Feelings Felt Deep And Personally
Some are still awaiting,
For an approval of their thoughtlessness.
With a comprehension understood and accepted,
As to reason.
While a guilt from them fades.
Having a consciousness presents its consequences.
There is a possibility of one escaping from mistakes made.
But intentional activities done,
Believing one to be freed from feelings of remorse...
Do not come quickly with hollow apologies.
Feelings felt deep and personally...
Often do not detach themselves from memories!
And someone consistent in showing their disrespect...
Are seldom seen walking in someone else's shoes.
Some feel it easy to excuse themselves from their misdeeds.
Until it has been made known whose toes they have stepped upon.
And only then they perceive this to be,
An oversight and a forgiveable issue to be forgotten.
Like the act of ruining one's reputation.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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There Are Those Who Are the Exception
Do you honestly believe,
That saying things derogatory
About anyone...
Will suddenly be erased,
With a few apologies?
And a forgiveness done that is forgotten?
Let me introduce myself.
Since your approach to life,
Is a little different from mine.
How many things have you done,
That were 'unconsciously' intended?
None?
Me either.
In fact...
I doubt if that is possible.
So often,
Apologies are expected to be accepted!
That's why my approach to life,
Is to snap someone awake...
The moment my toes are stepped on.
And I do my best to inflict similar pain.
This 'turn-the-other-cheek-business'?
I'm just not into.
People know exactly what they do,
When they do it!
Under the influence of alcohol.
Or flying high on weed.
So often,
Apologies are expected to be accepted!
And there are those who are the exception.
They have feelings connected to emotions...
That are at stake.
And mistakes at their expense is not for-give-able!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Deeds Done They Do To Leave
Don't you believe people make mistakes?
And should be forgiven for those they make?
'Sure.
I've made quite a few myself.
And not one did I make,
Was an intention to undermine someone else,
Consciously.
Nor did I,
With a premeditation done...
Inflict sorrow on anyone.
Those are not 'mistakes'.
That is a remorse received for a thing done,
Now bringing feelings of guilt and grief.
Feelings of guilt that brings one grief,
Is a payback.
And those are divinely distributed.
Mistakes can be corrected.
Heartaches and 'breaks'...
Are way beyond my jurisdiction to mend.
They require much prayer and faith.
And that is what I have relied on to keep my head up,
To protect from those of destructive forces.
So those who choose to say,
They should be forgiven for making mistakes.
And expect a forgiveness done...
Are 'consciously' approving their own devious activities.
That is the way I see deeds done they do to leave.
With expectations to continue their deceptions.
After an appropriate forgiveness has been delivered.'
Those are not mistakes.
And there is quite a difference.'
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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These Acts Are Often Quickly Returned
I have never understood,
Why some people would take it upon themselves...
To say or do things with evil intentions to another,
And not perceive whatever is done they do...
Will not come to be done back to them?
And...
With a doing that never ends.
Once their doings have been discovered.
And those who believe others are sensitive,
When in the acceptance of misdeeds done...
That have come to affect their lives,
Should think of their own.
Especially when condoning the temptation to perform,
An approval of blind acts of thoughtlessness!
These acts are often quickly returned.
And with a specific and swift stinging!
'That's it!
No longer will my patience be misinterpreted.'
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Ones Second Thoughtlessness
Reaching up to press my best friends bell
On my tiptoes
Whatever made me climb this side of hell
Oh, God only knows
Lifting up another catch and slipping through the blind
Its... its so easy
Lighting up another match to see what I can find
Its... become so easy
But after a while
You can hear yourself breathe
What seems a long long while
You can feel yourself sealed
Ones second thoughtlessness
Nobodys home
Ones second thoughtlessness
Ones second thoughtlessness
Here up on my own
Ones second thoughtlessness
Sniffing around
Hope to get out
Smelling a scent
That something is up
Ive seen this song before
Is this the house my family lives - yes
Ah, Ive been here before
Yes, I did it because, because
Yes, I did it because
Yes, I did it because, because
Yes, yes, I did it because, because
No - because
Ones second thoughtlessness
I am my own
Ones second thoughtlessness
Ones second thoughtlessness
I stand alone
Ones second thoughtlessness
song performed by by Madness
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You've Made All of Them Liars
Let me set something strait...
Your apology stated to me,
May ease your consciousness.
And any feelings of guilt you may carry.
But the fact remains...
Your misdeeds introduced misery,
Heartache and pain in my life.
Caused by yourself and others you lied to!
That 'you' should accuse 'me' of being unforgiving,
I find absolutely ridiculous.
