I Could Not Sit...Still!
From me,
I had to remove the blues.
Too uncertain became my needs.
I could breathe...
But it was not done freely.
From me,
The moods would shift.
As if a splitting away of focus,
Had been permitted.
And I could not sit...still!
From me,
Excuses I would give...
Others refused to accept.
The actions I had taken next,
Were to sulk and brood.
From me,
I began to see energized light.
And inspite of my self centeredness,
There was something within me that existed.
I could not resist it.
And I knew then,
From me that darkness sat.
And I alone welcomed it by invitation.
No other fingerprints were on the doors,
And windows I chose to close.
I could not sit...still.
Until the doors and windows,
Were again reopened...
Onto a world I chose,
To keep closed.
And...
I could not sit...still.
Remembering,
It was I who had consciously...
Did this.
Remembering,
My own footsteps I chose to quiet.
And it was I who now grew tired,
Of the darkness I inspired.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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I Have Burned Some Bridges
No open doors do I turn to close.
Although I have burned some bridges,
I admit.
And they were the ones...
Some chose to display temper tantrums done.
I do not revisit those quick to give hissy fits.
There are some genuine and wonderful people.
And they have expressed themselves throughout my life.
None that I knew had expectations when they gave.
And I always did my best to treat them right.
Since they are among the few and far between.
For them I will remove the doors from their hinges.
For some others?
I did say I have burned some bridges!
And did not mind if I had been caught in the act of it.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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I Chose to Like My Own Life
I chose to like my own life.
It wasn't easy then to do it.
Since many then pretended,
With no identifiable dignity.
Or a pride that had reality.
I chose to live my life right.
Free of masquerades,
And...
Those days I spent charading.
With dim light to pass.
I chose to greet the morning Sun.
Feeling a freedom at last.
Like never before I felt could be done.
I opened the door inside of me once closed.
And released my own mind...
To find a truth I could believe,
See and daily breathe.
And wanting more of 'me' exposed.
And I chose to like my own life.
Not finding fault or wrong with it.
Or defending what for me felt right.
What for me I knew existed.
I chose to like my own life to live,
As I do...
To prove,
It is mine to live it as I choose.
And this day I choose to live my life!
And so peaceful do I sleep at night.
Free of masquerades,
And...
Those days I spent charading,
Behind an assortment of masks.
With no direction on my path,
Cemented and paved.
I chose to like my own life.
It wasn't easy then.
Since many then pretended.
As if that was their task.
And pretending for me,
Has ended.
As clear as unstained glass,
Allows light to pass through it brighter...
With no intention to leave a blemish.
Coming as it does,
To radiate that which lives.
And this day I choose to live my life!
For me...and you too.
To get those deeds we need to do,
Done.
Knowing now we have identified,
And overcomed the fear...
Of liking one another like we like ourselves.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Why Am I Needing This?
I am not those dark days lived.
To perform an existing within shadows.
I am not,
One who sits comfortably...
Fixed to fears,
Of my own image appearing...
On walls that I visit forelorned.
I can not accept a misery imposed upon me.
I can not accept...
My own reflection hinting with signs of neglect.
I am the light that brightly shines...
On the other side of closed windows.
I am the light that brightly shines...
Beyond closed and locked doors,
My mind has been convinced...
I'm needing more to restrict my addictions.
I'm needing more of this...
To keep and explore!
'I am not those dark days lived',
I say.
'I am not that one existing,
Within the restriction of shadows.'
I am the light that brightly shines...
On the other side of closed windows.
I live beyond closed and locked doors!
And yet I am a victim,
Of my own self inflicting addictions.
Why am I needing this...
To keep adventured and explored?
'Why am I needing this?
Why from it I just can't quit? '
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Doors Opened And Closed
Our God can open any door, making things better than before,
That last place in which He chose, to permit that door to close.
He takes us on a chosen path, through that uncertain aftermath,
Working out all for our good, doing for us what we never could.
Nothing can hinder God at all, no matter how big, or how small,
He, who moves the heart of a king, is not hindered by anything.
God always works in His time, a schedule that is so unlike mine,
As God deals with me faithfully, I need to wait on God patiently.
