The Smartest Monkeys
Well man created the cardboard box to sleep in it
And man converted the newspaper to a blanket
Well you have to admit that hes come a long way
Since swinging about in the trees
Were the smartest monkeys
The smartest monkeys
The evidence is all around
Our brains are bigger
This weve found
The smartest monkeys
Well man discovered the park bench can make a transition
And the rubbish tip makes a valid form of nutrition
With discoveries like these
Civilisation agrees
To give itself a pat on the back
Were the smartest monkeys
The evolutions plain to see
Were the dominant of the species
The smartest monkeys
We brought the caveman from the stoneage
To the subways of the modern world
How they pack so many in
Quick call the guinness book of records
Well you have to admit...
Were the smartest monkeys...
song performed by by Xtc
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
More Fun Than A Barrel Of Monkeys
there are multiple questions pertaining to the concept,
'more fun than a barrel of monkeys.'
how big is the barrel?
how many monkeys are we talking about?
how big are the monkeys? Are we talking spider monkeys, chimps, baboons or what?
Are the monkeys old or young and where's the barrel, inside or outside?
If you leave the monkeys in the barrel, you got a problem:
they'll die in their own excrement,
if you lift the lid and let them out,
they might kill you.
a monkey can rip out your eyes, is that fun?
monkeys, leaping and running around the house, can do a lot of damage, is that fun?
monkeys are dirty, so... what exactly do you consider fun?
what's it going to be like trying to get the monkeys back in the barrel?
would that be fun?
what would the neighbors think of you, if you released the monkeys into their yards?
what happens if the police gets involved?
it could mean everything imaginable is more fun than a barrel of these animals.
maybe even more fun than a barrel of human beings.
poem by Richard Jarboe
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Monkeys Must Know What's Good For Them
Monkeys do mind,
How a banana peels.
And how that's done,
To quicken the taste.
Why bananas do appeal,
And not coconuts?
I had not seen this spoken.
Or discussed in a fuss.
The monkeys must know what's good for them.
As they get their vitamins.
And swing from high vines.
The monkeys must know what's good for them.
And we...
Unfortunately,
Are not monkeys.
The monkeys must know what's good for them.
As they get their vitamins.
And swing from high vines.
The monkeys must know what's good for them.
And we...
Unfortunately,
Are not monkeys.
Monkeys do mind,
How a banana peels.
And how that's done,
To quicken the taste.
Why bananas do appeal,
And not coconuts?
I had not seen this spoken.
Or discussed in a fuss.
And we...
Unfortunately,
Are not monkeys.
The monkeys must know what's good for them.
As they get their vitamins.
And swing from high vines.
Stripping exotic trees,
Of fruit they leave.
The monkeys must know what's good for them.
And we,
Unfortunately...
Are not monkeys.
The monkeys must know what's good for them.
And,
We...
Unfortunately,
Are not monkeys.
The monkeys must know what's good for them.
And we,
Unfortunately...
Are not monkeys.
Monkeys must know what's good for them.
But we...
Unfortunately,
Are not monkeys.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Mind Monkey
Monkeys are
playing on trees...
jump with jump...
Side by side...
Monkeys...
Play...
Watch about mind...
Also play with
The monkeys....
Monkeys did not
watch about me...
o...
mind...!
poem by Otteri Selvakumar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Monkeys and Talent
Some people say that man comes from monkeys but the Good Book tells it different and brother if you believe what some people say. I'd rather be that monkey then you any old days. Speaking of talents which I wasn't. Your talent is God's gift to you. What you do with it is your gift back to God.
Names I've been called stupid. I been called dumb. I've been called lots of things and then some, but I'm smart enough to know I'm just as good as you and so, I say to you who call me names. I hold no of rudge or place no blame. Being stupid is some times smart and playing dumb is just a part of life, and one of the smartest people I know is ME.
poem by Betty Mae Eaton
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To My Grown-up Daughter
I wish you hadn't grown up just yet.
Things were so much easier
when I could fight your dragons for you,
and you thought I was the smartest mom
in the whole wide world.
Back then, I could kiss away the hurt,
create the Tickle Monster to chase the blues,
and I understood your homework.
But you're a woman now,
grown up with a job of your own.
All I can do now is offer advice-
and hope you don't roll your eyes,
or give me that look.
You don't think I'm the smartest mom
in the whole wide world anymore.
Damn, I wish you hadn't grown up yet.
11-30-06
poem by Toni Atchison
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Monkey Gone To Heaven
There was a guy
An under water guy who controlled the sea
Got killed by ten million pounds of sludge
From new york and new jersey
This monkeys gone to heaven
The creature in the sky
Got sucked in ahole
Now theres a hole in the sky
And the grounds not cold
And if the grounds not cold
Everything is gonna burn
Well all take turns
Ill get mine, too
This monkeys gone to haven
Rock me joe!