If I were you,
And I am thankful I am not.
I would apologize to everyone you told those lies to.
They are the ones to have suffered from what you've done.
Believing you to provide concrete information.
You've made all of them liars!
I didn't.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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People Do Make Mistakes
Sometimes people do make mistakes.
I've made some.
And who has not made a few?
But not knowingly at the expense of others.
And those who excuse these activities done,
As errors made unconsciously...
With proclamations for a wish to be forgiven,
Need to know how it feels to receive payback.
Directed and unmistakable.
And inflicted with the ease in which they were made.
With a consciousness applied and lessons taught.
To awaken anyone daring to use these excuses in the future.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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The Walls Of Your Castles Are Sure To Crumble And Fall
When one falls in love it can feel like walking on air
You feel you can overcome anything in your way
You feel that there’s nothing in life that can bring you down
Your depression and loneliness seem to disappear
The walls of your castles are sure to crumble and fall
The same walls you have built to keep your broken heart safe
From the possibility of feeling pain again
You will once again feel free to be happy in life
You no longer feel guilty deep within your freed soul
One feels that at last they have found true meaning in life
Finally mundane feelings become fewer between
They don’t matter they are trivial feelings for one
‘Tis real and you can feel it deep inside your core’s soul
Then you and your love will truly be known as a pair
poem by Edwin Tanguma
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But I Was Never Alone
I had to grow up,
Early.
There was no sheltered path,
Protecting steps...
I was made to correct.
By a sibling older...
I knew as I grew.
I had to grow up,
Early.
With a consciousness,
Of what to do.
And to face those consequences,
I lived to go through.
There were days of resentment.
There were days I spent alone.
There were days I wished,
For a childhood that was childish.
And today I am grateful,
For all of those experiences.
I learned through mistakes made,
And heartaches too.
I learned to listen,
With introspective comprehension.
My battles I fought.
And with time I recognized,
Those blessings to me God has brought!
I had to grow up,
Early.
With a consciousness,
Of what to do.
And to face those consequences,
I lived to go through.
But I was...
Never alone,
To be alone on my own.
And this to me,
God has shown.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Selective Memories
Those who believe they have feelings felt,
That should be given more of a priority
Over other human beings.
While they believe it is okay,
To do unto others as they please
As if blessed with the getting,
Of an attention?
Well
When I was raise,
The phrase that still applies
And has not faded away,
Do Unto Others As You Expect Them,
To Do Unto You~
Needs not to be updated,
To be re-clarified with an interpretation.
It seems to have a snug fit.
No matter what the language.
Some folks in the process of their doing,
Seem to have selective memories
When it comes to their intentional,
Misdeeds done.
And others in their forgiving,
Aren't so blessed to be possessed
With a forgetting.
They do not have that
As a selective choice from which to choose,
To erase from vivid memories.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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May Initially Hurt From The Dirt Dispersed
Once a mistreatment
Of trust has been discovered done
That's it!
All the drama in the world displayed
Is not going to restore one's faith
In that which has been mentally used to abuse
Apologies given with the asking of forgiveness
Is something one wishes when caught
That's it!
And that's all that that is
Like a roach stunned when caught
By the instant glaring of unexpected light
Apologies snapped together quickly
Rarely can be associated with sincerity
Apologies snapped together quickly
Is a quick way to remove one's burden
From a feeling of guilt
What else can it be?
An invitation to have icecream and cookies?
This is doubtful
Suspicious feelings felt
Don't overnight fade away
In fact
One's decision to sever all ties
From someone like this that lies
May initially hurt from the dirt dispersed
But, The benefit of having peace of mind
Is worth any looks from deceivers
One's willingness to be empathetic may get
And the getting rid of headaches
The moment they appear
Is therapeutic
There is nothing like submitting totally to truth
With the letting of the rest of that nonsense go
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Observation
Do not think you have used me without my knowledge.
Or that my silence is a sign of approval to be duped.
I have been aware of your activities,
The moment you began your snooping...
With a degarding of me you wish to succeed.
Why you have chosen me to proceed with misdeeds,
Has become a standard you value.
I waste no time with those who are fools.
However,
In that moment you began to degrade my efforts...
Was the beginning of your slide downhill.
I always tell those I don't know...
Be careful who you disrespect.
The power of the mind is a power undefined...
When one chooses to use it,
In ways unsuspected!
When ignorance is detected.
'The mind is a terrible thing to waste'
Is much more than a cliché just spoken.
Those who know that are patient!
