The Lottery Monster

Get you purses out ladies
And rattle your cash
Get along to the ticket-booth
Go have a bash;
Your pounds and your pennies
I'm longing to see
I'm the Lottery monster
So listen to me.

The Lottery monster
He has to be fed
He lives on cold cash
Just as you live on bread;
So throw any caution you had
To the wind
Your jackpotted dreams
To six numbers are pinned.

The holiday money
You keep in that tin
Could net you ten million
'Cause SOMEONE must win;
So search out your cash
In your jackets and jeans
Your husband can diet
The kids can eat beans.

Look it isn't a crime
So go on, have a flutter
Never mind that it's needed
For bread and for butter;
Reduce all the chatting
You do on the 'phone
Let the fire go out
And then go get a loan.

See according to all of
The facts and the data
You're bound to start winning...
Sooner or later;
And there's always next week
If your numbers weren't right
But I won't be skint
On a Saturday night.

Written March 1996

poem by John Carter BrownReport problemRelated quotes
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Lucky?

The lottery hit well over 500 million bucks,
And everyone was making plans
As if they'd already got the dough -
Some made lists of unneeded vices,
Others, plans to invest it all
(' 500 million just isn't enough these days ya know! ') -
So many - who mind you hadn't even won yet -
Were quickly showing signs of paranoia,
Plans to move far away, change phone numbers, get lawyers,
security systems, gaurds, and guns!
(' gotta be prepared ya know,
this kinda cash can cause friends to turn on ya! ') -
The day before they lived without a worry.
Then so suddenly, overcome with the emotion of it all
Their fear ran amuck:
' What if strangers call,
asking for a buck? ! '
' How dare the vagrants so bold be,
to ask for even a pittance
from one of such wealth as me? ! '

- Thinking of all that everyone had said,
It sort of went to my head.
So naturally I started to plan,
What if I was that winning man? ... what would I do?
- I'd buy a jet!
...no, I get air sick.
- I'd buy a yacht!
...no, I get sea sick.
- I'd buy a mansion overlooking L.A.!
...no, the smog makes me sick.

Then it hit me, hard and low.
I'm just not cut out to be rich.
... for no matter what, I am simply an average 'Joe'.
Even merely pondering over that kind of gross cash
Gave me a heartfelt fit.
Just the thought of being a wealthy snob
... really does make me sick!

So here, please
Take these lottery tickets back.
I've decided to be content,
Just a sittin' peacefully
Over here on the 'poor' side of the tracks.

poem by Smoky HossReport problemRelated quotes
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Cash In Your Face

You just could not know how long we tried
To see how this building looks inside
This must be a lucky day for me
Because the sign says theres a vacancy
Look I know you came a long way
But you made it just too late
So we had to give it to somebody else
Well I talked to you on the phone less than fifteen minutes ago
And you told me that it was cool
I graduated from howard u.
My job is paying good money too
And if you check on my resume
Youll find they all wanted me to stay
Well I cant take the time out
To check your credit card
cause the computer just broke down today
Well Ill stop by here tomorrow to complete our interview
But I know what youre gonna say
I know what your bottomline is
You might have the cash but you
Can...not cash in your face
We dont want you living in here
Say you might have the cash but you
Can...not cash in your face
We dont want your kind living in here
Too-oo, too-oo too bad,
Too-oo, too-oo too sad
Our first child is due here any day
Thats why were desperate for a place to stay
The location is so perfect too
So please try to do what you can do
Well in this apartment complex no children are allowed
And if you told me that I could have saved you alot of time
Well I thought the bill was passed that said you could not discriminate
But I know some excuse youll find
Because your bottom line is
You might have the cash but you
Can...not cash in your face
We dont want you living in here
Say you might have the cash but you
Can...not cash in your face
We dont want your kind living in here
Aye, you might be a great doctor
You might be a great lawyer
You might possess the key to the city
Or maybe a politician
You might have the cash but you
Can...not cash in your face
We dont want you living in here
Say you might have the cash but you
Can...not cash in your face
We dont want your kind living in here

song performed by by Stevie WonderReport problemRelated quotes
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If Cohen Would

O, Cohen, hear our song of sentiment!
Withdraw thy sordid thoughts from cent. per cent.,
And, for, the sake of Empire, gentle Yid,
Lend us a million quid.

