Related quotes: There was an Old Man...

There was an Old Man of Kildare,
Who climbed into a very old chair;
When he said,-- 'Here I stays,--
till the end of my days,'
That immovable Man of Kildare.

quote by by Edward Lear
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Related quotes

There's a town in Kildare called Athy.
Joyce used it to rhyme with a thigh.
He could have used Naas.
That rhymes with an arse.
But I think that his mind was too high.

quote by by Douglas Scotney
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There was a strange man from Kildare
Who, annoyed because people would stare,
Walked up the town
With his hat upside down
And pretended that he didn't care.

(Written Sept 2012)

quote by by John Carter Brown
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Early Works - TV Madness

You sit with eyes glued to the screen
watching a little beam
in a box
that talks.
Your eyes go perpendicular
and a haze comes over you
the TV madness has got through.

The haze then forms into shapes
of Coronation Street and Ben Casey
as an operation begins on Ena by Kildare
while the Invisible Man sits unnoticed in a chair.
When the TV goes funny,
you hit it like hell
afraid of missing Alf Garnet’s famous yell.

Then comes The Man In The Suitcase
who has such a squeeze
and is nearly blown away
by a Laurel and Hardy sneeze.
The posh blundering Avengers are back once more,
but need help from The Man From Uncle to open the door.

After this tumbling torso, you see,
you turn into a schizophrenic like me,
with perpendicular eyeballs
pink and blue stripes on your chest.
Don’t go to the Doctors,
as there is no cure for TV madness.

Date Written Unknown

poem by David Harris
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Till winter

The light stays till the sun sets.
The night stays till the moon sets.
The drive stays till the ennui sets in
The pride stays till the loneliness sets in.
03.02.2008

poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
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Good Old Days

Oh some times I think back to when I was younger
Life was so much simpler then
Dad would be up at dawn
Hed be watering the lawn
Or maybe going fishing again
Oh and mom would be fixing up something in the kitchen
Fresh biscuits or hot apple pie
And Id spend all day long in the basement
Torturing rats with a hack-saw
And pulling the wings off of flies
Those were the good old days
Those were the good old days
The years go by but the memory stays
And those were the good old days
I can still remember good old mr. fender
Who ran the corner grocery store
Oh, hed strolled down the aisle with a big friendly smile
And hed say howdy when you walked in the door
Always treated me nice, gave me kindly advice
I dont know why I set fire to his place
Oh Ill never forget the day I bashed in his head
Well you shouldve seen the look on his face
Let me tell ya now
Those were the good old days
Those were the good old days
The years go by but the memory stays
And those were the good old days
Do you remember sweet michelle
She was my high school romance
She was fun to talk to and nice to smell
So I took her to the homecoming dance
Then I tied her to a chair and I shaved off all her hair
And I left her in the desert all alone
Well sometimes in my dreams
I can still hear the screams
Oh I wonder if she ever made it home
I tell ya
Those were the good old days
Those were the good old days
The years go by but the memory stays
And those were the good old days
Let me tell ya buddy
Those were the good old days
Those were the good old days
The years go by but the memory stays
And those were the good old days

song performed by by Weird Al Yankovic
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Pre-Ulyssean Dilemma

Why did Joyce call the guy Athy
When he could have called him Naas?

On a map of Kildare
Two towns, at a glance,
Rhyme with what's found
In a character's pants.

Young Dedalus shared a sickroom
With a guy nicknamed 'a thigh'.
'An arse' it could have equally been.
Why not? I'll give it a try.

First thoughts were Joyce were a shy man;
Then I guessed his mind too high class.
The truth of it is, he was tickled
By the towns of Athy and of Naas.
Just to mention Athy to an Ireman
Brings on a joke of an arse.

poem by Douglas Scotney
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Theory of Naas

In times of yore in Ireland
The jokes came thick and fast
About the town of Naas.
They changed the way they said it.
Instead of rhyming Naas with arse
They rhymed it with a face-
Sounds like the queen says 'nice'.

Irish jokers agreed to wipe
Anal-rhyming with old Naas.
Till Joyce-he couldn't stop himself,
Insinuating smarty-arse.

Why did Joyce call the guy Athy
When he could have called him Naas?

On a map of Kildare
Two towns at a glance
Rhyme with what's found
In a character's pants.

