No Designation Do I Wish To Achieve
There is no designation,
Do I wish to achieve...
Upon arriving at my destination.
I compete with myself to succeed.
No awards am I seeking to uplift with a gloating.
There have been too many obstacles,
I had to fight with the gritting of my teeth.
And an ignoring of my own fears,
Aided by those who wanted to see me defeated...
With hopes to block every step I made,
To test the depth of my faith!
Only to deepen the depth of it,
With an awakening I could not fake...
Has long had my eyes wide open.
And the carrying of doubt whispering in my ears,
On a daily basis...
As I proceeded on a path cleared by my ambitions,
Rode on my back attached like a weave.
Unknowing my motivation.
Not designations or intuitions to provide incentive.
For whatever the reason,
I am not impressed by those sensations.
No! None of that!
And if any of this could be explained,
I'd be the first to do it.
To detail a strategy I kept secret to amuse.
I am not in self abuse to reveal wounds and bruises.
Nah!
I have had too many to come uninvited.
However...
It was initiative, discipline and sacrificing comforts,
That were the only tools I used.
Not amusement.
Especially when a coming close not to continue,
On my journey...
Had been too often within my reach to cease my need,
To get up on my feet and move to have that accomplished.
And 'if' I am deserving of an award for THAT?
So be it.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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The Journey Of A Thousand Miles, Begins In A First Step
THE JOURNEY OF A THOUSAND MILES, BEGINS IN A FIRST STEP
In everything we do in this life, it always begins in a first step. In other words, when we want to achieve something or excel in any field of endeavor in this life, we must take the first step or move. Basically, we can not move upward in a ladder without stepping on the first step and if we will not take the first move to go upward and journey beyond a thousand miles in seeking our dreams and aspirations in this life.
In our ardent desire to achieve our ambitions, aspirations, wants and needs in this life, we really can not have them if we are not willing to take the first initiative, first move or first step towards such long journey before reaching the petals of our desires or aspirations in this life we owed from God. We must really have the guts, courage and patience to dip our own toe in the sand of burning obstacles, trials and bellowing risk with prudence in this life before we can finally reach the pinnacle of our dreams. It always take a single step to begin any long and arduous journey in this life while we are seeking the meaning of our sense of being and reaching and realizing what we wanted to do and become in this life.
We really can not move forward or go a long way in this journey of life to reach our desired destiny our faith or fate may determines without taking the first leap of courage, sacrifice, patience and perseverance along with dynamic commitment and interest to go on with the journey even if at times the way we are traveling may not be as cool as we wanted or as clear as we prayed. Indeed, any journey in the ocean of life to reach the other shore of our dreams and aspirations in life always begins in sailing with a first paddle of guts and courage to succeed.
poem by Melvin Banggollay
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Journey Towards Light
Walking on the road, I realized something amiss
On turning my back I saw my shadow had disappeared
Leaving me all alone in my journey towards light;
I searched for my companion everywhere
But to my grief he got lost somewhere in darkness
Leaving me all alone in my journey towards light
I don’t know how to pursue my journey without him?
Scared enough to take a step ahead
But determined to achieve my goal I began to walk
Not caring for obstacles and darkness in my path.
After reaching at the end of dark tunnel
I saw a ray of light
My happiness knew no bounds
But there came a voice from somewhere
And it was of my companion shadow
He told me, “My friend your journey in light has just begun
Keep following your path towards wisdom and you shall
Achieve your goal”.
Indeed he was right.
My journey towards light has just begun and
It’s a Long way before I reach my destination.
With A Kicking To The Curb
Although my journey...
Has seemed sometimes long,
With a prolonging of obstacles to face...
I have managed to slowly erase them with faith.
As well as a chasing away of 'expected' obstacles...
Presented to prevent what I must do each day.
I had to grow stronger and determined,
To prove for no one else but myself...
The steps that I take on the path I am on...
I am on it because I belong,
In the doing with a purpose.
And serving this purpose as it deserves.
And on a daily basis I will and can say,
I recognize my blessings.
And on a daily basis I will and can say,
I have recognized those foes...
Hoping to block my way,
From the crevices of shadows fading.
And...
On a daily basis I will and can say,
The Creator is responsible...
For removing opposition in my way that sit.
Trying to upset me with conflicts to afflict.
The Creator is responsible...
For not allowing this to persist.
And with a knowing of that,
It is with a kicking to the curb I do...
All that which attempts to delay my mission.