If England's great Financial Houses would
Back up our aspirations as they should,
If we could influence cold £ s. d.
By sentiment and words of loyalty,
What joy - and cash - were ours! Ay, what a loan
We'd gaily spend - if our true aims were known.
How might we proudly flaunt our nationhood!
If Cohen only would.


If uncle owned a little sentiment,
And pondered less upon his much per cent.;
If blind financiers could he made to see
The high cash value of our loyalty,
How they would rush, with many offers rash,
And load us up with piles and piles of cash;
And gladly shower rich gifts upon the land,
Could they but understand!

Behold the grand beginning we have made!
When Empire called us, did we stand afraid?
Nay; but we said, 'We are the proud new land!
And with the nations shall we take our stand.
The arms to guard our shores shall be our own!
If, please, you will assist us with a loan,
We'll teach our foes that their designs are rash!...
Do you advance the cash?'

Alas! he turns a deaf ear to our claims;
For gushing loyalty and noble aims
With Cohen count for poor security.
There is no sentiment in £ s. d.,
For who would search grey London through and through
And hope to find the Sentimental Jew;
Then crave a loan on aspirations? Nay!
'Der bishness vouldn't bay.'

O Cohen, if thine heart we cannot touch,
Then on the old pawn-ticket, say, how much?
Thou wilt advance in cash to guard for thee
Thine old security?

poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus DennisReport problemRelated quotes
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I Want A Monster To Be My Friend

Some kids just love
To play with dolls
Or put on funny hats
And some make pets
Of birds and fish
And dogs and
Alley cats
That's not the way
I like to play
I'm tired of all these
I need a very
Special friend
Won't you
Help me please?
I want a monster
To be my playmate
I want a monster
To be my friend
I want to get
For my own pet
A real live monster
Who's not pretend
Oh, I want a monster
To be my playmate
We'd soon become
Good friends because
Although they're hairy
And sometimes scary
They have such soft
And furry paws
If I make friends with
A friendly monster
I'd be the best that a
friend could be
I'd let him do
Whatever he wants to
And he'd always
Belong to me
So, if you know a
Nice old monster
If you've a monster
To recommend
Ooh, golly gee
Please send him to me
I just can't wait
Until then!
I want a monster
A real live monster
I want a monster
Send me my monster
I want a monster
A real live monster
I want a monster
Send my monster
I want a monster
A real live monster
I want a monster
To be my friend!
Oh please
Send my monster
Does anybody have
A monster out there
I'll take a
Secondhand monster
He doesn't have
To be new

song performed by by En VogueReport problemRelated quotes
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Mucho Money

Ay wa sin-wa-yay ay-wa
Ay wa sin-wa-yay ay-wa
Dont you bring me any flowers; flowers wither by the day
No more promise of tomorrows, notodays or yesterdays
Just give me some cash
Ay wa sin-wa-yay ay-wa
Ay wa sin-wa-yay ay-wa
Mucho money, mucho money, mucho money, mucho money y mas, y mas, y mas, y mas
Ay wa sin-wa-yay ay-wa
Ay wa sin-wa-yay ay-wa
Aint no need for explaination, of a hundred throw away
Ill give you the satisfaction, and you send some cash my way
Eh, no money, no funny!
Ay wa sin-wa-yay ay-wa
Ay wa sin-wa-yay ay-wa
Mucho money, mucho money, mucho money, mucho money y mas, y mas, y mas
Ay wa sin-wa-yay ay-wa
Ay wa sin-wa-yay ay-wa
With the cash there in your pocket; youre the king, youre where its at
Ay wa sin-wa-yay ay-wa
Ay wa sin-wa-yay ay-wa
Ay wa sin-wa-yay ay-wa
Ay wa sin-wa-yay ay-wa

song performed by by Gloria EstefanReport problemRelated quotes
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Mountain Song

comin' down the mountain
one of many children
everybody has
their own opinion
everybody has
their own opinion
holding it back
hurts so bad
jumping out of my flesh
and i said

cash in!
cash in now honey
cash in now
cash in now
cash in now honey
cash in miss smith
cash in now!

i was comin down the mountain
met a child she had pin eyes
we had the same opinion
had the same opinion
she was holding it back
it hurts do bad
jumping out of her flesh
and i said

cash in!
cash in now honey
cash in now
cash in now
cash in now honey
cash in miss smith
cash in now!

song performed by by Jane's Addiction from Nothing's ShockingReport problemRelated quotes
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Lottery Ticket

'A ticket for the lottery
I've purchased every week,' said she
'For years a score
Though desperately poor am I,
Oh how I've scrimped and scraped to buy
One chance more.