Seeing no doors opened now, I must not question why or how?
As all doors still seem closed, to see what is not yet disclosed,
When I do not understand, knowing His heart, I see God’s hand.
As it may be a time for me to wait, while God’s help I anticipate.
Some doors are closed to stay, and inaccessible to our dismay,
Forced out of a comfort zone, but, we’re not forced to go alone,
Moved by God’s plan instead, guided by Grace, to move ahead,
And in His Grace, strength we find, to leave familiar ways behind.
Whether doors are closed or left ajar, in your earthly life thus far,
God will always open one for us, when in Him we place our trust,
And believers need not to despair, as our Lord shall always care,
For each one of us until we see, the Glorious Door up in Eternity.
(Copyright ©09/2009)
When I Go Out And Play Under The Sun
when i go out and play under the sun
like a child i run and not minding if i fall
i always know how to stand back
and hold myself within a frame of bones
sometimes without restraint i force
myself upon the fingers of light and warmth
and then when it is over when darkness begins
to claim its rightful share i too know how to surrender
i go back from where i come from and take shelter
on a roof and close my door and windows
i am back in my little nook taking some sleep
always remembering the good old days of sun
the summer in my mind the darkness and coldness
within i keep them all and they all become a part
of me. For i am both darkness and light, both
child and man, both evil and good, both sun and moon.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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I Chose Hope
I chose to hope again today
To believe in beauty,
In sunsets,
In the rain
I chose to laugh again
To dream,
To dance
And to sing with abandonment
I chose joy instead of despair
Smiles instead of many tears
Colors replaced the dull
And a rainbow filled my vision
When all around me I could not see
And when the coffee was toxin in my blood
When the world was full of trouble and nothing else
I chose hope
Hope discovered,
For a while undecided
Hope now declared
Hope
I chose to dream of a better day
To wish for things unseen
To search for the unimaginable
I chose to place my hope above
Hope not in mans strength or ability
Not in political systems,
in racial tribalisms,
in ethnic loyalties
Birthed out of a love that endures all things,
I chose hope that never fails
Hope for today and hope for tomorrow
I chose hope
poem by Jessica Nobubele Frame
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Assessments to Seduce
Address this any way you wish.
But during my grief periods...
God was with me.
And both of us sat in sorrow alone.
Your judgements passed on me does not matter.
Nor your assessments to seduce your reality.
Address this any way you wish.
But during my grief periods...
God was with me.
And both of us sat in sorrow alone.
I chose to heal.
I chose to sing.
I chose to dance and do those things.
Your judgements passed on me does not matter.
Nor your assessments to seduce your reality.
I chose to stand.
I chose to walk.
I chose the Sun!
Not the miseries others wished upon me to bring.
Hoping from obstacles faced,
I would run.
Address this any way you wish.
But during my grief periods...
God was with me.
And both of us sat in sorrow alone.
I chose to heal.
I chose to sing.
I chose to dance and do those things.
And whatever it is prioritized on your agenda?
I wish you all the best!
But don't count on me,
To give it attention with signs of protest.
I have chosen to ignore people like you.
Knowing that a focus on my own happiness...
Is what God wishes!
And that gift God has given...
Has proven to me I am blessed!
Address this any way you wish.
Your judgements passed on me does not matter.
Nor your assessments to seduce your reality.
