Jerry Ford is so dumb he can't fart and chew gum at the same time.
quote by Lyndon B. Johnson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Chew Chew Chew (Your Bubble Gum)
Ella Fitzgerald - Chew Chew Chew
[Instrumental Intro 55 seconds approx.]
[Ella]
Chew Chew Chew Chew
Your Bubble Gum
Chew Chew Chew Chew
Your Bubble Gum
Chew Chew Chew Chew
Your Bubble Gum
Chew Chew Chew Baby
[Repeated x2]
First you pop, then you stop
The gum gets big and round.
Blow your troubles,
Way like bubbles
When you hear that
Funny little sound [pop noise]
Chew Chew Chew Chew
Your Bubble Gum
Chew Chew Chew Chew
Your Bubble Gum
Chew Chew Chew Chew
Your Bubble Gum
Chew Chew Chew Chew Your Bubble Gum!
[Boys]
Listen Sis your havin fun,
Chewing on your bubble gum
Give us some and we shall see,
Just what fills your heart with glee
[Ella]
Boys your right Im havin fun
Chewin on my bubble gum
Bubble gum it makes me sing,
Here chew some to make you swing!
[Instrumental]
First you pop, then you stop
The gum gets big and round.
Blow your troubles,
Way like bubbles
When you hear that
Funny little sound [pop noise]
song performed by by Ella Fitzgerald
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I had pro offers from the Detroit Lions and Green Bay Packers, who were pretty hard up for linemen in those days. If I had gone into professional football the name Jerry Ford might have been a household word today.
quote by Gerald R. Ford
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I WANNA STIFF YOU...by talile ali
I WANNA DO YOU
DO, DO, DO, YOU
I WANNA DO YOU
RIGHT, RIGHT NOW
I WANNA CHEW YOU
CHEW, CHEW, CHEW, YOU
I WANNA CHEW YOU
HERE AND HOW
I WANNA STIFF YOU
PSYCHEDELIC TWIST YOU
I WANNA STIFF YOU
SWELLING TIGHTLY ON
I WANNA EAT YOU
LICK AND KISS AND MEAT YOU
I WANNA TREAT YOU
TO THIS HORNY SONG
EVERY TIME YOU SEE ME
KNOW YOU WANNA PLEASE ME
IT IS AT THIS TIME
SOMETHING DON'T SEEM TO BE RIGHT
COME ON DOWN AND DO ME
NO NEED TO PITCH AND WOO ME
LETS GO AT IT TILL YOU KNOW
HOW I NEED YOU ALL NIGHT
poem by Talile Ali
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Spill
Push holes in the plastic
Immaculate dolls in the hands of a child with a ratchet
Two fingers too out of control
The confusion shall leave us to vultures and preachers
I hate it...
Can't take it...
I can't believe it
Why don't you see it?
I can't believe it
Chew me up when needed
Turn over another day older
Another day nearer to jumping on over
Bloodsuckers and lover that leave you
And tease you and cheat you, deceive you I see through
I hate it...
Don't want it...
I can't believe it
Why don't you see it?
I can't believe it
Chew me up when needed
I can't believe it
Why don't you see it?
I can't believe it
Chew me up when needed
I'll say what I wanna say
I'll say what I wanna say
I can't believe it
Why don't you see it?
I can't believe it
Chew me up when needed
I can't believe it
Why don't you see it?
I can't believe it
Chew me up when needed
I can't believe it
Why don't you see it?
I can't believe it
Chew me up when needed
I can't believe it
Why don't you see it?
I can't believe it
Chew me up when needed...
