Nothing to Gain
I can not override your guilt maintained
By sweetening my experiences,
I alone have obtained.
Nor can I overlook my scars,
My smile might hide to camouflage.
I am not here to convince,
My emotions are contained by not wincing.
Nor make attempts to refrain from my own pain.
And I surely have nothing to gain,
By revealing my healing to you.
I am not one to wallow away in shade digressing...
Who's point of view I should have,
Or had not comprehended or accepted to pursue.
I have other things on my mind to do!
When I forgive and forget...
I move on from it,
And I am through!
If and when I do give blood...
Whether for charity,
Or from a wound that has been inflicted.
It will still drip from my own veins.
Standing, sitting or unconscious as it drips,
The 'me' I am still remains!
And I will not be seeking anyone's assessment...
Or interpretation as to how that feels.
As a sensation instigated by one fascinated.
There are too many like that...
Anticipating to be baited!
No one will know that but me.
And I am not into dramatic exaggerations.
Nor repeated self beatings,
To relive to incite my peace.
And 'that' has been well deserved!
Like a dessert I love that has been served.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
10.15 Saturday Night
10.15
Saturday night
And the tap drips
Under the strip light
And i'm sitting
In the kitchen sink
And the tap drips
Drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip
Waiting
For the telephone to ring
And i'm wondering
Where she's been
And i'm crying
For yesterday
And the tap drips
Drip drip drip drip drip drip drip drip
It's always the same
song performed by by Cure
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Drip, drip, drip
tears roll down my face
drip, drip, drip
that's all I hear as the tears fall
in the dark
I sit alone as blood runs down my arm
and mixes with my tears
drip, drip, drip
my door is locked
my knife is a deadly scarlet
getting closer every time
to the veins I desirer
drip, drip, drip
I push the blade deeper into my arm
it hurts but it's a good pain
a knock at the door
I grab my friend and scream
as I find the veins I want
drip, drip, drip
my mom walks in as I fall to the floor
my dying words to my mom
'I live no more'
she rushed to my body and calls for my dad
I smile as they see my pain
drip, drip, drip
as my blood hits the floor
my mom screams my name
I smile once more
and say good bye
my mom screams ' why god why? '
the last words I heard were a plea for help
until the final
drip, drip, drip
poem by No Reason To Care
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Here to Give
I am here to give.
Not wallow away,
In your solicitation...
To be understood for 'your' insecurities.
While you self indulge,
Seeking opportunities...
To feed more of your greed.
Or subject myself to listening to testimonies,
Of how your needs are not being met to please...
More of your selfishness.
I am here to give.
And feel blessed...
I am not caught up,
In attempts to make impressions.
'But you ain't got a penny and your pocket.
Or a bucket to carry anything claimed you own.'
Who is to say I was the one needing those things?
And someone else didn't?
Like I said...
I am here to give.
And not to impress...
You or anybody else,
In the doing of what it is 'I' do!
Does that provide you with a hint or a clue,
As to how I feel about your assessment made of me?
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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May 10th
May 10th, is one day amongs all
may 10th pass through me slowly with a word to hold unto
may 10th was sitting waiting to fulfill purpose yet we were blind with fate of foolishness
may 10th took something from the world with pride without regret of pain and lost
may 10th why must you come to pass now
may 10th was a slow moving day moving with
boldness seeking for something precious
may 10th standing at my gate yet i see him not
O what a lostful day to the world
may 10th why must you come to pass at my reign without seeking from me first
may 10th my unforgetable day
it gain more to forgive and forget but how can i forget
may 10th took something worth more than gold from the world
can the world ever forgive and forget that day
may 10th may 10th may 10th can you hear me
u are not to be forgotten by mistake believe me i forgive you but i cann't forget that painful day when you took away my mentor my grand father
may 10th 2011 6: 50pm.
poem by Senator alufalism
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Delivered By Expressing Agitation
I'd be very suspicious,
If you liked everything I presented.
If you accepted everything given,
Without a mention of an honest point of view...
From you?
I would wonder why.
Not that I would try anything differently.
But I just might make attempts,
To raise some contemptment I may resent.
Like a child seeking attention.
To receive a response.
Or some nuance to trigger,
Another emotion to test one's undivided...
