Torture remains
i cried myself to sleep,
3 hours later,
i still can't think of nothing else,
the torture you did to me,
you made me bow down to you,
you made me do what i didn't want to do,
i was scared of you,
a child who wanted to be loved,
becames a sexual toy instead,
what makes it worse,
you wasn't even family,
everybody had there doubts,
but you made them believe,
that you were some kind of saint,
made me feel like i don't belong,
i still feel that way until this day,
in my heart i know i'm better than just sex,
but in my mind i believe its all i'm good for,
do you know how hard it is,
to live in a world that you feel,
could of been better?
i will never get back what i lost to you,
a sense of pride was lost,
a sense of joy to use my body,
the way it was surpose to be use for love,
i feel it as being wrong,
the people i have feelings for,
just can't understand why,
i'm left with telling,
and them leaving me,
or keeping to myself,
having them think i'm just a tease,
and move on,
either way,
i guess i don't have much to lose,
it either,
let somebody i think i have a future with in,
and let them make the choice to stay by my side,
or let them move onto a girl with less problems,
but i hate not having that control,
and when i look at it,
i don't really have as much control as i think,
i just can't go through another rejection from a guy,
because of my past,
it's not even right,
to have to loose something important to you,
all because it was something you didn't ask for,
in the first place.
poem by Mona Martinez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Man
Looking out on the morning rain
I used to feel so uninspired
But when I knew I had to face another long, long day
girl I used to feel so tired
Before the day I met you
life had been so unkind
but you're the key to my peace of mind
'Cause you made me feel, you made me feel
you made me feel like a natural man
When my soul was in the lost and found
you came along to claim it
I didn't know, I didn't know just what was wrong with me
till your kiss helped me to name it
Now I'm no longer doubtful of what I'm living for
but if I make you happy I don't need to do more
'Cause you made me feel, you made me feel
you made me feel like a natural man
Oo baby, baby look what you have done to me
Can't you see that you made me feel so good inside
Don't you know that I just want to be
close to you, you made me feel so alive
'Cause you made me feel, you made me feel
you made me feel like a natural man
Baby I ain't doubtful of what I'm living for
but if I make you happy I don't need to do more
'Cause you made me feel, you made me feel
Well you made me feel like a natural man
song performed by by Rod Stewart
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Natural Man
(g. goffin / c. king / j. wexler)
Looking out on the morning rain
I used to feel so uninspired
But when i knew i had to face another long, long day
Girl i used to feel so tired
Before the day i met you
Life had been so unkind
But you're the key to my peace of mind
'cause you made me feel, you made me feel
You made me feel like a natural man
When my soul was in the lost and found
You came along to claim it
I didn't know, i didn't know just what was wrong with me
Till your kiss helped me to name it
Now i'm no longer doubtful of what i'm living for
But if i make you happy i don't need to do more
'cause you made me feel, you made me feel
You made me feel like a natural man
Oo baby, baby look what you have done to me
Can't you see that you made me feel so good inside
Don't you know that i just want to be
Close to you, you made me feel so alive
'cause you made me feel, you made me feel
You made me feel like a natural man
Baby i ain't doubtful of what i'm living for
But if i make you happy i don't need to do more
'cause you made me feel, you made me feel
Well you made me feel like a natural man
song performed by by Rod Stewart
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Alone
It's late again
It didn't seem to be a problem I couldn't see
You made that choice that made me want to set you free
I see you alone
How does it feel
You lost me again
Took the wrong road
Afraid to be seen
You didn't believe me
How could I prevent what was so meant to me
It's not my fault I knew this all would come to be
Why did you feel so bad to me
I see you alone
How does it feel
You lost me again
Took the wrong road
Afraid to be seen
You didn't believe me
How at all could you expect to sit and stay
After that night there is now way this would not break
I see you alone
How does it feel
You lost me again
Took the wrong road
Afraid to be seen
You didn't believe me
song performed by by Default
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Walked Outta Heaven
[Verse 1-Brian]
I'm rolling down a lonely highway asking god to please forgive me for messing up tha blessing he gave to me i see,
everything clearer now the nights is black as, black as its ever been