song performed by by Feeder
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You Lie...And Yo Breath Stank
You lie and yo breath stank you lie and yo breath stank
Save your time don't give me that speech
And use that time to go brush your teeth
A good mouthwash would be a start
Cause your breath done smell like your mouth done a fart
You lie and yo breath stank
So bad it makes it hard to think
You lie and yo breath stank
Smells just like it's a septic tank
You lie and yo breath stank you lie and yo breath stank
Damn homeboy won't you chew on some gum
You smell like a mixture of chili dogs and rum
Don't be cheap and juts chew on a stick
Throw in the whole pack and chew on it quick
You lie and yo breath stank
So bad it makes it hard to think
You lie and yo breath stank
Rolls me over like a Sherman tank
You lie and yo breath stank you lie and yo breath stank
Open your mouth the whole room stunk
You need a chisel to hammer off the funk
Your breath would turn a shirt into lint
So do us all a favor and suck on a mint
You lie and yo breath stank you lie and yo breath stank
Open your mouth just another lie
What's that smell did somethin' die
A funky kind of stank that makes you go phew
Took a wiff straight out it was coming from you
You lie and yo breath stank
So bad it makes it hard to thank
You lie and yo breath stank
So bad damn your breath is rank
Damn yo breath stank
song performed by by Infectious Grooves
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Ford O' Kabul River
Kabul town's by Kabul river --
Blow the bugle, draw the sword --
There I lef' my mate for ever,
Wet an' drippin' by the ford.
Ford, ford, ford o' Kabul river,
Ford o' Kabul river in the dark!
There's the river up and brimmin', an' there's 'arf a squadron swimmin'
'Cross the ford o' Kabul river in the dark.
Kabul town's a blasted place --
Blow the bugle, draw the sword --
'Strewth I sha'n't forget 'is face
Wet an' drippin' by the ford!
Ford, ford, ford o' Kabul river,
Ford o' Kabul river in the dark!
Keep the crossing-stakes beside you, an' they will surely guide you
'Cross the ford o' Kabul river in the dark.
Kabul town is sun and dust --
Blow the bugle, draw the sword --
I'd ha' sooner drownded fust
'Stead of 'im beside the ford.
Ford, ford, ford o' Kabul river,
Ford o' Kabul river in the dark!
You can 'ear the 'orses threshin', you can 'ear the men a-splashin',
'Cross the ford o' Kabul river in the dark.
Kabul town was ours to take --
Blow the bugle, draw the sword --
I'd ha' left it for 'is sake --
'Im that left me by the ford.
Ford, ford, ford o' Kabul river,
Ford o' Kabul river in the dark!
It's none so bloomin' dry there; ain't you never comin' nigh there,
'Cross the ford o' Kabul river in the dark?
Kabul town'll go to hell --
Blow the bugle, draw the sword --
'Fore I see him 'live an' well --
'Im the best beside the ford.
Ford, ford, ford o' Kabul river,
Ford o' Kabul river in the dark!
Gawd 'elp 'em if they blunder, for their boots'll pull 'em under,
By the ford o' Kabul river in the dark.
Turn your 'orse from Kabul town --
Blow the bugle, draw the sword --
'Im an' 'arf my troop is down,
Down an' drownded by the ford.
Ford, ford, ford o' Kabul river,
Ford o' Kabul river in the dark!
There's the river low an' fallin', but it ain't no use o' callin'
'Cross the ford o' Kabul river in the dark.
poem by Rudyard Kipling
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Ballad Of Jerry
the ballad of jerry
Sad was the day
and sharp was the noise
when the hang out kid saw
that his punishment came
He spent too much time
in praying for joy
It's all about a boy
First came the flashes
followed by crashes
when jealousy rose
in the form of a pistol
Just ashes of wishes
remained in his dishes
It's all about a boy
Jerry can dance,finally
Left all his plans
so far behind
Jerry can dance
it's plain to see
For the last time tonight
Between the sky
and the planks of the scaffold
when the wind it kneels down
and says: God bless you boy
His prayer for bliss
it had been raffled
it's all about a boy
Jerry can dance, finally
Left all his plans so far behind
Jerry can dance it's plain to see
Fot the last time tonight
Jery can dance finally
Left all his plans so far behind
Jerry can dance,
it's hellish to see
For the last time tonight
What have you done sonny-boy
now you're dancing there
on your own
You've got your rope
you're jerking alone
song performed by by Quimby
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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So So Dumb
Uh
Oh yeah
Alright (alright)
Alright alright
Dumb dumb dumb
So so dumb so dumb
Dumb dumb dumb
So so dumb so dumb
Everytime I see ya
Simple bitch pleads
Come here and talk to me
Wanna tell ya (huh)
Tell ya whats been on my mind
The wifes a friend of mine
Why do you need some
Georgia pine in your life
Do you love everything
About the woman you with
