I'll Take It! ! !
How do we get signal with your phone?
'Well sir, you must go outside. Stand on your head. Grab the phone with your foot. Bring it down to your head, and start dialing with your other (foot) s toes.'
Oh is that all?
And how much do you want for it?
'30$'
Really why so cheap?
'Well sir so we can sell you malfunctioning products, in mass quantities.'
I'll take it and another.
No lets double that.
Nah, I want a dozen.
Oh can you wrap them each in a little pink bow?
'May I ask who you're getting them for? '
My lawyers, so I can sue your ass.
poem by Ace Of Black Hearts
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Related quotes
Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
If youre havin trouble with your high school head
Hes givin you the blues
You wanna graduate but not in is bed [...but not in his debt]
Heres what you gotta do -
Pick up the phone
Im always home
Call me any time
Just ring
36 24 36 hey [36 24 36 8]
I lead a life of crime
Dirty deeds done dirt cheap
Dirty deeds and theyre done dirt cheap
You got problems in your life of love
You got a broken heart
(shes) hes double dealin with your best friend
Thats when the teardrops start - fella
Pick up the phone
Im here alone
Or make a social call
Come right in
Forget about him
Well have ourselves a ball
Dirty deeds done dirt cheap
Dirty deeds and theyre done dirt cheap
If you got a lady and you want her gone
But you aint got the guts
She keeps naggin at you night and day
Enough to drive you nuts -
Pick up the phone
Leave her alone
Its time you made a stand
For a fee
Im happy to be
Your back door man
Dirty deeds done dirt cheap
Dirty deeds and theyre done dirt cheap
Concrete shoes, cyanide, tnt
Done dirt cheap
Neckties, contracts, high voltage
Done dirt cheap
song performed by by AC-DC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Wal Mart Foot
I drove to Wal mart the other day
When I parked and got right out
A woman with a little girl
Began to cry and shout
“There’s a foot hanging out
Of a car right over there, ”
She pointed nearly hysterical
So of course I began to stare
My husband started to walk away
When I grabbed his arm and said
“Don’t leave now, look over there
Looks like somebody’s dead”
“It’s not real, ” he said with a glance
The woman’s cell phone was at her ear
“Oh yes it is, she said emphatically
“It is exactly what I feared”
My husband, brave as he can be
Walked over and grabbed right on
“See, it’s just a rubber foot”
He reached for the lady’s cell phone
“Lady, It’s not an emergency, ”
He said right in the phone to 911
'It’s a rubber foot this lady saw, '
And handed her back the phone
I know that there are many times
We don’t see what we think you see
But when I looked at the hole in that car
It looked like a foot jutting out to me!
poem by Marilyn Lott
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
If your havin' trouble with your high school head
He's givin' you the blues
You wanna graduate but not in 'is bed
Here's what you gotta do -
Pick up the phone
I'm here alone
Call me any time
36 24 36 (slaver)
I lead a life of crime
Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
repeat
repeat
repeat
Your havin' problems in your life of love
You got a broken heart
He's double dealin' with your best friend
That's when the teardrops start -
Pick up the phone
I'm here alone
Or make a social call
Come right in
Forget about him
We'll have ourselves a ball
Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
repeat
repeat
repeat
If you got a lady but you want her gone
But you ain't got the guts
She keeps naggin' you night and day
Enough to drive you nuts -
Pick up the phone
Leave her alone
It's time you made a stand
For a fee I'll be happy to be
Your back door man
Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
repeat
repeat
repeat
Concrete shoes
song performed by by AC/DC from High Voltage
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Hate My Phone
Have you ever had a phone?
That you couldn’t stand?
If you have, you are not alone.
My phone doesn’t like to follow my command!
My phone hates me!
I hate it!
I would love to throw it in the sea,
But, my life would be gone I have to admit!
I hate my phone!
What can I do?
If only another one I could own.
Another phone I need, but it should be new.
If I get a new phone it will need,
A camera that pictures and video it takes,
Unlimited texting is what we agreed.
I have no time for mistakes!
Also, I would need free long distance,
In case there is someone I want to call that is not where I am,
No, I don’t need any assistance.
For my new phone, all I have to say is DANG!
My new phone will be the envy of everyone,
Everyone will want mine,
To bad that they don’t get it, I’m the only one,
There is no need to whine!