without my girl imma lose it i pray that he would just shed his grace on me, i need, just to be back with my baby
[Chorus]
feel like i just walked right out of heaven
feel like i done damn near thrown my life away, hey yea yea
Scared, just like a child thats lost at seven
dont know what to do feel like i just walk right out of heaven
[Verse 2-brandon]
see my mamma told me thats if its meant to be she'll come back and she'll forgive me and the best thing i can do it to just
let her, let her go i know, i don't wanna do it
but if i continue to push she'll just pull away and i know that in my heart its a reality i didn't treat her like she wanted
to be treated, and i hope that shes not gone for good no no
[Chorus]
feel like i just walked right out of heaven
feel like i have damn near thrown my life away, hey
Scared, just like a child thats lost at seven
dont know what to do get back right with you
feel like i just walked right out of heaven
feel like i have damn near thrown my life away, hey yea yea
like a child thats lost at 7
dont know what to do feel like i just walk right out of heaven
[Bridge 1]
cant lie waiting for you all the time, suppose to move on with my life, and girl i tried and i tried
i feel like i can't walk, i feel like i can't talk girl i dont know what to do get back right with you i feel like i just
walked outta heaven
[Bridge 2-Wingo]
if u ever loved somebody, and if you ever had somebody, but you know that you hurt that somebody, let me here you say yea
[Chorus-repeat till fade]
feel like i just walked right out of heaven
feel like i done damn near thrown my life away, hey
scared just like a child thats lost at seven
dont know what to do to get back right with you
feel like i just walked right out of heaven
feel like i done damn near thrown my life away, hey yea yea
Scared just like a child thats lost at seven
dont know what to do feel like i just walk
feel like i just walked right out of heaven
feel like i done damn near thrown my life away, hey
scared just like a child thats lost at seven
dont know what to do feel like i just walk right out of heaven
feel like i just walked right out of heaven
feel like i done damn near thrown my life away, hey yea yea
scared just like a child thats lost at seven
dont know what to do feel like i just walk right out of heaven
song performed by by Jagged Edge
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Michael Jackson
I didn't get to say goodbye
I didn't get to tell you that I love you
I didn't even tell you how I feel
You left in a hurry
Without a sound
With no clues
I have to ask why
Why did you have to leave me
Why didn't you tell me how you feel
I don't understand
Why you left
Is it because the God wanted you
But I am selfish I won't share you
Not even with God
You were my hero
My idol
My star
You had my heart
And when you died
You took my heart with you
But that's okay
Because I know I will soon
Be with you
Then I can have my heart back
You are in heaven
Away from all this distruction
But I must ask
Why didn't you take me
Then I could of truly told you everything
You are older than I am
But I still love you
You made mistakes
But so have I
I didn't want us to be together
But I want us to be able to tell each other anything
I wanted us to become Great friends
But now you are gone
Gone to heaven
Is that the best thing
If so for who
You left millions of people
Heartbroken and sad
Gone to heaven
Must be good for you
No distruction
No evil
All good
I didn't say goodbye
And that is killing me
I didn't say all the things I wanted to
That's tearing me apart
I am going to miss you
But as you leave
Another comes
Maybe he wil be like you
But I would have died for you
I am crying my heart and soul out for you
Praying you know that I loved you
You changed millions of poeple's lives
Including myself
You made me believe
I can too feel the music
The beat is within my heart
Closing my eyes
Picturing you here
Is not the same
Of having you here
With all of us
You left behind
Your family
friends
fans
me
Would you have come back to us all
Or would you wait for us
Until our time comes
But now it's time for us to let you go
People will never forget
How you changed everything
We will miss you forever
But now it's time to say goodbye
So goodbye Michael Jackson
poem by Makayla Straight
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Sad to see him go
Its sad to see him go,
Go away to nothingness,
He made me feel pity for me,
Myself pity,
Pity that I should not feel for him,
He made me so mad that I should not feel sorry for him,
He comes and goes as he pleases in my life,
He made me feel as if I did not exist to him,
He should feel sorry for me cause I went through a lot ever since he left me with this broken heart,
Sad to see him go,
Its my fault that I didn’t try hard enough to be there for him yet he was never there for me in began with,
I have the rights to be anger with him,
He made me feel like I was losing my mind,
Sad to say that I do declare I have somewhat feel pity for him,
Yet so sad to see him go.
