The Indelible Word

The Indelible Word
Date: March 29,2012

I'll travel into tomorrow
With two poems in my pocket
And a cold beer in my hand
Knowing, as I've always known
That you cannot love
Yet, I cling fast to keep my muse alive

It is not "you" that I love so doggedly
It is the pain of your denial that wrings my heart
And drives me to your door time and time again
Groveling for words that scorch my soul

It is not your lips, your hair, your taste
That fuels the passion trapped within
It is merely your indifference that sends me frantic
To the inbox for one more insult
One more chance to fire up the furnace and fling venom across the lines

Love was never in the cards for us
Lust…definitely was, but never love…even in the simplest form
You are far too hard, and I, too wary for such as that
You enjoy the cold steel of the blade and I…the cut
Both gleaning a selfish pleasure from the pain

So remember my dear, with your final smear
You cannot scar me; or bleed me out beneath your shame
Never, will I break…beyond the retaliation of words
Where I will have the last laugh…the final indelible verse
With your secrets spilt to the world

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Copyright © 2012 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved

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I Guess You Never Knew

I Guess You Never Knew
Date: August 12,2012

Just who do you think you are
Should I thank you for these scars
What do you think you offer me?
I'm sorry sweets…I just don't see

It seems to me your gift is pain
Winter clouds of cold hard rain
Nothing warm to soothe my skin
The fire never reached within

I tried and tried, for just a spark
A glint to warm my hungry heart
But all that flamed was my desires
The fire was mine, but never ours

A simple touch, a soothing word
But what I got was cold and blurred
I gave my best, my soul still yearns
Across the page, my heartache burns

I don't know who you think you are
Starting fires and stealing hearts
Biting more than you can chew
Then pretending that, you never knew

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Copyright © 2012 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved

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Sipping Secrets

Sipping Secrets
Date: February 5,2012

I inhaled the splendor of his song
Drank the secrets capped with foam
Reveled in a fleeting breeze
To sip the nectar of his tease

I harbored hope, when there was none
Joined the games, just for fun
But soon I felt, trapped and tied
Prisoner to the fire inside

Forever hard to let it go
While warming by the golden glow
My heart is prone to giving in
Lured by passion to his sin

A bad boy dressed in stainless steel
Never allowed to see or feel
Living by another's creed
Still trying to find what he believes

The nights so cold, they froze my soul
Tied me to his whipping pole
And fire alone just seems to chill
With nothing more to haunt or thrill

So many seasons pass me by
But I won't fret, or waste a cry
Mistakes I've made are all my own
I've always known where I belong

The passion warms, while it last
A moment's fun, in the past
I know ahead, the dawn awaits
But, still the sun…won't see me break

I'll keep the whispers of his song
All the memories, I still own
No one can take my dreams away
They'll see me through the shades of gray

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Copyright © 2012 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved

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Lay Down In Ashes

Lay Down in Ashes
Date: February 18,2012

When green flies through the window
And love is on the ground
The morning dew is soundless
The sun cannot be found
When standing in the shadows
In the passing of a day
Whisper sweet my darling
If love can find the way
But if the sod is barren
The clay, cold and dry
My head will bend in sorrow
To see you passing by
Still, let the fire be nameless
The sparks burn to ash
Make haste into the sunshine
No time for looking back

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Copyright © 2012 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved

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Who's Skin Is It Anyway?

Who's Skin Is It Anyway?
Date: April 20,2012

Who suggest you…shall I point to
When you've plugged into my dreams
To suck marrow straight from my bones
Leaving me dried and salted on the shore

And who carries the finger
For the thorny path of red-yellow memories
Where the treasure trove is looted
Bearing the calamity of soot and fool's gold

And when razors cut fresh gashes on my soul
Bleeding my heart in hollow whispers of night
Who bears the tongue, sharpened and cold
Laying steel across my soft professes of love

I need to know…whose skin is it anyway?
Who hides in shame the passion of a fire burning
And who, my love…siphons victories from midnight chatter
Tiptoeing through life for fear of discovery

Can you tell me? Who… my pet?
Who sullies those nights of sweet confection?
Who whispers insincere taunts and slurs of degradation
But returns to the till, time and again
To sample the burning thrill of denial

Who is it my love? I beg to know…
For it is surely not I!
I will not deny my heart's desires…I will not pretend!
As I know…'I' am the fire you crave! ! !