Each week I think I'll gain the prize,
And end my sorrows and my sighs,
For I'll be rich;
Then nevermore I'll eat bread dry,
With icy hands to cry and cry
And stitch and stitch.'

'Tis true she won the premier prize;
It was of formidable size,
Ten million francs.
I know, because the man who sold
It to her splenically told
He got no thanks.

The lucky one was never found,
For she was snugly underground,
And minus breath;
And with that ticket tucked away,
In some old stocking, so they say,
She starved to death.

poem by Robert William ServiceReport problemRelated quotes
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Your Cash Ain't Nothing But Trash

(c. calhoun)
Walking down the main drag one night
I met a fine chick that looked- just right
She stopped in and i flashed my roll
I told her she could have all of my dough
She turned around, and with a fround
She said this ain't no circus and i don't need a clown
Your cash ain't nothin' but trash
Your cash ain't nothin' but trash
Your cash ain't nothin' but trash
So there ain't no need in your hangin' around
Just to make the hit with that chick
I tried to get a cadillac right quick
The man at the place looked so strange
I had nine hundred bucks and some change
We disagreed, i tried to pleed
He said i ain't no chicken and i don't need your feed
Your cash ain't nothin' but trash
Your cash ain't nothin' but trash
Your cash ain't nothin' but trash
Then brother you're crawling we passed your speed
I'm walking and countin my bucks
The man with the gun said hands up
I tried to get away but i was too slow
He caught me and took all of my dough
I heard him shout, as he cut out
"you really lost nothing what you're crying about?"
Your cash ain't nothin' but trash
Your cash ain't nothin' but trash
Your cash ain't nothin' but trash
And he took my watch and i passed out
I woke in the arms of a big cop
Police station next stop
The judge swung his fist down plunk plunk
Twenty dollar fine 'cause you're drunk
Dig up the dough, and you can go
And all i had was a buffalo
Your cash ain't nothin' but trash
Your cash ain't nothin' but trash
Your cash ain't nothin' but trash
But i sure better get me some more

song performed by by Huey Lewis And The NewsReport problemRelated quotes
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Million Dollar Bash (1)

by Bob Dylan
Well, that big dumb blonde
With her wheel in the gorge
And Turtle, that friend of theirs
With his checks all forged
And his cheeks in a chunk
With his cheese in the cash
They're all gonna be there
At that million dollar bash
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee
It's that million dollar bash
Ev'rybody from right now
To over there and back
The louder they come
The harder they crack
Come now, sweet cream
Don't forget to flash
We're all gonna meet
At that million dollar bash
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee
It's that million dollar bash
Well, I took my counselor
Out to the barn
Silly Nelly was there
She told him a yarn
Then along came Jones
Emptied the trash
Ev'rybody went down
To that million dollar bash
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee
It's that million dollar bash
Well, I'm hittin' it too hard
My stones won't take
I get up in the mornin'
But it's too early to wake
First it's hello, goodbye
Then push and then crash
But we're all gonna make it
At that million dollar bash
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee
It's that million dollar bash
Well, I looked at my watch
I looked at my wrist
Punched myself in the face
With my fist
I took my potatoes
Down to be mashed
Then I made it over
To that million dollar bash
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee
It's that million dollar bash

song performed by by Bob DylanReport problemRelated quotes
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Six Foot Man

Well I was born six feet tall,
With no loving at all,
Had to rummage through my life of misery.
I had to go from place to place,
Never recognise my face,
I'm the moody man you never ever see.
Well, one day I placed a bet,
With the money I had left,
Did not know what the future held for me.
Through all the suffering and the pain,
If there's one thing that I've gained,
That's the patience that I now receive.
Poor boy,
Rich boy,
Well, what you gonna do boy?
Now that you have taken all the joy, oh, oh, oh.
And by the very next week,
I had headed a lucky streak,
I had won the lottery, four million pounds.
Opinion seemed to change so fast,
People hear that you've got cash,
? every single woman in this town.
Now I've got my limousine,
And the yacht upon the sea,
And the thousand friends I've never met before.
Through all the suffering and the pain,
Butthere's one thing that I've gained,
That's the knowledge that had when I was poor.
I was a poor boy,
Now I'm a rich boy,
Well, what you gonna do boy?
Now that you have taken all the joy, oh, oh, oh.