Why you tryin to get with t
I thought that you had
Responsibility
See your wife is beautiful (huh)
The kid is two years old (hey)
She folds all your clothes
Whatcha runnin around for
I cant think that youre so
Dumb dumb dumb
She thinks youre so faithful
So so dumb so dumb
And shes such a pretty girl
Dumb dumb dumb
How could you be so damn
So so dumb so dumb
I cant believe
Youre knockin
Youre knockin at my door
I should get my gun
And gun you to the floor
But instead
I think Ill invite you in
Ima call your wife boy
And let her know where youve been
Cuz she thinks that
Youre so faithful
Boy youre so dumb (dumb)
Aint goin down like that no more
Guess whos knockin at the front door
Aint nobody you wanna see come in
You should appreciate your girl
Stop tryin to push it on me
I cant think that youre so
Dumb dumb dumb
She thinks youre so faithful
So so dumb so dumb
And shes such a pretty girl
Dumb dumb dumb
How could you be so damn
So so dumb so dumb
And one day love will leave your side
And no other will hear your cry
But you had to live your own life
Now nobody likes you
Not even you
Why you gotta be so
Dumb dumb dumb
Youve never been faithful
So so dumb so dumb
And you can have those other girls
Dumb dumb dumb
Cuz Im no longer in your world
So so dumb so dumb
I cant think that youre so
Dumb dumb dumb
She thinks youre so faithful
So so dumb so dumb
And shes such a pretty girl
Dumb dumb dumb
How could you be so damn
So so dumb so dumb
So stay away from me (huh)
You better play her somewhere else
You need to look at yourself (huh)
You need to find some help
So so dumb so dumb (dumb dumb)
Dumb dumb dumb (dumb dumb)
(da dumb dumb dumb)
So so dumb so dumb
Dumb dumb...
song performed by by TLC
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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You know when Jerry Ford gets the best joke, you know you're in trouble.
quote by Mark Russell
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Friday's Child
(K.J.Garside C.Gray)
........my daughter,
take her from the water.......
I laid her down.......
For she drinks from the river,
I pray forgive her,
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.
Girl a string of lovers,
Found dead beneath her,
They pulled her down,
For she drinks from the river,
I pray forgive her,
Don't let her drown,
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.
A prayer for the mind who's thread bare,
For those who dare to tread there,
Now the sun is gone,
Oh I pray for my daughter,
I pray support her,
Don't let her drown,
Dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.
song performed by by Queen Adreena
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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In many ways when Jerry Ford pardoned Nixon, in a certain way, he did speak for the country.
quote by Morley Safer
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Rob Ford 2... Nov 29th,2012
ROB FORD 2... Nov 29th,2012
by
James Bredin
If we don't get Rob Ford back as mayor; we're ruined for sure,
God only knows what the other idiots will do to make us poor,
They might like insite clinics or those doing drugs and crack,
Therefore we need Rob Ford in office to keep Toronto on track.
We like Rob Ford because he's our kinda good guy,
The left-wingers didn't like him and forced him to say goodbye,
Used the courts and a judge to force him out the door,
As if Rob Ford was some sort of criminal bore.
The media has been filled with Rob Ford stuff for several weeks,
Telling Rob Ford stories and his various techniques,
Which goes to show that some can be a very vindictive bunch,
If they get the keys to Rob Ford's office, we will feel the crunch.
Nov 29th,2012
poem by James Bredin
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Breakfast Of The Old Farts
the old farts
did meet for breakfast
of coffee and cookies
and fish and rice
and a pomelo and camote chunks
and they all fart
and part and meet again
only to fart some more
this lunchtime.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Thieves Look Holy
To fart is, of course, unpleasant.
To fart silently is to steal
The wind and escape as a thief.
A thief fights thieves to hide his thefts.
(26.06.2011)
poem by Rm. Shanmugam Chettiar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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High Price
Jerry Jerry your lifestyles hairy
how do your dope plants grow?
In cramped ceiling, under a naked bulb, my lady,
from little seeds all in a row.
Jerry Jerry your rather smelly
how are your dope plants sold?
By bountiful bagful, or in single rolls, to tally
Waitangi gold, is a trip, for joint discerning bold.
Jerry Jerry do you live in fear
do you feel hunted, with pouncing, policemen near?
The boys in blue, dance a merry, merry tune.
What’s a bust, may come yearly, like June?
