speak to the prettiest girl
How do you speak to a
How do you speak to the prettiest girl
How do you speak to a
How do you speak to the prettiest girl
How do you speak to a
How do you speak to the prettiest girl
How do you speak to a
How do you speak to the prettiest girl
How do you speak to a
How do you speak to the prettiest girl
You just say, hello, (hello) baby (hello)
...
Baby, angel, how do you talk to the prettiest girl, you say
Hello baby, hello baby, angel, angel, pretty little girl
Angel, angel ....
song performed by by Lou Reed
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lesbian Woman V 2
Rewrite/parody of the classic Pretty Woman
Lesbian woman stalkin' down my street
Lesbian woman, get away
You're the not I want to meet
Lesbian woman, I don't want you
Believe me
That's the truth
No one who looks as good as me could ever want someone like you
Mercy
Lesbian woman, won't you get away from me
Lesbian woman, surely you can't help but see
Lesbian woman, I'll make it as plain to you as can be
No matter how hard you try
There will never be a you and me
Lesbian woman, no I don't wanna stop a while
Lesbian woman, no I don't wanna talk a while
Lesbian woman, guaranteed you'll never get an orgasm out of me
Lesbian woman, no, no, no
Lesbian woman, just go away
Lesbian woman, you'll just have to move on and forget about me
'Cause I don't want you
My bible says it ain't right
Come on and understand please that there is no maybe
I really don't wannabe your baby
No, no, no
Lesbian woman, you won't be tappin' mine tonight
Lesbian woman, just walk on by
Lesbian woman, I don't give a damn if you cry
Lesbian woman, just walk away
Ok
That's the way it must be, ok
Go on home, it's late
And don't you dare try again tomorrow night
But wait, what is this I feel
What's happening to me?
Is she turning me on?
Is that what's happening to me?
Yeah, I'm gonna let her give it to me
O-oh
O-oh God forgive me
O-oh
O-oh my
Lesbian woman
2008 Ramona Thompson
poem by Ramona Thompson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Lesbian Woman-V 1
A rewrite/parody of the classic Pretty Woman
Lesbian woman prowling down your street
Lesbian woman, guaranteed I'm the kind of woman you're like to eat
Lesbian woman, you can believe me
It's the truth
No one could do you as good as me
Mercy
Lesbian woman, won't you come over and please me
Lesbian woman, surely you can't help but see
Lesbian woman, I know you must be as horny as me
So tell me baby
Are you hot and bothered tonight?
Just like me
Lesbian woman, lick me a while
Lesbian woman, rub me down a while
Lesbian woman, give the best of your breasts to me
Lesbian woman, oh oh oh
Lesbian woman, do me that way
Lesbian woman, say you'll spend the night with me
Cause I wanna sex you
I'll love you down right
Just say you'll come with me baby
Be mine tonight
Lesbian woman, don't walk on by
Lesbian woman, don't try to lie or deny
Lesbian woman, don't walk away
Ok
If that's the way you wanna be, ok
I guess I'll find another to take home, give them a red hot date
As for you
Baby you'll have another chance tomorrow night
But wait, what do I see?
Is she walking back to me?
Yeah, my baby is walking back to come onto to me
O-oh
Lesbian woman
2008 Ramona Thompson
poem by Ramona Thompson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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God forbid you be an ugly girl, 'course too pretty is also your doom, 'cause everyone harbors a secret hatred for the prettiest girl in the room.
quote by Ani DiFranco
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Around The World
Boy and girl fall in love
Dreamin under stars above
Meanwhile push comes to shove
Around the world.
Leaders fall, leaders rise
Terror wears a thin disguise
Not much room for compromise
Around the world.
Surfers from seven seas
Sharing with the submarines
Experts count war machines
Around the world.
People sweat in planted fields
Students study what is real
Someone builds a laser shield
Around the world.
Fashion change, style change
Fashion change, style change
Fashion change, style change.
Hey! whats that you got on?
Youre sure looking good tonight!
Whered you pick that up anyway?
Wow! youre looking beautiful!
Hey! you are somethin else tonight, so skin tight.
Yeah! come on, lets go out! come on!
Why do we have to hate
Why do we incinerate
Why dont we illuminate
Around the world.
Why dont we illuminate
Why dont we illuminate
Around the world.
song performed by by Neil Young
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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It's about the music and that's it. I'm not an entertainer. But I do entertain people, see what I mean?
