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Growing Pains

Behold the undergraduate
A most amusing fellow
In all his jesting up-to-date
His sense of humor is so great,
His modern wit so mellow,
That no quip serves him lest it be
Rich in originality.

Assured of overwhelming odds,
Seizing the freshmen's persons,
Indelibly he daubs these clods,
To waken mirth in men and gods.
(Saving a few McPhersons
And other members of their race
Who have of humor, not a trace.)

The softier sort of joke that serves
Dull age - the quaint or quizzical
Gains his contempt, as it deserves;
Mere wordy wit gets on his nerves;
His jokes are ever physical,
And richer qualities attain
The more they hold of cosmic pain.

To torture victims till they squeal
Is mirthfully effectual;
Humor lacks pith unless these feel
Fierce torments: wit has no appeal
That's solely intellectual.
The quirk, the paradox outworn,
The epigram but earn his scorn.

No milder jest may give him joy
Strange, adolescent creature,
Suspended 'twixt the man and boy
No rag's worth while lest it employ
Some quaintly painful feature;
But jokes, that moved the stone-age man
To shrieks of mirth, he'll gladly plan.

Behold the undergraduate
And pity him a little,
Remembering 'twas once our fate
To linger in that loutish state
That holds of grace no tittle,
But comes alike to boy and pup
The penalty of growing up.

poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
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I don't like jokes in speeches. I do like wit and humor. A joke is to humor what pornography is to erotic language in a good novel.

quote by James Humes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I sometimes think that the saving grace of America lies in the fact that the overwhelming majority of Americans are possessed of two great qualities- a sense of humor and a sense of proportion.

quote by Franklin Delano Roosevelt
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Art of Humor

The parody, the comic
The irony, the slapstick 
The comedy, the joke
There are many names of humor

A little flirt, a bit sway
A random bait, a strike catch
A prick of crack, a needed pain
So far we go just for humor 

Because it is fun, because it is crazy
Because it is refreshing, because it brings laugh
Lightening the mood, building emotion
Always use humor in a good way

The situation, the mimic
The trap, the surprise 
The movement, the style
Only human could understand humor 

The witty question, the innocence answer
The spontaneous expression, the awaited performance 
The dilemma, the mistake
Everything could turn into humor 

To tease, to distract
To criticize, to attract 
To break the ice, to open the gag
Don't take humor too serious 

In critical condition, in awkward moment
In relaxing time, in happy hour 
In strange fact, in life experience
Do you know that God also has a sense of humor?

poem by Maria Sudibyo
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Morning Humor

Slippery jack, no more turning back,
All around, morning humor
I am a waiter and I am a server
Ill run to your needs with strength and fervor
In times when you are wasted I will walk in
Through the door, pick you from the floor
Then watch you grow into a man
With a big burly beard
And a mustache to match
Ill watch you love the world
And all that it has...
With that morning humor,
Morning humor
The kind that wakes you up
The kind thats in my blood
Morning humor, morning humor, yeah...
I am on top again, soon to be low again
Oh will this ever end?
Im sorry I dont mean to sound like a whale
Trapped in the ice, but aint it nice to say exactly
What I please...
With a big toney voice or a
Soft mellow voice or the
Loud boisterous voice of an opera, opera lady!
With that morning humor,
Morning humor
The kind that wakes you up.
The kind thats in my blood
Morning humor, morning humor, yeah...
But the joke that kills
Is just a joke to you
You need some...
Slippery jack, no more turning back,
All around, morning humor
The kind that wakes you up
The kind thats in my blood...
Morning humor...

song performed by by Live
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Redeem Yourself, Boy

You botched
the last blow job
but can redeem yourself
on this one

compensate now for some fault
repair the defect

the redeeming feature
of the plan
its simplicity

your saving grace
your sense of humor

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restore honor, worth, reputation

fulfill a pledge
convert

save yourself from a state
of sinfulness
and its
consequences

such is the meaning
of the word
redemption

poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Essence Of Sense Of Humor

It’s the rarest of the commodities
It’s a gift possessed by few
Yes I’m talking about sense of humor
It has an essence that’s absolutely new
People having this rarest quality
Can turn the things all upside down
Making a mockery of most serious cases
They would hardly let you frown
That’s the color it brings to life
That’s the essence of sense of humor
The energy it brings to others and self
Is way beyond all jokes and rumor

You can master the circumstances
You can nullify the negativity
You need not be a professional
It’s only a matter of creativity
It diffuses the negative energy
And infuses the positive
It gives us a new direction
To be a little more sensitive
All tears can turn to smiles
With a small pinch of humor
People will remember you forever
That’s the essence of sense of humor.

poem by Sumeet Mukherjee
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God's Sense of Humor

God has a sense of humor and
If you have time I have a tale.

