Related quotes: 'What's the greatest ever invention...

Inventions

'What's the greatest ever invention
the best the world has ever known?
some say it has to be the wheel
while others reckon it's the Telephone '
But a lot of people love their Television
then again we all like to listen to the radio
let's not forget everyday material though
like Nylon, Plastic, and good old Velcro.
Where would we be without transport?
for a start we wouldn't go very far
so how about the Steam Engine
or the Bicycle, Helicopter, or the Motor Car?
In our kitchens we have many appliances
like a freezer where we store food to save
also an Electric or a Gas Cooker
and where would we be without the Microwave?
But there's been hundreds of inventions
from a Paper Clip, Safety Pin, a Telescope,
Computers and the modern wonder of the Internet
down to Toothpaste, and a little bar of Soap.
So I decided to ask my elderly neighbour
while she stood chatting smoking her fag
'Elsie, what's the greatest ever invention? '
she replied: ' Cigarettes, and a Tetley Tea Bag! '

poem by Kevin Halls
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Related quotes

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

quote by Dave Barry
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Internet makes it possible for people like me to live the way I do now. Without it, I'd have to be in New York or some other city. I think the Internet is the greatest invention in history after antibiotics.

quote by Jane Haddam
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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My Inventions

My invention carries grim events,
At last the night has observed a rest;
To me you sound like my invention,
Opening of pages, closing of books.
These families of words rest and relax
Like the inhalation of the air by the lungs.
My heart has twitched and feared
From the slight whispers and customs.
My invention is sweet for the eyes of the public,
My inventions improve by the day.
My inventions cause us to be substances
So pure and lovely, to the touch and taste,
But do not just smell or sniff,
Also care for the people who are inventing.

poem by Naveed Akram
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A Shift in Perception

A senior citizen,
Who was bed ridden,
In the course of conversation
Calmly mentioned:

That these modern inventions
Are quite a boon.
Since I can not move,
I just order my groceries
And ask for home delivery.

The shopkeepers are eager to oblige
Without an extra charge.
When I had a fall,
I just called my doctor who makes home calls.

I surf the net
And have friends I haven’t met.
Age is no bar,
We chat for hours.

Since I can’t travel,
I see the world on Discovery Channel.
When I want to eat,
I just wheel myself to heat
The food my maid leaves
In the microwave.

When I want to switch off and relax,
I turn on the World Space.
I think I feel less lonely then my parents
When they were my age.

I walked back pondering,
He had the wisdom to count his blessings.
And had a shift in perception,
About these modern inventions.

poem by Mamta Agarwal
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The Greatest

[Intro]
(The the, the the, the the, the the)
Don't throw no roses on my grave, boo
That's not a soldier, it's more like an angel
You got no where to run, no one to pray to
Jesus and Moses ain't comin' to save you
(The greatest, the the the greatest)
I flow like a butterfly, I sting like a hornet
They won't let me have it
Not even if no one else want it
And if I try to take it
They wanna break me down and strip me naked
They write a brand new rule and break it
They lie, they cheat, they steal, they fake it
But I'mma make it, Lord I can take it
I'm the (The greatest man alive)
Cut the drama boy, save it for your mama
I'm the (The greatest man alive)
I can't sweat it, know I got to get it
I'm the (The greatest man alive)
Without no doubt, my name will survive
(The greatest the the greatest man alive)
(The greatest man)
(The greatest, the the)
I'mma make it, Lord I can take it
I'm the (The greatest man alive)
Cut the drama boy, save it for your mama
I'm the (The gratest man alive)
I can't sweat it, I know I got to get it
I'm the (The greatest man alive)
Without no doubt, my name will survive
(The, the greatest man alive)
(The greatest, the the greatest man)
(The the, the greatest man alive)
(The, the the greatest, the the the greatest man)
(The greatest man alive)
I'mma make it, know that I can take it
I'm the (The greatest man alive)
Cut the drama boy, save it for your mama
I'm the (The greatest man alive)
I can't sweat it, I know I gotta get it
I'm the (The greatest man alive)
Without no doubt my name will survive
(The greatest man, the greatest man alive)
It only gets harder
It always seems so far away
The sky's getting darker
Another storm is on the way
(The the greatest, the the the greatest,the the)
Another storm is on the way
(The the the the greatest, the the greatest)
(The greatest man alive)

song performed by by Everlast
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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In other words, what is supposedly found is an invention whose inventor is unaware of his act of invention, who considers it as something that exists independently of him; the invention then becomes the basis of his world view and actions.

