(Dodgy Dave Tale) Gunga Din and His Amazing Crew Within
(Dodgy Dave Tale) Gunga Din and His Amazing Crew Within
First of the New Year Dodgy Dave Tale
But I think it's a reaction to the meds for his back that ails
You'll understand what I mean
When I write and create this scene
(Hallucinations just might be what David has seen)
We were chatting online again
And this is where the story begins
We said we were both to old to bring in the New Year
And remembering what we used to do for cheer
He said now he gets his kicks
Firing at balloons on the ceiling and dropping dust and bricks
And so this is where the roof has caved in
And where all the hallucinations begin
He said he saw Gunga Din the Merman in a saucer fly by
He was complaining David was shooting into the sky
This intergalactical Gunga Din
Had a special animal crew within
Each animal had their own oxygen suit
Can you just picture it? It has to be cute!
I don't know about you
But I think David has a new calling to pursue
Fictional books for the children's aisle
Or it's the meds for his back that has given him a new style....: O)
1 Jan 2008
Related quotes
A Little Merman (Fun Poem 51)
Just beyond the reef
where the little fishes swim
there lives a little merman
and his name is Gunga Din.
He frolics in the ocean
from morning to night,
playing with the mermaids
is his hearts delight.
One day while playing
on the ocean floor
Gunga din found a bottle
with a Genie trapped within.
He opened the bottle
and set the Genie free.
The Genie then said to him.
“Three wishes I now grant to thee.”
“Three wishes? What are those? ”
Gunga Din asked the Genie.
“Wishes are made
for anything you want,
and then I will make them come true.”
“But I have no need for wishes.
I have everything my heart desires.”
“But surely there is something
that you would like most of all? ”
Gunga Din shook his head.
“There is nothing I require.”
“Nothing? ” Asked the Genie.
“Nothing.” Gunga Din replied.
“You see Mr Genie
I have everything I need.
I am completely satisfied
with everything I have got.”
“The oceans are my gardens
to play around all day within.
I have plenty of friends
to keep me company.
So what do I need your wishes for?
I have everything I’ll ever need.”
“But I must grant you three wishes
for setting me free
and If you won’t take the wishes
I cannot be free.“
Gunga thought for a moment.
This cannot be right.
Everyone must be free
to do as they wish.
“Get back in the bottle, Mr Genie.
I’ll take you to some distant sandy shore.
I’ll put you on the beach
for someone to find.
I’m sure in that greedy world out there,
that there is someone
who will take up your wishes
and set you free.
28 December 2007
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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(Dodgy Dave Tale) Plastic Flowers
(Dodgy Dave Tale) Plastic Flowers
This is another Dodgy Dave Tale that goes out
To all the romantics that have their doubts
See Dodgy states he is unromantically inclined
That could leave poor Vera maligned
(Vera his wife that this story is behind)
You see when your in love with a man
Women expect romantic gifts not just a hand
And Vera felt a little slighted here
Because it was flowers she lacked from her dear
So one day his wife and Dodgy Dave
Went out on the town not to misbehave
They decided to go to a Car Boot Sale
(Don't ask me what that is Dave knows that tale)
As they were walking along that day
Dodgy Dave came upon a plastic flower bouquet
Well he picked the thing up
And thought to himself...what luck
Now I have flowers to give to my gal
And she will think of me as her romantic pal
The moral of this silly story here
Is if you want to be unromantically clear
Give your loved one plastic flowers instead
And in return for your supper expect water and brown bread
28 Jan 2008
(Dodgy Dave Tale) Angel On Earth
(Dodgy Dave Tale) Angel On Earth
Another Dodgy Dave Tale to converse
It seems David thinks he's not an angel or worse
He just doesn't understand
That an angel is someone that lends a hand
Friendship is the key you see
God's greatest most precious gift in deed
For a man who's heart is big and kind
Deserves those angel wings behind
30 Dec 2007
A Little Mermaid (Fun Poem 81)
For Meggie who suggested I write this.
Deep in the oceans
where the little fishes play
there lives a little mermaid
and her name is Haveagayday.
She is not sure how she got her name,
but it is her name no less,
it might have been her mother
who helped a fisherman in distress.
One day Haveagayday was playing
with her friend a little merman named Gunga Din.
While they played Bubbles, a moaning Clam
came floating by on his way.
He stopped for a moan
that could never be alone.
He said he couldn’t find a soft spot of sand to bury himself in.
Now Haveagayday and Gunga Din suggested
he go to some sandy beach
where the blue waters lap gently to the shore.
There in the golden sand
he could be on his own all day long.
