Pre-Ulyssean Dilemma
Why did Joyce call the guy Athy
When he could have called him Naas?
On a map of Kildare
Two towns, at a glance,
Rhyme with what's found
In a character's pants.
Young Dedalus shared a sickroom
With a guy nicknamed 'a thigh'.
'An arse' it could have equally been.
Why not? I'll give it a try.
First thoughts were Joyce were a shy man;
Then I guessed his mind too high class.
The truth of it is, he was tickled
By the towns of Athy and of Naas.
Just to mention Athy to an Ireman
Brings on a joke of an arse.
poem by Douglas Scotney
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
Theory of Naas
In times of yore in Ireland
The jokes came thick and fast
About the town of Naas.
They changed the way they said it.
Instead of rhyming Naas with arse
They rhymed it with a face-
Sounds like the queen says 'nice'.
Irish jokers agreed to wipe
Anal-rhyming with old Naas.
Till Joyce-he couldn't stop himself,
Insinuating smarty-arse.
Why did Joyce call the guy Athy
When he could have called him Naas?
On a map of Kildare
Two towns at a glance
Rhyme with what's found
In a character's pants.
Young Dedalus shared a sickroom
With a guy nicknamed 'a thigh'.
'an arse' it could have equally been.
Why not? I'll give it a try:
First thoughts were Joyce were a shy man
Then I guessed his mind too high class.
The truth of it is he was tickled
By the sounds of Athy and of Naas:
Just to mention Athy to an Ireman
Brings on a thought of an arse.
poem by Douglas Scotney
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
There's a town in Kildare called Athy.
Joyce used it to rhyme with a thigh.
He could have used Naas.
That rhymes with an arse.
But I think that his mind was too high.
quote by by Douglas Scotney
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Johnny, I Hardly Knew Ye
WHILE going the road to sweet Athy,
Hurroo! hurroo!
While going the road to sweet Athy,
Hurroo! hurroo!
While going the road to sweet Athy,
A stick in my hand and a drop in my eye,
A doleful damsel I heard cry:
“Och, Johnny, I hardly knew ye!
“With drums and guns, and guns and drums,
The enemy nearly slew ye;
My darling dear, you look so queer,
Och, Johnny, I hardly knew ye!
“Where are your eyes that looked so mild?
Hurroo! hurroo!
Where are your eyes that looked so mild?
Hurroo! hurroo!
Where are your eyes that looked so mild,
When my poor heart you first beguiled?
Why did you run from me and the child?
Och, Johnny, I hardly knew ye!
With drums, etc.
“Where are the legs with which you run?
Hurroo! hurroo!
Where are thy legs with which you run?
Hurroo! hurroo!
Where are the legs with which you run
When first you went to carry a gun?
Indeed, your dancing days are done!
Och, Johnny, I hardly knew ye!
With drums, etc.
It grieved my heart to see you sail,
Hurroo! hurroo!
It grieved my heart to see you sail,
Hurroo! hurroo!
It grieved my heart to see you sail,
Though from my heart you took leg-bail;
Like a cod you’re doubled up head and tail,
Och, Johnny, I hardly knew ye!
With drums, etc.
“You haven’t an arm and you haven’t a leg,
Hurroo! hurroo!
You haven’t an arm and you haven’t a leg,
Hurroo! hurroo!
You haven’t an arm and you haven’t a leg,
You’re an eyeless, noseless, chickenless egg;
You’ll have to be put with a bowl to beg:
Och, Johnny, I hardly knew ye!
With drums, etc.
“I’m happy for to see you home,
Hurroo! hurroo!
I’m happy for to see you home,
Hurroo! hurroo!
I’m happy for to see you home,
All from the Island of Sulloon;
So low in flesh, so high in bone;
Och, Johnny, I hardly knew ye!
With drums, etc.
“But sad it is to see you so,
Hurroo! hurroo!
But sad it is to see you so,
Hurroo! hurroo!
But sad it is to see you so,
And to think of you now as an object of woe,
Your Peggy’ll still keep you on as her beau;
Och, Johnny, I hardly knew ye!
With drums and guns, and guns and drums,
The enemy nearly slew ye;
My darling dear, you look so queer,
Och, Johnny, I hardly knew ye.
poem by Anonymous English
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
You Are So Kind
To all my poetic friends
on The Hunter Site:
This is just a little rhyme
to thank all poets
who have given their time
to comment on my rhyme
with words of truth and
honesty...Joyce Hemsley.
poem by Joyce Hemsley
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
I could be a bit of a pain in the arse. Since I've come out of my cancer, I must say I intend to be even more of a pain in the arse.
quote by Harold Pinter
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Amazing Joyce
On such rare and marvellous talent how can one put a price
She surely is amazing the one and only Joyce
She has tried every form of poetry one must say with success
And to lovers of poetry Worldwide she brings great happiness.