In military basic training land
The youngsters - not always young -
Always come to chapel..
It is the only place where they are free
Loosed temporarily from the fetters of their captivity.
Basic is a place of pressure and of pain
Access to the military a goal to be gained.
The process lasts about twelve weeks
Twelve being the number choosen by our greatest teacher.

One Christmas eve with help from wife
Her intent being to help ease my preaching strife
A great sermon was spoken to the uniformed throng
Their attentiveness told me absolutely nothing was wrong.
A great sermon preached to a sea of faces
A little less pain in one of God's strange places.

But the best was yet to be
For God's sense of humor held a gift for me
That in that night of greatest pastoral power
A goal of rich adolescent vision had come to flower.

poem by Bill Grace
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Quantum Sufficit

'I only said this German plan
Had points,' remarked the small, meek man.
'I merely said an extra wife
Might add variety to life.
Strange how a woman will resent
A hypothetic argument.
I didn't mean my reference
As personal, in any sense,
But she - aw, why talk, anyhow?
Look at me now!

'This eye. These bumps, here, on my head.
This battered face. I only said
The Germans seemed to be a race
Who had sane views of woman's place.
Who knew her value. As I spoke
I smiled, to show it was a joke,
A merry quip. Have they no sense
Of humor? Are they all as dense
As she? Will none of them allow -
Look at me now!

'I only said that in the end
This German movement might extend
To other lands. I mean to say,
I never meant it in the way
She took the words. It isn't fair!
Jam on my clothes! Egg in my hair!
(Who'd think that she could aim so straight?)
Those Teuton fools are tempting fate
To dream of more than one strong frau.
Look at me now!

'At breakfast time it all began,
Like that,' explained the small, meek man.
'Look at me now! These Nazis might
Perceive a portent in my plight -
My humor scorned; egg in my hair -
If they could see her standing there,
A vengeful fury, angry-eyed,
Ere they would wish her multiplied
They'd think again, however tough.
One is enough.'

poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
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Tale of a Once Upon a Time Christmas Gift for Me from the Deity

God has a sense of humor and
If you have time I have a tale.
In military basic training land
The youngsters - not always young - always come to chapel.
It is the only place where they are free
Loosed temporarily from the fetters of their captivity
It is a place of pressure and of pain
This military basic training lane
Access to the military the goal to be gained.
The process lasts about twelve weeks
Twelve being the number choosen by our greatest teacher.

On Christmas Eve with help from wife
Her intent being to help ease my preaching strife
A great sermon was spoken to the uniformed throng
Their attentiveness told me absolutely nothing was wrong
A great sermon preached to a sea of faces
A little less pain in one of God's strange places.

But the best was yet to be
For God's sense of humor held a gift for me
That in that night of greatest pastoral power
A goal of rich adolescent vision had come to flower.
The goal was to preach in a great filled cathedral
And to do it with an excellence almost sudoral
To do it so well that half would return
To do it so well only half Christ would spurn,
At least as far as his worship would go
The ethical part is still very much in tow.

So God may or may not have a plan
But I suspect She chuckles when She observes man
And although cold stone the structure was not
A legion it could comfortably hold
The half of which were almost down right told
By circumstances beyond their personal control
That to chapel next week they would return
If only for encouragement their first strip to earn.

This is a genunine gift God gave to me
The purpose I think to help me see
That though youthful ambition errs by aiming high
The calculus of our lives belong to the Big Guy.

Note on the use of 'She' to refer to God. It was Oswald Chambers' 'My Utmost for His Highest' that educated me to this in the scriptural sense.

poem by Bill Grace
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There Used To Be Days

There used to be days,
when i was a witty and humorous guy,
that i could make people laugh,
until they start to cry,
and i would often create stories
filled with such a humor and joy,
that everybody would ask me
how can u do it every time oh boy.
There used to be days....

