Related quotes: 'Mankind has descended from monkeys'...

I'm not an Ape Man

'Mankind has descended from monkeys'
I heard on the telly last week;
The scientists say that it's certain,
I say that I think they've a cheek.

Just because our design is so similar
To monkeys and apes and baboons;
I don't reckon those chimps in the advert'
Have a clue what to do with those spoons.

I'm not fooled by their lovable antics,
And the 'smiles' that play on their lips;
It's an insult to dress them like humans,
And force them to drink P.G. tips.

We sit them in front of a mirror
Like a schoolmaster would do a dunce,
Then say: 'yes they've got self awareness'
If they do not attack it at once.

If it's true we're descended from monkeys
Why is it there's some of them left,
Why is it there's still some evolving
And the world isn't monkey bereft?

No, my mind is made up on the matter,
And it wasn't made up in a tree;
Let the scientist say what he wants to,
But he won't make a monkey of me!

Written Jan 1996

poem by John Carter Brown
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!

Related quotes

More Fun Than A Barrel Of Monkeys

there are multiple questions pertaining to the concept,
'more fun than a barrel of monkeys.'

how big is the barrel?
how many monkeys are we talking about?
how big are the monkeys? Are we talking spider monkeys, chimps, baboons or what?
Are the monkeys old or young and where's the barrel, inside or outside?

If you leave the monkeys in the barrel, you got a problem:
they'll die in their own excrement,
if you lift the lid and let them out,
they might kill you.

a monkey can rip out your eyes, is that fun?
monkeys, leaping and running around the house, can do a lot of damage, is that fun?
monkeys are dirty, so... what exactly do you consider fun?
what's it going to be like trying to get the monkeys back in the barrel?
would that be fun?

what would the neighbors think of you, if you released the monkeys into their yards?
what happens if the police gets involved?
it could mean everything imaginable is more fun than a barrel of these animals.
maybe even more fun than a barrel of human beings.

poem by Richard Jarboe
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!

Know that a monkey is on your back

There is a monkey on your back

At any point of time each one of us is carrying a monkey on the back.

Whether you like it or not your thoughts, words and deeds are determined by this very powerful monkey.

This monkey is nothing but a personification of the tasks either
assigned to you or taken up on your own.

The life line of the monkey is the strong desire that you nurse to
accomplish these tasks.

You may not know that you only feed this monkey and make it naughty.

They quality of your feed and its extent depend on your knowledge, attitude and earlier practices.

Often, wittingly or unwittingly we act only to get rid of the monkey.

Unfortunately, if one monkey goes the other is just taking its place.

And you think, talk and act accordingly.

Some wise people, are they really wise, pass on the monkey to some other’s back tactfully, so the monkey is rid off, but still alive. This is what
exactly happens in a work environment.

Know your monkeys and their feeds.

Fail not to feed them in time, as monkeys should be fed or shot to death. Otherwise, they will starve to death, forcing you to conduct postmortem.

Keep monkeys' population below the maximum number you can probably feed.

Feed monkeys only by appointment, otherwise you will be feeding them at odd hours.

Feed monkeys personally, if left to others, they may feed wrong and/or in unacceptable doses.

Each monkey is unique, hence its feed and frequency of feed differs.

No monkey stays long. They know when to leave you as once the monkey is satisfied with your hospitality it jumps off your back.

The new monkey on your back is the task to know whether monkeys are there or not on your back.

poem by Bashyam Narayanan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!

My little playful monkeys

My little monkeys in the forest are all funny
As usual they jump from vine to vine
And fall and rise, and fall from river to river,
My little monkeys with little tails with little
Mouths and tiny baby-like hands, they wink
And play and chase and run and almost like bats
Flying from top to top of treetops from branch
To branch to twigs to twigs, all these cute
Little monkeys so playfully playful in the forest,
In my mind, I play with all of them throughout
The day, till noon, till afternoon, till nights even,

But no, when darkness comes, these cute little
Monkeys all return to bigger higher trees where
Their big monkey-mothers and big-monkey-fathers
Wait and care for them and all hide them in their arms.

And I am all left alone, like little Tarzan boy in an empty cave
feeling so deserted and betrayed.

poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!

The Drop In Game

Two curious monkeys sat up in a palm tree
watching two Russian men playing chess.
Everyday they watched the Russians play
until a winner was declared the best.

The next day a Russian sat alone at the table
with the chess pieces set out to play.
A monkey dropped in and sat opposite him
and a game of chess got under way.

