“Never fear, ” carolled Carroll to Lear
and a nymph upon whom he would leer,
“all comes clear, Alice, dear,
in a limerick here, -
as son’s lusty lute’s dodgy and queer.”
quote by by Jonathan Robin
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(Dodgy Dave Tale) Plastic Flowers
(Dodgy Dave Tale) Plastic Flowers
This is another Dodgy Dave Tale that goes out
To all the romantics that have their doubts
See Dodgy states he is unromantically inclined
That could leave poor Vera maligned
(Vera his wife that this story is behind)
You see when your in love with a man
Women expect romantic gifts not just a hand
And Vera felt a little slighted here
Because it was flowers she lacked from her dear
So one day his wife and Dodgy Dave
Went out on the town not to misbehave
They decided to go to a Car Boot Sale
(Don't ask me what that is Dave knows that tale)
As they were walking along that day
Dodgy Dave came upon a plastic flower bouquet
Well he picked the thing up
And thought to himself...what luck
Now I have flowers to give to my gal
And she will think of me as her romantic pal
The moral of this silly story here
Is if you want to be unromantically clear
Give your loved one plastic flowers instead
And in return for your supper expect water and brown bread
28 Jan 2008
Psychoanalysis
The Changing phases of the soul
‘twixt simple cils, transparent gleam: -
dear smiles appear,
cheer while revered,
love sighs, - clear skies!
Here peer the eyes sincere
of each kind mind I meet.
There, ranged disgraces written whole,
through arrant, errant, pupils scream: -
queer wiles, veneer,
sheer rile, sneer speared,
jeers, cries, fear, lies,
sere tears, disguise! – sins leer
through each blind mind I treat!
26 December 1977
robi3_1361_robi3_0000 number out of chronological order
poem by Jonathan Robin
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Why You've Fear When I'm Here?
Why you've fear,
When I'm here?
Why shed a tear,
I'm not clear?
You're every year,
Grown up in fear,
That brings you tear,
When you aren't clear.
Show always a cheer,
In place of a tear,
That will, my dear,
Drive away your fear.
If still you've fear,
When I'm near,
You turn deaf ear,
To my words, dear.
I'm now clear,
That you've no fear,
Nor let a tear,
Down below your ear.
poem by Rajaram Ramachandran
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The Limerick
Edward Lear, poet and humorist
introduced the popular five-line
Limerick into England in the year
eighteen-twenty. I quote one
limerick by Edward himself,
followed by Starlite Cafe Poets:
Verse 1 - by Edward Lear:
There was a young lady of Riga
Who rode with a smile on a tiger
They returned from the ride
With the lady inside
And the smile on the face of the tiger.
Verse 2 - by John William McGrath:
There once was a man from Reno
Who went into a little casino
He lost all his pay
On that fateful day
To a fast-dealing young Philippino.
Verse 3 - by Joyce Hemsley:
There was a young lady from Hull
Who thought she was queen of them all
But to her surprise,
Not one of the guys
Asked her to dance at the Ball.
poem by Joyce Hemsley
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A January Fear
A sick day a sick day
I'll not make it all year
My class is all here
Down to each little sneer
A sick day a sick day
I'll not make it all year
Those cute little creatures
Have nothing to fear
A sick day a sick day
I'll not make it all year
Still knowing that teacher's
not entirely all here
A sick day a sick day
I'll not make it all year
Each little tear
Makes it perfectly clear
A sick day a sick day
I'll not make it all year
A day off is coming
And hopefully near
a sick day a sick day
I'll not make it all year
It's harder and harder
Maintaining my leer
A sick day a sick day
I'll not make it all year
Perhaps my behavior's
becoming quite queer
A sick day a sick day
I'll not make it all year
Perhaps in the morning
I'll call in and cheer
A SICK DAY A SICK DAY
I GOT A PAIN IN MY EAR
Alas...I can hear my principle sneer
With a resigning smirk easy to hear
NO SICK DAY NO SICK DAY
SORRY MY DEAR
NO SICK DAYS NO SICK DAYS
REMAINING THIS YEAR
poem by Robert John Meehan
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Marvin's Beer
queer cheer
dear ear sneer
steer fear
veer tear
we're mere
jeer here freer
air dire pier
all clear
adhere
appear austere
come near
desire draw dear
each year
first gear
great year
frontier
pap smear
life peer
light year
revere sincere
fallow deer
far and near
bashir chusmir
mouse deer
orear one year
appear
it's all clear.
budgeteer
bombardier
a case of beer
exovir cavalier
another case
of marvin's beer
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Kiss my idea
What is a kiss?