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Copyright © 2012 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved

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Not Today...Or Tomorrow

Not Today…Or Tomorrow
Date: September 29,2012

My fire, my burning lover
Your flames do sear me still
I've writhed beneath the fury
But yet, to claim my fill

Your whisper's sweet, seductive
My veins rage with desire
A spark of your persuasion
I too…am forged of fire

Your lips so bold, so hungry
Such brazen, hawkish need
So greedy, all consuming
Yet, anxious still to feed

One touch, and I am taken
Enraptured…captured…thrilled
In breathless sighs, confessing
My secrets…whispered, spilled

How easily you command me
So sure, you play this game
A thrill takes me to places
That words cannot explain

I'm chained to this obsession
Though fate don't give a wink
How long this passion lingers
How deep in love I sink

Oh, my burning lover
There's so much we failed to say
We'll burn for all eternity
Yet…never for a day

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Copyright © 2012 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved

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Thread Lightly As You Go

Thread Lightly As You Go
Date: February 26,2012


Tread lightly on my heart, sweetheart
Speak soft, and gently go
For locked behind the walls of steel
The pain of sorrow grows

Locked within a rusty cage
A dream in pieces lies
Like diamonds of a moonlit night
Torn from the midnight skies

Whilst round and round, the whispers
Float gentle in the gloom
Just memories in a garden
Where once our passion bloomed

Time has laid to rest, my love
The blooming of my heart
In cold and lifeless slumber
It perished in the dark

Tread lightly, love…tread lightly
So fragile is the glass
Tis fraught with many fractures
And wounds of seasons past

The wind outside is ruthless
The days…so long and cold
A thief of bright tomorrow's
Stepped in to steal our gold

Like a puzzle left unfinished
A poem without an end
My passion's loosed and fraying
No soul to help it mend

Thread lightly, dear…thread lightly
Speak soft, and gently go
Leave only care and mercy
To tend the seeds you sowed

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Copyright © 2012 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved

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To You, To You

To You, To You
Date: March 13,2011

I give my heart, my soul, my world
To you, to you, to you
All of me, my everything
I give to you, to you

Whispers blowing in the wind
The skies of striking blue
All the fire that burns in me
I give to you, to you

The passion of my tender heart
Burns fast, and fierce and true
All the flames that I embrace
I give to you, to you

I give my words, my song, my verse
To you, to you, to you
All the magic of my dreams
I give to you, to you

Take my voice, my thoughts, my sighs
I give them all to you
Please harbor safe, my precious dove
This love I give to you

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Copyright © 2011 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved

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Ode To My Gumption (Or Lack Thereof)

Ode To My Gumption (Or Lack Thereof)
Date: January 20,2012

I’ve written more prose, rhyme and drivel than I care to think
I’ve sang trite ballads of love and loss
Lamented of how you tore me from the sky
Then discarded me like a well smoked butt
And in between
I baked casseroles filled with our passions
Flambéed them with fire and tidbits of doubt
I slathered on oils of flattery, some sweetened, some spiced
Then dressed myself in finery to parade
On the thin ice of yesteryear’s dreams
I’ve stood in blizzards, decades long
Knocking on the door, but knowing damn well
I’d never be asked inside
I’ve sat down time and again, trying to pull my teeth
Scraping my innards dry in hopes of understanding
The words to the simplest songs
And, time and again, I’ve come up empty
“Dryer than a popcorn fart”, my grand maw would say
I’ve let the seasons roll on and over me
Cold, like winter rain
Never once putting my foot down
To dropkick the ball back into my court
Crazy, how love jacks the brain
Most of the time it seems a damn sight more torment
Than pleasure
Yet I’ve chased it like a dog for a bone
In hindsight, I have to ask
Where the hell did I leave my gumption?
Perhaps tied out in the rain, while I blubbered on of a broken heart
After all these years, one thing’s for certain
I could darn sure use some now and then

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Copyright © 2012 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved

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Death Must Be Like Dying

Death Must Be Like Dying
Date: March 30,2012

Death must be like dying
A slow swirl circling the drain
Allowing a final release…
Cutting loose the fire I've savored
The passion I've held tight to my heaving breast
It sure feels like dying, whispers steal my dying breathe
Letting go what I've touched and cherished as my own
I've laid down the promise of twilight
Exhausted from the load
I can't climb from this prison anymore
Or stand to see my soul beaten down again, again
God knows I've tried…tried so hard
To release the beast that burdens me
It clings like cancer to my soul
Heavy…like sacks of sand or wet cement
I tremble beneath the weight
Wondering, wondering…
Who can say the truth of this place
Admit the defeat, lay down the stone
Then rise to fly again…

