The Path To Rightousness
SOME FRIENDS WERE SEATED AT A BEER PARLOUR DRINKING BEER! ALL OF A SUDDEN A MAN WALKED IN AND SAID, MERRY MEN! A LIQUOR CONTEST IS ABOARD!
HOORAY! SHOUTED THE JOLLY FELLOWS! JUST THEN A PREACHER WALKED IN WITH HIS HOLY SCRIPTURES AND SHOUTED OUT FOR ALL TO HEAR, WIDE IS THE PATH THE LEADS TO DESTRUCTION! REPENT OF THY ALCHOHOLIC WAYS AND FOLLOW THE PATHS OF RIGHTOUSNESS!
JUST THEN A WELL KNOWN WHORE WALKED INTO THE PARLOUR AND ON SIGHTING THE PREACHER, SHE QUICKLY SEIZED HIM BY HIS BELT!
THE SURPRISED FELLOWS ALL CAME TOGETHER AND ENQUIRED OF HER, SAYING, WHAT BE THY PROBLEM THAT YOU TROUBLE THIS RIGHTOUS MAN? AND SHE REPLIED, HE HAS REFUSED TO PAY ME FOR MY SERVICES, THRICE I HAVE ALLOWED HIM MY PLEASURES ON CREDIT, BUT ALAS! TODAY HE MUST PAY!
THE STUNNED FELLOWS ALL BECAME SILENT AND WENT BACK TO THEIR BEER DRINKING!
poem by Overlord Don Manuel Ihcakeyno
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Beer And Bones
I ain't nothin' but beer and bones
Honey since I lost you
I ain't ate a bite
Since the night
That you said we're through
I walked to that jukebox to play
A few sad country songs
I heard someone say
Hey that old boy
Ain't nothin' but beer and bones
I got to work this morning
Early this afternoon
Yeah my boss man nudged me
Said son I need to talk to you
You used to make me money
But lately I been taking a loss
Well he smelled my breath
Gave me what was left
Of the day off
I ain't nothin' but beer and bones
Honey since I lost you
I ain't ate a bite
Since the night
That you said we're through
I walked to that jukebox to play
A few sad country songs
I heard someone say
Hey that old boy
Ain't nothin' but beer and bones
Well I wish I could go home
And rest my weary head
But I know I'll just stay here
And have another beer instead
That little waitress asked me
Honey could you use some help
I said I thank you miss
I'll have to get through this
By my dang self
I ain't nothin' but beer and bones
Honey since I lost you
I ain't ate a bite
Since the night
That you said we're through
I walked to that jukebox to play
A few sad country songs
I heard someone say
Hey that old boy
Ain't nothin' but beer and bones
I heard someone say
Hey that old boy
Ain't nothin' but beer and bones
song performed by by John Michael Montgomery
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Lie Of All Lies
SOME YOUNG LADS SAT CHATTING MERRILY AND NOISILY WHEN A REVEREND PREACHER WALKED BY AND HE SAID TO THEM, WHAT BE THE CAUSE FOR THY NOISY CHATTER? HE ASKED AND THE CHILDREN REPLIED SAYING, PREACHER, WE HAVE PUT UP OUR SAVINGS FOR A WAGER! HE AMONGST US WHO TELLS THE GREATEST LIE WILL WIN THE WHOLE MONEY! THE PREACHER FROWNED AND SAID, LISTEN BOYS! IT IS NOT A GOOD THING TO TELL LIES! TAKE ME AS AN EXAMPLE! I HAVE NEVER TOLD A LIE IN MY ENTIRE LIFE! STATED THE PREACHER! AND THE BOYS QUICKLY GOT UP, PACKED UP THE COINS ON THE FLOOR AND HANDED IT TO THE PREACHER SAYING, YOU WIN SIR! YOURS WAS THE BIGGEST LIE WE HAVE EVER HEARD!
poem by Overlord Don Manuel Ihcakeyno
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Paintings are like a beer, only beer tastes good and it's hard to stop drinking beer.
quote by Billy Carter
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Beer & Bones
(sanger d. shafer/lonnie williams)
I aint nothin but beer and bones
Honey since I lost you
I aint ate a bite
Since the night
That you said were through
I walked to that jukebox to play
A few sad country songs
I heard someone say
Hey that old boy
Aint nothin but beer and bones
I got to work this morning
Early this afternoon
Yeah my boss man nudged me
Said son I need to talk to you
You used to make me money
But lately I been taking a loss
Well he smelled my breath
Gave me what was left
Of the day off
I aint nothin but beer and bones
Honey since I lost you
I aint ate a bite
Since the night
That you said were through
I walked to that jukebox to play
A few sad country songs
I heard someone say
Hey that old boy
Aint nothin but beer and bones
Well I wish I could go home
And rest my weary head
But I know Ill just stay here
And have another beer instead
That little waitress asked me
Honey could you use some help
I said I thank you miss
Ill have to get through this
By my dang self
I aint nothin but beer and bones
Honey since I lost you
I aint ate a bite
Since the night
That you said were through
I walked to that jukebox to play
A few sad country songs
I heard someone say
Hey that old boy
Aint nothin but beer and bones
I heard someone say
Hey that old boy
Aint nothin but beer and bones
song performed by by John Michael Montgomery
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Beer Bong
If I want some beer
I don't want to hear
About how I missed the show
Because I drink to slow
So pass me the beer bong
It wont take very long
For me to put down
This torpedo to the ground
Because drinking beer is to slow
Beer bong is the way to go
To go to go
Don't drink to slow!