Devotion.
You know...
An understated kind of praise?
But delivered by expressing agitation!
An attitude accepted.
Especially from one who has grown bored and tired,
Of my greatness.
And...
I do try very hard to give that to you,
Each and every time.
You know I do!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Forgive You
(Shut up)
For all the anguish,
And degradation
For every time I needed truth
And you were faithless
But disappointment, self-deprecation
But living a lie for fantasize and you could save me
I need my cross like a blanket
And misery is comfort
I can hardly stand to blame myself for filling prophecy on you
And in the end I decided
I guess I felt I deserved it
I should kiss your dirty lips for bringing me my clarity
And how did you just make me see?
How your lies have buried me
But I forgive you
Lord I must forgive you
So I
I feel so high
Just let it go we would
I forgive you
Lord I must forgive you
So I
(Shut up)
For all the torment
Loss of independence
For disrespect, carelessness with my emotions
For all the screams I swallow
How a soul is hollow
For giving into temptation
For making me feel like a cheap replacement
And how did you just make me see
How your lies have buried me
But I forgive you
Lord I must forgive you
Cos I
I feel so high
Just let it go we would
I forgive you
Lord I must forgive you
Cos I
All the lies that I believed
And all the guilt you make me feel
Cos I forgive you
Lord I must forgive you
Cos I
Ohh I feel so good just letting go
You know I feel good now you're gone
Getting stronger, letting go
Getting stronger, I'm moving on
Getting stronger, I'm letting go
Getting stronger, I'm getting stronger
No
This time
I forgive you
Lord I
And how the truth does make me see
And how your lies have buried me
I forgive you
Lord I
I must forgive you
Lord I
All the lies that I believed
And all the guilt you make me feel
I forgive you
Cos I forgive you
Lord I must forgive you
Cos I
And how the truth does make me see
How your lies have buried me
I forgive you
Cos I forgive you
Lord I
I must forgive you
(This time)
All the lies that I believed
Guilt you make me feel
This time
I must forgive you
I feel so high
I feel so high
Cos it feels so good just letting go
You know I feel good now you go
song performed by by Darren Hayes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Guarded Heart
We all make bad mistakes, this I know
At some point, we have to learn to let things go
We forgive, but not forget
We hold on to our regrets
But we smile and carry on with our show
Everybody loves a happy ending
But we all carry on, just pretending
Sister, you hold on to your hurt
Life’s a priceless gift, do you know what it’s worth?
How long do you want to hold on to the pain?
Until it destroys your precious heart or until it makes you go insane?
Please follow me my love, please take my hand
I looked and now I’ve found the promised land
I have found a life that’s true
And it’s all because of you
I really hope that you will understand
But,
Guarded hearts, they find no peace
They hold on to, what they should release
All the pain, can turn to joy
But, It’s your mind you should destroy
Or the pulse of your life, it will cease
When you’re seeking, you’re not living
When you’re taking, you’re not giving
The devil’s coming, he’s coming to rob you blind
If you’re not loving, then you’re hating
Then who are you forsaking
It’s time to move ahead, not look behind
poem by Ryan Lee Morris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Intentional
No matter what may be done or said,
When that action in time takes place...
Someone will feel left out instead.
Not because of the action,
Done or said.
But how it was related when instigated.
Whoever made it fun for one,
To berate another with a blurting tongue...
The day will come,
When a similar deed is repeated.
With a singing of a song sung,
Or a tune heard hummed.
With no exit to ignore it to escape or leave,
The perpetrator remembered...
Will then be seeking empathy.
That no one with heart and soul intact,
Will care to release to relieve.
To set one free from memories.
This Earth is not flat,
It looks as if round.
And rotates on an axis,
To return to a place of origin always found.
And that is a fact when one sits to think,
Of those thoughts trapped to sit cemented...
In intentional inequities inflicted to sting and meant!
Inflicted to sting and meant!
What goes around...
Inflicted to sting and meant!
Comes around...
Inflicted to sting and meant!
What goes around...
Inflicted to sting and meant!
Comes around...
Inflicted to sting and meant!
It is all quite intentional.
'Never accuse me again,
Of not having substance! '
Inflicted to sting and meant!
'Never...
Inflicted to sting and meant!