If man is 5 [3x]
Then the devil is 6 [5x]
Then God is 7 [3x]
This monkeys gone to heaven
song performed by by Pixies
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Know that a monkey is on your back
There is a monkey on your back
At any point of time each one of us is carrying a monkey on the back.
Whether you like it or not your thoughts, words and deeds are determined by this very powerful monkey.
This monkey is nothing but a personification of the tasks either
assigned to you or taken up on your own.
The life line of the monkey is the strong desire that you nurse to
accomplish these tasks.
You may not know that you only feed this monkey and make it naughty.
They quality of your feed and its extent depend on your knowledge, attitude and earlier practices.
Often, wittingly or unwittingly we act only to get rid of the monkey.
Unfortunately, if one monkey goes the other is just taking its place.
And you think, talk and act accordingly.
Some wise people, are they really wise, pass on the monkey to some other’s back tactfully, so the monkey is rid off, but still alive. This is what
exactly happens in a work environment.
Know your monkeys and their feeds.
Fail not to feed them in time, as monkeys should be fed or shot to death. Otherwise, they will starve to death, forcing you to conduct postmortem.
Keep monkeys' population below the maximum number you can probably feed.
Feed monkeys only by appointment, otherwise you will be feeding them at odd hours.
Feed monkeys personally, if left to others, they may feed wrong and/or in unacceptable doses.
Each monkey is unique, hence its feed and frequency of feed differs.
No monkey stays long. They know when to leave you as once the monkey is satisfied with your hospitality it jumps off your back.
The new monkey on your back is the task to know whether monkeys are there or not on your back.
poem by Bashyam Narayanan
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Some say that AIDS came from the monkeys, and I doubt that because we have been living with monkeys from time immemorial, others say it was a curse from God, but I say it cannot be that.
quote by Wangari Maathai
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The 3 Monkeys
Three little monkeys, they played about,
Doing all sorts of things, till their mother did shout;
If you don't stop this misbehaving, you'll go to bed,
All this playing up, is giving me a pain in my head.
Three little monkeys, would play hide and seek,
When they heard a secret, they'd be a sticky beak;
Sometimes they'd run away, till their mother called them back,
,
If you three keep playing up, you'll go to bed with a smack.
It reminds me of us children, when I was young growing up,
And mum told us to behave, we'd act like a naughty pup;
But! Most times I remember the great times we did play,
And when it was a holiday, we'd go somewhere to stay.
Yes! It wasn't all bad for those monkeys, those three,
And growing up, there were great times as well for me;
I thank my Mother, as I'm sure the monkeys do too,
Cause a mother can only take so much, oh yes! This is true.
poem by Margaret Haig
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My little playful monkeys
My little monkeys in the forest are all funny
As usual they jump from vine to vine
And fall and rise, and fall from river to river,
My little monkeys with little tails with little
Mouths and tiny baby-like hands, they wink
And play and chase and run and almost like bats
Flying from top to top of treetops from branch
To branch to twigs to twigs, all these cute
Little monkeys so playfully playful in the forest,
In my mind, I play with all of them throughout
The day, till noon, till afternoon, till nights even,
But no, when darkness comes, these cute little
Monkeys all return to bigger higher trees where
Their big monkey-mothers and big-monkey-fathers
Wait and care for them and all hide them in their arms.
And I am all left alone, like little Tarzan boy in an empty cave
feeling so deserted and betrayed.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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The Monkeys
and after he cut the grasses
plowed the farm and planted
it all with corn
the monkeys simply watch
and keep on playing
on the branches of the trees,
and when
the corn grew and showed
their big ears and
golden hair,
there and then the monkeys
came and made their claim.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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When You Pick the Ticks Off Monkeys
Your love for monkeys,
Leaves a lump right here...
In my throat!
And I get so emotional,
When you swing from branch to tree branch...
On a vine,
Swinging...
Like one who has swung on a rope!
And when you pick ticks...
From another monkey's fur?
I get teary eyed...
Just watching what occurs!
When you pick the ticks off monkeys,
You remove the itch.
When you pick the ticks off monkeys,
You remove the itch.
When you pick the ticks off monkeys,
You remove the itch.
You remove the itch.
You remove that itch.
Ooo ooo ooo ooo ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh,
You remove the itch.
Ooo ooo ooo ooo ahhh ahhh ahhh,
You remove the itch.
Ooo ooo ooo ooo ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh,
You remove the itch.
You remove the itch.
You remove that itch.
When you pick the ticks off monkeys,
You remove the itch.
When you pick the ticks off monkeys,
You remove the itch.
When you pick the ticks off monkeys,
You remove the itch.
You remove the itch.
You remove that itch.
Your love for monkeys,
Leaves a lump right here...
In my throat!
And I get so emotional,
When you swing from branch to tree branch...
On a vine,
Swinging...
Like one who has swung on a rope!
And when you pick ticks...
From another monkey's fur?
I get teary eyed...
Just watching what occurs!
Ooo ooo ooo ooo ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh,
You remove the itch.
