Ode To My Gumption (Or Lack Thereof)
Ode To My Gumption (Or Lack Thereof)
Date: January 20,2012
I’ve written more prose, rhyme and drivel than I care to think
I’ve sang trite ballads of love and loss
Lamented of how you tore me from the sky
Then discarded me like a well smoked butt
And in between
I baked casseroles filled with our passions
Flambéed them with fire and tidbits of doubt
I slathered on oils of flattery, some sweetened, some spiced
Then dressed myself in finery to parade
On the thin ice of yesteryear’s dreams
I’ve stood in blizzards, decades long
Knocking on the door, but knowing damn well
I’d never be asked inside
I’ve sat down time and again, trying to pull my teeth
Scraping my innards dry in hopes of understanding
The words to the simplest songs
And, time and again, I’ve come up empty
“Dryer than a popcorn fart”, my grand maw would say
I’ve let the seasons roll on and over me
Cold, like winter rain
Never once putting my foot down
To dropkick the ball back into my court
Crazy, how love jacks the brain
Most of the time it seems a damn sight more torment
Than pleasure
Yet I’ve chased it like a dog for a bone
In hindsight, I have to ask
Where the hell did I leave my gumption?
Perhaps tied out in the rain, while I blubbered on of a broken heart
After all these years, one thing’s for certain
I could darn sure use some now and then
************************************* ********
Copyright © 2012 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved
poem by Leria Hawkins
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Indelible Word
The Indelible Word
Date: March 29,2012
I'll travel into tomorrow
With two poems in my pocket
And a cold beer in my hand
Knowing, as I've always known
That you cannot love
Yet, I cling fast to keep my muse alive
It is not "you" that I love so doggedly
It is the pain of your denial that wrings my heart
And drives me to your door time and time again
Groveling for words that scorch my soul
It is not your lips, your hair, your taste
That fuels the passion trapped within
It is merely your indifference that sends me frantic
To the inbox for one more insult
One more chance to fire up the furnace and fling venom across the lines
Love was never in the cards for us
Lust…definitely was, but never love…even in the simplest form
You are far too hard, and I, too wary for such as that
You enjoy the cold steel of the blade and I…the cut
Both gleaning a selfish pleasure from the pain
So remember my dear, with your final smear
You cannot scar me; or bleed me out beneath your shame
Never, will I break…beyond the retaliation of words
Where I will have the last laugh…the final indelible verse
With your secrets spilt to the world
************************************ *********
Copyright © 2012 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved
poem by Leria Hawkins
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Lay Down In Ashes
Lay Down in Ashes
Date: February 18,2012
When green flies through the window
And love is on the ground
The morning dew is soundless
The sun cannot be found
When standing in the shadows
In the passing of a day
Whisper sweet my darling
If love can find the way
But if the sod is barren
The clay, cold and dry
My head will bend in sorrow
To see you passing by
Still, let the fire be nameless
The sparks burn to ash
Make haste into the sunshine
No time for looking back
************************************* ********
Copyright © 2012 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved
poem by Leria Hawkins
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Burn Baby Burn
Burn Baby Burn
Date: January 15,2012
I’m burning myself in the midday sun
While shielding my soul
And pretending to run
Yet, I’m still holding on
When I should let go
It’s a strange paradox
So hot, yet so cold
I’m lost in the chant of a cold winter rain
And yet I keep listening
Though it’s causing me pain
I keep holding my breath
While waiting to see
If my life will move on
And where it’ll take me
I’m so tied to emotions
That I try to forget
But, try as I might
I’m forsaken as yet
Why do I still cling
To this cold barren dream
When it’s full of illusions
And cruel heartless schemes
I search for my muse
In the wind and the rain
But my hands are left empty
And my soul is left drained
Seems I can’t turn the page
With this hole in my heart
It just doesn’t make sense
I still hide in the dark
I keep asking myself
My question the same
Why keep rolling the dice
When I’m losing the game
Why do I continue
To offer my heart
When I know that it’s useless
There’s no fire in the spark
************************************ *********
Copyright © 2011 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved
poem by Leria Hawkins
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Guess You Never Knew
I Guess You Never Knew
Date: August 12,2012
Just who do you think you are
Should I thank you for these scars
What do you think you offer me?