Accuse...
Inflicted to sting and meant!
Me...
Inflicted to sting and meant!
Again! '
Inflicted to sting and meant!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Focus Maintained
Gain!
All I have is love to give,
And gain!
I'm on a fast track to stay,
And to gain.
Nothing in my life...
Remains the same,
With my focus maintained!
And gain!
All I have is love to give,
And gain!
I'm on a fast track to stay,
And to gain.
Nothing in my life...
Remains the same,
With my focus maintained!
I've got to reach,
With my focus maintained.
And,
I've got to keep...
My focus maintained.
And,
I've got to seek...
With my focus maintained,
And prepared I am to change...
Keeping focus maintained.
Gain!
All I have is love to give,
And gain!
I'm on a fast track to stay,
And to gain.
Nothing in my life...
Remains the same,
With my focus maintained!
I've got to reach,
With my focus maintained.
And,
I've got to keep...
My focus maintained.
And,
I've got to seek...
With my focus maintained,
And prepared I am to change...
Keeping focus maintained.
I'm teased a lot!
But my focus maintains.
I dream a lot!
But my focus maintains.
My needs don't stop!
But my focus maintains.
And prepared I am to change...
Keeping focus maintained.
I'm teased a lot!
But my focus maintains.
I dream a lot!
But my focus maintains.
My needs don't stop!
But my focus maintains.
And prepared I am to change...
Keeping focus maintained.
Gain!
All I have is love to give,
And gain!
I'm on a fast track to stay,
And to gain.
Nothing in my life...
Remains the same,
With my focus maintained!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Misfit Beatings
I take a beating for my needs!
I kick myself and sit in despair.
I need a love of mine right here,
Not 'there'
Behind someone's closed doors,
Like a whore who disappears
Doing whore chores!
Seeking fresh pieces...
To admire and adore.
Then suddenly reappear?
At my door?
As if that's not clear,
A 'respect' was ignored.
I take a beating for my needs!
I close myself off...
When open I want to be.
I want to unleash this love and release,
But someone I trust must receive...
And be pleased to be with me.
Or I will go on denying,
It's pride I feel from a wounded heart!
And not from a touch I long to feed,
From depths surfacing seeking a fresh start!
Alone I groan...
And take a beating,
For my needs.
I know what I want...
But I'm not getting it with ease,
And that is upsetting.
So much so,
I have been on my knees!
I take a beating for my needs.
But sorrow does not come to share them.
I may take a beating for my needs...
Knowing what I want,
Will be what it is.
When it comes to give fulfillment,
That is complete without self deceit
To relive...
Or surrender!
And come for me with a goodness,
Meant to be.
I take a beating for my needs...
To one day taste the sweetness,
Delivered just for me!
To one day taste the sweetness,
Delivery just for me!
To one day taste the sweetness,
Delivery just for me!
I take a beating for my needs...
And in the meaning of this feeling,
Repeated it will be...
Until I have the will and strength,
To set myself finally free.
I take a beating for my needs.
I know that more and I can see.
I'm not as eager to punish,
Or as quick to accept defeat!
I take a beating for my needs,
I do!
But I do it to clean the slate...
For whoever arrives when that time comes.
To mate.
For whomever that will be,
To help me forget
The foolish things done!
To free myself finally to enjoy fun.
When that one comes and stops my urge,
To end my misfit beatings...
Inflicted with such fits!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Sitting Seeking Pity
Never will these wounds known that I carry,
Affect you directly.
When I earned my scars you were not involved.
Not to see them inflicted when I enlisted,
Into the military.
Not to hear of my friends being killed and buried.
Or the toil that took on my emotions.
I've already done the numbing of the mind thing.
You were not there,
To see me grieve over the death of my son.
Or the pain I felt blaming myself and everyone,
Regarding how that was done.
Or when both of my marriages ended!
And I was then still quite young.
All you know is what you see.
You have no idea what is inside of me.
Or the devotion I still have for my family.
After years now spent not seeing my mom and dad.
Very close those feelings you will not believe.
Or seeing them die that has left me sad.
Nothing I do has been magically produced.
Even forgiving myself and others,
Has reduced me to tears at times.
When I know of those folks who have sacrificed their lives,
For their beliefs.
