Idiotic Idiom
The Anglo-Saxon idiom
Is a tax upon the brain
I mean, just what have cats and dogs
To do with heavy rain?
And if I'd like a cup of tea
(As often is my wish)
No problem, 'cause our kettle's
Never yet been full of fish.
Are people really 'all at sea'
When troubles they are braving?
And should men be commited
Just for laying crazy-paving?
You may have a funny feeling
Which can't be laughed about,
And how come something without legs,
Like money, can run out?
Yes English, to a foreign ear
Must seem a puzzling lingo,
And by the way, what kind of house
Do people win at bingo?
And don't go ringing 9 9 9
You'll only seem a liar
If adversaries now get on
Just like a house on fire.
I could go 'harping on'
At least until my pen 'ran out'
But you would get 'dog tired'
I haven't got the slightest doubt;
Suffice to say
This idiotic idiom on show
Is peculiarly English,
Well wouldn't you just know.
Written March 1996
poem by John Carter Brown
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Related quotes
Funny Conversations
Sitting in Barnes and Noble I overhear,
“That’s nothing my dear,
My mother, father and sister died in the same year.
and I never really tell anyone this,
so don’t look like such a mess.”
Now, this sounds like a tragedy,
I laughed to myself is more like a comedy.
It was like an over exaggeration,
why would a lady say it so loud,
for this kind of situation.
Sitting in McDonalds I over hear an idiom,
“He doesn’t have a pot to piss in,
or a window to throw it out of”
I laughed to myself for I never heard the last phrase,
It was so funny it made my day.
Now you can hear funny conversations everywhere,
if you care to listen and be aware…
of the funny things that people do say,
their conversations might brighten your day.
Written by Suzae Chevalier on September 21,2011
www.purplepoems.com www.puppetpoems.com
poem by Christina Sunrise
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for Mr. Ron Mengzi
there is no one in his house
in the tropics who really know how to speak English
so he tries making monologues for himself
talking about his latest affairs
but it gets boring you know
and those in the neighborhood who hear
that he is talking to himself
think that he must have gone crazy
i want to talk to him but i am busy
always busy he complains
for i am the only who knows how to talk in English
but i am busy and so one day
Mr. Ron Mengzi walks towards the pond
and talks to the fish that he brought
from California
and there he had a nice English conversation
with the fish
all in figurative and
codified bubbles.
Some people who read this
do not think about Mr. Ron Mengzi at ll
They now talk about me
asking about my own sanity.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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The House
They are building a house
half a block down
and I sit up here
with the shades down
listening to the sounds,
the hammers pounding in nails,
thack thack thack thack,
and then I hear birds,
and thack thack thack,
and I go to bed,
I pull the covers to my throat;
they have been building this house
for a month, and soon it will have
its people...sleeping, eating,
loving, moving around,
but somehow
now
it is not right,
there seems a madness,
men walk on top with nails
in their mouths
and I read about Castro and Cuba,
and at night I walk by
and the ribs of the house show
and inside I can see cats walking
the way cats walk,
and then a boy rides by on a bicycle
and still the house is not done
and in the morning the men
will be back
walking around on the house
with their hammers,
and it seems people should not build houses
anymore,
it seems people should not get married
anymore,
it seems people should stop working
and sit in small rooms
on 2nd floors
under electric lights without shades;
it seems there is a lot to forget
and a lot not to do,
and in drugstores, markets, bars,
the people are tired, they do not want
to move, and I stand there at night
and look through this house and the
house does not want to be built;
through its sides I can see the purple hills
and the first lights of evening,
and it is cold
and I button my coat
and I stand there looking through the house
and the cats stop and look at me
until I am embarrased
and move North up the sidewalk
where I will buy
cigarettes and beer
and return to my room.
poem by Charles Bukowski
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The Terrible People
People who have what they want are very fond of telling people who haven't what they want that they really don't want it,
And I wish I could afford to gather all such people into a gloomy castle on the Danube and hire half a dozen capable Draculas to haunt it.
I dont' mind their having a lot of money, and I don't care how they employ it,
But I do think that they damn well ought to admit they enjoy it.
But no, they insist on being stealthy
About the pleasures of being wealthy,
And the possession of a handsome annuity
Makes them think that to say how hard it is to make both ends meet is their bounden duity.