I'm sorry sweets…I just don't see
It seems to me your gift is pain
Winter clouds of cold hard rain
Nothing warm to soothe my skin
The fire never reached within
I tried and tried, for just a spark
A glint to warm my hungry heart
But all that flamed was my desires
The fire was mine, but never ours
A simple touch, a soothing word
But what I got was cold and blurred
I gave my best, my soul still yearns
Across the page, my heartache burns
I don't know who you think you are
Starting fires and stealing hearts
Biting more than you can chew
Then pretending that, you never knew
************************************* ********
Copyright © 2012 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved
poem by Leria Hawkins
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Chat With My Heart
A Chat With My Heart
Date: January 19,2012
I sat down lonely on the floor
Turned the key
Unlocked the door
I let the passion flood my view
I hoped some light
Would filter through
I asked my heart
To seek what's real
To dig down deep to what it feels
I begged to know the reasons why
It clings like life, to alibies
And while chained to my attention
I had to know if it's pretension
To understand why it defends
And acts so blind, that it pretends
Yet, no matter what I say
A heart should never
Act this way
It's stubborn to my dying breath
I still don't know the answers yet
************************************** *******
Copyright © 2012 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved
poem by Leria Hawkins
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Sipping Secrets
Sipping Secrets
Date: February 5,2012
I inhaled the splendor of his song
Drank the secrets capped with foam
Reveled in a fleeting breeze
To sip the nectar of his tease
I harbored hope, when there was none
Joined the games, just for fun
But soon I felt, trapped and tied
Prisoner to the fire inside
Forever hard to let it go
While warming by the golden glow
My heart is prone to giving in
Lured by passion to his sin
A bad boy dressed in stainless steel
Never allowed to see or feel
Living by another's creed
Still trying to find what he believes
The nights so cold, they froze my soul
Tied me to his whipping pole
And fire alone just seems to chill
With nothing more to haunt or thrill
So many seasons pass me by
But I won't fret, or waste a cry
Mistakes I've made are all my own
I've always known where I belong
The passion warms, while it last
A moment's fun, in the past
I know ahead, the dawn awaits
But, still the sun…won't see me break
I'll keep the whispers of his song
All the memories, I still own
No one can take my dreams away
They'll see me through the shades of gray
************************************* ********
Copyright © 2012 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved
poem by Leria Hawkins
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Sharks Teeth
Sharks Teeth
Date: February 21,2012
You gathered me in shadows
Spurned me in the light
At noon, your teeth sharpened
At dusk, you're taking sight
Caught between the crosshairs
A victim…aye, the prey
My heart, an easy target
A simple lot to slay
A meal of easy pickings
Like rabbit in a snare
Your rage is fired upon me
A shot to burn the air
A moment then it's over
Your motives met the mark
You feast upon your victory
Circling like a shark
************************************ *********
Copyright © 2012 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved
poem by Leria Hawkins
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Cannot Go, I Cannot Stay
I Cannot Go, I Cannot Stay
Date: July 10,2012
I cannot go
I cannot stay
So cruel a heart
To feel this way
Chained and rusted
To the fence
Too tired to stand
In its defense
The vine is twisted
My soul's at risk
A pull so strong
It can't resist
The drumming sound
Of every beat
Has passion spilling
In the ink
Back and forth
The trapeze flies
A rainbow blurring
In my eyes
Set on dreams
Out of reach
Never finding
A moment's peace
Love and hate
Between the lines
Each are looking
For the signs
So cruel a heart
To feel this way
I cannot go
I cannot stay
************************************* ********
Copyright © 2012 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved
poem by Leria Hawkins
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Take The Fire
Take The Fire
Date: January 17,2012
Take the fire away from me
Never more again to see
There’s no spirit to rouse and warm
Only smoke, my eyes to burn
The beauty of a snow white swan
Is smothered by the flaunt and fawn
Tarnished kisses charge the air
To whisper false of grand affairs
A bright red rose, wrapped in thorns
Defies the passion, vowed and sworn
So take the fire, I have no need
It burns of lust, it burns of greed
************************************ *********
Copyright © 2011 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved
poem by Leria Hawkins
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Love It or Leave It
Love It Or Leave It
Date: February 2,2011
Come to me forever, love
Or entice me, nevermore
There is no in-between, my dear
The ocean meets the shore
I forsake the useless drivel
If barren of your desire
And decline the bone dry kisses
From lips devoid of fire
I shan't extend a tender hand
When thy heart in greed must hide
Nor will I lie beneath your weight
When my heart is denied
I'll ignore the whispering winds
When smoke obscures my view
And nevermore to search in vain
For stars that shine of you
My breath will cease to speak thy name
Yet inked upon the rhyme
Is passion flaming from the heart
That burns of love sublime
I'll offer firm resistance
To hold my wolves at bay
And turn with a conviction
That flattery cannot sway
I'll beg not for affection
Or pout when you decline
I'll simply turn my heart away
And leave the fire behind
So come to me forever, love
Or free me from this snare
A decade of indecisiveness
Is more than what is fair
************************************* ********
Copyright © 2011 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved
poem by Leria Hawkins
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Flash and Flame
Flash and Flame
Date: January 17,2012
I’d rather live in this distress
No thoughts revealed or dreams confessed
I’d rather sing in broken rhyme
Than dare reverse the hands of time
No other life could hold as dear
As the fleeting moments when he is near
I’d rather bear this life of pain
Than never taste his lips again
No other soul could sing to me
Those scalding thoughts in reverie
I’d rather wait with heart ablaze
Than fall forever from his gaze
No other flesh can hold as true
The flame that burns me through and through
I’d rather die in a dark abyss
Than be denied his hungry kiss
He won me with his flash and flame
My heart forever, his to tame
************************************* ********
Copyright © 2011 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved
poem by Leria Hawkins
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Circling, Circling
Circling, Circling…
Date: December 5,2012
Circling back to scene of the crime
Laying it down, repeating the rhyme
Like falling falling, torn from the sky
Still fanning the flame that passed me by
Cloud nine floating just above my head
I keep reaching for the stars instead
It's a grand illusion that can never be
I've blocked it out, I refuse to see
I'm burned up, burned out, I can't admit
Cause I've held too long to call it quits
A fire still burns deep inside
If only a spark, could turn the tide
So I circle back to the scene of the crime
Singing my songs, repeating the rhyme
Beating the drum for all that its worth
Waiting for wishes to move heaven and earth
Cloud nine's waiting for me to grab hold
With a silver lining, that shines like gold
If I'd just let go of the other side
I'd finally be free of my injured pride
I'm burned up, burned out, I can't admit
My heart's refused to consider it
There's just no way that the fire would lie
Could it really be, has the passion died?