It is with a kicking to the curb I do...
To eliminate from me aches of all kinds,
From my mind to exist...
With an assistance only God can give.
It is with my Father's wishes,
The Creator of ALL there is 'that' is...
That has done this to mend AND fix!
And He, My Father...
Will not continue to permit,
The foolishness of nonsense...
To attack me with that kind of grip.
God has shown me I need not put up with it.
And...
With a clearing of the way for only HIS will to be done!
As it shall be...nonsense gets out of the mix.
Since The Creator alone,
Rules the Kingdom!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Pad and Pen Active
I do not have to close my eyes,
To employ the imagination of 'visions'.
I am bombarded by a vast array of those,
On a daily basis.
And my ears cleared to hear,
When I shut my doors.
I need not sit with my own delusions at all.
Too many are sharing theirs,
Unsolicited!
All I need to do,
Is to keep my eyes open not even wide.
And my pad and pen active.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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With Mine Eyes
I know my life is lit by inner light,
Exciting my insight kept bright to cling...
With a tight grasping hold,
To endure through darkness...
I sought to fight.
Day and night with faith,
I would pray for strength...
To assist the chasing away,
Of those doubts that begged me to fear.
Day and night with faith,
I would pray to remove...
Insurmountable obstacles,
I proved I could and would break through...
IF I wanted to.
And this I did to do.
With mine eyes,
I can see and perceive it.
And with mine eyes...
I am the victor.
I can succeed.
And with mine eyes,
I have received...
With belief,
I can and will achieve.
And with mine eyes,
I can see and perceive it...
I am the victor!
I can and will succeed.
Day and night with faith,
I would pray to remove...
Insurmountable obstacles,
I proved I could and would break through...
IF I wanted to.
And this I did to do.
'Cause with mine eyes,
I can see and perceive it.
I am the victor.
I can and will succeed.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Hidden Wishes
Hidden wishes are not the best ones,
To keep secret.
Not when two are sharing space,
In a relationship as mates.
And seen before sleeping,
With eyes opened wide...
To awaken to bare blemishes,
On a daily naked basis to rub against...
A touching of hips, legs and thighs.
If lies become treasured...
And from one,
Another hides.
When mates that close become distrusting,
Whether or not legal vows had been exchanged.
A presence of love can be said was never there.
Or a devotion known between them shown.
What depth of caring is done if no one is aware.
When two are sharing space,
On a daily basis in a relationship as mates...
Hidden wishes are not the best to keep,
Between two left unconnected.
And separately discreet.
But meeting each other to heat under sheets,
With a keeping of hidden wishes secret.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Part Of The Deal
Had I known being knocked about,
And publicly humiliated...
For choosing a path no one else walked upon,
Was going to be part of the deal...
Of keeping things real,
WITH commitment to reveal...
AND with a matched devotion?
Would I have made the same decision,
To endure sacrificing and criticisms?
Well...
It is much easier today to say 'yes' I would.
However,
If I knew now what I had to go through 'then'...
I would still be sitting somewhere procrastinating,
The depth of my wishing with a wanting...
For my dreams to come true!
I can only thank God...
My craving to taste was more than the obstacles,
In my face I had to eliminate.
Do you realize how difficult it is,
To keep your eyes focused with a looking ahead?
And not keep them moving from side to side?
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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That Once Wished
I wanted to be that.
But I couldn't.
I had to be this...
And that would resist it!
But this 'who' I am,
Became 'me' more to 'myself'.
'That' which wasn't...
Was slow to leave.
I have only been recently pleased!
And the me I am...
No longer searches to be qualified.
I have done that with examined self reflection.
And I am overjoyed.
I have accepted a priority to be me now!
With a full existence...
That feeds and fulfills my soul!
I can say I feel my feet planted on the ground!
Without a step I question with doubt!
If and when obstacles appear on my path...
That is for me to figure out!
And realizing that,
Leaves me feeling fantastic!
I am no longer victimized by my own fears,
Or successes.
All of it...
Is on my journey I've embraced!
I wanted to be that.
But I couldn't.
I had to be this...
And 'that' once wished,
Is no longer my concern!
I've learned.
And living my life,
As right as I see it.
With this without that to nag...
Has left my faith to lead.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Luck Has Nothing To Do With What Has Been Achieved
Sacrifice, initiative, motivation, discipline...
Self esteem, belief, faith and consistency,
With a persistence to get done and do!
Are you listening to me?
Success has more than one avenue,
One can take to reach it.