quote by Liam Gallagher
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Snow Girl
Snow girl
Snowy girl
Wont you take me down
Because Im coming down
But is there anything there
Everything there
Everything happy with
My little snow girl
Snowy girl
I pick up the picture of you
You pick up the picture of me
I pick up the picture of you
Wont you take me down
I need to be your clown, yeah
But is there anything wrong
Weathers all gone
Anyone listening to my little snow girl
Snowy girl
Everything pretty
Everything pale
Every little touch of a rose in the mail
Only one girl, shes laying in the snow
Let me have a lean on your little elbow
When we kiss, we kiss with laughter
Snow girl
Snow girl
Snowy girl
I pick up the picture of you
You pick up the picture of me
I pick up the picture of you
You pick up the picture of me
Yeah
song performed by by Haircut 100
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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We Are Here To Change The World
(from captain eo)
Were on a mission
In the everlasting light that shines
A revelation
Of the truth in chapters of our minds
So long, bad times
Were gonna shake it up and break it up
Were sharing light brighter than the sun
Hello , good times
Were here to simulate, eliminate
An congregate, illuminate
(we are here to change the world)
Gonna change the world, hee
(we are here to change the world)
Gonna change the world, ooo
So do surrender
cause the powers deep inside my soul
Sing it
(we are here to change the world)
Gonna change the world, sing it
(we are here to change the world)
Hee, gonna change the world, ooo
(we are here to change the world)
Were gonna change the world, girl
(we are here to change the world)
My brothers my brother na
Were gonna change the world
(we are here to change the world)
Hee, deep down in my body,
Deep down in my soul, baby
(we are here to change the world)
Hee, were gonna change the world,
Ooo
song performed by by Michael Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I would call it a comedy variety show. We have some people just doing straight standup. We usually try to have one musical act of sort. So its just people being funny in different ways, not just sketch, not just standup, not just characters, all of those things.
quote by Todd Barry
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Sunday Girl
paints her sky light tangerine,
maple laughter evergreen,
frustrated, it's only believing,
and she knows who mind she blows
come on sunday girl
u'll never change the world
leave it girl let's go
guess the flowers know her name
brightest angels placed to shame
must hate her, she had them believing
and she knows wherever she blows
come on sunday girl
u'll never change the world
leave it girl let's go
keeps me high on her shelf
treats me like no one else
she wants me to fly
but i fall, and i fall
and i thought, i thought i had it all
come on sunday girl
u'll never change the world
leave it girl let's go!!
carl bell
song performed by by Fuel
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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When you turn professional, you become an entertainer, and like every other entertainer, you don't want to get a bad review.
quote by Scott Hamilton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Cher wanted to be an entertainer more than I've seen anybody want to be an entertainer in my life.
quote by Sonny Bono
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My life is as an artist, not an entertainer. I don't consider myself an entertainer, but I can do that thing when I want to.
quote by Dan Fogelberg
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Girl Like Me
A girl like me will make your world better
A girl like me will make you happy
A girl like me will make you smile everyday.
A girl like me will surround only you in my world
A girl like me will make you laugh nonstop
A girl like me will make time for you.
A girl like me will sit and listen to your words
A girl like me will not play games with you or your heart
A girl like me will always be true to you.
A girl like me will talk to you all night
A girl like me will be the one you can count on to be there for you
A girl like me will always be down for you no matter what.
A girl like me will be the one you can put your trust in
A girl like me will make you my whole world
A girl like me will give you everything I possibly can.
A girl like me needs a king
A girl like me could be your queen
A girl like me could be your everything.
A girl like me will let you have fun
A girl like me will lay with you and just smile
A girl like me will be the one you can just hang out with.
A girl like me will be the one to hold you at night
A girl like me will be the one you can fall asleep with
A girl like me will make you see what's on the brighter side.
A girl like me will keep you outta trouble
A girl like me will be there when no one else will
A girl like me will be the one you can open up to.
A girl like me could be your world that you have been looking for
A girl like me could be right in front of you
A girl like me could be the one you need to survive this life.
A girl like me is me
There is no other girl like me
Take me to be yours and get all of the above.
poem by Kimberly Santistevan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Don't Little Girl
Don’t fall little girl
Don’t let them see you cry
Stand tall little girl
Keep your head held high
~
Don’t express little girl
Don’t let them see the pain in your eyes
Walk on little girl
Walk through all those pitiful lies
~
Don’t forget little girl
Don’t let them do it to you once more
Protect yourself little girl
There’s plenty more in store
~
Don’t hate little girl
That’s what they want you to do
Smile bright little girl
Try you’re hardest to be true
~
Don’t wait little girl
The world will move on without you
Move on little girl
Do what you need to do
~
Don’t look back little girl
You cant change your past
Open your eyes little girl
Enjoy the world while it lasts
~
Live life little girl
Cause you only got one
Laugh loudly little girl
And put down you damn gun
~
You’re me little girl
Haven’t we learned a lot?
But your also them little girl
In each of us you have fought
~
Some call you hope, little girl
You glow dim then turn bright
Some call you dreams, little girl
Thinking of you every night
~
But to me, little girl
You will always just be me
Guide us, little girl
Cause we both just want to be free
poem by Amy Stuart
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Dont Change On Me
Girl, youre my sunshine,
Take away the raindrops,
You make it all worthwhile,
Make all the pain stop.
Just like a river,
Keep love flowin,
Dont let our world stop,
Gotta keep it goin.
Well, I love you just the way you are,
Honey, dont change on me,
Dont change on me,
Dont change on me, yeah.
Girl, youre my lucky star,
Honey, dont change on me,
Dont change on me,
I said, dont ya change on me.
I used to wonder
Where would I ever find
A-some kinda happiness and peace of mind.