song performed by by ZutonsReport problemRelated quotes
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Million Dollar Bash

Well, that big dumb blonde
With her wheel in the gorge
And turtle, that friend of theirs
With his checks all forged
And his cheeks in a chunk
With his cheese in the cash
Theyre all gonna be there
At that million dollar bash
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee
Its that million dollar bash
Evrybody from right now
To over there and back
The louder they come
The harder they crack
Come now, sweet cream
Dont forget to flash
Were all gonna meet
At that million dollar bash
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee
Its that million dollar bash
Well, I took my counselor
Out to the barn
Silly nelly was there
She told him a yarn
Then along came jones
Emptied the trash
Evrybody went down
To that million dollar bash
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee
Its that million dollar bash
Well, Im hittin it too hard
My stones wont take
I get up in the mornin
But its too early to wake
First its hello, goodbye
Then push and then crash
But were all gonna make it
At that million dollar bash
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee
Its that million dollar bash
Well, I looked at my watch
I looked at my wrist
Punched myself in the face
With my fist
I took my potatoes
Down to be mashed
Then I made it over
To that million dollar bash
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee
Ooh, baby, ooh-ee
Its that million dollar bash

song performed by by Bob DylanReport problemRelated quotes
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Lottery

I have never won the lottery
but if I ever did I'd buy
A lovely little run a round car
something pleasing to my eye

The color of my car would be yellow
it would be nick named The sun
I would drive to all the beaches
having loads of holiday fun

I have never won the lottery
maybe that's because I do not play
but the thought of winning millions
just blows my mind away

By Marie Causey

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Fragment from Sappho

some say.....
golden children....
a gracious wife....

a house on a hill
a summergarden...
slung with a hammock..

tillable land.......
cash in the hand....
no bills to pay.....

abundant health.....
a lusty life........
free from strife....

good conscience....
a great body.......
the god's-peace

winning the lottery....
.......................
....... ................

but I say.............
......................
... ...................

poem by Morgan MichaelsReport problemRelated quotes
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Numerical Tyranny

Who conspired
this needless need for
the numbers?
Now we all live in fear of
the numbers
tremble at the feet of
the numbers
live our lives according to the demands of
the numbers
Identify ourselves by
the numbers
we've sold ourselves short with
the numbers
locked ourselves in a cell with
the numbers
no one believes they can escape
the numbers
our status our worth
our health our happiness
all dictated by
the numbers
Who are you?
Are you just another
number?

For if only we could see the truth behind
the numbers:
the truth being
there is only one number
that number is one
and that one stretches on
through infinitude.

poem by Gregory Allen UhanReport problemRelated quotes
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I Know It 'Aint' Been That Easy

I know it 'aint' been that easy...
Cash strapped,
And on your own.

I know it 'aint' been that easy...
Making ends meet,
And feeding.
With nothing to spare for treats.

I know it 'aint' been that easy...
Cash strapped,
Like that.

I know it 'aint' been that easy...
Living alone,
And the money's gone.

I know it 'aint' been that easy...
Like that,
Cash strapped.

I know it 'aint' been that easy...
Being alone,
And on your own.
Doing your best,
And the money's gone.
Living a life that is condoned,
You manage.

And I know it aint been that easy...
Cash strapped and trapped.
I know it aint been that easy...
Cash strapped and trapped.

I know it aint been that easy,
Being alone,
And on your own.
Doing your best,
And the money's gone.
Living a life that is condoned,
You manage.

Being alone,
And on your own.
Doing your best,
And the money's gone.
Living a life that is condoned,
You manage.

I know it 'aint' been that easy...
Cash strapped,
Like that.

I know it 'aint' been that easy...
Cash strapped,
And on your own.

I know it 'aint' been that easy...
Cash strapped,
Like that.

I know it 'aint' been that easy...
Cash strapped,
And on your own...
Doing the best you do to make it through

poem by Lawrence S. PertillarReport problemRelated quotes
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A bitter pill implies where I belong

I signed the back of a lottery ticket, filled the name and address clearly.
The night is sleeping but still I am awake in a Gas station to fulfill the boisterous vehicles.
I hear a whisper in my decaying wallet.
'Hey! Dear this is not the winning ticket exactly but a day would be appeared and bring you the lucky chance soon.' The lottery muttered.
After a lazy yawn I speak to myself;
'Nowadays the papers talk much while the poor people shut their mouths as nothing to put in for digest.'