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Copyright © 2012 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved

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Burn Baby Burn

Burn Baby Burn
Date: January 15,2012

I’m burning myself in the midday sun
While shielding my soul
And pretending to run
Yet, I’m still holding on
When I should let go
It’s a strange paradox
So hot, yet so cold

I’m lost in the chant of a cold winter rain
And yet I keep listening
Though it’s causing me pain
I keep holding my breath
While waiting to see
If my life will move on
And where it’ll take me

I’m so tied to emotions
That I try to forget
But, try as I might
I’m forsaken as yet
Why do I still cling
To this cold barren dream
When it’s full of illusions
And cruel heartless schemes

I search for my muse
In the wind and the rain
But my hands are left empty
And my soul is left drained
Seems I can’t turn the page
With this hole in my heart
It just doesn’t make sense
I still hide in the dark

I keep asking myself
My question the same
Why keep rolling the dice
When I’m losing the game
Why do I continue
To offer my heart
When I know that it’s useless
There’s no fire in the spark

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Copyright © 2011 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved

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I Cannot Go, I Cannot Stay

I Cannot Go, I Cannot Stay
Date: July 10,2012

I cannot go
I cannot stay
So cruel a heart
To feel this way
Chained and rusted
To the fence
Too tired to stand
In its defense

The vine is twisted
My soul's at risk
A pull so strong
It can't resist
The drumming sound
Of every beat
Has passion spilling
In the ink

Back and forth
The trapeze flies
A rainbow blurring
In my eyes
Set on dreams
Out of reach
Never finding
A moment's peace

Love and hate
Between the lines
Each are looking
For the signs
So cruel a heart
To feel this way
I cannot go
I cannot stay

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Copyright © 2012 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved

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Sweet Dreams

Sweet Dreams
Date: August 11,2012

Do not suffer as I sleep
When ‘cross my lips, a stillness creeps
As I will pass this way again
I have not died, I'm here my friend
Whispers of a passing breeze
Will bring to life sweet memories
And butterflies that softly land
Will be as I, to kiss your hand
Sweet as berries from the vine
You'll recall these lips of mine
I have not gone away in death
I did not breathe my final breath
Deep in your heart I shall remain
A joyful spark, an endless flame
So do not grieve when I have gone
I would not leave your heart alone
Spare the tears and sad goodbyes
As, I'll be here, when you close your eyes

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Copyright © 2012 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved

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The Extra Mile

The Extra Mile
Date: July 13,2012

My longing remains unclaimed
Flustered by the winds of change
Whipped around and tossed awry
Leaving me to wonder why

The perfect match, would set aflame
A perfect love, not silly games
A fire that burns without remorse
Not some hoax or Trojan horse

A passion true, would never hide
Would walk ahead and push aside
If mountains high, obscure the path
Come tumbling down, beneath its wrath

A love that life allows to be
Would not be swayed by trickery
Would have no need for tricks or guile
Would always go the extra mile

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Copyright © 2012 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved

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You Rang?

You Rang?
Date: July 5,2012

I see that you have called
Again, you have called
Perhaps in some sad belief
That you cannot be denied

I've heard it said
"You get what you give in this life"
And I believe it to be true
Perhaps…you should too!

I see that you have called
Sporting the same old howl
With conceit that does not interest me
You are brass, and nerve, and pride

Your ego grates my peace of mind
Like nails against a chalkboard
It's the incessant squall of vanity
That wears thin my patience

I see that you have called
But fall silent when looked upon
Like a frightened child, you hide your face in shadows
For fear of being seen

There's no need to pass this way again
There's no shoulder on which to rest
No ear to listen
And there is no heart to bruise or break

I see that you have called
With any luck, may it be your last
As it will go unanswered
It will be ignored…

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Copyright © 2012 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved

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Only You

Only You
Date: December 9,2011

Only your words
Can set the pace
Growing strong
Finding grace
Only your smile
Buying time
Feigning courage
Drinking wine
Only your pride
Can cast aside
Embrace the passion
Trapped inside
Only your spirit
Will feel the loss
Reeling from
The excessive cost
Only your love
Can pave the way
To rise above
Your doubts today

