Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
quote by George Carlin
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Im So Stupid
cause I used to live
In a fuzzy dream
And I wanted to be
Like all the pretty people
Im so stupid
cause I used to live
In a fuzzy dream
And I used to believe
In a pretty pictures
That were all around me
But now I know for sure
That I was stupid
Chorus:
Please dont try to tempt me
It was just greed
And it wont protect me
Dont want my dreams
Adding up to nothing
I was just looking for
Everybodys looking for something
Im so stupid
cause I used to live
In a tiny bubble
And I wanted to be
Like all the pretty people
That were all around me
But now I know for sure
That I was stupid
Stupider than stupid
Stupider than stupid
Stupider than stupid
(chorus)
Everybodys looking for something
Everybodys stupid stupid
Everybodys looking for something
Everybodys stupid stupid
Everybodys looking for something
Everybodys stupid stupid
Everybodys looking for something
Everybody, everybody
(chorus)
song performed by by Madonna
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Average Guy
I aint no christian or no born again saint
I aint no cowboy or marxist d.a.
I aint no criminal or reverend cripple from the right
I am just your average guy, trying to do whats right
Im just your average guy
An average guy
I am just your average guy
Im just an average guy
Average guy, Im just your average guy
Im average looking and Im average inside
Im an average lover and I live in an average place
You wouldnt know me if you met me face to face
Im just your average guy
Average guy
Average guy
Im just an average guy
I worry about money and taxes and such
I worry that my livers big and it hurts to the touch
I worry about my health and bowels
And the crime waves in the street
Im really just your average guy
Trying to stand on his own two feet
Im just your average guy
Im just your average guy
Im just your average guy
Average guy
Average looks, average taste
Average height, an average waist
Average in everything I do
My temperature is 98.2
Im just your average guy
An average guy
Average guy
Im just an average guy
Average guy
Im just your average guy
Im just your average guy
Im just your average guy
Average
song performed by by Lou Reed
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Peter Patter...
i must not be stupid enough to know that
i am stupid but stupid or not i must realize
that stupidity is not that stupid
sometimes it has flashes of wisdom
wears its whiskers
smokes pipes and
wipes that stupid look that makes other wonder
it is just the look?
or the spook?
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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To realize the value
To realize the value of a sister ask someone who doesn't have one...To realize the value of ten years ask a newly divorced couple... To realize the value of four years ask a graduate...To realize the value of one year ask a student who has failed the final exam...To realize the value of nine months who gave birth to a still born...To realize the value of one week ask an editor of a weekly newspaper...To realize the value of one minute ask a person who has missed the train, bus, or plane...To realize the value of one second ask a person who has survived an accident...time waits for no one, treasure it even more when you share it with someone special...To realize the value of a friend or family member >Lose One...
poem by Jessica Cheng
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It takes a real storm in the average person's life to make him realize how much worrying he has done over the squalls.
quote by Bruce Barton
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The average dog is a nicer person than the average person.
quote by Andrew A. Rooney
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More then friends
Confusion is stupid,
Love is stupider,
And friends is stupidest.
I want to be,
More then friends,
Do you understand?
poem by Dragon Crenshaw
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Stupid
So sad to hear that you dont want to hang around with me
So lame to see you leave and to know that you believe that its over
Cause when your weak I feel the need to get underneith your skin
And when you start to tweak I find a way to get up beside you
Stupid, stupid, stupid
Stupid, stupid, stupid
In time youll learn to love me as much as you love yourself
Oh in time youll learn to hate me
Cause when I feel the need to have you back by my side
I am sweet it makes me sick to know that I can be so blind
Stupid, stupid, stupid
Stupid, stupid, stupid
Stupid, stupid, stupid
Stupid, stupid, stupid
song performed by by Oleander
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I always felt good about myself. I was just an average person. I always felt I could do anything anyone else could. If an average person makes up their mind to do something, they can.
quote by Larry Holmes
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I talked about becoming stupid, but I've always been stupid. Fortunately I've been just smart enough to realize that I'm stupid.
quote by Larry Wall
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I've always said when I broke in I was an average player. I had an average arm, average speed and definitely an average bat. I am still average in all of those.
quote by Brooks Robinson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Stupid
Honestly, I like the word
Stupid,
I like you calling me
Stupid
In all the stupid things
That you think
I do
Which I think are
Stupid too,
Stupid!