Go Ocean, Go Ocean, Go Ocean!
That’s what they’ll be saying!
I and my phone will be all the rage and commotion!
Everyone will be around me and no, nobody will be playing!
I hate my phone,
I need a new one,
I know I’m not alone,
To have the greatest and newest phone would be fun!
Go Ocean, Go Ocean, Go Ocean! ! ! !
I still hate my phone!
Ha, this poem is long because of a motion!
Ha, I got many problems, luckily I’m not alone!
I Hate My Phone! ! !
poem by Ocean Myranda
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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CP- To Mader
So one night it was dark and I couldn’t see,
I picked up my phone no one to disagree.
I was in possession of a beautiful phone,
Even though the phone was of a girlie tone.
I started checking my message to find out,
That maybe this isn’t my phone – hmm doubt.
But could this be the phone of my eye candy,
Maybe she could be unmarried and change her name to Sandy.
Hmm the possibilities of the owner of the stolen phone,
Oh goodness maybe I should watch my tone.
I return the untouchable phone back to her,
“I thought it was my phone” I said in transfer.
Oh the purple phone that was like mine,
Oh purple phone oh purple phone I let out a sigh….
poem by Coreena Dejesus
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Straw Foot
I guess you didnt hear me
When I told you for the first time
Well dont you worry
It wont be the last
All I need a floorboard
An a wooden shoe
Step aside an let my lady through
Hey foot, straw foot
Low we lay em down
Hey foot, straw foot
Up an back around
See the high priest
He took my place
When the judge looks to me
He saw his sons face
Not gonna join you in
Your tower of babble, boy
Tired o that talkin
Im sick o that noise
Hey foot, straw foot
Low we lay em down
Hey foot, straw foot
Coverin ground
Im not alone
An looks can be deceivin
When we get down to it
Youre talkin when you
Should be leavin
Ive been to nebraska
It reminded me of spain
All the questions loaded
All my answers same
Hey foot, straw foot
Low we lay em down
Hay foot, straw foot
Coverin ground
Let us not mince our words
Lets say it true this time
I need your forgiveness
Just like you need mine
Tell me how it is that
You dont want what hes given
It aint no sin son
To be forgiven
Hey foot, straw foot
Low we lay em down
Hey foot, straw foot
All over town
song performed by by 16 Horsepower
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Cockroach
Sitting in the sunshine
Sipping cheap wine on a bed
Salsa in the summer
Some tequila for my head
Just take me home, just take me home (Just take me home)
I love the winter, winter, yeah yeah
Give me a phone, give me a phone (Give me a phone)
The operator
Red eyes in the sunshine
Sipping cheap wine on a bed
Salsa in the summer
Casanovas walk the stretch
Just take me home, just take me home (Just take me home)
I love the winter, winter, yeah yeah
Give me a phone, give me a phone (Give me a phone)
The operator, yeah yeah yeah
Just take me home, just take me home, just take me home
Cockroach, cockroach, cockroach, cockroach...
Sitting in the sunshine
Some tequila for my head
Just take me home, just take me home (Just take me home)
I love the winter, winter, yeah yeah
Give me a phone, give me a phone (Give me a phone)
The operator, yeah yeah yeah
Just take me home, just take me home (Just take me home)
I love the winter, winter, yeah yeah
Give me a phone, give me a phone (Give me a phone)
song performed by by Feeder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The 'Poem A Day' Project - Day 16
I’ve lost my mobile phone
I’m feeling all alone
I can’t connect with my friends out there
I’ve lost my mobile phone
I’ve lost my mobile phone
I miss its ringing tone
I’ve searched for it everywhere
I’ve lost my mobile phone
I’ve lost my mobile phone
And now I cannot roam
I must stay near in case it rings
I’ve lost my mobile phone
I’ve lost my mobile phone
I do not wish to moan
It has numbers, dates and all kinds of things
I’ve lost my mobile phone
I’ve lost my mobile phone
And now I guess I’m prone
To wander like a lost zombie
I’ve lost my mobile phone
I’ve lost my mobile phone
I’ve no mind of my own
Without it there to organise me
I’ve lost my mobile phone
poem by Flying Lemming
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Phone (Like Him)
the sick old man
in the apartment cold and bare,
raises the gun to his head:
'God forgive me for what i do...'
a cut off notice from the electric company,
unopened on the table,
an eviction notice hanging
on the door...
his son's phone number by the phone,
but the phone, like him,
is dead!
poem by Eric Cockrell
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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So I just got on the phone and the engineer just patched me in and I did reports. I'd get a community leader and bring him to the phone, call up the station and do an interview over the phone with the guy.
quote by Ed Bradley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Don't walk in your big sister foots step!
