I have a tip that can take 5 strokes off anyone's golf game. It's called an eraser.
quote by Arnold Palmer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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For A Round Of Golf
For leisure the game that so many do play
For a round of golf 'tis a beautiful day
By the wide slow flowing river that crawls to the sea
Men and women practice their strokes before their evening tea.
As a boy I believed hobby golfers had easy jobs
And that those who enjoyed golf were well to do snobs
But such antiquated thinking not relevant today
As all kinds of classes the game of golf play.
A beautiful day for a beautiful game
For most hobby golfers with no aspirations to fame
After work they go to the golf course in the evening sun
And play the eighteen holes for the sake of fun.
Of the praises of golf everybody doesn't sing
But for the participants a game without physical contact can be such a fun thing
In the golf course by the river that to the sea crawl
The crack of the iron on the stone hard golf ball.
poem by Francis Duggan
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Golf Tees Lament
Golf tees on my dresser
Golf tees in my bed
Golf tees on my pillows
Where they poke me in my head
Golf tees in my closet
Falling from my shirts and pants
Golf tees along the baseboards
Just like army ants
Golf tees in the carpet
And underneath my feet
Golf tees lined up on the mantle
Oh, they look so neat
Golf tees in my couch
And in my back and thighs
When I sit and watch TV
I feel those little guys
Golf tees in the kitchen
In Jurassic coffee mugs
Sometimes when I pass them
They look like prehistoric bugs.
Golf tees in the bathtub
Like sailors on plastic ships
Golf tee in her make-up
Like little bald q-tips.
Golf tees in the attic
Golf tees in the shed
Golf tees, golf tees everywhere
I wonder where they bred?
Golf tees out the backdoor
Like Hansel-and-Gretel’s trails
Golf tees in the flowerbeds
Among the mulch and snails
Golf tees in my car
And underneath the mats
Golf tees in the backseat
Like little baseball bats
But when I am at the golf course
I ask my partner, like a louse…
“May I borrow some of your tees? ”
I left mine at the house!
poem by Larry Buddin
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There are no maladies in my golf game. My golf game stinks.
quote by Jack Nicklaus
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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We know that golf is an ancient game with great history and tradition, but our golf is only 10 years old so don't judge us too harshly.
quote by Nursultan Nazarbayev
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Golf-Slow Torture by Handicap
Golf is such a silly game
The less you play it-The greater the fame
But not alas for your average punter
Who stalks the long grass, more like a hunter.
He really isn't playing at all
Half the time he's looking for his ball.
Head always moving(if not hanging in shame)
The ball stays still, so the players to blame.
As more and more strokes we amass
Mainly playing from the longest grass
Temper flaming and words quite blue!
Are you sure this is the game for you?
The just one shot, that you do not thin
And look! Your nearest the pin
Bringing the fame that you seek
Ensuring your return, and the dream
That you will do better - next week!!!
poem by Keith Oldrey
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I mean, I can actually say goodbye to the game of golf, never hit another golf shot the rest of my life and I'd be happy because I can get back in life without any rotation.
quote by Greg Norman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Let the man get his money
Throughout all my life, I tried to act smart
And once, I was driving in a golf cart
With a partner who seemed a little retard
Who was always protected by a bodyguard
I was young and bold, he was old and lame
When he lost in golf, he challenged me for another game
A game of poker, baccarat, roulette
With a gun to my head, I couldn’t say net*
I knew the dices were loaded, from the start
It’s not just the money that were at stake
The old dude wanted to steal my soul
I didn’t have right for a single mistake
Despite the odds I won in his game
He was upping the ante, all the same
Blackjack,3 cards and finally – crap
Yet, he failed to catch me in his devilish trap
My guardian angel was too strong for him
It defeated the old piranha
He waived to his goons and uttered the words:
Let the man get his money…
***
August 25,2009
poem by Slava Olchevski
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Golf is the hardest game in the world. There is no way you can ever get it. Just when you think you do, the game jumps up and puts you in your place.
quote by Ben Crenshaw
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You know, why the game of golf is popular? Very easy, it's a great game.
quote by Bernhard Langer
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If you got the game, you got the game. That's why Tiger Woods is out there playing golf with Greg Norman.
quote by Shaquille O'Neal
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Game Of Fame
'GOLF-THE GAME OF FAME'
I was watching this golf tournament through the visitor's window
The opening pairs were standing under a big tree's shadow
I had been waiting here to see
Who shall the winner ultimately be?