* To Gheorghe Zamfir!
Your divine magical pan flute's notes impress me how to grab the fleeing life?

poem by Nimal DunuhingaReport problemRelated quotes
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Christmas Shopping

On Saturday last, we made a mound
Of lovely, shiny golden pounds.
Customers queued down the aisles:
In their baskets, goods were piled.

All day long, the tills were ringing;
Their money, to us, people were bringing.
Three hundred pounds, in ten minutes flat,
Was taken by till staff, wearing Santa hats.

Shop Floor Assistants raced to and fro;
Of customers, there was a constant flow.
Tons of stock was stacked on the shelves:
We were kept as busy as Santa's elves.

By close of day, the store was trashed,
But, at least we made a mountain of cash.
We had to stay late to finish the facing;
To get the job done, we were racing.

Many people had received their last pay:
Their final one before Christmas Day.
The cash was counted and we did land
Ourselves a total of eighteen grand.

poem by Angela WybrowReport problemRelated quotes
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Dollar Science

'If you send a thousand dollars,
Then God will bless your heart! '
Yet no matter how he hollers,
I've no money for a start...

That preacher guy won't get my cash
Because the cash ain't there,
In any case, I won't be rash,
So he's a billionaire...

He doesn't need a mansion home
With swimming pool to match,
Or fancy jet to fly to Rome,
If there's some plane to catch...

No wife have I, no kids have I,
So why the heck should he?
And while there's starving kids that die,
I'll think of them not me...

He doesn't need a temple site
To worship God above,
He doesn't need the widow's mite
To prove that she's got love...

He'll not get a single penny,
He'll not get a single dime!
He's no prayer of getting any,
When he's just a waste of time!

poem by Denis MartindaleReport problemRelated quotes
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Gutted

Now where did I put it
it must be here somewhere
could it be down the sofa
or the back of that big chair?
Maybe it slipped out of my jeans
when I was tending the flowerbed
I know I'll look around the garden
but did I leave it in the shed?
I've looked all over the place
searched every cupboard and drawer
I hope the dog hasn't chewed it up
he'll eat anything that's left on the floor.
EUREKA! I've found my Euro millions ticket
And I'm so happy and glad that I did
because I've got all of the winning numbers
I've won twenty million quid!
So why then aren't I really happy
and jumping about in a wild and crazy state?
well I did have all the correct numbers
but alas, it was for the wrong bloody date!

poem by Kevin HallsReport problemRelated quotes
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Cry Cry Cry

Third Eye Blind Feat. Merle Haggard
Johnny Cash, Johnny Cash, Johnny Cash, Johnny Cash,
Johnny Cash trying to calm the criminal, soothed and imprisoned by a Memphis summer hymnal, with a saftey razor and a good man's nightmare, and that long road out of here paved with words that he don't believe, and a bitch of a woman caused the man in black to grieve
Everybody knows where you go when the sun goes down
I think you only live to see the lights of town
I wasted my time when I would try, try, try
Cause when the lights have lost their glow you'll cry, cry, cry
Soon your sugardaddies will all be gone
You wake up some cold day and find you're alone
You'll call for me but I'm gonna tell you bye, bye, bye
When I turn around and walk away you'll cry, cry, cry
You're gonna cry, cry, cry and you'll cry alone
When everyone's forgotten and you're left on your own
You're gonna cry, cry, cry
I lie awake at night to wait till you come in
You stay a little while and then you're gone again
Every question that I ask I get a lie, lie, lie
For every lie you tell you're gonna cry, cry, cry
You're gonna cry, and then you'll, you'll cry alone
When everyone's forgotten and you're left on your own
You're gonna cry, cry, cry, cry
When your fickle love gets old, and no one will care for you
You'll come back for me for a little love that's true
I'll tell you no and then you'll ask me why, why, why
When I remind you of all of this you'll cry, cry, cry
You're gonna cry, cry, cry and you, you'll want me then
It'll hurt when you think of all the fool you've been
You're gonna cry, cry, cry, cry
Cry, cry, cry, cry
You're gonna cry, cry, cry
Johnny Cash trying to calm the criminal, soothed and imprisoned by a Memphis summer hymnal, with a saftey razor...
It's gonna hurt you, hurt you

song performed by by Third Eye BlindReport problemRelated quotes
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