Young Dedalus shared a sickroom
With a guy nicknamed 'a thigh'.
'an arse' it could have equally been.
Why not? I'll give it a try:
First thoughts were Joyce were a shy man
Then I guessed his mind too high class.
The truth of it is he was tickled
By the sounds of Athy and of Naas:
Just to mention Athy to an Ireman
Brings on a thought of an arse.

poem by Douglas Scotney
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Lady Luck

I got some bills this morning,
They tumbled through the door
I counted every penny but
The bills still came to more
And printed in the paper
For Pisces it did say,
"If you would just be bolder,
Then this might be your day"
It said, "Lady Luck apologises
For the way she's been behavin'
And she promises she'll change.
If you don't want to know her, she'll understand,
But if you'd like to take her hand,
She could be back at your command."
So I ran round the corner,
The bookies there I entered
Put ten quid on a mare
From a stud in Kildare
But though the jockey beat her,
In Belgium they will eat her.
The tannoy began to rip as I tore up the slip
It said: "Lady Luck"
I met a girl this evening
And I began to think
That I might get her drunk
But she matched me drink for drink.
So when she drew the curtains,
I felt success was certain
But as she kicked me out,
She spoke in the third person
She said: "Lady Luck

song performed by by Proclaimers
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Erin, Oh Erin

Like the bright lamp, that shone in Kildare's holy fane,
And burn'd through long ages of darkness and storm,
Is the heart that sorrows have frown'd on in vain,
Whose spirit outlives them, unfading and warm.
Erin, oh Erin, thus bright through the tears
Of a long night of bondage, thy spirit appears.

The nations have fallen, and thou still art young,
Thy sun is but rising, when others are set;
And though slavery's cloud o'er thy morning hath hung,
The full noon of freedom shall beam round thee yet.
Erin, oh Erin, though long in the shade,
Thy star will shine out when the proudest shall fade.

Unchill'd by the rain, and unwaked by the wind,
The lily lies sleeping through winter's cold hour,
Till Spring's light touch her fetters unbind,
And daylight and liberty bless the young flower.
Thus Erin, oh Erin, thy winter is past,
And the hope that lived through it shall blossom at last.

poem by Thomas Moore
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How M'Ginnis went missing

Let us cease our idle chatter,
Let the tears bedew our cheek,
For a man from Tallangatta
Has been missing for a week.
Where the roaring flooded Murray
Covered all the lower land,
There he started in a hurry,
With a bottle in his hand.

And his fate is hid for ever,
But the public seem to think
That he slumbered by the river,
'Neath the influence of drink.

And they scarcely seem to wonder
That the river, wide and deep,
Never woke him with its thunder,
Never stirred him in his sleep.
As the crashing logs came sweeping,
And their tumult filled the air,
Then M'Ginnis murmured, sleeping,
`'Tis a wake in ould Kildare.'
So the river rose and found him
Sleeping softly by the stream,
And the cruel waters drowned him
Ere he wakened from his dream.

And the blossom-tufted wattle,
Blooming brightly on the lea,
Saw M'Ginnis and the bottle
Going drifting out to sea.

poem by Andrew Barton Paterson
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Coming Around Again - Itsy Bitsy Spider

Baby sneezes
Mummy pleases
Daddy breezes in
So good on paper
So romantic
But so bewildering
(chorus)
I know nothing stays the same
But if you're willing to play the game
It's coming around again
So don't mind if I fall apart
there's more room in a broken heart
You pay the grocer
Fix the toasted
Kiss the host Good-bye
Then you break a window
burn the Souffl
Scream the lullaby
I know nothing stays the same
But if you're willing to play the game
It's coming around again
So don't mind if I fall apart
there's more room in a broken heart
And I believe in love
But what else can I do
I'm so in love with you
I know nothing stays the same
But if you're willing to play the game
It's coming around again
The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout
Down came the rain and washed the spider out
Out came the sun and dried up all the rain
And the itsy bitsy spider climbed up the spout again
I believe in love
And who knows where or when
Bit its comin around again
I know nothin stays the same
But if youre willing to play the game
Its comin around again

song performed by by Carly Simon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If You Feed It Good

If you feed it good...
It stays fresh.
It stays the best,
One can get!
Yes.
And,
If you feed it good...
It stays fresh.
It stays the best,
One can get!
Yes,
Feed it good...
And it stays fresh.
It stays the best,
One can get!

I'm not gonna mock you anymore,
'Cause you're good to me.
You don't have to knock,
On that unlocked door.
No more...
I'll rock your needs

When we get it heated! .

Now,
If you feed it good...
It stays fresh.
It stays the best,
One can get!
Yes,
Feed it good...
It stays fresh.
It stays the best,
One can get!
Yes,
Just feed it good...
And it stays fresh.
It stays the best,
One can get!

Don't shout or scream,
To be mean and demean.
I'm not your enemy.
Nor do I owe a thing....
To ya!

You can pout with a frown,
Thinking it will bring me down.
To be around...
For your clown count!
To the ground.

But,
If you feed it good...
It stays fresh.
It stays the best,
One can get!
Yes,
Feed it real good...
It stays fresh.
It stays the best,
One can get!
Just,
Feed it good...
And it stays fresh.
It stays the best,
One can get!

Keep that in your head,
And let it feed real good!
Like it should.
Feed it good.
Keep that in your head,
And let it feed real good!
Like it should.
Feed it good.

Yes,
Feed it real good...
It stays fresh.
It stays the best,
One can get!
And,
Keep that in your head,
And let it feed real good!