My two sons were participating, and were outside
There were competing against each other, side by side
First session ended, and the players are now in the second half
I was watching them through the window, including the club staff
Everyone was trying their very best and hard
Well it's not an easy game, just like playing cards
I saw some players taking a short nap
This was some relief time for them and for I, after a gap
The third session of the game goes worst
Till the end of the game, we didn't knows who will be first
The game has begun to ooze
I was still watching them through the window, "Who is go'na loose? "
My two sons were slowly picking on the game
My thoughts were, "Who will earn the coveted fame? "
Opponent players were also moving off at last
I saw my younger one ‘playing pretty fast'
My elder one was rushing down the lane
Why his game slowing down the lane
The competition has become intense and difficult to bear
So, the victory time is getting close and near
Now the game has become fast enough
Oh! My younger son has now found a fluff
Players have now quickened and have hurried by
They seem to be working fast, as if to fly
At last, someone has to be won
Nobody else, it's my younger son
I was watching this golf tournament through the visitor's window
The opening pairs were standing under a big tree's shadow
BY SAMRA HAQ
The majority of people who buy homes in golf course communities don't play golf. Golf is way down at the bottom in terms of total numbers and growth.
quote by Ed McMahon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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041010d Physical Day For Me
ole! freddy melted to the green
putting didn't work so as the swing
blame it on the back that is acting
or maybe pressure to be atop a game
when you're getting close to speed limit
there are things body could do some slip
great tommy almost did the same
still hanging in there like kenny
sandy just succumb and melted away
so many of us think playing golf is easy
tell stories plus strokes than it was
when you hold that club and swing
you really don't know exactly where
it is going but for me i go out there
***
d'masters
fred couples 16,17,18 crash
tom watson still fine
kenny perry still there
sandy lyle went to rest
poem by Manonton Dalan
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Both of us played basketball, and I played tennis and my knees are done. Now if you ask us head-to-head who wins at golf, I'm asking for a couple of strokes.
quote by Michael Wilbon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Up To Par
I spent some time at the Medical Arts building
Waiting fo a lady from my Red Cross run
While she was having a perscription filled
I studied people as it was fun
I wondered how many medicines went out
From these vast quantities on the shelf
That would have been better left where they were
A benefit to our health
When out in the hallway I heard someone speak
A one sided conversation on his cell
I heard him say, ' I had three strokes yesterday
It was easy to tell I wasn`t feeling well'
At this point I peeked around the corner
He was leaning up against the wall
I checked up and down and all around me
To see if there was someone I could call
Then he continued to eloborate
And as I listened from afar
I realized he was talking about his golf game
When he said he wasn`t feeling up to par
So the lesson learned from this story
As it pertains to me
I`ll not believe everything I hear
And only part of what I see
poem by Donna Pelan
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The Art of Deception
It’s not a game
like any other game
where a golf ball travels the distance
and being putted into a hole
it is only a small white ball
being lured into a hole
dark and full of deception
have you ever wondered
why the ball is never black?
the hands that hold the putter
take a firm grip in a certain art form
there is positional assurance
before teeing
and these very hands
network with the mind
in continuance they play
vicariously with the heart
and when the world
is minding its own course
and waiting for another PGA tournament,
the greenery is overshadowed
like a transgressor
the golfer becomes an infidel
drunk like a kite in the wind
moaning in apology
with numbness on his lips
making a hiatus
wider than the golf course
how to fine tune this art
with family blunted by fame?
and fortune?
and deception?
poem by Leonard Dabydeen
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Go out and have fun. Golf is a game for everyone, not just for the talented few.
quote by Harvey Penick
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I adore the game of golf. I won't ever retire.
quote by Lee Trevino
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Golf is a spiritual game. It's like Zen. You have to let your mind take over.
quote by Amy Alcott
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Destiny
I thought of other things,
of butcherbirds with wings.
You rang, would you be game
for coffee with a dame?
I thought what is the use
would being a recluse
convince the pesky bird?
Well, Sir, you have my word,
I had no mind to sip
pale latte or to skip
my game of golf at noon
my swim in the lagoon.
You know (I think you do)
that it is surely true
if I had stood my ground
we would have never found
this thing that has us tied
like Bonnie to her Clyde.
The game the gods do play
are full of man's dismay
we'd dwell in misery
and be alone to pee.
poem by Herbert Nehrlich
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