Stupid makes me feel
That I am
Non-stupid
That I am nobody
That I am not
Like you calling me
Stupid
That I am not like you
That I am not
Alone
That I have no reason
To be sad
That confusion is not
A disease
That we all belong to one
Beautiful world
Stupid!
That is enough
Heaven for me.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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STUPID PEOPLE...by Talile Ali
STUPID PEOPLE EVERYWHERE
STUPID PEOPLE WITHOUT A CARE
STUPID PEOPLE WANNA SHARE
STUPID PEOPLE IN MY HAIR
IM IN THE UNITED STATES OF STUPID PEOPLE
STUPID PEOPLE ALL THEY WROTE
STUPID PEOPLE WHO THEY QUOTE
STUPID PEOPLE GET AROUND
STUPID PEOPLE THAT I FOUND
I'M IN THE SQUALLER AND THE WIT OF STUPID PEOPLE
STUPID PEOPLE SO I SWEAR
STUPID PEOPLE I DON'T DARE
STUPID PEOPLE ALL AROUND
STUPID PEOPLE LOST AND FOUND
CAN I GET A BREAK FROM BEING AROUND YOU
STUPID PEOPLE
poem by Talile Ali
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Stupid Cupid
stupid cupid
on that stupid day
hits my stupid heart
with his stupid arrow
stupid blood flows
from my stupid heart
and you are there
stupid enough to
just watch me
on that stupid day
i fall in love with you
and so stupid enough
i never tell you
and you are there
on that stupid day
watching me
and stupid enough
you love me too
but never tell me
stupid day stupid love
stupid cupid stupid us
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Corpus Delicti
More germs are transferred
While shaking hands
Than are transferred during
Heavy passionate kissing
So if you don’t grab the hand
Of The next person you meet
And just kiss them instead,
just think of all the germs you’ll be missing
On average, women say
seven thousand words every day
while two thousand words
most men utter
That could be because
Women rarely pause
While most men’s minds
Are most oft in the gutter
The human eye blinks about
Twenty nine times a minute
That’s if your talking to
Your everyday schnook
Women blink about Four times a minute
When reading their average book
A man’s blinks can slow to one blink in ten minutes
While giving playboy a long leering look
There are approximately 550 hairs in one eyebrow
Humans lose 40-100 strands of hair each day
Men usually have full eyebrows and eyelashes
While their heads look like eggs in an unhairy way
The jawbone is the hardest bone in your body
the tongue is the muscle that’s the strongest
The average person spends 1/3 of their lifetime sleeping
And teenagers usually sleep the longest
A person in their lifetime will drink 16,000 gallons of water
While 10,000 gallons of saliva will go down
It only takes 17 muscles to make up a smile
While it takes 43 muscles to frown
In a lifetime the average person sheds 40 lbs of skin
100 mph plus is the speed of a sneeze
And your liver performs 500 functions within
Yet no one has yet timed the speed of a wheeze
The Human brain is composed of 75% liquid
The average man consumes 10 liters of alcohol a year
That’s why the average man is stupid and insipid
Because the other 25% is composed of beer
Humans share 98% of their DNA with monkeys
It takes chimps and us six months to grow nails
And if that comparison makes you feel kind’a funky
We also share 70% of our DNA with snails
The human brain uses 20% of the bodies energy
But is only 2% of the body’s weight
There’s a few more interesting parts of the human anatomy
But the facts about them are too titillating to relate
poem by David Whalen
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If a speculator is correct half of the time, he is hitting a good average. Even being right 3 or 4 times out of 10 should yield a person a fortune if he has the sense to cut his losses quickly on the ventures where he is wrong.
quote by Bernard Baruch
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Average Person
Look at the average person
Speak to the man in the street
Can you imagine the first one youd meet?