Often i would tell things in such a way,
and often i would act in such a way,
that nobody could resist to laugh,
however hard they may try,
and even if it would be late for the day,
and even if i would be done for the day,
people used to hold me by hand,
and they wont let me say good bye.
There used to be days....

While i was cruising really very fast,
one day something happened that almost broke me apart,
and in those few hours of storm,
i lost whatever wit and humor i ever had,
i thought the things would improve,
but nothing happened as the days passed by,
and i the witty and humorous guy became a silent and shy guy.
but there used to be days...

now nobody laughs at my jokes,
however hard i may try,
and in such a despaired state i am,
that for myself often i cry,
But my heart says to me, keep on giving a try,
life would flip again someday,
and people would again start to laugh at my jokes,
whenever any i will say,
but till now only i can say
that there used to be days...

poem by Sunny Mittal
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The overwhelming majority of Americans are possessed of two great qualities a sense of humor and a sense of proportion.

quote by Franklin D. Roosevelt
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The American public highly overrates its sense of humor. We're great belly laughers and prat fallers, but we never really did have a real sense of humor. Not satire anyway. … When we realize finally that we aren't God's given children, we'll understand satire. Humor is really laughing off a hurt, grinning at misery.

quote by Bill Mauldin
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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I've always chosen my band members based on their sense of humor. It might sound stupid, but it means not only are they fun to live with on a tour bus for years, but humor implies intelligence.

quote by Kristin Hersh
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Frank the Jester

There's joy in legislative halls
When Frank's in opposition;
But gloom upon the Chamber falls
When Frank holds high position.
His merry japes no longer flit
About the House to mellow it,
For cares of office dull his wit
And mar his life's great mission.

Frank's mission - and a high one, too,
Amongst the chiefest rating
Is to infuse come joy anew
Into the dull debating.
When speakers drone and lose their grip,
And every member has the pip,
Up rises Frank with merry quip
And humor scintillating.

But as a Minister, alack,
His ready wit grows clouded.
For higher roles he takes the sack;
For in a House enshrouded
By weariness, when members sup
Of dreariness the prosy cup,
And word goes round that Frank is up,
The benches soon are crowded.

I feel I earn a nation's thanks
If I, with due humility,
Suggest for such a wit as Frank's
A new and fit nobility.
If I'd my way, I'd have him sent
Our happier moods to represent
As 'Minister for Merriment
Without Responsibiiity.'

poem by Clarence Michael James Stanislaus Dennis
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People ask me what the most important thing to take on the race is, and I always say it's a sense of humor. If you've got nothing but a sense of humor, you will survive.

quote by Phil Keoghan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Cents of Humor

A cents of humor is worth much more than gold.

It’ll keep you young while worrying about metal will make you old.

Though gold’s price may go higher, it won’t make the day sunny.

But a cents of humor will summon the rays and make your days funny.

You’ll never control how much gold will be worth.

However, you are in charge of the value of your mirth.

poem by Gregory Huyette
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Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.

quote by Victor Borge
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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All the Jokes

All the jokes have already been told
And so instead, we tell jokes about how
All the jokes have already been told
But these new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad

So instead we tell jokes about how
All the new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad
Because they remind us about how
All the jokes have already been told

But these jokes get old very quickly
So we make up new jokes about how
The jokes about the new jokes about how
All the jokes that have already been told
Are starting to get quite old

But after a while, once these jokes
Have gotten quite old themselves
We sit and listen to the silence
And wonder about the past, and how
All the jokes have already been told

Then suddenly, out of nowhere
Somebody comes up with a joke
That had been forgotten long ago
But is so funny we can't even breathe
So we roll on the floor, gasping for air

poem by Derek Ouyang
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I mean, yeah, I'm sure that Python and the other things have paved the way for a greater understanding of the British sense of humor, but I don't think it's all that different than the American sense of humor.

quote by Simon Pegg
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Humor is … nearer right than any emotion we have. Humor is the atmosphere in which grace most flourishes.

quote by Henry Ward Beecher
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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