God's Sense of Humor
God has a sense of humor and
If you have time I have a tale.
In military basic training land
The youngsters - not always young -
Always come to chapel..
It is the only place where they are free
Loosed temporarily from the fetters of their captivity.
Basic is a place of pressure and of pain
Access to the military a goal to be gained.
The process lasts about twelve weeks
Twelve being the number choosen by our greatest teacher.
One Christmas eve with help from wife
Her intent being to help ease my preaching strife
A great sermon was spoken to the uniformed throng
Their attentiveness told me absolutely nothing was wrong.
A great sermon preached to a sea of faces
A little less pain in one of God's strange places.
But the best was yet to be
For God's sense of humor held a gift for me
That in that night of greatest pastoral power
A goal of rich adolescent vision had come to flower.
poem by Bill Grace
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Related quotes
Tale of a Once Upon a Time Christmas Gift for Me from the Deity
God has a sense of humor and
If you have time I have a tale.
In military basic training land
The youngsters - not always young - always come to chapel.
It is the only place where they are free
Loosed temporarily from the fetters of their captivity
It is a place of pressure and of pain
This military basic training lane
Access to the military the goal to be gained.
The process lasts about twelve weeks
Twelve being the number choosen by our greatest teacher.
On Christmas Eve with help from wife
Her intent being to help ease my preaching strife
A great sermon was spoken to the uniformed throng
Their attentiveness told me absolutely nothing was wrong
A great sermon preached to a sea of faces
A little less pain in one of God's strange places.
But the best was yet to be
For God's sense of humor held a gift for me
That in that night of greatest pastoral power
A goal of rich adolescent vision had come to flower.
The goal was to preach in a great filled cathedral
And to do it with an excellence almost sudoral
To do it so well that half would return
To do it so well only half Christ would spurn,
At least as far as his worship would go
The ethical part is still very much in tow.
So God may or may not have a plan
But I suspect She chuckles when She observes man
And although cold stone the structure was not
A legion it could comfortably hold
The half of which were almost down right told
By circumstances beyond their personal control
That to chapel next week they would return
If only for encouragement their first strip to earn.
This is a genunine gift God gave to me
The purpose I think to help me see
That though youthful ambition errs by aiming high
The calculus of our lives belong to the Big Guy.
Note on the use of 'She' to refer to God. It was Oswald Chambers' 'My Utmost for His Highest' that educated me to this in the scriptural sense.
poem by Bill Grace
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Too Much In-The-Love
A position of proposition kept.
Researched...
With a common sense,
Not academic!
I am not someone to invite to test.
But I've never met an obstacle...
That has of yet,
Made me unhappy because we've met.
'Cause I'm...
Too much in-the-love!
Yes,
I'm...
Just too basic.
I studied all the books in school.
And as a rule I found this true...
I am,
Too much in-the-love!
Yes!
And...
Just too basic.
My Masters and my Doctorate,
I got early in life.
And the military taught me...
To be,
Decisive!
A position of proposition kept.
Researched...
With a common sense,
Not academic!
'Cause I'm...
Too much in-the-love!
Yes,
In-the-LOVE!
And...
Just 'too' basic.
My 'degree' is in my 'own' history!
And my proposition spoken,
Is in my position...
Stated!
Too much in-the-love!
Yes,
In-the-LOVE!
And...
I'm Just TOO basic.
My Masters and my Doctorate,
I got early in life.
And the military taught me...
To be,
Decisive!
And today I'm delighted.
'Cause I'm...
Just too much,
In-the-LOVE!
Yes,
In-the-LOVE!
And...
Just too basic.
'Cause I'm...
Just 'too' much,
In-the-LOVE!
Yes,
In-the-LOVE!
And...
Just TOO basic.
So basic I am wide eyed.
And I'm...
Just 'too' much in-the-love.
Yes,
In-the-LOVE!
And...
Just TOO basic.
And earned to keep!
Yes I'm too much,
In-the-LOVE.
Just too much,
In-the-LOVE.
Yes too much,
In-the-LOVE.
Just too much.
Yes I'm too much,
In-the-LOVE.
Just too much,
In-the-LOVE.
Yes too much,
In-the-LOVE.