Bubbles blew some more bubbles
and quickly whooshed away
leaving the little mermaid and merman
to continue with their play.
Several days later while playing near that spot
they met up with the moaning clam,
old Bubbles again.
“You said it would be quiet
in that place in the sun,
that I would have all the peace and quite I wanted.
Well you were wrong
with all those noisy surfers
all trying to crack my shell.”
Haveagayday and Gunga Din thought
about what they could do.
Then Gunga Din remembered
about his Genie friend.
If his bottle were still on the beach,
his three wishes would help Bubbles
get his peace and quiet.
Haveagayday and Gunga Din swam off
to find the Genie in the bottle
if he was still on the beach.
They found the beach
where Gunga Din had put the bottle.
They searched along the beach
hoping the bottle hadn’t been found.
Finally, they found the bottle
and Gunga Din pulled the cork
and set the Genie free.
The Genie came out in a puff of smoke.
“I have three wishes to grant thee.”
“I know Mr Genie and I’ll have those wishes
for you to grant to me.”
“Tell me what your wishes are
and I will make them come true.”
“We have a friend named Bubbles
who wants a quiet beach to live.”
“Granted.” The Genie said.
“My second wish is that Bubbles
has a friendly mate f
or when the loneliness gets too much.”
The Genie smiled and clicked his fingers
and the wish was done.
“You have one more wish. Do you want it now? ”
“Oh, yes please.”
“I have a friend who is a Genie
whom would like to be free.
My third wish is then that you set my Genie free
for now and ever more.”
The Genie snapped his fingers.
“Your wish has been granted.”
He then looked at Gunga Din.
“You know you wasted that last wish.
You could have kept it for something your heart desired.”
“But I did Genie. My wish for your freedom
was my hearts desire.
That you be, free forever more.”
Haveagayday and Gunga Din got married
later on that year.
The Best man at their wedding
was the Genie whom he set free.
Also at the Wedding
were Bubbles and his bride to be Cuddles.
Now they all live happily together
Haveagayday, Gunga Din, Bubbles, Cuddles
and of course the Genie
under the deep blue sea.
24-25 June 2008
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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How I Became Known As Dodgy Dave
From time to time people ask me
how I got the name Dodgy Dave
and why I take no offence at it.
The story starts about six or seven years ago
when I joined a Western Re-Enactment Society.
I went to help build a western town
that eventually became know as Deadwood.
As the date for near completion came
the only building left to be finished was the Church.
The original builders had left it only half built.
The owner of the farm
on which the town is built
wanted it finished for our grand opening day.
Someone suggested that because of all the help,
I had given, why I don’t take it on
and they would help me finish it,
but I needed a town name
that would go along with the building,
I thought for a moment and then said
what about Reverend Mr Black
after the old Kingston Trio song.
So for a couple of years
I became known as Rev. Mr Black.
Two of my friends Buck and Caroline
(better know to one and all as Caz)
were planning their wedding.
They were going to have an official ceremony
on the Friday and on the Saturday;
they were to have another wedding in the town.
They asked if I would marry them in the town ceremony.
I told them I would be honoured.
Caz then went around telling everyone,
family and friends
that Dodgy Dave the vicar was going to marry them,
but he isn’t dodgy,
it’s just my pet name for him.
Soon everybody started calling me Dodgy Dave.
However, with every nice story
somehow sadness always intervenes.
Six weeks before their wedding,
this pretty woman who had renamed me Dodgy Dave
died at the tender age of thirty.
We held a wake for her in the town
on the day she and Buck were to marry.
It was a sad affair,
but her memory remains with me
every time someone calls me Dodgy Dave.
There are so many memories attached to that name.
It was never given out of malice,
but out of friendship sincere.
Now the name Dodgy Dave
has become very dear to me.
I use it all the time,
because when I do it reminds me
of the young woman with fair hair
whose friendship I treasured so
and I never want to let the memory of her go.
So there you have it
the story behind the christening
of me to Dodgy Dave
11 March 2008
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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My Best Friends
For JoAnn and Meggie
There are two young ladies
I think of as my best friends.
If ever I have a problem
that was eating away at me
I could go to either of them
and they would comfort me.
I’d do the same for them
at anytime night or day.
Not only are they my best friends,
they are my writing partners in poetry
when we write under
JoJo Bean, Dodgy Dave and Meggie Gultiano.
Although we have never met
as each of us live thousands of miles away,
they are still my best friends.
Some may never understand
why I say that at all,
they may even argue that statement
saying how can you be best friends
with people you have never met.
I’d reply just look at the poetry
we have together written
it speaks of three writing together with one voice,
of friendship with a deep loving bond for one another.
