You know when Jerry Ford gets the best joke, you know you're in trouble.
quote by Mark Russell
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Related quotes
I had pro offers from the Detroit Lions and Green Bay Packers, who were pretty hard up for linemen in those days. If I had gone into professional football the name Jerry Ford might have been a household word today.
quote by Gerald R. Ford
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
No More Trouble (feat. Erykah Badu)
[Bob Marley]
(We don't need) No, we don't need (no more trouble) no more trouble!
(We don't need no more trouble)
Wo! Oh-oh-oh!
(We don't need) We don't need no (no more) trouble!
We don't need no trouble!
(We don't need no more trouble)
Make love and not war! 'Cause we don't need no trouble.
What we need is love (love)
To guide and protect us on. (on)
If you hope good down from above, (love)
Help the weak if you are strong now. (love)
We don't need no trouble;
What we need is love. Oh, no!
We don't need - we don't need - no more trouble!
Lord knows, we don't need no trouble!
(We don't need) We don't need trouble (no more trouble) -
no more trouble - no more trouble!
Seek happiness! (...) Oh, ...!
Come on, you all and speak of love. (...) Oh, yeah!
We don't need no trouble;
What we need is love, now. (What we need is love!)
(We don't need) Oh, we don't need no more trouble!
We don't need, no - we don't need no trouble!
We don't (need) - no, brothers and sisters ... (no more trouble!)
We don't need no trouble; we don't need no trouble!
We don't need no trouble!
What we need is love!
We don't need - we don't need no more - we don't need -
no more trouble - we don't need no more trouble!
Trouble we don't need (we don't need),
(We don't need) Lord, knows! -
we don't need no more war (no more trouble).
No more trouble - we don't need no more - more trouble! /fadeout/
song performed by by Bob Marley
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Trouble
Trouble in the city, trouble in the farm,
You got your rabbits foot, you got your good-luck charm.
But they cant help you none when theres trouble.
Trouble,
Trouble, trouble, trouble,
Nothin but trouble.
Trouble in the water, trouble in the air,
Go all the way to the other side of the world, youll find trouble there.
Revolution even aint no solution for trouble.
Trouble,
Trouble, trouble, trouble,
Nothin but trouble.
Drought and starvation, packaging of the soul,
Persecution, execution, governments out of control.
You can see the writing on the wall inviting trouble.
Trouble,
Trouble, trouble, trouble,
Nothin but trouble.
Put your ear to the train tracks, put your ear to the ground,
You ever feel like youre never alone even when theres nobody else around?
Since the beginning of the universe mans been cursed by trouble.
Trouble,
Trouble, trouble, trouble,
Nothin but trouble.
Nightclubs of the broken-hearted, stadiums of the damned,
Legislature, perverted nature, doors that are rudely slammed.
Look into infinity, all you see is trouble.
Trouble,
Trouble, trouble, trouble,
Nothin but trouble.
song performed by by Bob Dylan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Ford O' Kabul River
Kabul town's by Kabul river --
Blow the bugle, draw the sword --
There I lef' my mate for ever,
Wet an' drippin' by the ford.
Ford, ford, ford o' Kabul river,
Ford o' Kabul river in the dark!
There's the river up and brimmin', an' there's 'arf a squadron swimmin'
'Cross the ford o' Kabul river in the dark.
Kabul town's a blasted place --
Blow the bugle, draw the sword --
'Strewth I sha'n't forget 'is face
Wet an' drippin' by the ford!
Ford, ford, ford o' Kabul river,
Ford o' Kabul river in the dark!
Keep the crossing-stakes beside you, an' they will surely guide you
'Cross the ford o' Kabul river in the dark.
Kabul town is sun and dust --
Blow the bugle, draw the sword --
I'd ha' sooner drownded fust
'Stead of 'im beside the ford.
Ford, ford, ford o' Kabul river,
Ford o' Kabul river in the dark!
You can 'ear the 'orses threshin', you can 'ear the men a-splashin',
'Cross the ford o' Kabul river in the dark.
Kabul town was ours to take --
Blow the bugle, draw the sword --
I'd ha' left it for 'is sake --
'Im that left me by the ford.
Ford, ford, ford o' Kabul river,
Ford o' Kabul river in the dark!
It's none so bloomin' dry there; ain't you never comin' nigh there,
'Cross the ford o' Kabul river in the dark?