quote by Paul Watzlawick
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Painting is not for me either decorative amusement, or the plastic invention of felt reality; it must be every time: invention, discovery, revelation.

quote by Max Ernst
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Greatest Sex

From beyond this bed of mine I see
Ceiling fans with you on top of me
And the window blinds are filled with rays of sun
And all you secret fantasies thy will be done (done)
And inside of your walls there will dwell a Capricorn
(that will feast your body all night)
If we keep this up then a love child will be born
All because
Of the greatest

[chorus]
The greatest you
The greatest me
We have found the greatest chemistry
The greatest touch
The greatest kiss
What came to be is the greatest wish
The greatest show
The greatest song
The greatest words
The greatest all night long
Baby your love stays constantly on my mind
This is the best sex I've ever had

I know twelve ways to make your love come down
And the secret places on you will be found
Like a voyage when the storm begins to roar
There's no telling what this night could have in store (in store)
Cause inside of your walls there will dwell a capricorn
(that will feast your body all night)
And if we keep this up then a love child will be born
All because
Of the greatest

Something that happened out the day for the sake of our love
Like a hand and glove we go together this love is forever oooh

This sex is so good I've got to break it down

song performed by by R. Kelly from TP-2.COM
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Greatest Sex

From beyond this bed of mine I see
Ceiling fans with you on top of me
And the window blinds are filled with rays of sun
And all you secret fantasies thy will be done done
And inside of your walls there will dwell a capricorn
That will feast your body all night
If we keep this up then a love child will be born
All because
Of the greatest
Chorus
The greatest you
The greatest me
We have found the greatest chemistry
The greatest touch
The greatest kiss
What came to be is the greatest wish
The greatest show
The greatest song
The greatest words
The greatest all night long
Baby your love stays constantly on my mind
This is the best sex Ive ever had
I know twelve ways to make your love come down
And the secret places on you will be found
Like a voyage when the storm begins to roar
Theres no telling what this night could have in store in store
Cause inside of your walls there will dwell a capricorn
That will feast your body all night
And if we keep this up then a love child will be born
All because
Of the greatest
Chorus
The greatest you
The greatest me
We have found the greatest chemistry
The greatest touch
The greatest kiss
What came to be is the greatest wish
The greatest show
The greatest song
The greatest words
The greatest all night long
Baby your love stays constantly on my mind
This is the best sex Ive ever had
Repeat 3x
Something that happened out the day for the sake of our love
Like a hand and glove we go together this love is forever oooh
This sex is so good Ive got to break it down

song performed by by R. Kelly
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home.

quote by David Frost
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The television is an invention that permits you to be entertained in your living room by people you wouldn't have in your home.

quote by David Frost
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Fight Back

fight back!
another store robbed,
broad daylight.

over the counter,
grab the money
from the register...

tries to run...
clerk hanging on,
another clerk joining in...

an elderly black woman trips
the suspect, another old man
jumps in to help....

had him down twice,
but he got away...
battered and bruised...

he'll think a while
before he comes back...
common everyday people

just trying to help....

an old car broke down
on the side of the road...
an elderly man standing there,

looking lost... two more old men
stop, and slowly but surely
push him down the road

to the nearest station....
common everyday people,
just trying to help....

the old couple evicted,
trying to load up what they can...
two sets of neighbors

come out and start helping,
borrow a truck, and start loading,
and scuff a few dollars

for gas and food....
common everyday people
just trying to help....