Just TOO much.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Essence Of Sense Of Humor
It’s the rarest of the commodities
It’s a gift possessed by few
Yes I’m talking about sense of humor
It has an essence that’s absolutely new
People having this rarest quality
Can turn the things all upside down
Making a mockery of most serious cases
They would hardly let you frown
That’s the color it brings to life
That’s the essence of sense of humor
The energy it brings to others and self
Is way beyond all jokes and rumor
You can master the circumstances
You can nullify the negativity
You need not be a professional
It’s only a matter of creativity
It diffuses the negative energy
And infuses the positive
It gives us a new direction
To be a little more sensitive
All tears can turn to smiles
With a small pinch of humor
People will remember you forever
That’s the essence of sense of humor.
poem by Sumeet Mukherjee
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The American public highly overrates its sense of humor. We're great belly laughers and prat fallers, but we never really did have a real sense of humor. Not satire anyway. … When we realize finally that we aren't God's given children, we'll understand satire. Humor is really laughing off a hurt, grinning at misery.
quote by Bill Mauldin
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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Art of Humor
The parody, the comic
The irony, the slapstick
The comedy, the joke
There are many names of humor
A little flirt, a bit sway
A random bait, a strike catch
A prick of crack, a needed pain
So far we go just for humor
Because it is fun, because it is crazy
Because it is refreshing, because it brings laugh
Lightening the mood, building emotion
Always use humor in a good way
The situation, the mimic
The trap, the surprise
The movement, the style
Only human could understand humor
The witty question, the innocence answer
The spontaneous expression, the awaited performance
The dilemma, the mistake
Everything could turn into humor
To tease, to distract
To criticize, to attract
To break the ice, to open the gag
Don't take humor too serious
In critical condition, in awkward moment
In relaxing time, in happy hour
In strange fact, in life experience
Do you know that God also has a sense of humor?
poem by Maria Sudibyo
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Fate's Fool Day
Life brought you back to me
Seems like so long ago
When we were together
And when you had to go
Never thought that pain
Would sting so badly and scar
But seeing you with her
Was the worst pain by far
A vision that should've been
Me inside of your arm
But her shining smile and finger
Only did more harm
Fate has a cruel sense of humor
To mock me right to my face
To bring your happiness and
Success right to this place
Yet here you are
And if you only knew
How at one time I lived for us
But now dying because of you.
poem by Airda Jones
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All I Want For Christmas
You could shop until you drop
At every mall in town
Searching for that special gift for me
Cowboy boots, a hunting suit
That would be just fine
But you can't buy the biggest wish of mine
Honey, all I want for Christmas
Is a new year with you
Twelve more months of loving
A heart so sweet and true
Make me a promise
That's the best that you can do
All I want for Christmas
Is a new year with you
I could make a list of my requests
And send them to Santa Claus
Tell him what a good man I've been
He could land up on our rooftop
Bring it all on Christmas eve
But you've still got the greatest gift for me
Honey, all I want for Christmas
Is a new year with you
Twelve more months of loving
A heart so sweet and true
Make me a promise
That's the best that you can do
All I want for Christmas
Is a new year with you
I could be so happy
Holding you by firelight
Listening to you whisper
I'm yours for life
Honey, all I want for Christmas
Is a new year with you
Twelve more months of loving
A heart so sweet and true
Make me a promise
That's the best that you can do
All I want for Christmas
Is a new year with you
Honey, all I want for Christmas
Is a new year with you
song performed by by Toby Keith
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Since the goal of my programs is to show audiences how humor can both help them heal as well as deal with not-so-funny stuff, I decided to discuss the events of the previous week, the pain all of us were feeling, and how humor and some laughter might be beneficial.
quote by Allen Klein
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Dorothy
For she grew up in Kansas
An American for real
She loved baseball, God and country
And McDonalds for a meal.
She was a true American
Loved Springsteen to the hilt
But when she was in college
And struggling with bills
She thought she'd join the army
Join up as a reserve
Two weeks a year did not seem much
The time she had to serve.
It was great there in the army
She took it in her stride
Gave her some real ambition
And a sense of National Pride.
She started off as private
They joked, as 'private parts'
Then she became a corporal
Of the military arts
Part time corporal Kansas
She said that to the men
Who now were joining up in droves
When promotion came again
So now she was a sergeant
Who'd never been to war
Then the call up for iraq came out
And opened up the door
Of full time full on soldiering
So now it was her chance
To fight those goddam'd Arabs
And stop their deadly dance.
Day one it was amazing
They were given their full kit
Some kit wasn't full at all
But they didn't mind a bit
So with her body armour
An M15 right by her side
She jumped into the transport
For a military ride.
They disembarked at Basra
Now held safe by prior troops
They raced the desert northwards
Caught Baghdad inside a loop
The war was over quickly
Those Iraqi's they just ran
And one day she was called to see
A new military man
Said she was showing promise
Would she like to a different role?