Kabul town'll go to hell --
Blow the bugle, draw the sword --
'Fore I see him 'live an' well --
'Im the best beside the ford.
Ford, ford, ford o' Kabul river,
Ford o' Kabul river in the dark!
Gawd 'elp 'em if they blunder, for their boots'll pull 'em under,
By the ford o' Kabul river in the dark.
Turn your 'orse from Kabul town --
Blow the bugle, draw the sword --
'Im an' 'arf my troop is down,
Down an' drownded by the ford.
Ford, ford, ford o' Kabul river,
Ford o' Kabul river in the dark!
There's the river low an' fallin', but it ain't no use o' callin'
'Cross the ford o' Kabul river in the dark.
poem by Rudyard Kipling
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Harrison Ford as the President of the United States in Air Force One is such a perfect piece of casting that it's once a fantasy and a joke The joke is how perfect the fantasy is.
quote by Owen Gleiberman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Jerry Ford is so dumb he can't fart and chew gum at the same time.
quote by Lyndon B. Johnson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Girl Trouble
Have mercy on me
I got girl trouble up the ass
Have mercy on me people
I got girl trouble up the ass
And dont tell me no joke
Cause Im not gonna laugh
I need the cure
Only one cure in this world
I need the cure
Only one cure in this world
Hey james brown
I need a woman or a girl
Hit me in the morning
Hit me in the night
Hit me when Im wrong
Hit me when Im right
Hit me when Im up
Hit me when Im down
Hit me hit me hit me hit me
All over town
Girl trouble
I got girl trouble up the ass
And dont tell me
Cause Im not gonna laugh
Im not trying to fool you people
Im not giving you no jive
Make me feel Id rather be dead than alive
Take a look around
Whats shoving up my behind
Problems drive me out of my mind
Girl trouble
I got girl trouble up the ass
And dont tell me no joke
Cause Im not gonna laugh
Gordon gano: vocal, acoustic guitar
Brian ritchie: acoustic bass guitar, vocal
Victor delorenzo: brushed snare drum, tranceaphone, cymbal, vocal
Mixed by david vartanian
gorno music reprinted with permission
song performed by by Violent Femmes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
In many ways when Jerry Ford pardoned Nixon, in a certain way, he did speak for the country.
quote by Morley Safer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Rob Ford 2... Nov 29th,2012
ROB FORD 2... Nov 29th,2012
by
James Bredin
If we don't get Rob Ford back as mayor; we're ruined for sure,
God only knows what the other idiots will do to make us poor,
They might like insite clinics or those doing drugs and crack,
Therefore we need Rob Ford in office to keep Toronto on track.
We like Rob Ford because he's our kinda good guy,
The left-wingers didn't like him and forced him to say goodbye,
Used the courts and a judge to force him out the door,
As if Rob Ford was some sort of criminal bore.
The media has been filled with Rob Ford stuff for several weeks,
Telling Rob Ford stories and his various techniques,
Which goes to show that some can be a very vindictive bunch,
If they get the keys to Rob Ford's office, we will feel the crunch.
Nov 29th,2012
poem by James Bredin
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
When Rick told me he was having trouble with his wife, I had to laugh. Not because of what he said, but because of a joke I thought of. I told him the joke, but he didn't laugh very much. Some friend HE is.
Jack Handey in Deep Thoughts
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
High Price
Jerry Jerry your lifestyles hairy
how do your dope plants grow?
In cramped ceiling, under a naked bulb, my lady,
from little seeds all in a row.
Jerry Jerry your rather smelly
how are your dope plants sold?
By bountiful bagful, or in single rolls, to tally
Waitangi gold, is a trip, for joint discerning bold.
Jerry Jerry do you live in fear
do you feel hunted, with pouncing, policemen near?
The boys in blue, dance a merry, merry tune.
What’s a bust, may come yearly, like June?
Jerry Jerry one day all grow old
will you feel regret, for lives, you’ve sold?
I’ve been living high, flying in narcotic, sky seat.
Life’s been so very sweet, living with prepaid, heat.
Jerry Jerry a future comes, your days done,
there’s no place for you, under our sun?
There’s always a place, man in selective, supplying know.
There’re other trips, after poppy seeds, to sow.
Jerry Jerry it’s time now, you must go
tell of other pastures, you now will hoe?
Man’s full of lust, greed, ever fertile seed,
a high paying price, is charge for need.
No matter where man chance may roam.