Every since I was little I use to love my sister shoe
But don't walk in your sister foot steps
I put on my sister shoes and follow her to school
But don't walk in your sister foot steps
I put on my sister blue ekco boots and follow her to the phone booth
Adnd seen her with an unfamiiar crew
Don't walk in your sister foot steps
I put on my sisternew blazzers and follow my sister to the mall
I was standing in the hallway amaze
But don't walk in your sister foot steps!
poem by Valentine White
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Had To Phone Ya
Had to phone ya
Had to phone ya just to talk to you
Had to phone ya just to tell ya I was missing you
It lifts my spirits every single time
Sometimes youre busy for awhile
But when you get through
It makes me smile
A-when I phone ya
Californias not so far away
Youre not alone ya know Im only just a dial away
I visualize that youre looking fine
Feels so good when you come on the line
You (you) you (you) you (you) you (you)
You (you) you (you) you (you) you (you)
You (you) you (you) you (you) you (you)
You (you) you (you) you (you)
Come on
Come on and answer the phone
Come on come on
(I hope your home)
Come on and answer the phone
Come on come on
(I hope your home)
Come on and answer the phone
Come on come on
(I hope your home)
Come on and answer the phone
Come on come on
(I hope your home)
Come on and answer the phone
Come on come on
(I hope your home)
Come on and answer the phone
Come on come on
(hello, hey brian!)
(I hope your home)
song performed by by Beach Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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In Memory of an Old Man
he was an old man then...
6 foot 4, still strong
as an ox...
a carpenter...
and i was his helper;
building interstate bridges
in the south,
walking i-beams,
60 foot off the ground...
2.50 an hour!
we used to go
to his house
after work...
he'd scramble a dozen
eggs, or so...
and break out the sugarhead.
we'd spend hours
listening to him talk
about women, fighting,
loving, and just life!
carrying a sheet of plywood
on a windy day...
i wavered, one foot off the beam.
i felt his gnarled hand
grab my shoulder:
'you dont wanna go down there, boy! '
time has passed, and now i'm old...
and i see my daughters
wavering on the beam...
and i catch myself saying:
'you dont wanna go down there, girl! '
poem by Eric Cockrell
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Ineptness
Carry a big stick,
To threaten from a distance.
Send me pictures of it...
To upset me quick,
With visions I'll be hit with it!
But you'll be wrong wrong.
And I'll be long gone!
Foot power...
Zip.
I like buttered biscuits,
Baked and fresh.
Heated from the oven,
And tasting their best!
You can bring that big stick,
To threaten me with it.
But when I've eaten buttered biscuits,
I'm prepared to split.
Humming a song...
With,
Foot power...zip!
Inept.
Foot power,
Zip!
Ineptness.
Foot power zip!
Inept.
Foot power,
Zip!
Ineptness.
Foot power zip!
'What? '
Foot power zip!
'What is this? '
Foot power zip!
'What? '
Foot power zip!
'What is this? '
Foot power zip!
'What? '
Ineptness!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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On The Run
When youre on the run
Lookin for a friend you can depend on
Your phone it never rung for days that
When youre on the run
Lookin for a friend you can depend on
Your phone it never rung for days that
When youre on the run
When youre on the runused
Used to make a stand
Right up until the day that you were wanted
Then you had to move
cause you were hunted
Anywhere you hide
Tough to find a place to lay your head down
Your phone it never rung for days that
When your on the run
When youre on the run
You better keep lookin behind you
When youre on the run
When youre on the run
*
Look out for the lies theyre comin down the line
*
*
Love upon the wire you gotta find out
Youre phone it never rung
*
*
*
(agnew, charlton, mccafferty, rankin)
Fool circle music
1983 nazareth (dunfermline) ltd.
song performed by by Nazareth
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Little Wise Pink Book.