Therefore, when I say they are my best friends
I say that with sincerity,
and my words come from my heart.
Therefore, ladies now you know
just what you mean to me
and I want the whole world
to see and understand
that best friends can live anywhere
even in far off distant lands.
Friendships hold no boundaries
and are not restricted by what we are.
The key is how you feel
towards every one of them.
I have been lucky in having many friends
of many religions, nationalities and creeds,
but JoAnn and Meggie are my best friends,
and I know it will always stay that way.
Thank you ladies
for always being there for me.
David aka Dodgy Dave
9 February 2008
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Happy New Year Everyone
As we venture towards another year,
I sit and reflect on the passing one.
A year that has been filled
with surprises from start to finish.
The biggest surprise
is the love and friendship
that has greeted me
from all the four corners of the world.
My cup runneth over
with the joys that it has brought
to this heart of mine.
It is hard to believe
and I am still pinching myself
to prove that it is real.
I could never have imagined
at this time last year. (2006)
that I would be writing this
to say thank you to everyone.
The joy of just one friend
is something to rejoice for,
but to having hundreds
is surely a blessing from God.
This year has taught me
many things about my life
and the way we should live.
Caring for others,
everyone we meet,
stretching out a helping hand
to everyone in need.
Never giving cross words,
there is no need for them,
when our love
will always make amends.
So yes, this passing year to me
has been a very memorable one.
Into the next, I’ll stride
with hope that I can help more
than I did this year.
Making more people smile
and bring more love and good cheer.
To all my friends out there
around the world
I am wishing you
a very happy and prosperous
New Year (2008) ahead.
If it is to be,
like this year for me.
It will certainly be a good
and Happy New Year indeed.
Happy New Year Everyone
Love and Hugs
David aka Dodgy Dave
30 December 2007
poem by David Harris
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Gunga Din
You may talk o' gin and beer
When you're quartered safe out 'ere,
An' you're sent to penny-fights an' Aldershot it;
But when it comes to slaughter
You will do your work on water,
An' you'll lick the bloomin' boots of 'im that's got it.
Now in Injia's sunny clime,
Where I used to spend my time
A-servin' of 'Er Majesty the Queen,
Of all them blackfaced crew
The finest man I knew
Was our regimental bhisti, Gunga Din.
He was "Din! Din! Din!
You limpin' lump o' brick-dust, Gunga Din!
Hi! slippery ~hitherao~!
Water, get it! ~Panee lao~! [Bring water swiftly.]
You squidgy-nosed old idol, Gunga Din."
The uniform 'e wore
Was nothin' much before,
An' rather less than 'arf o' that be'ind,
For a piece o' twisty rag
An' a goatskin water-bag
Was all the field-equipment 'e could find.
When the sweatin' troop-train lay
In a sidin' through the day,
Where the 'eat would make your bloomin' eyebrows crawl,
We shouted "Harry By!" [Mr. Atkins's equivalent for "O brother."]
Till our throats were bricky-dry,
Then we wopped 'im 'cause 'e couldn't serve us all.
It was "Din! Din! Din!
You 'eathen, where the mischief 'ave you been?
You put some ~juldee~ in it [Be quick.]
Or I'll ~marrow~ you this minute [Hit you.]
If you don't fill up my helmet, Gunga Din!"
'E would dot an' carry one
Till the longest day was done;
An' 'e didn't seem to know the use o' fear.
If we charged or broke or cut,
You could bet your bloomin' nut,
'E'd be waitin' fifty paces right flank rear.
With 'is ~mussick~ on 'is back, [Water-skin.]
'E would skip with our attack,
An' watch us till the bugles made "Retire",
An' for all 'is dirty 'ide
'E was white, clear white, inside
When 'e went to tend the wounded under fire!
It was "Din! Din! Din!"
With the bullets kickin' dust-spots on the green.
When the cartridges ran out,
You could hear the front-files shout,
"Hi! ammunition-mules an' Gunga Din!"
I shan't forgit the night
When I dropped be'ind the fight
With a bullet where my belt-plate should 'a' been.
I was chokin' mad with thirst,
An' the man that spied me first
Was our good old grinnin', gruntin' Gunga Din.
'E lifted up my 'ead,
An' he plugged me where I bled,
An' 'e guv me 'arf-a-pint o' water-green:
It was crawlin' and it stunk,
But of all the drinks I've drunk,
I'm gratefullest to one from Gunga Din.
It was "Din! Din! Din!
'Ere's a beggar with a bullet through 'is spleen;
'E's chawin' up the ground,
An' 'e's kickin' all around:
For Gawd's sake git the water, Gunga Din!"