I was lured by the darkness,
And then you came,
Bringin the sunshine,
Easin the pain.
I love ya just the way you are,
Honey, dont change on me,
Dont change on me,
I said, dont change on me.
Girl,
Girl, youre my lucky star,
Honey, dont change on me,
Dont change on me,
Lord, dont ya change on me.
If theres a heaven,
Then this is my prayer,
I wanna know,
I wanna know if we will meet there,
And there forever
[wont] get together
In the sunshine,
No more stormy weather.
Well, I love ya just the way you are,
Honey, dont change on me,
Dont you change on me,
Dont you change on me.
Girl,
Girl, youre my lucky star,
Baby, dont change on me,
Dont change on me,
Dont ya change.
I love ya
Just the way you are,
I love ya just the way you are,
Love ya just the way you are.
Girl, youre my lucky star,
Dont change on me,
Yeah, dont change on me.
[yeah, I dont know, a little bit out.] spoken at end
song performed by by Van Morrison
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hello It's Me
Hello, it's me,
I've thought about us for a long, long time
Maybe I think too much but something's wrong
Something's here that doesn't last too long.
Maybe I shouldn't think of you as mine.
Seeing you,seeing anyone as much as I do you,
I take for granted that you're always there,
I take for granted that you just don't care.
Sometimes I can't help seeing all the way through,baby.
It's important to me
that you know you are free
Cause I never want to make you change for me, babe (don't change, don't change)
No, I wouldn't change you, change you for the world (don't change, don't change)
No, don't change, girl (don't change, don't change)
Stay as sweet as you are (don't change, don't change)
But one thing I want you to do is,
Think of me, think of me, yeah
You know I'd be with you if I could,
Come around and see you once in a while,
If you ever need a reason to smile,
I'd spend the night if you think I should.
It's important to me
that you know you are free
Cause I never want to make you change for me
And I'll come around and see you once in a while,
If you ever need a reason to smile,
I'd spend the night if you think I should.
Just don't change, girl (don't change, don't change)
song performed by by Isley Brothers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Wasp Man
Under my thumb's the girl who once had me down
Under my thumb's the girl who once pushed me around
It's down to me, the diff'rence in the clothes she wears
It's down to me, the change has come, she's under my thumb
Under my thumb's a squirming dog who's just had her day
Under my thumb's a girl who has just changed her ways
It's down to me, the way she does what she's told
It's down to me, the change has come, she's under my thumb
Under my thumb's a Siamese cat of a girl
Under my thumb she's the sweetest pet in the world
It's down to me, the way she does what she's told
It's down to me, the change has come, she's under my thumb
Under my thumb her eyes are just kept to herself
Under my thumb, well, I can still look at someone else
It's down to me, the way she talks when she's spoken to
It's down to me, the change has come, she's under my thumb
song performed by by Who
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Coke
Says she's got another life
That I am living in my friend
Through and through she says
It's nothing I can change
I always was the one
The celebration ends without a sound
And the friends they're not around
And you find you're all alone
Talking to yourself again
You promised it's the end
Just one night you'll be fine
Cause in the end the dreams you dream
Are all you ever were
Says she's got another life
That I am living in my friend
Through and through she says
It's nothing I can change
I always was the one
And she'll say
Come on I'd like to buy the world a coke
And lie here naked with my girl
Come on I'd like to buy the world a coke
And lie here naked with my girl
The lights dim once again someday I'll sleep
Cause it's all the same to me
This tiny voice inside my head keeps me awake
Come on let's find the cure
Come on let's die until we live
In the end you'll find how high you climbed
There's no design to ever bring you down
Says she's got another life
That I am living in my friend
Through and through she says
It's nothing I can change
I always was the one
And I'll say
Come on I'd like to buy the world a coke
And lie here naked with my girl
Come on I'd like to buy the world a coke
And lie here naked with my girl
And she knows
I gotta buy the world a coke
I gotta buy the world a coke
And lie here naked with my girl
And she knows
song performed by by Flickerstick from Welcoming Home The Astronauts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Don’t Little Girl
Don’t fall little girl
Don’t let them see you cry
Stand tall little girl
Keep your head held high
-
Don’t express little girl
Don’t let them see the pain in your eyes
Walk on little girl
Walk through all those pitiful lies
-
Don’t forget little girl
Don’t let them do it to you once more
Protect yourself little girl
There’s plenty more in store
-
Don’t hate little girl
That’s what they want you to do, they want to break you
Smile bright little girl, show them up
Try you’re hardest to be true
-
Don’t wait little girl
The world will move on without you
Move on little girl
Do what you need to do
-
Don’t look back little girl
You can’t change your past
Open your eyes little girl
Enjoy the world while it lasts
-
Live life little girl
Cause you only got one
Laugh loudly little girl
-
You’re you little girl
Haven’t you learned a lot?
But you’re also them little girl
In each of us you have fought
-
Some call you hope, little girl
You glow dim then turn bright
Some call you dreams, little girl
I know you are my dreams, I think of you every night
-
But to me, little girl
You will always just be mine
Guide us, little girl
Cause we both just want to be free
poem by Max Parriott
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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