As you wallow away in pettiness...
To complain about your issues.
And how from you they wont leave!
While you invite them on a daily basis.
And you say of me for you I show no empathy?
You have no idea how much I care!
I am just not like you.
Sitting seeking pity.
Because my cries for help,
Is all I choose to do!
My knees are not intended,
To be bended and kept knelt!
Never will these wounds known that I carry,
Affect you directly.
I am too aware of those steps I've taken.
I am too aware of what it takes to celebrate life.
And too much aware of a happiness,
I have chosen to separate from what has happened.
Pulled out of despair and dragged away from strife.
I will listen!
But I am not here to compare to share to relive.
Any of your agonies on your sleeve you so willfully give.
I am here to assist your getting over it.
Not to sit with you and feast upon defeat.
I am not that kind of 'friend'.
And those friends you do not need.
So stop rehearsing your tragedies.
Let's take a hike through the park,
And hug a few trees.
Let's express to them our gratitude.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Just Smile
Smile to the world
So, they can't see your pain
Smile to the world
To hide your tears
Smile to the world
Camouflage your turmoiled heart
Smile to the world
No questions asked
Smile to the world
Hide your scars
Smile to the world with affection
Just smile to brighten someone's world.
poem by Persian Khushi
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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After Fists and Pain Inflicted
Escalated abuse,
Is not love.
To be used and tormented...
Is an addiction to be loathed.
But those cloaked within this need,
Can not see the danger...
Feeding these mindless deeds.
And domesticated violence,
One accepts to receive agony...
Remains a sickness wished!
To attract a slow suicide,
One excuses and accepts...
To forgive and forget.
With Hopes for a shared happiness,
To reminisce.
After fists and pain inflicted...
Heals!
But the re-occurrence reveals,
Not a mending but a killing...
Of a relationship!
Dedicated to:
Robin!
'Why? Ask yourself,
Do you need this?
And if you are entertained by it!
Is your fame maintained...
Worth the pain you sustain? '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Fixed Like This
Assessing itself to have no outlet,
A mind tired with its allotment...
Begins to burn out.
Choosing to regurgitate a repeated point of view.
And feeling stuck without adventuring...
Beyond the familiarity of daily complaints.
Is a mind fixed like this within a self centeredness.
With wishes for nothing else to do.
Assessing itself to have no outlet,
A mind tired with its allotment...
Begins to burn out.
And very little can be said,
To those with minds encased within thick heads.
And making attempts to convince with opinion,
Eventually will be observed to make no difference.
Determined is this kind of mind to find negativity.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Scars
We all have scars.
Some visible and some hidden to the world.
We sometimes try to hide the physically scars because we think it is ugly,
but really having scars is not a bad thing.
It reminds us we can heal and get through the bad times both physically and mentally when we are ripped or torn apart.
So embrace you scars and keep on healing.
For healing and battling is a part of life.
Let people see your scars and how strong you are by healing.
poem by Christina J. Williams
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Emotions
i am feeling empty inside
maybe! it's because the feelings that i hide?
at times it's a feeling of loneliness
and at times, it's loves and desires hidden away.
but with all this i have to say.
i will never change the sensations
of feeling different emotions.
love, joy, sadness, bitterness, sorrow, anxieties, and stress.
but closeness is the one i love the best.
to be close and to be inspired, is my lifelong desire.
to have someone to hug you and to tell
you that everything is going to be alright.
and that someone is there, when you're down and out
that is what emotions is all about.
i found love and it was bursting to be free
a love, so deeply hidden inside of me.
i saw the love in someone elses eyes
feelings and emotions that they could not hide.
i felt their exhileration, and each and every sensation.
i felt the pains that a heart must go through
to bring all feelings closer to you.
the heart and the mind work hand in hand
but it is the soul that makes the plan.
(is it the mind that tells the heart what is love, what is pain.
what is sorrow? or is it the heart that tells the mind these things?)
the soul is the one that instills all these things into us
and this is what we have to trust.
emotions is lifes key
it could make you a slave, or set you free.
poem by Louis Rams
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Forgiveness Is A Hard To Give (Being Bullied)
Do you know how it feels to be pushed around?
It hurts to be known as the schools punching bag.
Or being too scared to cry or make a sound.