Jerry Jerry one day all grow old
will you feel regret, for lives, you’ve sold?
I’ve been living high, flying in narcotic, sky seat.
Life’s been so very sweet, living with prepaid, heat.
Jerry Jerry a future comes, your days done,
there’s no place for you, under our sun?
There’s always a place, man in selective, supplying know.
There’re other trips, after poppy seeds, to sow.
Jerry Jerry it’s time now, you must go
tell of other pastures, you now will hoe?
Man’s full of lust, greed, ever fertile seed,
a high paying price, is charge for need.
No matter where man chance may roam.
A place is found, I’m right at home.
poem by Terence George Craddock
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Kill Jerry Garcia
Im not gonna choke on your hard sell media dope
Im not going out like that
I dont want to hear about the summer of love
Im not going back in time
I dont want to even let love rule
I want to break the back of brotherly love
I dont want to go back in time
I wanna kill jerry garcia!
I wanna take the past and throw it away
I want to burn the bridge between then and now
Im not going back in time
I wanna kill jerry garcia!
I dont want to sew the seeds of love
I want to punch marty balin in his eye
I dont wanna go back in time
I wanna kill jerry garcia!
(man, I dont have a quarter, leave me alone)
Dont want no dead blood on my hands
I wanna shake the flesh and bone
I dont wanna kill the myth
I wanna kill jerry garcia!
I wanna kick that skeleton in his teeth
Id wanna kick pigpen if he were alive
I dont want to go back in time
I want to kill jerry garcia!
Kill jerry
song performed by by Everclear
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Cows
I love to watch my seven cows
In meads of buttercups abrowse,
With guilded knees;
But even more I love to see
Them chew the cud so tranquilly
In twilight ease.
Each is the image of content
From fragrant hours in clover spent,
'Mid leaf and bud;
As up and down without a pause
Mechanically move their jaws
To chew the cud.
Friend, there's a hope for me and you:
Let us resolve to chew and chew
With molars strong;
The man who learns to masticate
With patience may control his fate,
His life prolong.
In salivation is salvation:
So if some silly little nation
Should bathe in blood,
Let's take a lesson from the cow,
And learn in life's long gloaming how
To chew the cud.
poem by Robert William Service
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Brown Study from the Lowlands
My fart's in the Lowlands, my fart is not here,
My fart's in the Lowlands disgracing I fear -
embracing the oh dear, hear three in a row!
my fart's in the Lowlands, no place else to blow.
Farewell to the colon[y]'s whale of a gale,
the column of calor, one gale won from whale;
wherever I wander, wherever I rove,
my fart blows from private parts, I'm treasure trove cove.
Farewell from gust mounting high in the air;
Hello to disgust leading on to despair,
Hello ivy league bladderwort fount in puds;
Hello to the torrents and loud-pouring floods.
My fart's in the Lowlands, my fart is not here,
My fart's in the Lowlands disgracing I fear -
embracing the oh dear, three more in a row!
my fart blows from Lowlands, so little to show.
[c] Jonathan Robin parody Robert Burns My Heart's in the Highlands 1 July 2008 robi3_1781_burn3_0004 PXX_MXX
My Heart's In The Highlands
Farewell to the Highlands, farewell to the North,
The birth-place of Valour, the country of Worth;
Wherever I wander, wherever I rove,
The hills of the Highlands for ever I love.
My heart's in the Highlands, my heart is not here;
My heart's in the Highlands a-chasing the deer;
A-chasing the wild-deer, and following the roe,
My heart's in the Highlands wherever I go.
Farewell to the mountains high covered with snow;
Farewell to the straths and green valleys below;
Farewell to the forests and wild-hanging woods;
Farewell to the torrents and loud-pouring floods.
My heart's in the Highlands, my heart is not here;
My heart's in the Highlands a-chasing the deer;
A-chasing the wild-deer, and following the roe,
My heart's in the Highlands wherever I go.
Robert Burns - written 1789
tune- 'Failte na Miosg.'
poem by Jonathan Robin
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Plane Dumb
Tom and Jerry cartoon (the human versions, not the cat and mouse)
In 1974, the modeling world changed. Jerry Ford and my lawyer negotiated the deal for the first exclusive contract in modeling history.
quote by Lauren Hutton
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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