You cannot conceive of an occasion
Which will find them without some suitable evasion.
Yes indeed, with argumetsn they are very fecund;
Their first point is that money isn't everything, and that they have no money anyhow is their second.
Some people's money is merited,
And other people's is inherited,
But wherever it comes from,
They talk about it as if it were something you got pink gums from.
Perhaps indeed the possession of wealth is constantly distressing,
But I should be quite willing to assume every curse of wealth if I could at the same time assume every blessing.
The only incurable troubles of the rich are the troubles that money can't cure,
Which is a kind of trouble that is even more troublesome if you are poor.
Certainly there are lots of things in life that money won't buy, but it's very funny -
Have you ever tried to buy them without money?
poem by Ogden Nash
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English Roundabout
(colin moulding)
People rushing round with no time to spare.
Im so dizzy,
Im neither here nor there.
In this traffic jam,
I just want to shout,
Let me off o this english roundabout
English roundabout
And all the the horns go beep! beep!
All the people follow like sheep,
Im full of light and sound,
Making my head go round, round.
Everyone is cursing under their breath,
Im a passenger,
I feel close to death,
Hopeless situation,
I have no doubt.
Stop the madness, english roundabout
English roundabout
And all the cars go brum! brum!
And in my ears I feel a hum,
The neons blind my eyes,
All those tempers rise, rise.
Cars and buses go,
Puffing out their smoke,
Roll my window down,
I begin to choke.
I have had enough,
I just want to get out.
Let me off o this english roundabout.
English roundabout.
song performed by by Xtc
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Pronunciation Problem
Easily written poems mixing
languages Indonesian plus English.
Alas fatal flaw is found in
communication pronunciation problem.
Rhyming Indonesian words are
incorrectly pronounced by English speakers.
Compounding this problem English
is spoken by very few Indonesians.
poem by Terence George Craddock
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Unfamiliar Idiom
Unfamiliar idiom make man monkey
Unfamiliar idiom make guddy doggy.
What you say has got no sound
Where you jump has no ground.
How you become happy
How you make advance society.
poem by Gajanan Mishra
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The House Is Rockin' (With Domestic Problems)
Words and music by tom petersson and rick nielsen
I know, you know something's wrong,
Still, i gotta go home.
He knows, she knows,
Shut all the doors and lock all the windows.
Heavy, heavy, heavy troubles,
The house is rockin', still, i gotta go in.
Can't find the words 'cause they're so damned tough, actin' like fools that can't get enough.
Troubles yeah, i can't explain what i can't see.
Oh boy, oh boy, the house is rockin', the house is rockin'.
Oh, boy, oh boy, non-stop, day and night, ev'ry day, ev'ry night.
Oh boy, oh boy, the house is rockin', the house is rockin'.
Oh boy, can't stop the fightin', no.
He said, she said something's wrong,
Still, they're livin' at home.
We heard, we heard, sounded like the end of the world.
Heavy, heavy, heavy troubles, the house is rockin',
Still, i gotta go in.
Can't find the words 'cause they're so damned tough, actin' like fools that can't get enough.
Troubles yeah, i can't explain what i can't see.
Oh boy, oh boy, the house is rockin', the house is rockin'.
Oh, boy, oh boy, non-stop, day and night, ev'ry day, ev'ry night.
Oh boy, oh boy, the house is rockin', the house is rockin'.
Oh boy, oh boy can't stop the fightin', no.
I know, you know my world is in a spin,
You wanna come on in?
He said, she said it's bad for the children,
He went and bought a gun.
Heavy, heavy, heavy, problems, yeah.
The house is rockin', still, i gotta go in.
Oh boy, oh boy, the house is rockin', the house is rockin'.
Oh, boy, oh boy, non-stop, day and night, ev'ry day, ev'ry night.
Oh boy, oh boy, the house is rockin', the house is rockin'.
Oh boy, oh boy can't stop the fightin', no.
Oh boy, oh boy.
Oh boy, oh boy.
song performed by by Cheap Trick
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The House Is Rockin'
Words and music by tom petersson and rick nielsen
I know, you know something's wrong,
Still, i gotta go home.
He knows, she knows,
Shut all the doors and lock all the windows.
Heavy, heavy, heavy troubles,
The house is rockin', still, i gotta go in.
Can't find the words 'cause they're so damned tough, actin' like fools that can't get enough.