song performed by by NOFX
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Beer Song
If I want some beer I dont want to hear about how I missed the show
Because I drink to slow so pass me the beer bong it wont take very long
For me to put down this torpedo to the ground because drinking beer is too
Slow beer bong is the way to go to go to go dont drink too slow !
song performed by by NOFX
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Chug-a-lug
Here a mug, there a mug, everybody chug-a-lug
Here a mug, there a mug, everybody chug-a-lug
Gary likes a girls tight black pants
Larry knows he doesnt stand a chance
Carl says hurry up and order it quick
Dave gets out to chase that chick
Dennis wonders whats under the hood
A big chrome tach and it sounds real good
I go down to the root beer stand
And drink up all that I can
Give me some root beer (chug-a-lug chug-a-lug chug-a-lug)
Give me some root beer (chug-a-lug chug-a-lug chug-a-lug)
Give me some root beer (chug-a-lug chug-a-lug chug-a-lug)
Cold beer, root beer
Here a mug, there a mug, everybody chug-a-lug
Brians still glued to the radio
Louies lookin out the rear window
Guys got around to orderin fries
But root beers my best buy
Give me some root beer (chug-a-lug chug-a-lug chug-a-lug)
Give me some root beer (chug-a-lug chug-a-lug chug-a-lug)
Give me some root beer (chug-a-lug chug-a-lug chug-a-lug)
Cold beer, root beer
Here a mug, there a mug, everybody chug-a-lug
Give me some root beer (chug-a-lug chug-a-lug chug-a-lug)
Give me some root beer (chug-a-lug chug-a-lug chug-a-lug)
Give me some root beer (chug-a-lug chug-a-lug chug-a-lug)
Cold beer, root beer
Here a mug, there a mug, everybody chug-a-lug
Root beer, need another mug now
Root beer, chug-a-lug-a-lug now
Root beer, need another mug now
Root beer, chug-a-lug-a-lug now
Root beer, need another mug now
Root beer, chug-a-lug-a-lug now
song performed by by Beach Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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At The Golden Pig
Where once with lads I scoffed my beer
The landlord's lass I've wed.
Now I am lord and master here;--
Thank God! the old man's dead.
I stand behind a blooming bar
With belly like a tub,
And pals say, seeing my cigar:
'Bill's wed a pub.'
I wonder now if I did well,
My freedom for to lose;
Knowing my wife is fly as hell
I mind my 'Ps' and 'Qs'.
Oh what a fuss she made because
I tweaked the barmaid's bub:
Alas! a sorry day it was
I wed a pub.
Fat landlord of the Golden Pig,
They call me 'mister' now;
And many a mug of beer I swig,
Yet don't get gay, somehow.
So farmer fellows, lean and clean
Who sweat to earn your grub,
Although you haven't got a bean:
Don't wed a pub.
poem by Robert William Service
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I do like beer, but lately I've started drinking non-alcoholic beer and I like the taste of it and I don't get the alcohol, so that's a good alternative also.
quote by Mike Ditka
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If you ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I never had one beer. If I bought a six-pack of beer, I kept drinking till all six beers were gone. You have to have that kind of understanding about yourself. I haven't had a drink now in 12 years.
quote by Samuel L. Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Drunken Dancing Fish
An old man fishing
Sat all day in his boat
Drinking beer
Watching the bobber float
Perhaps it was the alcohol
Or the rocking to and fro
But he swore he saw
A fish come up and dance a do si do!
So quickly
It was gone
But the staggering effect of it
Like a hangover, lingered on long
He sold the boat
And gave up beer
Now he drinks ginger ale
And only hunts deer
poem by Smoky Hoss
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Each To His Or To Her Own
I only came into the pub for to have a quiet beer
But talk of football all I hear I ask what brought me here
And I thought there was more to life than talking of football
But with that at the Local Pub few would agree at all.
One fellow said my team doing well with stress on the word my
Methought he thinks he owns the team or so he seems to imply
And then he sang a line from the anthem of his club 'When the Saints go marching in'
His voice was booming loud and clear above the bar room din.
Suppose it beats talking of war or politics maybe
Though football a boring subject or so 'twould seem to me
But each to his or her own as they say and those words seem so true
And to them I seemed a boring man one of the unenlightened few.
One asked me what team do you barrack for mate, I said who win or lose
Won't matter much to you or I it won't pay for our booze
At which he only laughed aloud saying you must have a team
Or in your present company you are out of place 'twould seem.
Indeed I said how right you are on this we can agree
For you are you and I are I we see things differently
He shouted to the barman give the man a beer he's not a bad old boy
Though on a few important things we do not see eye to eye.