poem by Jennifer Rondeau
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Touchin' Up
I've been touched now
I don't believe it
Movin' much closer now
Here's my touch
Now please receive it
Let's do some more touchin' up
Let's do some more touchin' up
Well, he got sings to sing you
Made me feel good when the others didn't
And he got everything now
Made me come back when the others didn't
Uh-huh, ooh-ooh
Know your mind
There's something quite familiar in your eyes
Know your mind
There's something quite familiar
Something quite familiar
Coming around the bend
Coming around the bend
Stay out on your own
Made me feel good when the others didn't
Stay out on your own
Made me come back when the others didn't
Stay out on your own
Made me feel good when the others didn't
Stay out on your own
Made me come back when the others didn't
Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh, ooh-ooh
Comin' around again
All I wanna do's some touchin' up
Please let me do some touchin' up
(repeated to end)
song performed by by Gomez
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Don't Belong Here
We all have somewhere we belong
I been waiting to know where my place is
I know one place for me and is New Jersey
Coming here change my life so much
I just feel like I
Don’t belong here
I just want to leave here forever
After I made my mistakes
Everything change that I never picture
Will happend and what I have done
I didn’t expect any of this
I never learn from my mistakes and just keep doing
People keep blaming me,
Giving me dirty looks and stared at me
When someone told something to them
Rumors spread about me all the time
It never end and puting me down
I’m so sick of this people and this town
I didn’t mean to do any of this on purpose
I just couldn’t made up my mind
I don’t belong here
These people are jerks and just act nice because
They feel sorry for me
I feel sorry for them too
I’m just annoy and tiring by all this going on
I try and put all my strength into it
There nothing else I can do to make this people
Think different of me
So it best if I leave and leave all this memories behind
That I don’t want to remember
I just feel like I
Don’t belong here
poem by Christina Phan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Hate So Much
I hate how you started this
I hate how you ended this
I hate how I couldn’t talk to you
I hate how you couldn’t talk to me
I hate how you are
I hate how much we are the same
I hate how I thought I made you feel like I did
I hate how you made me feel happy
Because when I remember, it makes me feel sad
I hate how you lent me these feelings,
And jerked them right out of me
I hate myself for feeling this way,
And I hate the time spent lost
I hate how much I loved everything about you
I hate the things that remind
But that is everything
I will soon learn to stop hating,
And to love again
Only to hate once more.
Still believing lies
you told me i will never amount to nothing,
it's a lie i still believe,
i can't blame that i'm still a child,
even though at times i still feel like one,
everything that you did to me,
messed me up in more ways than i can say,
i know you didn't think twice,
about what you did to me,
you were only worried that you would get caught,
you knew it was wrong and you still did it,
now i'm left picking up the pieces,
and trying to fix my life the way i want it,
it's a struggle but i'm getting through it,
i'm still angery at what you did to me,
that would never go away,
like ppl say it will,
becuz i am reminded everytime i'm triggered,
it sad that a real man,
have to stand up and tell me,
that everything i'm going through,
was not my fault,
i continue to blame myself,
cuz it was what you told me,
i was sexy,
i make you feel a certain way,
i was a child,
how did i make you feel sexual towards me,
when i didn't even know what that was?
you made it my fault,
just so you won't feel bad,
about what you wanted to do,
i didn't deserve to be treated like a toy,
i didn't deserve to feel such fear,
for having and opinion,
that was different than yours,
but i did,
everything i felt,
i thought i deserved in some way,
the guilt, shame, and helplessness,
i carried it everyday,
and kinda didn't know why,
the more i open up,
the more i discover the person,
that i have been so afraid to get to know,
the more everything you said to me,
is starting to disappear.