Troubles yeah, i can't explain what i can't see.
Oh boy, oh boy, the house is rockin', the house is rockin'.
Oh, boy, oh boy, non-stop, day and night, ev'ry day, ev'ry night.
Oh boy, oh boy, the house is rockin', the house is rockin'.
Oh boy, can't stop the fightin', no.
He said, she said something's wrong,
Still, they're livin' at home.
We heard, we heard, sounded like the end of the world.
Heavy, heavy, heavy troubles, the house is rockin',
Still, i gotta go in.
Can't find the words 'cause they're so damned tough, actin' like fools that can't get enough.
Troubles yeah, i can't explain what i can't see.
Oh boy, oh boy, the house is rockin', the house is rockin'.
Oh, boy, oh boy, non-stop, day and night, ev'ry day, ev'ry night.
Oh boy, oh boy, the house is rockin', the house is rockin'.
Oh boy, oh boy can't stop the fightin', no.
I know, you know my world is in a spin,
You wanna come on in?
He said, she said it's bad for the children,
He went and bought a gun.
Heavy, heavy, heavy, problems, yeah.
The house is rockin', still, i gotta go in.
Oh boy, oh boy, the house is rockin', the house is rockin'.
Oh, boy, oh boy, non-stop, day and night, ev'ry day, ev'ry night.
Oh boy, oh boy, the house is rockin', the house is rockin'.
Oh boy, oh boy can't stop the fightin', no.
Oh boy, oh boy.
Oh boy, oh boy.
song performed by by Cheap Trick
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I'm Tired
I'm tired of people messing with me
I'm tired of people treating me wrong
I'm tired of people saying I stank
I'm tired of people remembering the past
I'm tired of black people
I'm tired of stupid people
I'm tired of selfish people
I'm tired of being the target all the time
I'm tired of feeling sad
I'm tired of people thinking there better than everybody else
I'm tired of people not appreciating me
I'm tired of being tired
I'm tired of being tired
I'm just tired
poem by Shawanda Polk
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Crazy But Happy.....
how come that we save money
like it is a morsel that we even refuse
to feed the dogs and the cats?
how come that we spend the same
in a night like it were raining dogs and cats?
crazy? yes, crazy, but
happy.
period.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Animal House
In Animal House (by which title I call
A dwelling whose true name is not that at all)
There are dogs on the sofas and cats on the chairs;
Wherever you sit you get covered with hairs;
While your progress is marked by the yelps and miaous*
Of beasts you have walked on in Animal House.
There’s an Old English bantam that welcomes the dawn,
There’s a cat that sings love-songs all night on the lawn,
There’s a bachelor turtle-dove making sweet moan
And a puppy lamenting because it’s alone;
The rowdiest tavern where topers carouse
Is a meeting of Quakers to Animal House.
There’s a tortoise asleep in the strawberry bed
(They say it’s asleep but it smells a bit dead);
There are rabbits — they tell me they pluck them alive —
And ferrets in hutches and bees in a hive,
And goats, male and female, that merrily browse
On the stockings they hang out at Animal House.
There’s a little green parrot like old Uncle Ned
Without any feathers on the top of its head,
He’s eighty years old and he’s just laid an egg;
There’s a toad and a newt and a thrush with one leg,
A hedgehog, an owl and a Japanese mouse,
But . . . people are nowhere at Animal House.
poem by Cicely Fox Smith
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At Home With Our Dogs
four dogs since the latest one
died hit by a truck when it tries to cross the street
without us watching,
four playful dogs in the house
the only animals who miss us when we are away
the same ones who welcome us
when we are back at home
they say that it is expensive to raise and feed
and give shelter to four dogs in the house
no, no, not at all
they do not go to school
neither do we pay them their salaries for pleasing us
they do not harm at all
and demand holiday pay and other allowances
nothing about retirement schemes
and SSS premiums
there is no problem about betrayal either
these four dogs in the house
if you must know, are our children
since we have none
at all.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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It's Kind of Funny
It's kind of funny how those who want life get it taken away,
while those who loathe it wander around.
Almost as if a waste.
It's kind of funny how those who try to do right get it spit back in their face.
The bad walk among us as if to be common people.
They, they get your respect.
It's kind of funny the people you love, they're usually the fall of you.
They say they're there for you but always somehow make you feel worthless.