But a present full of bliss
Always in your life
From a mother’s smacker
To your girlfriend’s cracker
To the one that caused you strife
A kiss when you were born
And a kiss, when
From this world you’re torn
A kiss can signal the beginning of the end
Always wandering on without pretend
Don’t take them for granted
Don’t give them away as if in a market
Hold them dear
Keep them near
No more leer
Let us cheer
Now I’m clear
Have no fear
Kiss my idea
poem by Marco Driver
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How I Became Known As Dodgy Dave
From time to time people ask me
how I got the name Dodgy Dave
and why I take no offence at it.
The story starts about six or seven years ago
when I joined a Western Re-Enactment Society.
I went to help build a western town
that eventually became know as Deadwood.
As the date for near completion came
the only building left to be finished was the Church.
The original builders had left it only half built.
The owner of the farm
on which the town is built
wanted it finished for our grand opening day.
Someone suggested that because of all the help,
I had given, why I don’t take it on
and they would help me finish it,
but I needed a town name
that would go along with the building,
I thought for a moment and then said
what about Reverend Mr Black
after the old Kingston Trio song.
So for a couple of years
I became known as Rev. Mr Black.
Two of my friends Buck and Caroline
(better know to one and all as Caz)
were planning their wedding.
They were going to have an official ceremony
on the Friday and on the Saturday;
they were to have another wedding in the town.
They asked if I would marry them in the town ceremony.
I told them I would be honoured.
Caz then went around telling everyone,
family and friends
that Dodgy Dave the vicar was going to marry them,
but he isn’t dodgy,
it’s just my pet name for him.
Soon everybody started calling me Dodgy Dave.
However, with every nice story
somehow sadness always intervenes.
Six weeks before their wedding,
this pretty woman who had renamed me Dodgy Dave
died at the tender age of thirty.
We held a wake for her in the town
on the day she and Buck were to marry.
It was a sad affair,
but her memory remains with me
every time someone calls me Dodgy Dave.
There are so many memories attached to that name.
It was never given out of malice,
but out of friendship sincere.
Now the name Dodgy Dave
has become very dear to me.
I use it all the time,
because when I do it reminds me
of the young woman with fair hair
whose friendship I treasured so
and I never want to let the memory of her go.
So there you have it
the story behind the christening
of me to Dodgy Dave
11 March 2008
poem by David Harris
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'But I don't want to go among mad people,' said Alice. 'Oh, you can't help that,' said the cat. 'We're all mad here.'
quote by Lewis Carroll
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hickory Phil
In the land where the eagle flies over the dollar bill
Way back when the liberty tree was new
In a town by the sea
lived a man named Hickory Phil
A poet of much renowned was he
With his lustful tales of life and love
And haunting sea chanteys
And a dirty little limerick to give his fans a thrill
One day a judge came to see Hickory Phil
In that town by the sea
” Phil, sit and listen to me”
Phil sat and gave an ear
In that town by the sea
You must give up your lusty tales of life and love
And instead pray to the Lord above
For if you do not then I fear
You will no longer live in this town by the sea
Old Phil a clever man was he
To the judge he turned to speak
In that town by the sea
And spoke something quite unique
Dear God on high above
Please tell me of the girl I love
Please answer this one simple request
about her soft breasts
That I just want to get hold of
©JPM 2/25/10
'What is the use of a book,' thought Alice, 'without pictures or conversations'
quote by Lewis Carroll
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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'What is the use of a book', thought Alice, 'without pictures or conversations?'
quote by Lewis Carroll
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Threefold
Poet Edward Lear introduced
the 'nonsense' five-line limerick
into Britain many years ago;
I quote one by Edward himself
followed by two Starlite Cafe
Poets.
One ~ Edward Lear:
There was a young lady whose eyes
Were unique as to colour and size
When she opened them wide
People all turned aside
And started away in surprise.
Two ~ John William McGrath:
There once was a man from Kentucky
Who thought that life was just ducky
Wherever he'd go
He'd put on a show
Making everyone feel they were lucky.