lay down your pipes,
your guns, turn off your tv's.
stop what you're doing...

fight back!

poem by Eric Cockrell
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Radio Silence

Signal fading, listen to what I'm saying
Testing, testing
This better be worth all of the breath I'm wasting
Maintaining radio silence from now on
Barricaded in the talk radio station
Hostage taken
The red "On Air" light shines on
Something cheaper that passes for free speech
Will have to do
Hear him coming through loud and clear
Trickling in your ear
He'll tell you anything you want to hear
The tape starts running
He's going to tell you something
The strings start strumming
Another humdrum conundrum
Signing off now
Maintaining radio silence from now on
But there's one thing I should have said
"The hostage will end up dead"
It's just a comedy
The hostage is me
So pay the ransom
Beyond the run-out groove
Get my wife down here
A helicopter on the roof
No police marksman
Maintaining radio silence from now on
Mystery voices
Drowned out by too much choice
That's not to mention
The sad waste of this wonderful invention
Maintaining radio silence from now on
Libraries filled up with failed ideas
There's nothing more for me there
I trust in tender ink and gentle airs
Do those drug dealers still polish women made of wax?
Gangsters and world leaders
Require the same protection from attack
From this distance it's hard to tell the difference
Between a king and a jack
Between a poet and hack
Maintaining radio silence from now on

song performed by by Elvis Costello
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I don't think necessity is the mother of invention - invention, in my opinion, arises directly from idleness, possibly also from laziness. To save oneself trouble.

quote by Agatha Christie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I don't think necessity is the mother of invention. Invention, in my opinion, arises directly from idleness, possibly also from laziness - to save oneself trouble.

quote by Agatha Christie
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You Are the Greatest

You are the greatest
My love you are the greatest
You make all things beautiful
To me your love is wonderful

Thou feedest me
When i am hungry
Giveth me waters
To quench my thirst

You put me first
Encourage me to be the best
You are the greatest
My love you are the greatest

You visited me
When i was in jail
You encouraged me to be
The head not the tail
You are the reason
I did not fail

You are the greatest
My love you are the greatest
You are my motivation
My source of power generation

Oh my savor
You are my heart desire
Truly you are my lover
May you live forever
You are the greatest
My love you are the greatest

poem by Matt Ancient
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All the world acknowledges that the invention of Gutenberg is the greatest event that secular history has recorded.

Mark Twain in Hartford Daily Courant (27 June 1900)
Submitted by Dan Costinaş
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Late Greats

The greatest lost track of all time:
The Late Greats' "Turpentine"
You can't hear it on the radio
You can't hear it anywhere you go
The best band will never get signed
K-Settes starring Butcher's Blind
Are so good, you won't ever know
They never even played a show
You can't hear 'em on the radio
The greatest singer in rock and roll
Would have to be Romeo
His vocal chords are made of gold
He just looks a little too old
The greatest lost track of all time:
The Late Greats' "Turpentine"
I can't hear it on the radio
I don't hear it anywhere I go
The best song will never get sung
The best life never leaves your lungs
So good, you won't ever know
I never hear it on the radio
Can't hear it on the radio

song performed by by Wilco
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Greatest Show On Earth

Love is like a circus and a carnival is beautiful to see
Love can turn your mind around like ferris wheels and spinning carosels
Youll be a part of the world of make believe
Flying high like a man on a trapeze
Oh, everyday is a holiday
Get your tickets right away
Love, love, love
Is the greatest show on earth
The fantasy you see is like a child again through rainbow colored eyes
Step right up its circus time and get your moneys worth of love today
Youll be a part of the world of make believe
Flying high like a man on a trapeze
Everyday is a holiday
Get your tickets right away
Love, love, yea
Is the greatest show on earth
Everyday is a holiday
Get your tickets right away
Love, love, love
Is the greatest show on earth
Love, love, love
Is the greatest show on earth (yea e yea)
Love, love, yea
Is the greatest show on earth
Love, love, yea

song performed by by Michael Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Greatest Show On Earth