For over a week they played each other
until the monkey won five games to three.
The next day a lone monkey sat at the table
until its friend dropped down from a tree.

For two weeks they played each other
with every game resulting in a draw.
The monkeys that sat around watching
applauded and wanted to see more.

Two more weeks passed without a winner,
but then the tropical rains began to pour.
A hurricane blew the chess set out to sea,
now chess is played on the ocean floor.

poem by Orlando Belo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!

Monkeys Must Know What's Good For Them

Monkeys do mind,
How a banana peels.
And how that's done,
To quicken the taste.

Why bananas do appeal,
And not coconuts?
I had not seen this spoken.
Or discussed in a fuss.

The monkeys must know what's good for them.
As they get their vitamins.
And swing from high vines.

The monkeys must know what's good for them.
And we...
Unfortunately,
Are not monkeys.

The monkeys must know what's good for them.
As they get their vitamins.
And swing from high vines.

The monkeys must know what's good for them.
And we...
Unfortunately,
Are not monkeys.

Monkeys do mind,
How a banana peels.
And how that's done,
To quicken the taste.

Why bananas do appeal,
And not coconuts?
I had not seen this spoken.
Or discussed in a fuss.
And we...
Unfortunately,
Are not monkeys.

The monkeys must know what's good for them.
As they get their vitamins.
And swing from high vines.
Stripping exotic trees,
Of fruit they leave.

The monkeys must know what's good for them.
And we,
Unfortunately...
Are not monkeys.

The monkeys must know what's good for them.
And,
We...
Unfortunately,
Are not monkeys.

The monkeys must know what's good for them.
And we,
Unfortunately...
Are not monkeys.

Monkeys must know what's good for them.
But we...
Unfortunately,
Are not monkeys.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!

Monkeys are superior to men in this: when a monkey looks into a mirror, he sees a monkey.

quote by Malcolm De Chazal
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!

Would You Believe?

Would you believe
we descended from apes?

We also share bipedalism with apes
we both walk on two legs like apes; not...
Bipedalism causes considerable problems
for the back, knees and organs,

putting pressure on joints and torso
causing breathing problems...
During millions of evolutionary years
of distinctly disadvantaged changes!

Evolutionarily unfavourable adaptation? ? ?

We also share a descended larynx for speech
just like apes; not (except descended larynx monkeys) ? ? ?

A hooded nose like apes a muscular
nostril aperture control
(plus the philtrum) preventing water
entering the nostrils like apes; not? ? ?

We also share a mammalian
diving reflex
which occurs when the head
is immersed

in cold water plus
voluntary breath control
which allows diving
swimming like apes; not? ? ?

We have a more streamlined
shape compared to other apes? ? ?

We have increased subcutaneous
fat for increased insulation
especially in human infants
born hairless with a waxy coating

plus requirement of human brain
for specific nutrients including iodine
some essential fatty acids most easily
found absorbed in seafood, an ape diet; not? ? ?

“Miracle Miracle Miracle Upon Miracle
of Darwinian theory unproven evolution!
Occurring over millions must have been years
to allow time for miracle change evolution!

But do not believe
man was made in God’s image!
Man was wonderfully made
because that would take a miracle! ....

Man your killing me
with all your scientific
multiple miracles
logic-less evidence! ”

Humans are relatively hairless
compared to great apes
similar to the hairlessness of
rhinoceros and elephants.

No I am not suggesting
humanity descended
from rhinoceros or elephants
because of similar hairlessness.

That would be stupid.

I like best the Chinese saying
'Caucasians look like the apes
from which they descended.'

poem by Terence George Craddock
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!

Would You Believe? The Evidence Continues!

Would you believe
we descended from apes?

We also share bipedalism with apes
we both walk on two legs like apes; not...
Bipedalism causes considerable problems
for the back, knees and organs,

putting pressure on joints and torso
causing breathing problems...
During millions of evolutionary years
of distinctly disadvantaged changes!

Evolutionarily unfavourable adaptation? ? ?

We also share a descended larynx for speech
just like apes; not (except descended larynx monkeys) ? ? ?

A hooded nose like apes a muscular
nostril aperture control
(plus the philtrum) preventing water
entering the nostrils like apes; not? ? ?

We also share a mammalian
diving reflex
which occurs when the head
is immersed

in cold water plus
voluntary breath control
which allows diving
swimming like apes; not? ? ?

We have a more streamlined
shape compared to other apes? ? ?

We have increased subcutaneous
fat for increased insulation
especially in human infants
born hairless with a waxy coating

plus requirement of human brain
for specific nutrients including iodine
some essential fatty acids most easily
found absorbed in seafood, an ape diet; not? ? ?