poem by Mona Martinez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I'm trying to be open, but the past keep creeping in
i'm only human,
don't get mad,
i don't feel normal,
but i'm doing the best i can,
what you want is this perfect girl,
i don't think i will ever be her,
i'm a girl who numb her feeling,
just so i won't have to feel the pain,
the problem is not really you,
nor is it me,
i was delt a bad hand,
in this thing we call life,
i want to be what you see in me,
it just hard,
when my feelings over take my mind,
i freeze up,
but it's hiding behind my smile,
i don't let you see,
becuz i'm afraid that if i do,
you won't look at me,
the way you have been,
that look you get in your eyes,
is what makes me want to be a better person,
you see, what i'm too blind to see,
and yet, i'm worried that you might judge,
judge me for a past, i had no control over,
it makes me sick to think,
a grown guy can do that to a child,
turn them into their sex puppet,
it makes me sick just thinking about it,
but in my eyes i'm looking at you,
as if you are my abuser,
you are nothing like him,
and yet i'm so afraid to let you in,
let you get close,
i tell myself things that are not true,
just so i have a way out,
a way out of feeling the thing from the past,
but no matter what,
i'm pulled back into your charm,
who can resist?
i love your personality,
but it's what triggering my past memories,
i feel like i'm not normal,
becuz i'm afraid of anything sexual,
it shouldn't have to be this way,
but sadly it is,
i guess all i can say is,
i'm only human,
i don't always have to be perfect,
i can only be me,
it wasn't my fault,
what happened in my past,
all i can do is move on and learn.
poem by Mona Martinez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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You Were The Adult, I Was Just A Kid
you had control,
you made me feel special,
but something wasn't right,
questions were floating around,
of why i did the things i did,
the more there was,
the more secretive you became,
told me we couldn't continue,
if my parents found out,
but it didn't feel right,
you told me my parent would think i was lying,
guess what?
they did,
i created a war,
things gotten hard,
it was easy for me to admit i was lying,
than for ppl to question my judgement,
i was a kid,
you had a edge,
kids lie, easy out,
you made me depend on you,
and for what?
what did you ever do to me?
besides take advanage and kick me to the side,
you hurted me, in ways i couldn't understand,
until now, you coward,
couldn't admit to your actions,
because you,
know they were wrong,
and now becuz of you,
i understand why i don't trust,
it was one thing you took from me when i was young.
poem by Mona Martinez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Anger of a little girl
are you glad at what you did?
make me feel shame and guilt,
all for your little games,
how dare you put your hands on a child,
and talk down to her,
because she knew what was right,
but was scared of you,
your little games you played,
is what she feared most,
having to put herself,
into a world where she was safe,
because her reality sucked,
how can you be ok,
doing the things you put her through?
growing up feeling like it was her fault,
when in reality,
you were to weak to take responsiblity,
for your actions and what you did wrong,
she hated the smell of smoke,
it what she would smell,
when you were having your fun,
she hates anything that's sexual,
that is surpose to be noraml,
but yet she can't enjoy it,
flashbacks run through her mind,
replaying every sick thing you done to her,
what i'm surpose to do,
get over it?
act like i'm ok,
guess what?
i'm not ok,
all of those times you made me your favorite,
i would take being alone and ignored,
over everything you have did to me,
i hate you now and for always will,
but this anger that i'm feeling inside,
is starting to show,
on the people i care about,
and who i want in my future,
you are a sick pig,
and i wish i could of stand up to you,
but i was just a child than,
i felt so helpless and scared,
those lies you told me,
were coming true the more the truth got out,
so i try to reverse it and keep it to myself,
as years go on this secret i kept inside,
was eating me alive and stopping me,
from living a full life,
not again,
i'm trying to let you go,
but it hard because i am so angry,
but it hurting me more holding on to this
only a few people in my life understands,
this was a major event in my life,
it will take some time,
but i'm proud to say,
i'm sorting through the facts,
i'm finding who i am,
and i am discovering,
i am none of those things you said i was,
i'm loving, caring and talented,
all of the things i feel you try to take away,
but you can never take away,
somebody true self,
no matter how much you tear them down,
they will always get back up,
and start fighting there way to the top,
because nobody deserve to feel,
less than what they are.