I keep circling, circling the scene of the crime
Looking past the grit, ignoring the grime
Breaking promises to the looking glass
Pretending my pain is a thing of the past
************************************* ********
Copyright © 2012 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved
poem by Leria Hawkins
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Deeper Shade Of Gray
A Deeper Shade Of Gray
Date: January 12,2012
With every piece you take away
I paint a deeper shade of gray
Someday the canvas will be filled
My voice unheard, my passion stilled
Locked away in caverns deep
The embers glow, in twilight sleep
Never once to breathe the air
Nor dream to life, what isn’t there
The flames are stifled by abuse
Though I fight, there is no use
Too many days, I’ve wondered why
To chase so hard, what you deny
But I won’t plead or beg of you
I made a vow, I’ll keep it true
And when you look into my eyes
What you’ll see, is clear and dry
Cause, I see through the flattery
Falling snow cannot touch me
You shut me out, and left me cold
I’ll find some other hand to hold
My emotions, you picked apart
Came picking, picking at my heart
Until I had no more to give
Your hurtful games, I won’t relive
As, I know there is no magic here
Behind the cunning puppeteer
And hidden in the songs you sing
Are candied words, wrapped in strings
I’ll stand no more, filled with doubt
I’ve locked it down, won’t let it out
And in those deepening shades of gray
My fond desire fades away…
************************************ *********
Copyright © 2011 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved
poem by Leria Hawkins
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Understand 'Fantasy
Will there ever be a place in your heart
Or is this thing, just fire and sparks
A burn that's held me, decades long
How can it flame, and still be wrong
If not for love, then just for spite
I'll hold on with my dying might
You cannot rip this love from me
I'll hold it tight, you wait and see
Midnight finds you in the burn
Sleep won't come, you toss and turn
Up at two, you still can't sleep
You fry the wires, ‘stead counting sheep
I'm not angry, won't make demands
I've simply failed to understand
What keeps you coming back for more
When you don't understand what a heart is for
Countless times, I've tried to break free
But your iron clad grips gotta hold on me
Why not just let me slip away
No debt is due, no price to pay
What keeps you tied to my life
When my whispers cut you like a knife
I guess its luck that you can't bleed
Or feel the grief you've given me
No tenderness, no promises made
Why carry on this masquerade
Take off your mask and face the truth
My heart's the only one you use
Baby, I can love, without your songs
I've loved you for so very long
But I understand this fantasy
And that's all this love will ever be
*************************************** ******
Copyright © 2012 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved
poem by Leria Hawkins
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Drilling Holes
Drilling Holes
Date: May 6,2012
I crowd into this dungeon
Where chemicals scoop out the rot
From my brain. I lay flat bellied
Drool dripping from the jar
Inside the dream, my curtains are black. They are
Blowing, blowing, blowing, away the whispers from
My dead eyes. Dark stains puddle the carpet
And I laugh, weep, for no particular reason
I took hold the cup and sucked it dry
My mouth is fat and sated
So, I've no need for more thick black tar.
Else my tongue will turn bitter, bitter, bitter
Jealous of the instant coffee steaming from my cup.
It's poured, black, hot, and artificially sweetened
Perfect, to wash down the drone
Of jackhammers squealing false promises to my soul
The cobwebs have grown thick
Across the doors but I still hear the ocean's
Droning kiss through the cold of twilight fog.
It keeps whispering…goodbye, goodbye.
Seems my mouth has
Grown hair and I spit to expel
The poison. I dredge and dredge
Scooping flies from bile filled rivers.