“Miracle Miracle Miracle Upon Miracle
of theory unproven evolution
occurring over millions of years
to allow time for miracle change evolution

but do not believe
man was made in God’s image
man was wonderfully made
because that would take a miracle.

Man your killing me
with all your scientific
multiple miracles
logic-less evidence.”

Humans are relatively hairless
compared to great apes
similar to the hairlessness of
rhinoceros and elephants.

No I am not suggesting
humanity descended
from rhinoceros or elephants
because of similar hairlessness.

That would be stupid.

I like best the Chinese saying
'Caucasians look like the apes
from which they descended.'

poem by Terence George Craddock
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!

Proudest Monkey

Swing in this tree
Oh I am bounce around so well
Branch to branch,
Limb to limb you see
All in a days dream
Im stuck
Like the other monkeys here
I am a humble monkey
Sitting up in here again
But then came the day
I climbed out of these safe limbs
Ventured away
Walking tall, head high up and singing
I went to the city
Car horns, corners and the gritty
Now I am the proudest monkey youve ever seen
Monkey see, monkey do
Then comes the day
Staring at myself I turn to question me
I wonder do I want the simple, simple life that I once lived in well
Oh things were quiet then
In a way they were the better days
But now I am the proudest monkey youve ever seen
Monkey see, monkey do
Monkey see, monkey do

song performed by by Dave Matthews Band
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!

The 3 Monkeys

Three little monkeys, they played about,

Doing all sorts of things, till their mother did shout;

If you don't stop this misbehaving, you'll go to bed,

All this playing up, is giving me a pain in my head.

Three little monkeys, would play hide and seek,

When they heard a secret, they'd be a sticky beak;

Sometimes they'd run away, till their mother called them back,
,
If you three keep playing up, you'll go to bed with a smack.

It reminds me of us children, when I was young growing up,

And mum told us to behave, we'd act like a naughty pup;

But! Most times I remember the great times we did play,

And when it was a holiday, we'd go somewhere to stay.

Yes! It wasn't all bad for those monkeys, those three,

And growing up, there were great times as well for me;

I thank my Mother, as I'm sure the monkeys do too,

Cause a mother can only take so much, oh yes! This is true.

poem by Margaret Haig
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!

Do chattering monkeys mimic men, Or we, turned apes, out-monkey them?

Latin proverbs
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!

Dangerous Ape

Gods have calibre, and the monkey is banished
Due to poor health and no showmanship.
Gods shall keep the poor apes, the poor monkeys
That spell for their names, hunting fruit like apes
That are friendly to the godly men and humans.

Each god shall praise the highest men
Who parade the bigger kind of human,
But apish behaviour is against the role to play,
Danger is the fantastic goal, one of great apes.
The great ape is not human or humane.

poem by Naveed Akram
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!

The Smartest Monkeys

Well man created the cardboard box to sleep in it
And man converted the newspaper to a blanket
Well you have to admit that hes come a long way
Since swinging about in the trees
Were the smartest monkeys
The smartest monkeys
The evidence is all around
Our brains are bigger
This weve found
The smartest monkeys
Well man discovered the park bench can make a transition
And the rubbish tip makes a valid form of nutrition
With discoveries like these
Civilisation agrees
To give itself a pat on the back
Were the smartest monkeys
The evolutions plain to see
Were the dominant of the species
The smartest monkeys
We brought the caveman from the stoneage
To the subways of the modern world
How they pack so many in
Quick call the guinness book of records
Well you have to admit...
Were the smartest monkeys...

song performed by by Xtc
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!

A Matter Of Degree

B. SMITH would most undoubtedly be very, very cross
If some rude person called him Jap, and yet, I'm at a loss
To see how he could argue otherwise in that respect:
A Jap is human - or a rumour's rife to that effect.
And he talks and argues much the same as B.
So, if SMITH is not a twin
To his cherished Yellow-skin,
Why it's only just a matter of degree,
Just a trifling little matter of degree.

Now, a Jap is not a monkey. though he's oft compared with such,
And he doesn't look unlike one, so it hardly matters much.
A monkey has a fearsome phiz, and hands that grab at things,
And he imitates his betters - all of which the matter brings
To a very clear conclusion, seems to me,
Which you cannot fairly funk:
If a Jap is not a monk
Ey, it's patently a matter of degree.
And we needn't mind a matter of degree.