Ooo ooo ooo ooo ahhh ahhh ahhh,
You remove the itch.
Ooo ooo ooo ooo ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh,
You remove the itch.
You remove the itch.
You remove thst itch.
When you pick the ticks off monkeys,
You remove the itch.
When you pick the ticks off monkeys,
You remove the itch.
When you pick the ticks off monkeys,
You remove the itch.
You remove the itch.
You remove that itch.
Can you do this even faster?
And remove that itch!
Can you do this even faster?
And remove that itch!
Can you do this even faster?
And remove that itch!
And remove that itch!
And remove that itch,
Every bit!
Ooo ooo ooo ooo ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh,
You removed the itch.
Ooo ooo ooo ooo ahhh ahhh ahhh,
You removed the itch.
Ooo ooo ooo ooo ahhh ahhh ahhh ahhh,
You removed the itch.
You removed the itch.
You removed that itch...
From the tick inflicted monkeys!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Magnetic Pulls
Women are beehives hanging from tree top.
Men are lame monkeys, expecting dripping.
Beehives not yielding, monkeys not climbing,
A width is maintained for magnetic pull.
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
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I'm not an Ape Man
'Mankind has descended from monkeys'
I heard on the telly last week;
The scientists say that it's certain,
I say that I think they've a cheek.
Just because our design is so similar
To monkeys and apes and baboons;
I don't reckon those chimps in the advert'
Have a clue what to do with those spoons.
I'm not fooled by their lovable antics,
And the 'smiles' that play on their lips;
It's an insult to dress them like humans,
And force them to drink P.G. tips.
We sit them in front of a mirror
Like a schoolmaster would do a dunce,
Then say: 'yes they've got self awareness'
If they do not attack it at once.
If it's true we're descended from monkeys
Why is it there's some of them left,
Why is it there's still some evolving
And the world isn't monkey bereft?
No, my mind is made up on the matter,
And it wasn't made up in a tree;
Let the scientist say what he wants to,
But he won't make a monkey of me!
Written Jan 1996
poem by John Carter Brown
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The Big Big Whoredom
Come on baby turn that frown upside down
Tell me why you aint been around
What is it brings you down?
We work the hardest to be the smartest (we work)
We work the hardest to be the smartest (we work)
We work the hardest to be the smartest (we work)
We work the hardest to be the smartest (we work)
And the big big whoredom scared me
No, no, baby I aint convinced it aint so bad as you paint it
Theres plenty more heads of hair for us out there
Well strike it rich, a monster switch (monster)
Well strike it rich, a monster switch (monster)
Well strike it rich, a monster switch (monster)
Well strike it rich, a monster switch (monster)
But the big big whoredom scares me (no no it doesnt do that)
The big big whoredom scares me (no no dont be sad)
The big big whoredom scares me (please please stop it)
The big big whoredom scares me (dont dont)
The big big whoredom scares me (please)
The big big whoredom scares me (no)
The big big whoredom scares me
The big big whoredom scares me
The big big whoredom scares me
song performed by by They Might Be Giants
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Cats and monkeys; monkeys and cats; all human life is there.
quote by Henry James
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Surrendering
Surrendering like an ape
The subjugated man is akin to monkeys.
Following in the steps of a god
The men are like cowards
For their grins are the same
And they wear falsehood with their brow.
These mammals surrender, and fight
For their survival, forming work
To accomplish and be proud about.
These apes and monkeys are solemn
Sometimes, innocent and happy,
And yet not one of them relieves another.
poem by Naveed Akram
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Three Point One Four
My last girlfriend didn't like me thought she might be
Most likely a dyke she just didn't excite me
Lefty? Yeah but that was alright
She was hotter than the sun but she just wasn't that bright
My mistake she was more flaky than a leper colony
I think a wooden clothespin would have been much better company
Ass like a donkey acting funky gave her "L" now she's a flunky
So my love for her died quicker than a batch of Sea Monkeys
Early bird gets the worm spread your legs or spread the word
So what if I'm not the smartest peanut in the turd
I'm white which goes with everything but I can come in any color
And I'm looking for the kind of girl that reminds me of my mother
But it's hard to find a girl with a viper tattooed on her tushy
And how many girls do you know that can play the harmonica with their pussies?
Like em' easy and hot and sweet like a Rice Krispie Treat
song performed by by Bloodhound Gang from Hooray For Boobies
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Day In Summer
perhaps only some of you
knew what really happened
things that we did
at the prime of our youth
the one at the river was not true
neither was the one at the cogon grasses
the rumors were too advanced
and bent like a misshapen twig
perhaps this time you must have known
what joys we shared
picking ripe mangoes on that huge tree
at the foot of the hill
we drove no monkeys away
and no monkeys did give us any bother
the mangoes were too juicy
too ripe for our hands
too fragile for our wantonness
we never brought you any.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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And in knowing that you know nothing, that makes you the smartest of all.