'E carried me away
To where a dooli lay,
An' a bullet come an' drilled the beggar clean.
'E put me safe inside,
An' just before 'e died,
"I 'ope you liked your drink", sez Gunga Din.
So I'll meet 'im later on
At the place where 'e is gone --
Where it's always double drill and no canteen;
'E'll be squattin' on the coals
Givin' drink to poor damned souls,
An' I'll get a swig in hell from Gunga Din!
Yes, Din! Din! Din!
You Lazarushian-leather Gunga Din!
Though I've belted you and flayed you,
By the livin' Gawd that made you,
You're a better man than I am, Gunga Din!
poem by Rudyard Kipling
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Rose Across The Sea
For My Good Friend JoAnn McGrath
Not so long ago I was joking
with a young lady across sea.
I told her that I was a vicar,
or at least pretend one.
My name was Dodgy Dave the Vicar.
A little while later
she wrote a poem aptly named,
The Vicar Is Quicker.
Since then she has written
quite a number more.
I tell her a funny story about me.
No sooner do I tell her the story
it appear as a Dodgy Dave Poetry.
In the time I have known her
not once have, I wrote a poem for her,
that rose across the sea.
She thinks of me as her big brother.
I find that as a compliment you see,
as my own real sister
does not want to know me.
Therefore, I have an adopted one
far away from me,
a rose across the sea.
Therefore, Joann
this poem is just for you,
from your friend,
that Dodgy quicker vicar
who rhymes with liquor.
A substance he never touches,
but I will raise my cup of tea
and say again,
this poem is just for you,
my rose across the sea.
poem by David Harris
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Happy Birthday Ernestine
While I was at Stratford last year,
I met a number of pretty young ladies
while I was there.
I say young ladies
as they were all young ladies to me
and Ernestine was one
of those young ladies I met there.
I got and gave a hug,
and I am hoping for the same this year,
but for now, it is your birthday.
My how time does fly around.
Happy Birthday and I hope
it will be remembered
as being one of the best
with a gathering of family and friends
around to help you see it through.
This little Birthday poem
comes from me to you,
to wish you a super Happy Birthday Ernestine.
May the happiness of today
be with you all the year through.
Happy Birthday Ernestine
Love and Hugs
David aka Dodgy Dave and Vera
xxxx
25 March 2008
poem by David Harris
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Emily May
For My Great Granddaughter
Today old Dodgy Dave,
was made a Great Granddad again,
with a great granddaughter Emily May,
weighing in at seven pound and four ounces.
Is he happy? I would say he is.
Looking in the mirror
another dozen grey hairs did appear.
One thing I can tell you,
she could grow up to be a pop singer
with the deafening lungs she has.
The new Granddad and Granny are coming around tonight
to toast baby Emily May,
with a couple of cups of tea
on the rocks,
or we might even splash out
on a coke.
Welcome to the crazy world
of your Great Granddad Dodgy Dave
my little Emily May
poem by David Harris
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Happy Birthday Sandra
For Sandra Fowler
Here he goes again
old Dodgy Dave forgetting
his poetry friend’s birthday,
only remembering at the last minute.
Happy Birthday Sandra
I hope you are having a wonderful one
with family and friends around you
to wish you all the happiness you deserve
for all the kind comments you plant here and there.
If you had a wish,
I wonder what it would be for,
to live a long life of happiness.
Well that I wish for you
and for you to make new friends
to mingle with the old ones everyday.
I will also wish you good health
and love to last you through the years,
and all the happiness you so rightly deserve.
Therefore, from this dodgy fellow in England
let me wish you a Happy Birthday
and may you always be my friend.
Happy Birthday Sandra.
4 February 2008
poem by David Harris
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Drunk Without A Drink
They say about getting high
after having a drink too many.
I managed to get high
without participating in a drop.
I had a bad back, muscles twisted.
The meds they put me on
cured my back Ok,
but made me drunk as a skunk.
I staggered around the house,
my speech became slurred
and that was without even taking a drink,
unless spiked my water
without me knowing about it.
I had to use my walking stick
to stop me falling over.
Have stopped taking the meds,
I hope there is no hangover attached,
but we’ll just have to wait and see.
7 January 2008
poem by David Harris
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The Big Cross
My cross is big and golden
and blinds any gunman
who comes after the preacher
with a gun.
I polish it brightly
so it reflects the sun
and blinds any demons
that might be lurking around.
The big cross is the trademark you see
of Dodgy Dave the vicar - me.