Of native monkeys hereabout, of course, you haven't heard;
And a monkey's not a native bear, which, clearly, is absurd,
And yet, a bear clings to a tree with young bears on its back
(My word! we're getting on a rather interesting tack)
Yes, it clings there like the cheerful chimpanzee.
So, if monkeys are not bears
So, overlooking certain petty matters of degree,
We are forced to these conclusions with undoubted certaintee:
B. SMITH'S a Jap, a Jap's an ape (according unto SMITH),
An ape's a bear, a bear's a bunyip, and the last's a myth!
It's as clear as any argument can be
That if our dear friend SMITH
Is not a simple myth
It's an unimportant matter of degree,
Quite a microscopic matter of degree.

poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!

Look At All Those Monkeys!

Look at all those monkeys
Jumping in their cage.
Why don't they all go out to work
And earn a decent wage?

How can you say such silly things,
And you a son of mine?
Imagine monkeys travelling on
The Morden-Edgware line!

But what about the Pekinese!
They have an allocation.
'Don't travel during Peke hour',
It says on every station.

My Gosh, you're right, my clever boy,
I never thought of that!
And so they left the monkey house,
While an elephant raised his hat.

poem by Spike Milligan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!

Jacko Homo

they tell us that
we lost our tails
evolving up
from little snails
i say it's all
just wind in sails
are we not men?
we are DEVO!
we're pinheads now
we are not whole
we're pinheads all
jocko homo
are we not men?
D-E-V-O
monkey men all
in business suit
teachers and critics
all dance the poot
are we not men?
we are DEVO!
are we not men?
D-E-V-O
god made man
but he used the monkey to do it
apes in the plan
we're all here to prove it
i can walk like an ape
talk like an ape
i can do what a monkey can do
god made man
but a monkey supplied the glue
we must repeat
o.k. let's go

song performed by by Devo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!

Mind Monkey

Monkeys are
playing on trees...
jump with jump...
Side by side...
Monkeys...
Play...
Watch about mind...
Also play with
The monkeys....
Monkeys did not
watch about me...
o...
mind...!

poem by Otteri Selvakumar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!

Jocko Homo

They tell us that
We lost our tails
Evolving up
From little snails
I say its all
Just wind in sails
Are we not men?
We are devo!
Were pinheads now
We are not whole
Were pinheads all
Jocko homo
Are we not men?
D-e-v-o
Monkey men all
In business suit
Teachers and critics
All dance the poot
Are we not men?
We are devo!
Are we not men?
D-e-v-o
God made man
But he used the monkey to do it
Apes in the plan
Were all here to prove it
I can walk like an ape
Talk like an ape
I can do what a monkey can do
God made man
But a monkey supplied the glue
We must repeat
O.k. lets go!

song performed by by Devo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!

Monkey & The Engineer

Once upon a time there was an engineer.
Drove a locomotive both far and near.
Accompanied by a monkey that would sit on a stool
Watching everything the engineer would do
One day the engineer wanted a bite to eat,
He left the monkey sitting on the drivers seat,
The monkey pulled the throttle, the locomotive jumped the gun
And did 80 miles an hour down the mainline run.
Big locomotive right on time, big locomotive coming down the line.
Big locomotive no. 99, left the engineer with a worried mind.
The engineer called up the dispatcher on the phone,
To tell him all about his locomotive was gone.
Dispatcher got on the wire, switch operator to the right,
Cause the monkeys got the main line sewed up tight.
The switch operator got the message on time,
Said theres a northbound livin on the same main line,
Open up the switch Im gonna let him through the hole,
Cause the monkeys got the locomotive under control.
Big locomotive right on time, big locomotive coming down the line.
Big locomotive no. 99, left the engineer with a worried mind.

song performed by by Grateful Dead
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!

When You Pick the Ticks Off Monkeys

Your love for monkeys,
Leaves a lump right here...
In my throat!

And I get so emotional,
When you swing from branch to tree branch...
On a vine,
Swinging...
Like one who has swung on a rope!

And when you pick ticks...
From another monkey's fur?
I get teary eyed...
Just watching what occurs!

When you pick the ticks off monkeys,
You remove the itch.
When you pick the ticks off monkeys,
You remove the itch.
When you pick the ticks off monkeys,
You remove the itch.
You remove the itch.
You remove that itch.

Ooo ooo ooo ooo ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh,
You remove the itch.
Ooo ooo ooo ooo ahhh ahhh ahhh,
You remove the itch.
Ooo ooo ooo ooo ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh,
You remove the itch.
You remove the itch.
You remove that itch.