I bought him a beer before I left, thank you old boy he said
And he started to sing 'Good Old Collingwood' the booze had gone to his head
And as I walked out in the night the moon shone in the sky
And a boobook owl called on a gum in the Parkland nearby.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Walk By
ock and roll!
she walked down to the store at 8
the devil walks with her and he thinks shes great
when he looked at me i dont know wat i saw
i think hes trying to make me his son in law
when she walked by
walked by
walked by
she walked on by
walked by
walked by
walked by
she walked on by
egos fly and she walks by
she caught my eye on october ninth
thats 22 days before halloween
how did i know shed be my evil queen
when she walked by
walked by
walked by
she walked on by
walked by
walked by
walked by
she walked on by
my mother warned me against girls like you
she said stay away from them son you know they arent true
all there gonna do is put you under their spell
and when your going down your going straight to hell
walk by
walk by
walk by
im gonna walk on by
walk by
walk by
walk by
im gonna walk on by
walk on by
walk on by
walk on by
walk on by
song performed by by Good Charlotte from Good Charlotte
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Beer before liquor, you'll never be sicker, but liquor before beer and you're in the clear.
A Pint Of Bitter...for Sure
A Pint of Bitter…sure-
At the registrar office we´re getting married
when I noticed on her papers she had been
married 5 times….hold on you never told me
this, I thought you had been married once and
had a daughter with him. I have of think about
this marriage left she accosted me in the street
and said; but what about the caterers, sausage
rolls and pies?
Cheshire; rain and I dislike indigestible food.
I a walked into a pub and had chicken in a basket
with chips and a pint of beer. Her brother came in
and 12 pints of beer later I agreed to marry his sister.
The rest was a blur working men´s clubs and more beer.
The English working class is a tribe and I didn´t fit in.
I went back to sea again but that bloody piece of paper
with my name on took years to erase.
poem by Oskar Hansen
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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All Of My Friends Were There
My big day, it was the biggest day of my life.
It was the summit of my long career,
But I felt so down, and I drank too much beer,
And my manager said that I should not appear.
I walked out onto the stage and started to speak.
The first night Ive missed for a couple of years,
I explained to the crowed and they started to jeer,
And just when I wanted no one to be there,
All of my friends were there.
Not just my friends, but their best friends too.
All of my friends were there to stand and stare,
Say what they may, all of their friends need not stay.
Those who laughed were not friends anyway.
All of my friends were there to stand and stare.
Days went by, I walked around dressed in a disguise.
I wore a mustache and I parted my hair,
And gave the impression that I did not care,
But oh, the embarrassment, oh, the dispair.
Came the day, helped with a few last glasses of gin,
I nervously mounted the stage once again,
Got through my performance and no one complained,
Thank God I can go back to normal again.
I went to that old cafe,
Where I had been in much happier days,
And all of my friends were there,
And no one cared.
Say what they may, all of my friends were there.
Not just my friends, but their best friends too.
All of my friends were there,
Now I dont care.
song performed by by Kinks
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Work
Keep your fingers busy
Mentally or physically
What four-letter word
Dyou know like ...
Look at me smile
Look at me doing their
Work
Ysee me shuffle in the dirt
My how I sweat
But I dont mind
Cause its work
You got me rolling up my shirt
Theres all my old friends
Sat by the fountain drinking beer
Their days have no starts and no ends
They drift into pub nights with no
Promise for tomorrow
All that they want is some
Work
Work
Look at me smile
Look at me polish these
Tools
Am I breaking all the rules?
A cycle like that
I dont want to be late for school
Well its night school
Now all my new friends
Sit in their [site] huts drinking tea
My day has no start and no ends
Drifts into whole nights in my
Coffin by the fireside
Bugger this game
I know whos to blame
And thats
Work
Aw, work
Keep your fingers busy
Mentally or physically
What four-letter word
Dyou know like
Oh! work, work
Oh! work, work
Im back with my old friends
Sat by the brunel drinking beer
Dont want this to ever end
Were living in fear of being
Mizzled by a new myth
Work
I dont want to go to work
Work
I dont want to go to work
song performed by by Xtc
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Worldly People
Worldly people,
Drugs and heavy drinking!
But these overwhelming pleasures has its own disadvantages,
And there are problems to this effect.
Wine or beer when sparingly used is beneficial to one's health,
But be very wise in this world than to waste your life!
For drugs and heavy drinking will lead you nowhere.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Croaking Toad And The Leopard Frog
The croaking toad and the leopard frog,
Were drinking beer on a hollow log.
And the croaking toad said, you're my best bud,
Man you can really hold your suds.
And the leopard frog replied in kind,
Another friend like you, I couldn't find.
You're my best friend when skies are grey,
You're by my side come what may.
I'd rather drink my beer with you,
Than catch blue bottles the whole day through.
Let's drink one more to the breaking dawn,
While we listen quietly to the crickets song.
But the croaking toad said I must go,
I'm very sleepy and the cock just crowed.
I'll see you tonight for a cold one or two,
I really love this black swamp brew.
And the leopard frog said I'll be here,
With my styrofoam ice chest sitting near.
Just bring some peanuts when you come round,
With beer they taste so good going down.
6/8/11 Alton Texas
poem by Juan Olivarez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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