I have chosen,
The freedom to be me.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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I Could Not Love You
There're a billion people in the world
All of them equal but of different worth
I find you to have a value equaled by no other
You are a rare and beautiful flower
But I'm sorry that I could not favor you
And make you the queen of my heart as I should
That instead I chose a different group
And I chose to favor them more than you
To favor a person means that you are two
And I'm sorry that I could not be with you
And a favored another one more fair
Although you are a true queens heir
And amongst a million kings and princesses
You always claimed that you were the fairest
And though your heart is the kindest I knew
I apologies that I could not favor you
And instead I chose to favor another
Not your equal, but not your better
I see a million faces each day but only acquaint with a few
You and I went different ways so I could not favor you
You and I once had our chance but I chose to let it go
You had no fault at all as I made the choice alone
And instead I chose to look for another
And I did favor them more than you
Although in my eyes you are a flower
I'm sorry that I could not be with you
And value you as a queen like I should
But just as I favored another more than you
Another favors you more than any other
And chose to be with you and no-other
poem by Hafeni Nghidinua
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Your Girl Chose Me
J-Boog:
Hey Yo your girl chose me (chose me)
you know the name of the game(game)
(B2 B2k)
Hey yo your girl chose me (chose me)
you know the name of the game (game)
(B2 B2K)
Hey Yo your girl chose me (chose me)
you know the name of the game (game)
(B2 B2k)
Hey yo your girl chose me (chose me)
you know the name of the game (game)
(B2 B2K)
Omarion:
When I met her she said to me yo I really like your style
She said Let's go somewhere that
we can be alone for a while
I didn't even know it (didn't even know it)
That she had a boyfriend (maybe had a boyfriend)
But that's the way it is when you do it like me
It's only why you mad at me
Chorus:
So I saw her
you trippin' cuz I had took her
I didn't even know her
But the name of the game is your girl chose me
Didn't know her and all I wanna do is uh uh uh uh uh uh
Cuz I'm the kind of player there ain't no stoppin no way
And your girl chose me
J-Boog:
Hey yo your girl chose me
(chose me)
you know the name of the game (game)
(B2 B2k)
Omarion:
You win some lose some it's just exactly what the game's about
So why you buggin bout' some chick who tried to play you out (play you out)
It ain't like I'm in love with her
she's just another girl on my list (my list)
So you can have her
and I'll leave If you don't what's gonna make her stop acting like this
Chorus:3x
Omarion:
I'm just a player there ain't nothing I can say and if she really
loves you she would never look my way so
If I tell her do it
She finds another guy and
You will trip over him again
Chorus:2x
song performed by by B2K from B2K
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You Have That for Life
All I have to give you is my loyalty.
You have that for life.
Since you give respect to me.
Inspite of my flights...
Sometimes spent indulging myself,
With a self centeredness.
I didn't have to ask,
For that from you to give.
Even at my most disgusting times...
You encouraged me to live.
And if I did that,
You would be happy.
You taught me to share more of that with you.
And together it has been given.
To release our competition for it.
With a giving that did not diminish.
It grew.
As I did too!
All I have to give you is my loyalty.
You have that for life.
Since you give respect to me.
Inspite of my flights...
Sometimes spent indulging myself,
With a self centeredness.
And if and when those needs now come...
We allow each other the space to breathe,
Separately.
And finding that important to be done,
Alone.
That is why I love you.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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At Night With The Rain
i have closed the doors
and the windows
and let go the curtains
touching the floors
i close my eyes and listen
to the rain
i dream of stars
i miss the moon
the walls close on in me
beyond the glass windows
to the sea
i hear the sad calls of the
night
outside the trees are blown
the black cat stares at me
and then some tears
begin to fall
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Endorsing Enforced Poses
To umask insecurity...
A weakness is sought
To be brought to the surface,
And revealed.
Something expressed,
To free the confession.
Something that gives,
A confidence to expose.
With a healing that begins...
A realness felt one feels.
Hopefully appealing to those
Who have chosen to remove
Hangups
And unlock doors they chose,
To keep closed
From endorsing enforced poses.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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for John on his first frustration
let me draw you a house
with an entrance gate
leading to an entrance
door and some windows
to let in air.
just that, there will be no
exit doors, no exit gate,
all the windows open,
not designed to close,
that precisely is success
and failure.
there is a sense of
entrance triumphant
ditto an exit for some
ordinary and even
inevitable failures of
our lives.
the windows are some
of our other options, we
let in air to breathe
for a while. we must.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Multiple Choices That Saved Me
You Chose:
………… to leave heaven and come to earth
………… to be born by a virgin birth
………… not to give in to temptation
………… but to die for my salvation.