poem by Mona Martinez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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For My Foster Sister (about growing up with mom drunk)
We used to run through the sprinkler
we double jumped & skipped rope
we danced along to the radio
our lives were filled with hope
then something made her dad leave
and soon her mom was always drunk
she didn't have clean clothes to wear
she often felt like a dirty punk
she didn't have anyone to talk to
and the shades were always pulled tight
her mom didn't want any noise
and hated when she turned on the light
she no longer made her lunch
and asleep when she came home
she wore a ratty bathrobe
and never used a comb
it's a good thing the house was paid for
so she never had to sleep in the street
but if she didn't cash in coke bottles
she would never have anything to eat
nobody ever called the cops
they lived out towards the woods
she learned how to steal real well
and that's how she brought home goods
Mom used her welfare money
to buy her favorite drink
she ate all her leftovers
and put dishes in the sink
She didn't want a foster family
but was too scared not to tell
the day she found her on the floor
she told me her mom wasn't well
But instead of speaking out
She left home that day
she slept under the railway pass
got to school, ran all the way
We don't know who called the cops
but they cornered her in the hall
took her to the counselors office
where she stood against the wall
They told her - she had to move
in with a foster family
She didn't want to leave her mom
but is how it was to be
She cried at the funeral
for a mom who wasn't there
and moved around a lot after that
her mom's death too much to bear
She graduated college
just the other day
that foster family that took her in
we helped her make her own way
She never thought she'd love again
after her mom was gone
but we've learned a lot since then
and we know her mom was wrong
When her dad left he took her pride
and she lost all control
she couldn't raise her by herself
with booze she drowned her soul
We've been to her grave
and planted a flower cover
cause even though she was a drunk
she still her mother
poem by Linda Racaniello
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Lost My Mind
i thought i lost my mind
the day i lost you
days go by
and i just wonder why
how can you leave?
you didn't see what you wanted
i questioned why you left so soon
nothing feels right
i'm barely making it through
i feel like breaking down
because of everything
i feel deep inside
it don't make sense
that i've lost purpose of being here
wouldn't you say?
i had everything
now it feels like i'm left with nothing
know the feeling?
have everything you wanted
gone before a good bye
how sad
can't do much
it won't get me anywhere
all i can do is live out our dream
that all you wanted from me
i just became blind sided from it
gave up only because i couldn't have you
still don't have a clue
but, i seem be making it through
that all i can do
that's all you wanted
i guess i just have to try
because i'm tired of crying
without you here
i just need these gray cloulds to clear
so can i start learning how to deal.
poem by Mona Martinez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Do Not Belong
Slave to the mind
It’s hard to find
The place that I belong....
Slave to the soul
I have played my role
To find where I belong
I do not belong here
I have done payed my fare
Why can’t I leave death?
I try until my last breath
You hold me here, hoping I’ll break
The happiness I hold is oh, so fake
I’m lost truly forgotten
In this world so begotten
I think now...why Death? Why hold me here?
And he answers.....Because of your fear
(Death) If I let you out you’ll get scared
(Death) Down here you have done fared
(Death) Very well I think isn’t depression joy?
I think not for a 14 year old boy...
I will leave Death, just you wait
(Death) I had you born on that fatal date!
(Death) Friday the Thirteenth I had you born
(Death) To have you walk this land as scorned
(Death) This is why I had you made
(Death) Depression is just a black parade
You had me made to live life of hate?
With this I will retaliate
I will fight against you, Death with all my might
To get past my petty fright
I’m afraid of life you know this Death
So you dragged me here into this depth
For the better of me? To help me be safe?
Ha! Your lies are beginning to chafe
(Death) But it’s true young child I only wished to help
Silence Death! Your voice is that of a young whelp!
I shall listen no longer I’m making my escape!
And leave to to this horrible fate
(Death) You think you can leave? Just like that?
(Death) I honor your courage with a tip of my hate
(Death) But you cannot escape here....It’s in your mind
In my mind you say? So devine!
I am in control of my mind
(Death) No, your not your just a fool
A fool who is stronger than you!