Those who know that are elated.
Knowing who is on the list,
To receive a payback!
And it happens without fail,
For the one who prevails!
And seeks comprehension,
With a higher consciousness not mentioned.
And the use of observation that decreases tension!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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A Task To Mask My Weaknesses
It isn't as easy as it seems,
To teach anyone...
Who has established a mindset,
That whatever is done which they do...
Is okay no matter what it is.
Betraying others with a disrespect to display,
Is a thoughtlessness that increases to test...
Others to accept a mindset,
Deep in selfishness.
And kept protected in ways unsuspected.
Until one steps forward to protest this disregard,
There will be excuses made forever...
By the ones who perceive,
Others exist to cater to their needs.
To leave them to do as they choose and please.
'You can say what you like,
But never again...
Will I be giving you another opportunity,
To perceive my giving...
As a task to mask my weaknesses.'
No, never again will you interpret my giving,
As a task to mask my weaknesses.
No, never again will you interpret my giving,
As a task to mask my weaknesses.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Hard Feelings
Written by billy burnette and jeff silbar.
Now Im supposed to understand
Dont you think youre asking too much
What kind of fool do you think I am
Dont you think youve hurt me enough
Still you want to be friends
But I dont want to be just friends
So before you start with your sympathy
Just turn around and go
And if he breaks your heart, dont come crying to me
I wont be there anymore
Go ahead and cry your tears
cause Im not gonna dry your tears
Ive got hard feelings
When it comes to you and me
And these hard feelings
Just wont let me be
These hard feelings run deep
These hard feelings run deep
Ill be alright, dont you worry about me
Ill take care of myself
The first thing I need is you out of my life
The last thing I need is your help
Sorry I met you
Sorry I met you
I will forget you, someday
Ive got hard feelings
When it comes to you and me
And these hard feelings
Just wont let me be
These hard feelings run deep
These hard feelings run deep
Ive got hard feelings
When it comes to you and me
And these hard feelings
Just wont let me be
These hard feelings run deep
These hard feelings
Hard feelings
When it comes to you and me
And these hard feelings
Just wont let me be
These hard feelings run deep
These hard feelings run deep
Hard feelings
Just wont let me be
Hard feelings
Hard feelings
song performed by by Fleetwood Mac
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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For Pity's Sakes
Oft in the stilly night, I wake
for no reason apparently.
Then I recall each past mistake
that I have made regretfully.
A self inflicted punishment
for wrongful deeds which I recall
Some hurt I caused without intent.
The guilt I felt still lingers yet.
I fall asleep eventually
my guilty conscience satisfied.
Allows me to sleep peacefully.
My past misdeeds are set aside.
I can’t deny I made mistakes
so do we all for pity’s sakes.
11-Jan-08
poem by Ivor Or Ivor.e Hogg
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Vision Narrowed
You are right.
You did nothing to me.
From where you sit assessing it.
And from your point of view,
That keeps your vision narrowed.
With an approval of everything you do,
That keeps a truth deluded...
As it escapes for deceits to pursue.
I was wrong to think of you comprehending too.
With a broader consciousness,
One that evaluates what one does...
That affects what someone else,
Interprets as mistakes made.
But like other things about you,
You are afraid to remove a playing of charades.
And that's the way our mind relays.
You are right.
You did nothing to me.
You've done it to yourself...
With a consistent persistency.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Today I Do Not Stand Alone
Please,
I need no praises of platitudes from you.
I am just a basic man...
Encouraged by a mission,
That enforces me to take a stand.
And those who know my feelings are deep,
Have encouraged me to be the man I am.
I have never found my path taken,
Cleared free of debris.
I've witnessed obstacles laying upon it...
I thought impossible to free.
I am not stranger to heartache.
Or those emotions that have gone out of my control.
I've been approached by folks,
Who didn't know me at all...
But felt it okay to test me and provoke.
With faith I rid myself of doubts.
And today I am in constant prayer.
I know the truth about what love is!
And blessed I am to have those in my life...
Who are quick with me with theirs to share.
Please,
I need no praises of platitudes from you.
I am just a basic man...
Encouraged by a mission,
That enforces me to take a stand.
And those who know my feelings are deep
Have encouraged me to be the man I am.
I need no praises or platitudes,
To do what it is I am expected to do.
And if I was seeking an easy way out,
I'd be silent like the others...
With not a word you would hear,
Expressed publicly to come out of my mouth.
And on those stages I am glad to say,
Today I do not stand alone!
I am not a seeker to make speeches.
With an eye for open debate!