The marvellous Joyce Hemsley a poetic legend of our time
The internet queen of haiku and senryu and the internet queen of rhyme
Six thousand poems to her name she just goes on and on
One cannot say about her that her better days are gone.
In every one of her poems one can detect her poetic voice
The poet for all Seasons is the amazing Joyce
What can be said about her that has not been said before
Six thousand poems to her name and from her expect many more.
She waves the literary banner for England a true poetic great
The amazing poet from Sunderland we ought to celebrate
A legendary online poet by example she leads the way
And surely a great mentor to all young poets of today.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
One of the cries from the people was, don't forget us. They have a long road ahead of them. Operation Blessing has found those little fishing towns. They will not be getting what other towns are getting from the government.
quote by Connie Sellecca
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Cannabis Sativa
Renewable resource
Season of the witch
THC trough pusher dip
Stay with me on this
August is a weak month
Crop into kiln
Shriveling organically
Head down
Roots and panties up
Dealer dealing bad shit
"I gave you an extra gram man"
A morning holiday toke
Still sunshine, sparkling wind
Re-integration of no smoking pad
Crossing a couple of thresholds
I mention to myself
Out loud quite affirmative
"Now that fixes the dog's arse"
Halting abruptly
Why would I say that
What do I mean
What metaphor - what self-esteem
What struggle, what conflict
No style but purpose
No frill but function
Last in the parade - essential
No worry though
I've fixed it, seemingly
Using a tired weed
And a wired mind
And some few others
"If dogs run free, why not me"
"When I carefully consider the curious…`
"When God created dogs.."
Oh so literati! ! ! ! !
What parade, btw?
What?
You fixed the parade?
No, no
It rained on the dog's arse
And I fixed it
Yesterday?
Maybe
But then
The wagon broke
poem by Winston T. Gylles
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
White Supremacist Racist Whore
White Supremacist Racist Whore
Wants interaction
Nothing more
If you think whore's poems lack some class
Then stick you head
Right up your arse
poem by David Keig
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Train Window
Small towns
Crawling out of their green shirts…
Tubercular towns
Coughing a little in the dawn…
And the church…
There is always a church
With its natty spire
And the vestibule—
That's where they whisper:
Tzz-tzz… tzz-tzz… tzz-tzz…
How many codes for a wireless whisper—
And corn flatter than it should be
And those chits of leaves
Gadding with every wind?
Small towns
From Connecticut to Maine:
Tzz-tzz… tzz-tzz…tzz-tzz…
poem by Lola Ridge
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
The Best Way To Avoid Publicity
The best way to avoid publicity in small towns,
Especially...
Where there are those who are quick to peek and probe.
Is to pretend to seek it!
That's right.
People living in small towns love to believe,
There are those living amongst them...
Who seek attention.
And there are very few people I know,
Who advocate the advertising for peace of mind.
People living in small towns,
Frown down upon others...
Just on general principle anyway.
Anything that does not conform to limitation,
Is ignored and left alone.
That's why many celebrities and other notables,
Choose these places to live to be shunned and go unnoticed.
And this feeling has a mutual understanding that is respected.
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Life Through A Lens
Talking movies all the time
Life spent on a silver screen
Days spent on computer games
Living through a TV
No need to leave the house
You can do it all online
Sit on your fat arse all day
Getting bigger all the time
No need to go and socialise
Can meet new friends online
No need to get a lover
Cos cyber sex is fine
Life is getting easier
Your muscles wear away
Sitting on your arse all day
Watching your life turn grey.
(C) Copyright Victoria Hughes August 2005
poem by Victoria Hughes
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Their Arse From Their Elbow
There are certain people
I have met quite a few,
who could tell you every aspect
of the job you do.
When they sit down to do it
and a problem arises there,
because its not in the textbook
they read so confidently,
they haven’t got a clue
of how to handle it
or really what to do.
They don’t know
their arse from their elbow
when a situation like that appears.
As we walk through life
we gain knowledge with every step we take.
However, there are some people
who read a textbook,
and take tests on it.
Then think they know everything
there is to know.
When in fact they cannot even distinguish
their arse from their elbow.
They have no experience
of what real life is,
only what a textbook says.
One day when they
put the textbook down
and start learning about the real things in life.
We all might have a better place to live.
Let us hope the sooner the better.
10 March 2008
poem by David Harris
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
He Knows I'd Love To See Him
I have lived
In the arse of the world
Oh, he knows, he knows
He knows i'd love
To see him happy
(or as close as is allowed)
I've lived
In the arse of the world ...