(Death) Stronger than Death? I think not
(Death) And now I will leave you here to rot
I’m over my fear and I will leave here
I’m leaving now Good Bye my dear
(Death) what’s this? Your truly leaving? But depression is your life!
I shall leave this world with a thrust of my knife
(Death) The world you say? Would you really?
I would do so absent-mindedly...
(Death) But we are here in your own mind
(Death) Would you kill yourself? I can’t really find
(Death) any doubt in your words...so ill leave just fine......
I have conquered you Death you said you were stronger!
....The lesson learned is I couldn’t be wronger
Death was warning me of the hates of this world
Makes everyone I know need to hurl
A lost love, a lost hope, a lost dream
Life isn’t as easy as it once seemed
That wasn’t Death I know this now
It was my own depression and it took its bow
It did a number on me I won’t recover
Not until a find another
Person just like me so we can talk
Maybe just take a little walk
And speak of our problems so we may be
Happy just like the world may seem
I have not found where I belong
But I am content with my little song
Made me feel better knowing the truths
Knowing my mind is aged well over my youth
With this my farewell I leave you here
Hoping that you know I hold all my friends dear
Written by Lucas Howes AKA Iruuka Blackheart
poem by Iruuka Blackheart
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Where I Belong
I tried to be 'badass'
it didn't work
I tried to be good
it made my head hurt
I'm stuck in the middle
I'm somewhere between
I'm lost, not forgotten
a drama queen
you may say I'm lying
'cause I made the scars
it's 'cause I feel lonely
under the stars
once I ran, ran away
to a Wonderland world
I wasn't alone there.
I was among friends...
perhaps that is where I
went wrong, all things said?
perhaps that is where I
belong, with the dead.
poem by Jereldene Calvert
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Unexplained Feeling
Unexplained feelings
When I first saw him
he took my heart away
Now I need someone to
put my heart at bay
him still on my mind after all this time
How did I mistake
love could be so blind
we took it faster then I thought we would
Only if I can go back
to change the past
would I
would I change it
I'm afraid not
would I have paced myself
and took it slower
or would I
would I have taken it slower
I'm afraid not
Only if I could have saw the signs
and just said no
were there signs
dose he think we went to fast
I don't think he dose
could I have said no
no I'm afraid not
It could have waited
could I have waited
no I'm afraid I couldn't
wait another day
wait another hour
wait another minute
or wait another second
I wanted him right then
and there
no I couldn't have waited
I had lost all control
did I want him
yes I wanted to be one with him
more then I've ever wanted someone
in that one night
I wanted more and more of him
more then I wanted of any one else
I couldn't get enough of him
the more he gave me
the more I wanted to do with him
I wanted to be with him and in a rush
I should have noticed more
that I was out of hand
and I was the one cheating
on the one I was supposed to love
but didn't anymore
When ever I'm near him my heart jumps
out of my chest
and lands in his hands
when I'm without him I feel ugly and gorgeous and the same time
ugly cause what I did with him while I was with another
gorgeous cause that is how he makes me feel
as gorgeous as a princess
as gorgeous as a bride on her wedding day
or as a sun set on a September day
There's noone to blame but me
I was the one that pushed
I was the one who wanted him
so bad that I cheated
I know what I have to do with the one
I was suppose to love
Only if I had a clue to make things new
would I
no I would not
cause that means I would have not felt
that fire that made my body lite up in flames
as our lips touched for the very first time
I would have started off on the right shoe
These feelings are so right how could they be wrong
these feelings are new they have to be true
these unexplained feeling I have for him
poem by Mrs. Cynosure
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Lost in Love.....