A role that’s so important
And so central to our goal
These WMD's he said
Are proving hard to find
Those damned Iraqi's know so much
But they have twisted minds
We've got close on two hundred
Most of the players in the pack
So we have to exert pressure
On all the A-rabs that we catch.
Sergeant Kansas saw her future
She knew her destiny
She would be the first to find
A WMD.
We've know that they are out there
We know that from on high
And Sergeant Kansas stood there
Spangled banner in her eyes.
The dog leash was quite crazy
She told investigative men
Who questioned her so closely
And time and time again
They asked her the same question
Are you really really sure
That this was just an act of yours
And that no superior
Told you straight to do it
Or was it that this war
Made certain things permitted
Behind the gaol house door?
(pause)
'it was great there in the army
I took it in my stride
It gave me real ambition
And a sense of national pride
That is how it started
But if i the truth can tell
I now feel i'm America
And in a living hell'
30 May 2004
poem by David Keig
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My Greatest Fear!
I have many fears
some range from big to small
here's a secret dear
my greatest fear of them all
you might think it was to die
and yes long time ago it was
but now I enjoy the thought of my death
but let me tell you now my greatest fear of them all
is to become old and older going through menopause
become sick and ill until you no longer feel,
eyes always glazed do you see heaven through your haze?
painful streaks of pain that no medicine can contain
how can you keep your fate in god
when hes giving you all this pain?
but none the less this is my greatest fear
its not the thought of dying
its just the pain of old age
I don't want to be immortal
what a pain that would be!
but see it through my eyes
as you watch your grandmother slowly die
after all these years of pain
then you can understand my fear
is not death its slowly deterioration as i get old
so id rather die at 40 yeas old, young i know
but its peaceful that thought
my greatest fear my greatest fear my number one fear of them all!
poem by Alizia Sampson
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Identity Of Moment
At twelve of night philosopher thinks with a cup of tea
At twelve of night exuded in dream
At twelve of night cloud of blue sky burns
At twelve of night strip by strip waves fall to ground
At twelve of night full moon flashes of light
At twelve of night horn of car strikes on door
At twelve of night couple enters into dwell of love
At twelve of night loud cry of progenitors comes
At twelve of night machinegun of devilish roars
At twelve of night whistles of train strikes
At twelve of night the red sun of monument raises.
poem by Bongokobida Zakaria
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We Work The Black Seam
This place has changed for good
Your economic theory said it would
Its hard for us to understand
We cant give up our jobs the way we should
Our blood has stained the coal
We tunneled deep inside the nations soul
We matter more than pounds and pence
Your economic theory makes no sense
One day in a nuclear age
They may understand our rage
They build machines that they cant control
And bury the waste in a great big hole
Power was to become cheap and clean
Grimy faces were never seen
But deadly for twelve thousand years is carbon fourteen
We work the black seam together
The seam lies underground
Three million years of pressure packed it down
We walk through ancient forest lands
And light a thousand cities with our hands
Your dark satanic mills
Have made redundant all our mining skills
You cant exchange a six inch band
For all the poisoned streams in cumberland
One day in a nuclear age
They may understand our rage
They build machines that they cant control
And bury the waste in a great big hole
Power was to become cheap and clean
Grimy faces were never seen
But deadly for twelve thousand years is carbon fourteen
We work the black seam together
Our conscious lives run deep
You cling onto your mountain while we sleep
This way of life is part of me
The is no price so only let me be
And should the children weep
The turning world will sing their souls to sleep
When you have sunk without a trace
The universe will suck me into place
One day in a nuclear age
They may understand our rage
They build machines that they cant control
And bury the waste in a great big hole
Power was to become cheap and clean
Grimy faces were never seen
But deadly for twelve thousand years is carbon fourteen
We work the black seam together
song performed by by Sting
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Brief History of Man
For ages the undeveloped
ape-man walked alone
stumbling over himself
in darkness
there was no joy
no laughter nor sense of humor
no smiles but in the
pain and suffering
of others
then we arrived
the loving beings of the light
we looked down upon
yet with compassion
sympathy for our fellow being
thus began the great epic tale
of evolution
poem by Gregory Allen Uhan
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This Christmas Time
Presents underneath the tree
Candles burning bright
Stockings hung with lots of care
On this silent Christmas night
What makes this season magical
Is what made my dream come true
Just seeing you
To be here with you
Oh this Christmas time
Is the best one ever
The greatest gift in life
Is you and me together
And I thank heaven for sending you here tonight
This Christmas time
Some people hope for rings of gold
All that money buys
Children have their list of toys
Prayin' Santa gets it right
The one thing I wish for
Came true when you walked in
To hear you laugh again
To see you smile again
Oh this Christmas time
Is the best one ever
The greatest gift in life
Is you and me together
And I thank heaven for sending you here tonight
Oh this Christmas time
Oh this Christmas time
Is the best one ever
The greatest gift in life
Is you and me together
And I thank heaven for sending you here tonight
Sending you here tonight
This Christmas time
song performed by by Lonestar from This Christmas Time
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The greatest goal of all time
I've seen lots of great goals
some to take your breath away
I recall one from many years ago
that has stayed with me to this day.