Well, Im talking to a former engine driver
Trying to find out what he used to do
Tells me that he always kept his engine
Spit and polished up as good as new
But he said his only great ambition
Was to work with lions in a zoo
Oh to work with lions in a zoo
Yes dear, you heard right
Told me his ambition was to work with lions every night
Look at the average person
Speak to the man on the beat
Can you imagine the first one youd meet?
Well, I met a woman working as a waitress
I asked exactly what it was she did
Said she worked the summer crowd at seasides
Winter time she ran away and hid
Once she had a hollywood audition
But the part was given to a kid
Yes,the part was given to a kid
Yes sir, you heard it right
Hollywood ambition made a starlet grown up overnight
Well I bumped into a man whod been a boxer
Asked him what had been his greatest night
He looked into the corners of his memory
Searching for a picture of the fight
But he said he always had a feeling
That he lacked a little extra height
(could have used a little extra height)
Yes mate, you heard right
He always had a feeling that he might have lacked a little height
Look at the average person
Speak to the man in the queue
Can you imagine the first one is you?
Look at the average person.
song performed by by Paul McCartney
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Animals in Clothes
Animals in clothes I see
Driving cars or sipping tea
Animals in clothes I see
But they don't know what they are
These animals that drive a car?
Dress in clothes?
Sip the tea?
Just like you
Just like me
Very clever animals they'd be!
But they don't know what they are
These animals that drive a car
Dress in clothes
Sip the tea
Just like you
Just like me
So truly stupid animals they be
Not to realize what they are
Just because they drive a car
Sip the tea
Just like you
Just like me
Oh what stupid things we be
Not to realize what we are
Just because we drive a car
Dress in clothes
Sip the tea
So g-r-a-c-i-o-u-s-l-y!
You and Me
Oh what stupid things we are
Not to realize what we be
Animals that drive a car
Dress in clothes
Sip the tea
You and me
For if Mr Piggy had our brain
Ten fingers
Clothes, and a name
Wouldn't he be just the same?
1986
poem by Egal Bohen
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The Ballade Of The Average Reader
I try to touch the public taste,
For thus I earn my daily bread.
I try to write what folks will paste
In scrap books after I am dead.
By Public Craving I am led.
(I' sooth, a most despotic leader)
Yet, though I write for Tom and Ned,
I've never seen an average reader.
The Editor is good and chaste,
But says: (Above the public's head;
This is _too_ good; 'twill go to waste.
Write something commonplacer-
Ed.)
Write for the average reader, fed
By pre-digested near-food's feeder,
But though my high ideals have fled,
I've never _seen_ an average reader.
How many lines have been erased!
How many fancies have been shed!
How many failures might be traced
To this-this average-reader dread!
I've seen an average single bed;
I've seen an average garden-weeder;
I've seen an average cotton thread-
I've _never_ seen an average _reader_.
L'ENVOI
Most read of readers, if you've read
The works of any old succeeder,
You know that he, too, must have said:
'I've never seen an Average Reader.'
poem by Franklin P. Adams
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Extraordinary
You think that I go home at night
Take off my clothes, turn out the lights
But I burn letters that I write
To you, to make you love me
Yeah, I'd drive naked through the park
And run the stop sign in the dark
Stand in the street, yell out my heart
To you, to make you love me
I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
You may not believe in me
But I believe in you
So I still take the trash out
Does that make me too normal for you?
So dig a little deeper, cause
You still don't get it yet
See me lickin' my lips, need a primitive fix
And I'll make, I'll make you love me
I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
See me jump through hoops for you
You stand there watching me performing
What exactly do you do?
Have you ever thought it's you that's boring?
Who the hell are you?
I am extraordinary, if you'd ever get to know me
I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
Average every day sane psycho
Supergoddess
Average every day sane psycho
Average every day sane psycho
song performed by by Liz Phair
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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