Lost in love
with the innocense of your eyes when i first saw you,
Lost in love
with your humble voice that made me crave for it even more,
Lost in love
when being friends we came to know the incompleteness in our lives,
Lost in love
with the nervousness i felt when i first expressed my love and emotions,
Lost in love
with the smell of your hairs that mesmerized me,
Lost in love
with the gulabi lips that took me to a dream world,
Lost in love
with the kissable hands that i always want to hold till eternal love,
Lost in love
with the sensuous touch of yours which made me feel heavenly,
Lost in love
with your heartbeat that made me feel very close to your heart,
Lost in love
with the ticklish tummy of yours that lightened my senses,
Lost in love
with the hug of yours which made me feel complete,
Lost in love
with the kiss of yours that lessened the gap between our souls,
Lost in love
with the pain you took to keep our relation,
Lost in love
when we were departed and alone,
Lost in love
with the undying feeling of yours that kept me awake all night,
Lost in love
when we have found our WAY BACK INTO LOVE.
poem by Villager Gulabo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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So Here I Am
There you are, here I am
Holding back, what I wish to say again
I can do it, but I can't seem to find the words
So I keep to myself, so sheltered
And once you leave, they come right back
But I don't have the courage to state the fact
Because I don't want changes to be
And I don't want you different towards me
So I kept, it to, myself
I knew what I wanted us to be
But I kept, it to, myself
And held it in when I wanted to speak
So here I am.
Now we're 16, at a party, of a friend of mine
You are here, and I wanted to say it, this time
But then I saw her, she kissed you
That struck deep; I broke in two
So I stayed there, all alone
And lost my chance to say it before you took her home
And once you left, they come right back
But I don't have the courage to state the fact
Because I don't want changes to be
And I don't want you different towards me
So I kept, it to, myself again
I knew what I wanted to say, everything
But I kept, it to, myself again
And held it in when I wanted to speak
So here I am.
Now we're 23
And I’m in the back row, of your wedding
Cause I didn't want anyone to see, the tears that I cried-
Not for her, but for you and me, and what we should be
Should I object? Make my move?
But by the time I made up my mind, the whole thing was through
And once you left, they come right back
But I didn't have the courage to state the fact
And I didn't want to confuse your wedding day
But I can't stand to watch you walk away
So I kept, it to, myself
I felt some hope, of what we could be
But I kept, it to, myself
And held it in when I wanted to speak
So here I am.
Now we’re 40, and look how big your kids have grown
Sometimes as I hug them, I still wish they were my own
And I still feel that light still burning; maybe it's not too late
But then I look into the eyes of your family, and I don't want to make a mistake
And once you leave the feelings come right back
But I didn't have the courage, to state the fact
Because I don't want to ruin, your family
And I don't them to think less of me
So I kept, it to, myself
I felt some hope, of what we could be
But I kept, it to, myself
And held it in when I wanted to speak
So here I am.
Now we're 70, and your great grandchildren are born
And I can see your face, through everyone
And sometimes when you're on your porch, I still want make a move
But I just stay inside, like an old ladies supposed to do
And once you leave, the feelings come right back
But I didn't have the courage, to state the fact
Because I don't want to ruin, your family
And I don't them to think of me differently
So I kept, it to, myself
Wishing I hadn't taken so long to believe
But I kept, it to, myself
And held it in when I wanted to speak
So here I am.
Now we're 90, and I'm at your funeral
Oh how these years went by so quickly, it's hard to believe you're gone
And I'm infuriated with myself, for not acing fast
And upset, because I never took that chance
So finally to the grave, I am able to say:
Now that you're gone, the feelings come right back
I now have to courage, to state the fact
But I am too late, waited too long
To take the chance, I dreamed upon
And I’ve I kept, it to, myself
Wishing I hadn't taken so long believe
I’ve kept, it all to, myself
And held it in when I wanted to speak
So here I am, without you
Sleeping these nights alone
So here I am, without you
Wishing, I would have came forward
So here I am.
And you're no where, to be seen
So here I am, without you
Missing you desperately
Now I'm at my funeral, on my way, to heaven
On my way to God, and still wishing for that blessing
And right when I walk in, through those pearly golden gates
You're right where I wanted, and finally I get my chance to say
And now we're here, the feelings came right back
I now have to courage, to state the fact
Because now you're here
And now I'm here
And I'm no longer, keeping this to myself
Because I've waited my whole life just to tell you how I felt
So here I am, with you
No longer, sleeping these nights alone
So here I am, with you
Proud that I finally came forward
So here I am.
poem by Sugar Bear
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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