But if commitment isn't attached,
With a plan to match...
Some folks will never know,
How it feels...
To touch a dream that comes to life.
And when one has spent many sleepless nights,
In pain and 'still' applies emotions felt to accomplish...
With a focused devotion no one witnesses to see to believe,
Luck has nothing to do with what has been achieved!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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The Sky Is High
The sky is high.
I'm thrilled to uplift and pierce,
Through a capacity.
The Sun on me sets a glow.
Deserving of this quickened drift...
I'm in ecstasy!
Something fresh with blessings,
Is going to happen!
Packed all doubts to leave to keep this breeze...
Licking on me.
To soar,
Effortlessly!
The sky is high.
I'm thrilled to uplift and pierce,
Through a capacity.
The Sun on me sets a glow.
Deserving of this quickened drift...
I'm in ecstasy!
Nothing is there to dare my movement.
Aware I am that I've got to fly.
Obstacles small and great are crumbling.
Just like the leaves,
Under my feet.
That fell from the Autumn,
October trees.
The sky is high.
I'm thrilled to uplift and pierce,
Through a capacity.
The Sun on me sets a glow.
Deserving of this quickened drift...
I'm in ecstasy!
And I reach for the sky.
Yes, that sky that's so high!
Something fresh is going to happen!
All doubts are packed...
And ready to leave!
And I lift effortlessly!
The sky is high.
I'm thrilled to uplift and pierce,
Through a capacity.
The Sun on me sets a glow.
Deserving of this quickened drift...
I'm in ecstasy!
The sky is high.
I reach for stars so clear,
A smile appears in my eyes.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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An Appreciation For The Highs And Lows
I did not invent motivation.
Nor was initiative,
Sitting in a variety store...
Wishing that it,
I would come along to pick.
And dedication with devotion,
Was not served to me on a silver platter.
No matter how long I sat wishing for dreams to exist.
Something inside of me arrived long ago.
A comprehension to understand...
Yearning without earning,
What I wanted was not going to be...
In stars that glowed.
And the wearing of fine clothes,
Was not prioritized as my objective.
With lessons taught and disappointments bestowed,
I learned that patience wasn't everything I need to know.
I needed to know the connection between hard work, sacrifice...
And arguments I've settled with discipline in stubborn fights,
Helped me open my eyes...
To the kind of world this is I am blessed to live in.
BLESSED.
Without those selfish expectations.
I did not invent motivation.
Nor was initiative,
Sitting in a variety store...
Wishing that it,
I would come along to pick.
No!
I learned to tie my own shoes,
Before I was able to walk.
And dedication with devotion,
Was not served to me on a silver platter.
No matter how long I sat wishing for dreams to exist.
And...
The clearing of weeds off my own path,
Began a process of adventure through hills and valleys...
With an appreciation for the highs and lows,
That never seem to end.
And 'if' that is my task to last...
Who's journey is this I've been given to enjoy?
And FREE.
At no charge to me.
But to live it as it is with a gratitude expressed.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Whether Or Not The Deed Witnessed Is Meant
If there is anything one will recognize,
Once they have made up their mind...
With a sacrificing devoted and done to succeed.
There will be those not understanding this drive...
Thriving to accomplish with a yearning inside.
And energized as a bright independent light,
Felt by that one who 'sees'.
With a doing that satisfies one's craving and appetite.
And more opposing will come forward to express,
Their discouragement to depress one with disrespect.
Whether or not the deed witnessed is meant.
To test for the rest of one's life...
When that path one is on feels perfectly right.
And if one can continue through a host of obstacles,
Thrown to discourage until tears flow...
What becomes achieved will more than please the doer
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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If That's the Path You Are Waiting to Have Cleared
Why have you chosen to climb over those boulders?
And walk your way through the forest,
Instead of following along a trail that has been paved? !
'I chose this as 'my' path!
I wanted to experience...
Those obstacles at my own expense.
To learn and observe as much as I could see.
Without taking it for granted,
I could take advantage of an easier way for me.
And I have no regrets.
How about you? '
I've been waiting now for awhile.
They have discovered an enormous amount of debris,
On my path.
Are you coming 'back' from distances?
Or are you moving along on a journey?
'Well...
I am moving forward,
Hopefully.
There was once a clear path.
I saw some folks on it.
If that's the path you are waiting to have cleared...
To visit or stay...
Or fellowship near.
Best wishes, my 'brutha'.
You got a long wait!