Three ~ Joyce Hemsley:
There was a young lady from Devon
Who knew an old gent on cloud seven
He said: Come be my bride
But she pretty-near died
At the mere thought of going to heaven.
poem by Joyce Hemsley
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A Frostry Night
Mother: Alice, dear, what ails you,
Dazed and white and shaken?
Has the chill night numbed you?
Is it fright you have taken?
Alice: Mother I am very well,
I felt never better;
Mother, do not hold me so,
Let me write my letter.
Mother: Sweet, my dear, what ails you?
Alice: No, but I am well.
The night was cold and frosty,
There's no more to tell.
Mother: Ay, the night was frosty,
Coldly gaped the moon,
Yet the birds seemed twittering
Through green boughs of June.
Soft and thick the snow lay,
Stars danced in the sky.
Not all the lambs of May-day
Skip so bold and high.
Your feet were dancing, Alice,
Seemed to dance on air,
You looked a ghost or angel
In the starlight there.
Your eyes were frosted starlight,
Your heart, fire, and snow.
Who was it said 'I love you?'
Alice: Mother, let me go!
poem by Robert Graves
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Togo
My friend Hendrick lives in Togo,
So i don visit him from time to time;
But the windows of your love lie next to him.
Dear, pear, hear, fear, wear, sear, tear, clear!
Take a trip with me and let us meet Hendrick;
Bear, ear, gear, hear, queer, rear, year!
He is my friend and i want to introduce himt to you,
For the muse of peace and love need us all.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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This limerick goes in reverse
Unless I'm remiss
The neat thing is this:
If you start from the bottom-most verse
This limerick's not any worse.
by Zach Weiner from Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Submitted by Dan Costinaş
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My Bitter Sweet
Oh, Night!
How peaceful you are my Starful night
You sorrowful delight
You bitter sweet
You dark desireful with light
Though all these pains around
You still so clear and kind
You're my only honest friend
You never leave me alone
like other friends
Every day you are here
Sweet and so dear
With dark face you come my near
With wandered eyes you gaze with fear
I know you care and fear
To see me tear
Till asking me
How I am! Oh!
How you are dear
You sit by my side and shead tear
My charmful night stay so dear!
People all changed,
Please you stay so kind and dear
Alone I Fear!
poem by Sossi Khachadourian
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In This Time Of The Year
My heart is in yearn
Memories are coming near
My longing and my yearn
In this time of the year
In this time of the year
All those who were dear
Still are living here
Even their voices still I can hear
In this time of the year
Sentiments melted with tear
Inside my heart love emotions gathered with fear
Ah in this time of the year
I can feel so neat
Compassion for everything
for everyone increased a beat
I can see the realities so clear
What's and who's Lear
In this time of the year
we are standing here
Out of the time we are in fear
Hearts are tired war's pain hard to bear
In this time of the year
Ah aches are in heat
Sorrows melted with my heart's beat.
The clock on the wall has stopped before millions of years.
poem by Sossi Khachadourian
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Sledge
Sledge, edge, led, seed, see, gel, lees, deg;
Sprinkle it all over and let me come to you,
For the anointing oil is now with you.
Deer, peer, seer, jeer, beer, veer, leer, queer!
Movable is the muse of your love;
But the performances of the laws are needed by us all,
And like the two male lambs seen around your compound.
poem by Edward Kofi Louis
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Shyrene
Once upon my nocturne sorrow,
As I delineate the morrow,
Of a dream, flourishing in might,
To fizzle in the morning light,
Such when the waves swept me ocean,
Of glum, beneath skies, cerulean,
As my memory holds serene,
The fairest woodland nymph, Shyrene;
As queer apparition, wandered,
Seems my sanity, it squandered,
When gayly danced on my window,
A pallid dew and a rainbow,
Through the night, and half my bottle,
All my memories they scuttle,
Except one that I held serene,
That of my woodland nymph, Shyrene;
Here's that last dropp of oblivion,
In this outpouring of passion,
Towards sea of nepenthe borne,
Among vile flotsam, it's been thrown,
With enduring squall, still raging,
And the seething swell, rampaging,
Yet, in my memory serene,
Plays my fair woodland nymph, Shyrene.
poem by Reyvrex Questor Reyes
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