Oh! The wise little pink book,
Which contain the wise words and pictures,
Where my love lies,
And ma heart lay its head.
How shall I forget about you?
You the mother of ma heart,
Oh! My heart soothers.
Which soothes every pimple that causes agony in ma heart.
You’re my photos album,
when I want to see ma boom,
You contain pictures of ma heart,
From head to toe,
I love you so much, little pink book.
You’re my dictionary,
Whenever I need any love word’s meaning,
Ma love encyclopedia,
To calm my psycho-phobia.
I love you little pink book,
You have been the source of my comfort,
When ma heart was in trouble,
I can’t forget about you,
Little wise pink book.
You are everything,
You are the promise we make,
A phone-family we set-up,
Oh! Little pink book,
You are the CPA of our love.
I love you little pink book.
My eyes shall not let down,
Neither will my heart fail you,
For your words pass through my eyes down to ma heart surpassing my brain,
I love you, little pink book.
My life is yours, little pink book.
poem by Constant's Laiv
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Mr. Pink Eyes
You look so cool
Oh i don't think
Just fall over be like me
Mr. pink eyes
Your mind is blank
And mine's away
Oh you can't see
You can't smell
Mr. pink eyes
It's got to be jazz
That's what she wants
You are so vile
Mr. pink eyes
Oh give me a look
Give me a look
Or sit on my head
Or jump on my foot
Do something
song performed by by Cure
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Said - Unsaid
I was tense
She was not picking
The phone
Since last two days
I decided
May what happen?
I shall keep on calling
I did the same
In all nervousness
Anxiously kept dialing
Ultimately
She responded to
My call
How are you?
I hope all is well
Why you did not
Pick the phone?
Without taking a break
I shot volley of
Questions at her
“I am O.K “
In a sad tone
Was her reply
My anxiety increased
I kept on asking
Again and again
Tell me the truth
Till she started
Sobbing
“Nobody cares”
She ultimately said
“I care”
Was my reply
No, ”I mean”
Those
Who are supposed to?
She said
I will do anything for you
To keep you smiling
I replied
In a desperate voice
She started saying
Those who care
&
Should be nearer
Are far away
Those who are closer
Do not bother
Why god does like this?
She busted out crying
With
Phone near my ears
My eyes wet
I kept on listening
poem by Nirantar Dr.Rajendra Tela
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Lets Go Crazy
If you dont like the world youre living in
Take a look around, at least you got friends
I called my old lady, for a friendly word
She picked up the phone, dropped it on the floor
Is all I heard
Chorus
Are we gonna let de-elevator bring us down?
(oh, no, lets go!)
Lets go crazy, lets get nuts
Lets look for the purple banana til they put us in the truck lets go!
Were all excited but we dont know why
Maybe its coz were all gonna die
And when we do, whats it all for
You better hurry up before the grim reaper come knocking on your door
Chorus
Cmon lets get nuts
Lets go crazy
Are we gonna let de-elevator bring us down?
(oh, no, lets go!)
Lets go crazy, lets go crazy
Lets go, lets go, lets go, lets go
Dr everythingll be alright
Will make everything go wrong
Pills and thrills and dafodills will kill
Hang tough children
Lets go crazy
song performed by by 911
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Old Songs, The
Music & Lyrics by: David Pomeranz
Glasses are chilled and soon
She'll be by
Hope and pray
She'll say that she's willing to give us
Another try
And if all those plans I've made
Don't melt the lady's heart
I'll put on the old 45's
And maybe the old songs
Will bring back the old times
Maybe the old lines
Will sound new
Maybe she'll lay her
Head on my shoulder
Maybe old feelings
Will come through
Maybe we'll start to cry
And wonder why
We ever walked away
Maybe the old songs
Will bring back the old times
And make her want to stay
It's been too long since I've
Seen her face light up
When I come home
It's been too many
Hours I've wasted staring
At the phone
Sweet old songs I'm counting on you
To bring her back to me
I'm tired of listening alone
Maybe the old songs
Will bring back the old times
Maybe the old lines
Will sound new
Maybe she'll lay her
Head on my shoulder
Maybe old feelings
Will come through
Maybe we'll start to cry
And wonder why
We ever walked away
Maybe the old songs
Will bring back the old times
And make her want to stay
song performed by by Barry Manilow
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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