Yes, they wanted to hear me cry and nag.
Well you might know how this feels
To be called fat and stupid and that is all you'll ever be
This causes so much pain, but this is something that I did my hardest to conceal
I wish it was something that could have been seen when they did this to me.
Well it hurt me emotionally and physically with the mental scars that you put me through
And yes it is hard for me to do this
But I am here to say that I forgive and truly want a friendship with you
Forgiveness is a hard to give, but I know it had to be done, as God fulfilled my one and only wish
And that was to be accepted as a normal person
I know that some of memories my never fade
But thanks to God, He gives the strength to have a celebration
Because I knew that He never left as I was being bullied, and laid there and prayed
poem by Frank Pulver
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Nobody Else
Nobody else will ever get a chance to get it.
Oh no.
Or make claims that they had it when they did.
No!
Nobody else will ever get a chance to get it.
Oh no.
Or make those claims they had it when they did.
No!
The sharing space all in my face.
Nobody else will get to know.
Or sharing toothpaste not replaced.
Nobody else will get to know.
To get that close to me no more.
Nobody else will get to know...
Snuggling up when they get cold.
NO!
Nobody else will ever get a chance to get it.
Oh no.
Or make that claim they had it when they did.
No!
Nobody else will ever get a chance to get it.
Oh no.
Or make those claims they had it when they did.
No!
How I look before I'm dressed.
Nobody else will get to know.
Or how I look in nakedness.
Nobody else will get to know.
Blemishes exposing flaws.
Nobody else will get to know...
What I like or what I hate.
Since my mind is back in shape.
Nobody else will ever get a chance to get it.
Oh no.
Or make a claim they had it when they did.
No!
Nobody else will ever get a chance to get it.
Oh no.
Or make one claim they had it when they did.
No!
I'm not giving up a bit of my peace to leave it!
Oh no.
I'm not seeking anymore to wound and heal.
Uh, uh no, no!
I'm not giving up a bit of my peace to leave it!
Oh no.
I'm not seeking anymore to wound and heal.
Uh, uh no, no!
No more bending or giving in!
Those scars I've had I've let them go!
No more bending or giving in!
Those scars I've had I've let them go!
Those scars I've had I've let them go!
Those doors once open now are closed.
The sharing space all in my face.
Nobody else will get to know.
Or sharing toothpaste not replaced.
Nobody else will get to know.
To get that close to me no more.
Nobody else will get to know...
Snuggling up when they get cold.
Those scars I've had I've let them go!
Those scars I've had I've let them go!
And no one will ever get that close,
Again!
No, no!
And no one will ever get that close,
Again!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Another Brilliant Performance
Being forced to be in a position,
To show an empathy and understanding...
For someone else's condition,
When your own no one has known.
Could be a test to dramatize.
With all the despair to display,
Prepared to be shown!
When one has been accustomed,
To disguising and hiding pain and agony...
Since a cheerfulness that comes quickly,
Masks a heartache that seems to stay...
With a revealing routine,
Sometimes sarcastic and prickly
And that person who is often counted upon...
To make other's troubles go away,
With the kissing of wounds and stings...
To erase with positive things to say,
Is you?
So what does someone like you do?
Smile!
And give another brilliant performance.
Smile, grin and bare that magic!
Make the wincing done...
A time to joke and have fun!
~You have cancer!
When would you like to schedule your surgery? ~
'Let's make it on the 16th of April.
Somehow that day has significance for me.'
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Outdated Praise
My experiences seem to peak...
When treated,
With the fresh flowing...
Of creativity at its birth.
Arriving on Earth from the unknown.
For redundant examinations!
To expose myself to repeated visits,
With wishes to be affected,
As expected...
By those who make attempts,
To re-invent an exposed fresh flow.
Is for me too conforming.
With a 'boring' done and shown!
It for me is like trying to find new ways,
To tie shoes...
I've known have worn out.
And doing my best to develop an interest,
In the activity.
Although they may comfort my steps,
When I walk about.
The wear and tear is there to express this!
My need to be excited by innovation,
Is not comprehended by those...
Seeking to authorize a familiarity!
To eventually announce an acceptance,
With outdated praise.
To those subjected to limited vision...
This is okay.
Who am I to say it isn't?
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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