And I lay here…mind swimming against the tide
Blowing thoughts past the window... in and out
In and out of the sunshine. Tidbits curl like lies
To a stranger and I hear the tap, tap, tapping
Of songs…the words long forgotten
La, la, la…whispers like a feather in the dark
Tickling my elbow. Someone's digging
Trying to wake my confessions.
Ghosts wail, behind these walls
Drilling holes two inches apart in my soul
And the wolves are at the door
Hose in hand…ready to siphon away my secrets
They scribble blood stains on their lined white pads
But, I look past them, refuse to unlock the door
Go away, go the hell away
I scream…can't you see my grave
Leave me to my brine and bone
I'd rather be alone. cause I don't want to know
Someone new. There's no new dress to wear
Out there on those empty streets
I'm naked here, and that's how I like it
My flesh is still hot from the iron
Can't you smell it….the heat?
My wounds whisper to you, leave us, leave us
Leave us to suffer in our cold dark vessel
But those damned vulture's just won't fly
Until they pry and pry, to steal away my words
Peck, peck, pecking…always pecking at my eyes
Trying to dig up my depraved soul
************************************* ********
Copyright © 2012 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved
poem by Leria Hawkins
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Rose For All Seasons
A Rose For All Seasons
Date: January 15,2012
This I compare to the raging vein
When spring gives birth to renewing rain
For never was a bloom so rare
As the golden treasures growing there
For soon the summer skies burn down
Yet still the blush, comes furling round
The cardinals’ cage alive, entwined
By a single rose, from thorn-less vine
A breath and then the summer slows
The bud inside the cage still grows
Though winds rise up to bring a change
For autumn’s hues to rearrange
Yet, in the caverns waning light
The embers glow to warm the night
No frost or snow could fail or fade
This ever growing serenade
For love plants deep the tender seed
A winter bloom that waits for spring
*********************************** **********
Copyright © 2011 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved
poem by Leria Hawkins
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Let's Just Try
Let's Just Try
Date: September 19,2012
I'm trying to forgive the hurt
For all you've said and done
I'm trying hard to understand
Though my heart tells me to run
I'm trying hard to find a way
To lay down the grief and doubt
I'm trying hard, so very hard
To chase the demons out
I'm trying still, to turn a cheek
To forget the bitter blows
I'm trying now, with all my might
To rise above the snow
I'm really trying to accept your faults
And understand mine too
I'm really trying to make things right
We've still so much to do
I'm trying, trying to be strong
To bear the crippling weight
Trying hard to make a change
I hope it's not too late
I'll keep on trying, yes I will
As long as you try too
Because for me, it's worth the strife
To keep on loving you
********************************** ***********
Copyright © 2012 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved
poem by Leria Hawkins
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Only You
Only You
Date: December 9,2011
Only your words
Can set the pace
Growing strong
Finding grace
Only your smile
Buying time
Feigning courage
Drinking wine
Only your pride
Can cast aside
Embrace the passion
Trapped inside
Only your spirit
Will feel the loss
Reeling from
The excessive cost
Only your love
Can pave the way
To rise above
Your doubts today
************************************ *********
Copyright © 2011 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved
poem by Leria Hawkins
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Thousand Miles
A Thousand Miles
Date: September 19,2012
I thought we were at home
Under the roof we share
I totally missed the signals
I thought that you were there
I didn't see you whisper
Or turn your heart away
I was so busy, being busy
That I thought we were okay
I thought the bed we shared
Was home enough for you
I didn't see the struggle
That you were going through
You say I leave you lonely
Those words still break my heart
Because, I thought we were at home
Not a thousand miles apart
************************************ *********
Copyright © 2012 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved
poem by Leria Hawkins
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Thread Lightly As You Go
Thread Lightly As You Go
Date: February 26,2012
Tread lightly on my heart, sweetheart
Speak soft, and gently go
For locked behind the walls of steel
The pain of sorrow grows
Locked within a rusty cage
A dream in pieces lies
Like diamonds of a moonlit night
Torn from the midnight skies
Whilst round and round, the whispers
Float gentle in the gloom
Just memories in a garden
Where once our passion bloomed
Time has laid to rest, my love
The blooming of my heart
In cold and lifeless slumber
It perished in the dark
Tread lightly, love…tread lightly
So fragile is the glass
Tis fraught with many fractures
And wounds of seasons past
The wind outside is ruthless
The days…so long and cold
A thief of bright tomorrow's
Stepped in to steal our gold
Like a puzzle left unfinished
A poem without an end
My passion's loosed and fraying
No soul to help it mend
Thread lightly, dear…thread lightly
Speak soft, and gently go
Leave only care and mercy
To tend the seeds you sowed
************************************ *********
Copyright © 2012 Leria Hawkins, All Rights Reserved
poem by Leria Hawkins
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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