The player had the ball at his feet
cutting through the defence like a sword
beating player after player with ease
the whole ground stood to applaud.
I've witnessed individual goals
and some created by most of the team
but the greatest one I've ever seen?
was by myself in a beautiful lucid dream.
I was playing for England against Brazil
the crowd was roaring out my name
it was the World Cup Final at Wembley
two all with a minute left in the game.
I then tackled and robbed Pele of the ball
and I went on a long and mazy run
it ended with me hitting home the winner
'What a goal' read the headline in the Sun.
I lifted up the Jules Rimet Trophy
got carried round the pitch shoulder high
but when Pele said my goal was the greatest
I just fell to my muddy knees to cry.
It's been said that dreams can come true
and that's a saying I know to be right
because that 'dream' goal I scored at Wembley
was voted best ever goal on the telly last night!
poem by Kevin Halls
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Common sense and a sense of humor are the same thing, moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
quote by William James
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Common sense and sense of humor are the same thing moving at different speeds. A sense of humor is just common sense, dancing.
quote by Clive Jones
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The best sermon is preached by the minister who has a sermon to preach and not by the man who has to preach a sermon.
quote by William Feather
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Greatest Sex
From beyond this bed of mine I see
Ceiling fans with you on top of me
And the window blinds are filled with rays of sun
And all you secret fantasies thy will be done done
And inside of your walls there will dwell a capricorn
That will feast your body all night
If we keep this up then a love child will be born
All because
Of the greatest
Chorus
The greatest you
The greatest me
We have found the greatest chemistry
The greatest touch
The greatest kiss
What came to be is the greatest wish
The greatest show
The greatest song
The greatest words
The greatest all night long
Baby your love stays constantly on my mind
This is the best sex Ive ever had
I know twelve ways to make your love come down
And the secret places on you will be found
Like a voyage when the storm begins to roar
Theres no telling what this night could have in store in store
Cause inside of your walls there will dwell a capricorn
That will feast your body all night
And if we keep this up then a love child will be born
All because
Of the greatest
Chorus
The greatest you
The greatest me
We have found the greatest chemistry
The greatest touch
The greatest kiss
What came to be is the greatest wish
The greatest show
The greatest song
The greatest words
The greatest all night long
Baby your love stays constantly on my mind
This is the best sex Ive ever had
Repeat 3x
Something that happened out the day for the sake of our love
Like a hand and glove we go together this love is forever oooh
This sex is so good Ive got to break it down
song performed by by R. Kelly
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Greatest Sex
From beyond this bed of mine I see
Ceiling fans with you on top of me
And the window blinds are filled with rays of sun
And all you secret fantasies thy will be done (done)
And inside of your walls there will dwell a Capricorn
(that will feast your body all night)
If we keep this up then a love child will be born
All because
Of the greatest
[chorus]
The greatest you
The greatest me
We have found the greatest chemistry
The greatest touch
The greatest kiss
What came to be is the greatest wish
The greatest show
The greatest song
The greatest words
The greatest all night long
Baby your love stays constantly on my mind
This is the best sex I've ever had
I know twelve ways to make your love come down
And the secret places on you will be found
Like a voyage when the storm begins to roar
There's no telling what this night could have in store (in store)
Cause inside of your walls there will dwell a capricorn
(that will feast your body all night)
And if we keep this up then a love child will be born
All because
Of the greatest
[chorus]
The greatest you
The greatest me
We have found the greatest chemistry
The greatest touch
The greatest kiss
What came to be is the greatest wish
The greatest show
The greatest song
The greatest words
The greatest all night long
Baby your love stays constantly on my mind
This is the best sex I've ever had
[repeat 3x]
Something that happened out the day for the sake of our love
Like a hand and glove we go together this love is forever oooh
This sex is so good I've got to break it down
song performed by by R. Kelly from TP-2.COM
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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