I desire to teach to leave lessons learned,
Some I hope are understood...
With a comprehension sacrifices have been made.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Dead And Gone
In years from now when I am dead and gone
Will people read the words that I had wrote
If they do will they agree with what they read
And if so truly, understand the feelings I had spoke.
Will they feel the pain and suffering that I felt
In the many days of my own life
Maybe they will etch my feelings inside their soul
And If so, I wonder for me if they will cry.
I wonder if anyone will go into a deep thought
After reading the words that I had spoke
And then will they think and understand that feeling too
While inside their soul or heart a memory I will had awoke.
Maybe they will be with me in those lonesome nights
When my soul and I felt so very alone
When I couldn't sleep so I had to write
While my soul stayed stationary, but my mind it did roam.
And will they feel the pain that I did feel
With every line that I suffered as I did write
Will they shed a tear that my lover never shed for me
While she was always in my heart and in my sight.
And when they finish my book and close it shut
Will they reflect my feelings as they walk away
Will they say they know the pain that I have felt
As they too had felt it in their very own days.
Will they cry the tears that was never cried for me
As they go searching for my last resting place
To give the sympathy they might say I deserve
While trying to visualize my soul through my face.
If they look and find and then walk unto my grave
I wander for me if i will receive long forgotten grieving
Telling me how sad and the pity they hold for me
After reading my words, maybe they will start believing.
And maybe they will walk to the graves of the others
The ones who did me wrong and who sealed my fate
Who made me the poet whom I had to become
Will they tell them their souls, and living they do hate.
So as I finish writing with these last few thoughts
I hope forever my words and feelings will continue on
As I know I am not alone and my pain is not fastened to me
But really who will know, until I am dead and gone.
Randy L. McClave
poem by Randy McClave
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Coming To Stick The Wicked With It
Each dismissal made,
Done in disrespect.
No matter how large or small,
Will someday be regretted.
There is a consciousness practiced,
Whether comprehended or not.
That is valued as part,
Of this Oneness that we are.
There are those who believe,
Others with feelings are less than theirs.
And what they say and do...
Just a few are aware.
But so untrue is this.
So false are these thoughts they have.
Pain felt inflicted is taken personal.
And those emotions dispensed...
Are connected to The Almighty.
And Supreme is this Creator.
Who controls and rules.
Determining 'all' final judgements.
With an impatience awaiting mindless fools.
Descending from the eternal foreverness.
And coming to stick the wicked with it!
The wicked ones addicted to their antics.
From all sides.
And on all shores...
Will this 'Presence' make 'Its' presence known.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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That Melancholy Feeling
Rows of epitaphs casting shadows on the graves
I, singing quietly, feel the tranquility in May
I walk along the pathways reminiscing memories
I stumble on an emerald meadow- among it many trees.
Serenity is breathing a soft and balanced tune
And time dies, left behind us, and now it feels like June
The field has brightened quickly, morphing into striking jade
The melancholy feeling is the one I can’t evade
Regretted turning memories into feelings of remorse
Because I feel the sadness of the loss that was so coarse
I finally felt no hunger; no thirst had then remained,
And time was passing quickly, losing memories I tamed.
The deceased deserve to live, but fairness is a scary game
And every day I quiver from the death of my beloved dame
August passed, September too, and still it felt so glum and blue
I left the field, took one more glance, and felt a feeling of romance
Without mind or heart she was, but I stayed wrapped in timeless thought
And in a web of life and love, I was trapped, enveloped, caught
And through this crazy labyrinth I trekked, and swiftly finished.
But I wanted to return, redeem a feeling that diminished.
I understood the consequences of staying far too long,
And so I left the bright green field, still searching for that song
A melody to release through catharsis my emotions
And pledge to portray to her my yearning for devotion
As the millennium adopted living memories in my mind
Of her and I, our tangled lives, experiences that bind
Our soul into one twisted state of one eternal fact
That even though I left her grave, our hearts were still intact.
poem by Sasha Ioffine
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Collective Disrespect
After one has given,
And thoughtlessness is returned.
Can another expect a forgiveness wished,
Once it has been determined...
Misunderstandings have been traced.
With a remorse that takes place!
Is it too much to asked,
Bad feelings be erased?
And who should take the first step...
To correct an integrity,
That has been defaced?
When a shame that could have been avoided,
Has been publicly introduced.
And known to many to have been a mistake!
How can this ever be a matter to forget?
As shown.
After one has given,
To receive collective disrespect!
And initiated by someone,
By an act condoned that has been overblown.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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