16 April 2009
poem by David Harris
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A Thorn Between Two Roses
Talking to a friend last night,
they were saying how
inspiration had deserted them.
I suggested several methods
of how to get it back.
Most of them they had tried,
but with no avail.
Then I suggested collaboration.
They were not to sure about that.
We write in different styles
came the reply.
Therefore, what I said
we could only give it a try.
Reluctantly she agreed.
I dug out a few miss tries
and sent them through.
In the meantime,
I was talking to another friend of ours.
Told her about the collaboration
and she asked if she could join in too.
Of course, I said
I was only too happy
to have her on board.
So the three of us set about to work.
JoAnn, Meggie and me.
And today our first poem was born.
No title yet,
but it has been posted
for the world tom see.
Under the name
JoJo Bean, Dodgy Dave & Meggie Gultiano.
A thorn between two roses.
The poem is seamless
and is difficult to see
where one poet finishes
and another poets starts.
This is our first collaboration
and by no means our last.
Each of us has enjoyed doing it
and is looking forward to the next.
6 January 2008
poem by David Harris
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Animal Boy
Gonna kill and destroy
I'm not an Animal Boy
Why don't they understand
I'm not an ape man
Don't have brain damage
I'm not an a wild savage
Don't push me around
Don't bring my head down
Animal Boy
Animal Boy
Animal Boy
I'm not an imbecile
Don't treat me like an animal
I'm not a creature in the zoo
Don't tell me what to do
Animal Boy
Animal Boy
Animal Boy
You don't know what it's like
You don't know how I feel
I don't have a monkey's brain
I'm not an animal
You can't lock me in a cage
This ain't the Stoneage
Better get out of my way
Someone's gonna have to pay
Animal boy
Animal boy
Animal boy
Animal boy
song performed by by Ramones from Animal Boy
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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And I Was Moved
They came running down the road
like something resembling
a stampeding Buffalo herd.
“There he is! ” Someone shouted.
I looked around to see
whom they were shouting about,
but there was no one, only me.
I looked again as the pens came out.
“Let’s get his autograph! ”
And I was moved,
moved so much I started to run
towards them, arms open wide.
And I was moved again,
being carried along by the herd.
“It is him! It’s Robbie Williams! ”
Now who the heck is he?
I though it was Dodgy Dave’s autograph they wanted,
but no it was only in my dreams I’m afraid.
5 July 2008
poem by David Harris
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Dagenham Dave
Head in the clouds, and a mouthful of pie
Head in a blouse, everybody loves him
I see why
Dagenham dave, dagenham dave
Oh, dagenham dave
Dagenham dave, dagenham dave
Oh, dagenham dave
I love karen, I love sharon on the windowscreen
With never the need to fight or to question a single thing
Dagenham dave, dagenham dave
Oh, dagenham dave
Dagenham dave, dagenham dave
Oh, dagenham dave
Dagenham dave, dagenham dave
Oh, dagenham dave
Dagenham dave, dagenham dave
Dagenham dave
Hed love to touch, hes afraid that he might self-combust
I could say more, but you get the general idea
Dagenham dave, dagenham dave
Dagenham dave, dagenham dave
Dagenham, dagenham
Dagenham dave, dagenham dave
Dagenham dave, dagenham dave
Dagenham, dagenham dave
Dagenham dave, dagenham dave
Oh, dave, oh, dagenham, dagenham
Dagenham dave
Dagenham dave, dagenham dave
Oh, dave, oh, dave, oh, dave
Oh, dave
song performed by by Morrissey
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Real Face That's Me (Fun Poem 26)
Behind each poem, that I write
hides a different face of me.
One of love and caring,
one sadness and sorrow,
one of frustration and pain,
and one of future sight and wisdom.
Now which one will I be?
Come to think of it,
which one is the real me?
Now that I am confused,
I cannot even remember my name,
let alone who I am.
Is my name Dodgy, Danny Boy, Walter M., or is it David.
Maybe they are all the same person that I am.
You can take your choice;
see if you can find the real face that’s me.
poem by David Harris
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Another Lot Of Things You Shouldn’t Do
Never date Wonder Woman
you will never know what she might do.
She could toss her golden lariat
and choke the truth out of you.
Never date Superman
when he asks you to take a flight with him.
He might dropp you
as he waves to the crowd below.
Never date Spiderman
on any given day.
He might leave dangling in his web
while he is called away.
Never date Batman
because you will never be alone.
He has always got a Robin
bobbing along behind.
Never ever date Dodgy Dave The Vicar
because he’ll preach all night to you
and just to top that
you’ll be chased by Vera with a rolling pin in hand.
22 November 2007
poem by David Harris
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