Oh, he knows, he knows
He knows i'd love
To see him happy
(or as close as possible)
As close as possible
As close as possible
As close as is allowed
Oh ...
My name still conjours up deadly deeds
And a bad taste in the mouth
And the police - they actually know me
They said :
"you're just another person in the world
You're just another fool with radical views
You're just another who has maddening views
You want to turn it on its head
By staying in bed !"
I said : "i know i do"
I said : "i know i do"
I said : "i know i do
song performed by by Morrissey
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Bright Lights
The bright lights are calling me
The bright lights are calling me
When the world is dark and cold
And Im heading down the road
The bright lights are calling me
As the world is round, the road is long
Ive trouble on my mind
Ill just keep on moving
Until the day comes round
The wind a blowing on my back
And my feet a flying
Flying down the road
Where the bright lights shine
Mondays in a pigtown
Tuesdays in a truck
Wednesdays a field of mud
And thursdays out of luck
Fridays rain clouds
Saturday flies by
Sunday comes shining
From a blue blue sky
The bright lights are calling me
The bright lights are calling me
When the world is dark and cold
And Im heading down the road
The bright lights are calling me
Some towns are golden
Some towns are stained
Some towns are shadows
Fading in the rain
Some towns are rust
And some towns they gleam
Some towns are mad dogs
Some towns are a dream
The bright lights are calling me
The bright lights are calling me
When the world is dark and cold
And Im heading down the road
The bright lights are calling me
Some dreams are hollow
Some dreams are cold
Some dreams are crazy
And some dreams are bold
Some dreams are bought
And other dreams are sold
Some dreams lie waiting
At the end of the road
The bright lights are calling me
The bright lights are calling me
When the world is dark and cold
And Im heading down the road
The bright lights are calling me
song performed by by Pogues
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Wishful Thinking
Stick
the blessed relief
up your derriere
if i'm going down
it's kicking and screaming
and don't lecture me
on propriety
I don't give
a rat's arse.
poem by Vince Gullaci
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
I need them, need them to give me a kick up the arse. Otherwise I'd just be sat-in getting fat, counting me money. It's good people living on your doorstep and looking through your bins. Gives you energy.
quote by Liam Gallagher
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Bellow Can Only Be Bellow
BELLOW CAN BE ONLY BELLOW
Bellow can only be Bellow
Kierkegaard-Kierkegaard
Kafka- Kafka
Joyce- Joyce
Borges- Borges
Pessoa-Pessoa
There is only one of each of us-
And no matter how many pages we write
And how many names we give ourselves and our own characters
No matter how many styles we invent
Each one is only one-
And so this small poem too
Will not be for anyone else
Any more or other
Than so much else
Which has already failed to give me the kind of name
Only the truly great have-.
poem by Shalom Freedman
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Whole Towns Talkin
Dont you try to make amends
The damage has been done
Dont expect to part as friends
The battles just begun
I waited at your beckon call
My world turned all around you
I shoulda known the day I found you
Youd be leaving me behind
* the whole town,
The whole towns talkin
The whole town
The whole town,
The whole towns talkin
The whole town*
Theyre starin as I pass em by
How can they be so cold?
Theyre whisperin that Im the guy
Well I dont need to be told
Remember all the days in love
How could you run to a stranger?
Well I knew I was in danger
When it happened overnight
(* repeat)
(* repeat)
(* repeat and fade)
song performed by by Survivor
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Mars Landing Party
Embrasse - moi, mets ton doigt dan mon cul,
Embrasse - moi, mets ton doigt dan mon cul,
Une prsence ambige,
Une prsence inconnue,
Jusqua ce que jen peux plus,
Embrasse - moi, mets ton doigt dan mon cul,
Embrasse - moi, mets ton doigt dan mon cul,
Une prsence ambige,
Une prsence inconnue,
Jusqua ce que jen peux plus,
Embrasse - moi, mets ton doigt dan mon cul,
Embrasse - moi, mets ton doigt dan mon cul,
Une prsence ambige,
Une prsence inconnue,
Jusqua ce que jen peux plus,
Translation
Kiss me, put your finger up my arse,
Kiss me, put your finger up my arse,
An ambiguous presence,
An unknown presence,
Until I cant take it anymore,
Kiss me, put your finger up my arse,
Kiss me, put your finger up my arse,
An ambiguous presence,
An unknown presence,
Until I cant take it anymore,
Kiss me, put your finger up my arse,
Kiss me, put your finger up my arse,
An ambiguous presence,
An unknown presence,
Until I cant take it anymore,
song performed by by Placebo
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!