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Cogitation

if this chair does not exist
will i, this, chair, me, who asks,
if this chair, exists at all,
can i, exist, too? will i be dependent
on the thought of a chair
a thought of me that i think i
can touch, that i think thoughts
touching this thought of a chair
does the chair think about me,
i ask, looking for that therefore
beside the chair that i thought
is a chair, that i thought is I,
am, therefore, a chair, thinking
chair, on four feet?

poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Tonight I Climbed The Wall

(alan jackson)
Our room was filled with silence
I guess wed said it all
I dont when Id seen our bedroom
So long I cant recall
Wed built this thing between us
Im not sure whats the cause
So I sallowed all my pride
And tonight I climbed the wall
Tonight I climbed the wall
And took her by the hand
Wed come too far to fall
Couldnt stand to see it end
So tonight I climbed the wall
Makin love is so much sweeter
When you love the one you hold
After all these years of holdin her
Youd think by now Id know
Now as we lie here together
All our troubles seem so small
Just these satin sheets between us
Cause tonight I climbed the wall
Tonight I climbed the wall
And took her by the hand
Wed come too far to fall
Couldnt stand to see it end
So tonight I climbed the wall
Tonight I climbed the wall
Tonight I climbed the wall

song performed by by Alan Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Chair Is No Longer Just A Chair

it is your experience that
gives you more meaning to all those which
you think
have been too common and
insignificant,

perhaps
now you must have realized as you sit upon a chair
that someone used to sit there

and that someone waited for another to be with her
that on the same chair
there were some fears
and pains and even longings
and hopes
unrealized and by then

you see that chair not just a chair
you sit there
and you ask it
for this chair though muted by wood
will always have
a story to tell....

poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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To My Dearest Doctor Colleague and Friend

How years have flown away like days and hours!
And yet evergreen stays memories of past;
It just appears as if life was a dream;
But 'tis not so, our earthly life's real!

No words can ever describe our days of youth:
The days, we worked together tackling things,
That cropped amidst our academic work;
That friendship stays strong as when it began!

For more than three decades, our friendship stood,
And continues despite staying apart;
But life cannot keep thick friends for long near;
Love stays afresh in hearts of friends always.

Let's thank the Lord for gift of friendship true!
Let's hope to meet again in future too;
Let's tell the world our friendship is alive;
Let's show others that true friendship can't die!

poem by John Celes
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Another Day

Every day she takes a morning bath s e wets her hair,
Wraps a towel around her
As shes heading for the bedroom chair,
Its just another day.
Slipping into stockings,
Stepping into shoes,
Dipping in the pocket of her raincoat.
Ah, its just another day.
At the office where the papers grow she takes a break,
Drinks another coffee
And she finds it hard to stay awake,
Its just another day. du du du du du
Its just another day. du du du du du
Lts just another day.
Ay
So sad, so sad,
Sometimes she feels so sad.
Alone in her apartment shed dwell,
Till the man of her dreams comes to break the spell.
Ah, stay, dont stand around
And he comes and he stays
But he leaves the next day,
So sad.
Sometimes she feels so sad.
As she posts another letter to the sound of five,
People gather round her
And she finds it hard to stay alive,
Its just another day. du du du du du
Its just another day. du du du du du
Its just another day.
Ay
So sad, so sad,
Sometimes she feels so sad.
Alone in her apartment shed dwell,
Till the man of her dreams comes to break the spell.
Ah, stay, dont stand around
And he comes and he stays
But he leaves the next day,
So sad.
Sometimes she feels so sad.
Every day she takes a morning bath she wets her hair,
Wraps a towel around her
As shes heading for the bedroom chair,
Its just another day.
Slipping into stockings,
Stepping into shoes,
Dipping in the pockets of her raincoat.
Ah, its just another day. du du du du du
Its just another day. du du du du du
Its just another day.

song performed by by Paul McCartney
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Recall

I am the land of their fathers,
In me the virtue stays.
I will bring back my children,
After certain days.

Under their feet in the grasses
My clinging magic runs.
They shall return as strangers.
They shall remain as sons.

Over their heads in the branches
Of their new-bought, ancient trees,
I weave an incantation
And draw them to my knees.

Scent of smoke in the evening,
Smell of rain in the night--
The hours, the days and the seasons,
Order their souls aright,

Till I make plain the meaning
Of all my thousand years--
Till I fill their hearts with knowledge,
While I fill their eyes with tears.

poem by Rudyard Kipling
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Itsy Bitsy Spider

(carly simon, based on the nursery rhyme)
(chorus)
The itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout
Down came the rain and washed the spider out
Out came the sun and dried up all the rain
And the itsy bitsy spider climbed up the spout again
I believe in love
And who knows where or when
Bit its comin? around again
(chorus)
I know nothin? stays the same
But if youre willing to play the game
Its comin? around again
(chorus)