You Chose:
………… not Your way but Your Fathers will
………… to climb the steep Calvary hill
………… to hang upon that cross for me
………… to give Your life and set me free
You Chose:
………… for me, to give Your final breath
………… to enter into the realms of death
………… to conquer death that I might live
………… to cry out loud, 'Father forgive'
and why did He choose the manger, and Mary and Joseph?
and why did God chose
the manger for the seat
of his birth and Mary his
physical mother and
Joseph the carpenter?
he chose the place of the
poor, the innocent face of
the unsophisticated woman,
the callous hands of the
simple carpenter in the
small town of nowhere,
he chose simplicity and
poverty, he never chose
us, our place, our time,
because he may not have
liked it at all. Too rich,
too arrogant, too shiny,
and so dirty.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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In The Ashes!
break out the windows,
kick down the doors!
stack all the old furniture...
and set fire to it!
the windows....
...through which we stared at life
......safe from its touch!
the doors....
....we closed in our fear
......of who we are
.......and what we see
...........in each other.
the furniture....
....we sat on and laid on
.......while the cries of the struggling
.........and the hands of the hungry
.............reached out...
the fire....
...that burns apathy with pure compassion
.......burns the lie of self till we find
.........the faces of God in the ashes!
poem by Eric Cockrell
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Always A Champion
I was born into a whole wide world
With feeble limbs and simple mind
At entrance, I could feel the heat
Suggesting another world different from where I was
Opening my eyes, I could see the faces of warriors
With hands to battle though with smiling faces
I could feel a great burden on me
I knew it was time to face my destiny
It kept ringing on my mind you are a champion, born to win
With my guardians, I began to learn
Took a step, one after the other
When I fell, I rose to walk, limp or do both
Muttered what I have to say hoping to communicate
I began to advance in height and knowledge
With great sensitivity to my environment
I felt love and hatred, brutality and friendship
I heard lies and deception, sincerity and truth
I saw light and darkness, day and night
I learnt the right from wrong but found it difficult to do the right
Because the system was stuffed with evil
Since the nature could not accommodate vacuum
I chose the right because I knew my destiny
I chose to profess the truth despite the challenges faced
The opposition was great that I had to remind myself of my destiny
Born to war, destiny to conquer and win
Always a champion stamped from above
(c) 2010
poem by Joshua Akinwande
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Wistfully Watching
They explore the world
through windows,
church windows,
school windows,
two up, two down windows,
castle windows,
large windows,
small windows.
They see it all,
from blameless to guilty,
from noble to treacherous,
through windows.
From skyscraper windows,
to basement flat windows,
from paupers windows,
and palace windows
they watch, absorb, suck it in.
Later when they have grown
they will remember,
try to empathise,
rationalise
decipher the coded metaphors,
but some day
they will be demoralised
by the windows of life.
There they sit __ wistfully watching __
the children
of our times.
poem by Ruth Walters
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Blade Of Darkness
I am shut down in my own heart,
And all its little doors are closed to me,
I am alone with my thoughts,
Living in my world of silence and melancoly.
It is a world of darkness,
Where hope tries to break in,
There is but a glimmer of light to warm up my soul,
As long as light exists, there is hope for me.
Blade of darkness is tearing up my heart into pieces,
Its depth and edge are so grievous to me,
You are the light that embraces my darkness,
As long as you exist, there is happiness for me.
poem by Cristina Teodor
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Some Things Do Hurt
some things shall hurt
they are designed for that purpose
by some people
these architects of pain
but we shall not be swayed
into the ways of the curse
and degradation
let them draw the plan
and let them construct what they
want to
they will make doors that lock
when we get in
and we shall have to look for ways
ourselves to get out
from their schemes
they will make windows that will only close
and not open and we shall look for
holes where we can take in air
and breathe
we shall be their pawns
and the experimental guinea pigs of their
pains and distress
they may laugh for a while
and drink to our fate
they may proclaim that they are winning
to their pre-conceived notions
of what they believe as our own
stupidity and gullibility
we shall wait for the time
and that is what we are also designed to do
we shall wait when they all fall asleep
drunk to their evil ways
for soon this darkness will turn the table
and side with us
and we shall have the time to open the windows
and summon the moon to hear our pleas
to unlock the doors and summon the sun
to brighten our twilights of woes
we escape and we shall see that house of pain burned
to ashes
now it is our time
the last laugh, our freedom, our revenge.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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