A place is found, I’m right at home.
poem by Terence George Craddock
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
I'm not much of a club goer because every time I do go I get in trouble.
It Is A Joke
it is a joke
and it will always be
a joke
that how it is,
it is a joke, my own joke, and i laugh
when i remember it,
i send it to you and you send it back
like a ping-pong ball
it bounces and i see it coming
back to me
it hits me right in my eyes
got double vision, cross-eyed
i am hurt. It is not a joke anymore.
it is here beside
a tear, a bruise, stained and scarred.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
In 1974, the modeling world changed. Jerry Ford and my lawyer negotiated the deal for the first exclusive contract in modeling history.
quote by Lauren Hutton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
It's very little trouble for me to accomodate my fans, unless I'm actually taking a pee at the time.
quote by Harrison Ford
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Lies
Baby
What do I do
Playing my tune for you
Just to get you in the mood
Everybodys going to hollywood
Youre driving me mad
But Im smiling to the crowd instead
A lot of money is at stake, this is a hit and thats a fake
This is what you mean to me
This is what they all should see
Make a make up in a foolish style
Telling the truth by making a big lie
When I come, I come but nothings at ease
Breaking up the whole is a modern disease
Maybe you think tomorrows just a joke
Its a joke after joke after joke after joke
My love
Everythings an interview
And nothings really new
And everybodys looking for clues and you know what to do with a clue
My love
Get ready for the show
Theyre waiting and they will never go
This night is just a go
And its only for show
Dig that deal and be a millionaire
Drinking cocktails in the stratosphere
Getting jetlagged with my business friends in these supersonic wonderlands
Theres a flicker on the graphic display, first hes smiling then hes fading away
Maybe he thinks tomorrows just a joke
Its a joke after joke after joke after joke
Gold/1984
song performed by by Alphaville
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
The Fee
This tree has no trouble
And I have no trouble.
I have no trouble
With this trouble-free tree.
This trouble-free tree
has no trouble
With a trouble-free me.
This trouble-free tree
has no trouble. This tree
has no trouble.
And I have no trouble
With a trouble-free me.
But were I to be free
Of a trouble-free me,
This trouble-free tree
Spells trouble for me.
Were this tree to be free
Of this trouble-free tree,
There might even be
A real trouble-spree.
This is to say, “See,
Trouble exacts a fee:
A price (in fact) to see
This trouble-free tree.”
[5-23-07 Berkeley]
poem by David Floren
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!
Double Trouble
They got a line on you,
Little bit of trouble too,
You got, some jets inside,
Cherry lips, and delirious eyes.
You get in trouble,
And it keeps you down,
Double trouble.
You get in trouble,
And you come to town,
Double trouble,
Oh yea
They better chain your hands,
And you, spread some evil,
Pick and pan.
Hey, you sure got,
Some jets inside,
But you got a little,
With those empty eyes
You get in trouble,
And it keeps you down,
Double trouble,
You get in trouble
And you come to town,
Double trouble,
Oh yea
Youve got (got),
Some jets inside,
Baby, broken promises,
Broken pride
You get in trouble
And it keeps you down,
Double trouble.
You get in trouble,
And you come to town,
Double trouble,
Oh yeah,
You got some trouble,
(double trouble)
And it keeps you down,
Double trouble,
You get in trouble,
And you come to town
Double trouble,
That double trouble,
Oh yeah.
song performed by by Cars
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
Review your work. You will find, if you are honest, that 90% of the trouble is traceable to loafing.
quote by Ford Frick
Submitted by Lucian Velea
Vote! | Copy!
JFK Jr’s Hate America Poem
Imagine yourself at age 15,
And you the son of a President
Of the United States of America.
Would you have written this hymn of hate,
About the country your father served in war,
And the country he died for in Dallas?
Does this say what a Democrat is?
No wonder God took his life
Before he could further ruin this country
This poem of his was written
To be sung to the tune of
“America the Beautiful”
“Oh lovely land of racial lies,
Of crooked ways to fame,
From Kent State to Sharon Tate
We’re proud to bear thy name.
America, America, God spared his grace on thee.
From atom bombs to nuclear arms be proud of U.S.A.
And though you’re bad, we love you mad
You taught us right and wrong
Just look at Vietnam and the trouble that we cause
America, America God looks at us from high
To guide us by our forefathers cry,
Just like Jerry Ford.”
poem by Robert Founder
Submitted by Poetry Lover
Vote! | Copy!