Back there...
Folks like to stay in debate,
As to who should do what...
To get things done!
You should go.
You'll be welcomed and caught up in it,
Before you know it!
That's why I long decided to do my own 'thing'!
Stopping to discuss what action to take...
Is not on my agenda!
Go! Or wait...
Or whatever it is you do!
They will love you!
And they will not believe,
Just how naïve you are! '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Early Works - What Is The Depth Of A Man
What is the depth of a man,
what makes him courageous
in front of mortal fears
or walk straight and tall
when his eyes are blinded with tears?
What is the depth of a man
what gives him the spark
deep in his heart
to do good
when only evil surrounds him.
What is the depth of a man
that can’t be conquered
is it the love of a woman
is it loyalty
or is it the belief that each man should be free.
What is the depth of a man?
Date unknown, probably late 1960’s
poem by David Harris
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Few Have Seen Those Bruises
Few have seen those bruises on my knees.
Or heard me pleading in the wilderness weeping,
With kept faithful prayers...
To heal my concealed wounds.
As I laid in a weakened state,
Awaiting for the Sun to pierce the darkness.
And for anyone to believe,
A pettiness they wish to leave on my path...
Is going to be worthy of my giving it and them attention,
Have no idea of the obstacles I have had to face...
To overcome to continue on my journey.
And I am not about to stop to explain anything I do.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Deep In Your Eyes
Deep in your eyes I saw another universe
a place of love, peace and rest
and I was aware of the depth of our love,
did know that I do not really deserve you.
I wanted to close my eyes against your gaze,
against the bright golden light that shines from your eyes
when you did bring healing for a life of pain
while you did stretch out great bliss in only a moment
and unsteady on my feet
I escaped from your hot arms,
did open my eyes wide
and our being together was wonderful and intense.
poem by Gert Strydom
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Light Beyond the Door
A place where I have found answers ahead
Turning back will only give me more questions and doubts
With my thoughts cleared from my mind once clouded I move on
Confident of answers leading me to a different path
Many stairs stretch toward the top with no sight of the end
Ignoring the frustration in my thoughts I will start toward the top
With each step I took towards the top I felt tiresome
Using the strength I had left I was able to move forward
Almost all the strength I have is depleted
I was forced on my hands and knees until I could move again
Just when I was about to lose consciousness
I see a blinding light beyond a door to begin my journey
poem by Sarah Bruun
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Wounded
Lost and broken
Hopeless and lonely
Smiling on the outside
But hurt beneith my skin
My eyes are fading
My soul is bleeding
I'll try to make it seem ok
But my faith is wearing thin
So help me heal these wounds
They've been open for way too long
Help me fill this soul
Even though this is not your fault
That i'm open
That i'm bleeding
All over your brand new rug
And i need some one to help me sow them up
I only wanted a magazine
I only wanted a movie screen
I only wanted the life i'd read about and dreamed
And now my mind is an open book
And now my heart is an open wound
And now my life is an open soul for all to see
But help me heal these wounds
They've been open for way too long
Help me fill this soul
Even though this is not your fault
That i'm open
And i'm bleeding
All over your brand new rug
And i need some one to help me
So you come along
I push you away
Then kick and scream for you to stay
Cuz i need some one to help me
Oh i need some one to help me
To help me help these wounds
They've been open for way too long
Help me fill this soul
Even though this is not your fault
That i'm open
And i'm bleeding
All over your brand new rug
And i need some one to help me sow them
I need some one to help me fill them
I need some one to help me close them up
song performed by by Good Charlotte
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Carrying Brand New Shoes In A Box
I am not spending time to find anyone,
To assist in the navigating of my journey.
That has already been established.
And what a waste of time that would be,
If I sought that kind of aid.
If I should stumble and fall,
Who will feel those bruises?
Whose patience would be tested?
Who would feel the pain when the tears come.
And...
Who would have to discover the motivation,
To get up and clear the path of obstacles?
I've stopped having those inner monologues.
Not once had I received advice,
From anyone who wore the same size shoes...
I do.
Well...
There was one person.
However...
Carrying brand new shoes in a box,
Does not validate one's experience...
In the wearing of them through stormy weather.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Self Motivation
Life is not boring
Work is not meaningless
Relationships are not worthless
But self motivation is something
You should do on a regular basis and on a daily basis
with or without the assistance of others.
Because motivation is not permanent
Only Self Motivation is
Here to stay
poem by Lawrence Hiung
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