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Copyright © 2011 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved

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A Chat With My Heart

A Chat With My Heart
Date: January 19,2012


I sat down lonely on the floor
Turned the key
Unlocked the door
I let the passion flood my view
I hoped some light
Would filter through
I asked my heart
To seek what's real
To dig down deep to what it feels
I begged to know the reasons why
It clings like life, to alibies
And while chained to my attention
I had to know if it's pretension
To understand why it defends
And acts so blind, that it pretends
Yet, no matter what I say
A heart should never
Act this way
It's stubborn to my dying breath
I still don't know the answers yet

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Copyright © 2012 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved

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Man! ...What A Bonehead!

Man…What A Bonehead!
Date: September 11,2012

Now…who's the idiot?
Finally, you've come to know what I've always known
You finally realize…with so much time gone by
And "too" much water under the bridge
What caused the rage in your soul
You played a tired song for year upon year
So fierce and hard you were…talking like a man on fire
Always goading the innocent…stirring the honey pot
Until the bees swarmed up, and you were stung
How predictable…you ran off and hid like a frightened child
Holding tight, the apron stings
You stood there coughing, sputtering…but unable to rewind the song
Or dislodge the slime caught in your throat

Oh, but you savored the flavor to the last drop
Testing, testing…always testing the waters
Until you fell through the ice and drowned yourself
And now you lay there, dead as the proverbial doornail
Holding tight, the limp memories of your desires
And wondering why you threw it all away

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Copyright © 2012 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved

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I Will Rise

I Will Rise / DRAFT
Date: June 27,2012

We have lost the warmth of flames
Stifled by the silence of our secrets
As quietly as we came to touch
We let go the hand that held us

No one knew the flutters of my heart
Or discerned the fever of my desires
Only for you, I spoke in whispers
Only for you, your secrets kept

But as the sun rose on our history
I was burned by the flames of disdain
And as I searched for you, spoke your name aloud
I was answered by the lips of a stranger

I stood brave as the sun melted away before my eyes
Numbing me in the heartbreak of resignation
My hopes dashed as I laid down our whispers
Freeing them to dissolve into your shadow

I am still reeling in bittersweet confusion
Struggling to see the light beyond the clouds
Time, so cruel, has stolen my sighs
Revealing to me, a treasure, no more than fool's gold

I held my breath for you, sang to open fields of silence
I stood alone on the shore to watch you play in the distance
Creeping close, in the veil of secrecy, to speak to you in whispers
My heart hopeful for a chance to understand

But as I stood eye to eye with my undoing
I saw the truth that I refused for a decade long
Dispassionate eyes drilled cold and hard into my soul
I found no lover, no ally, no friend

Your refuse was my treasure, sweetheart
Your plaything…my heart
Though I bleed, I refuse to sink beneath the stones of my sorrow
And I will not allow shallow waters to drown me

I will make my way to the shore, and stand on my own two feet
I will find my voice, my passion, amid the debris
I will gather my fire, and I will sing again…
I will sing again…

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Copyright © 2012 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved

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Flash and Flame

Flash and Flame
Date: January 17,2012

I’d rather live in this distress
No thoughts revealed or dreams confessed
I’d rather sing in broken rhyme
Than dare reverse the hands of time
No other life could hold as dear
As the fleeting moments when he is near
I’d rather bear this life of pain
Than never taste his lips again
No other soul could sing to me
Those scalding thoughts in reverie
I’d rather wait with heart ablaze
Than fall forever from his gaze
No other flesh can hold as true
The flame that burns me through and through
I’d rather die in a dark abyss
Than be denied his hungry kiss
He won me with his flash and flame
My heart forever, his to tame

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Copyright © 2011 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved

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Take The Fire

Take The Fire
Date: January 17,2012

Take the fire away from me
Never more again to see
There’s no spirit to rouse and warm
Only smoke, my eyes to burn
The beauty of a snow white swan
Is smothered by the flaunt and fawn
Tarnished kisses charge the air
To whisper false of grand affairs
A bright red rose, wrapped in thorns
Defies the passion, vowed and sworn
So take the fire, I have no need
It burns of lust, it burns of greed

************************************ *********
Copyright © 2011 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved

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