It's kind of funny how everything can end so fast.
Everything can just disappear.
It's kind of funny how I wish I never met you.
I wish I could tell you.
I wish we could be.
And I wish that everything wasn't so funny and that everything could be what it is.
It's kind of funny how me and you,
we don't matter.
What I say and do will always be funny to you.
It's no longer funny.
poem by Elina Fields
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We meet people all the time....
We meet people all the time
Rich people with nothing
Poor people with the world
Kind people
Not so kind people
Funny people
People who think they are funny
People who laugh at other peoples pain
People who change the course of our lives
People whom we change their direction
Inspirational people
Caring people
Intelligent people
History tells us of people who create World misery
And the ones who end it
People who charm the socks off us (while we are wearing our shoes!)
People who steal our affections
People who give us undeserved affections
All the time we meet people
Wouldn’t it be nice if this poem didn’t label them though?
poem by Wanelisa Albert
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Snake In The Grass
Mr. Rao was sitting in his front lawn
He looked dull and worried
'I haven't mowed for a month'
He said looking at the wild growth
The lawn with its grass blades
Some tall, some short looked to me
Beautiful in its randomness
'There is some odd grace
Even in indiscipline' I remarked
'There is a method in their madness'
I laughed and winked at him
He stared one long minute
At his beloved lawn and said
'Ever heard the idiom'
'….Snake in the grass! It was said
About the lurking dangers inside
Such unruly growth! Thanks
To the indolent masters'
He further cautioned, 'Walk over that ridge
Alongside the compound wall
And reach the verandah. God Knows!
Some serpent might have got alert
With our idiomatic talk,
I mean idiotic talk'
This time he laughed loudly
Starting towards him, I stopped suddenly
And turned back stating, 'I just remembered
I have to go to my office, I left a lot
To be mowed there. For too long
Indolent I have been'
poem by Sathya Narayana
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No Spill Blood
(what is the law? )
(what is the law? )
Animals came from miles around
So tired of walking so close toe the ground
They needed a chance, thats what they said
Life is better walking on two legs
But they were in for a big surprise
cause they didnt know the law!
Chorus
(what is the law)
No spill blood
What is the law
(no spill blood)
(who makes the rules)
Someone else
Who makes the rules
(someone else)
The rules are written in the stone
Break the rules and you get no bones
All you get is ridicule, laughter
And a trip to the house of pain!
Chorus (in reverse order)
We walk on two legs not on four
To walk on four legs breaks the law
What happens when we break the law?
What happens when the rules arent fair?
We all know here we go from there
To the house of pain!
To the house of pain!
(what is the law)
What is the law
(who makes the rules)
Who makes the rules
We walk on two legs not on four
To the house of pain
To the house of pain
To the house of pain
To the house of pain
To the house of pain
(no spill blood)
song performed by by Oingo Boingo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Money is a strange business. People who haven't got it aim it strongly. People who have are full of troubles.
quote by Ayrton Senna
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If You Dont Come Back
(words & music by mark james)
(woke up early in the morning)
(what did the poor boy find)
Well the car was gone and you were gone
And I almost lost my mind.
If you dont come back (if you dont come back)
Yeah! if you dont come back today (if you dont come back today)
You can call up the people at the crazy house
And take this crazy man away
(he threw himself off a gas stone wall)
(he tore his clothes out the door)
I ran out on the street in my stockinged feet
Tell the police Ive been robbed
If you dont come back (if you dont come back)
Mmm if you dont come back today (if you dont come back today)
Well you can call up the people at the crazy house
And take this crazy man away
Mrs. browns been talking about me
To the people across the street
She said (said (I cooked that boy a pot full of stew,
But the poor thing just wont eat).)
If you dont come back (if you dont come back)
Yeah! if you dont come back today (if you dont come back today)
You can call up the people at the crazy house
And take this crazy man away
song performed by by Elvis Presley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Astonishing Forest
Where the house filled with living
The house continuously giving
Where the house filled with nature
The house filled with adventure
Anything can survive
With the nature it provides
Where the house filled with grass
The house filled with hedges, bushes and plants
Canopy trees be it rain or shine
Will be there for you at any time
Where the green house filled with fresh air
Will shelter you in the heavy rain
O the house of beauty
O the house of sound
So much variety is yet to be found
poem by Sehar Zaman
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