I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns. I talk that way, so I write that way.
quote by Allan Sloan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Soon I learned that the worse the puns and jokes, the funnier they could be, if you knew how to deliver them.
quote by John Lasseter
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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All the Jokes
All the jokes have already been told
And so instead, we tell jokes about how
All the jokes have already been told
But these new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad
So instead we tell jokes about how
All the new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad
Because they remind us about how
All the jokes have already been told
But these jokes get old very quickly
So we make up new jokes about how
The jokes about the new jokes about how
All the jokes that have already been told
Are starting to get quite old
But after a while, once these jokes
Have gotten quite old themselves
We sit and listen to the silence
And wonder about the past, and how
All the jokes have already been told
Then suddenly, out of nowhere
Somebody comes up with a joke
That had been forgotten long ago
But is so funny we can't even breathe
So we roll on the floor, gasping for air
poem by Derek Ouyang
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I Love To
I love to talk to myself
And when I talk I love to write it down.
When I write it down you say wonderful
You say a fine poem and a milestone.
I write my thought I write my talk
I enjoy it and
Thank God You always with me
Day and night.
poem by Gajanan Mishra
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Opinion
Congratulations you have won
Its a years subscription of bad puns.
And it makes your story our concern
And you set it up for returns
My opinions. mmm. mmm. (x4)
And there seems to be a problem here.
Your state of emotion seems to clear.
You rise and fall like wall street stock
And you had an affect on our happy talk.
Our opinions. mmm. mmm. (x2)
My opinions. mmm. mmm. (x2)
Congratulations you have won
Its a years subscription of bad puns.
And it makes your story our concern
And you set it up for returns
Our opinions. mmm. mmm.
Your opinions. mmm. mmm. (x3)
My opinions. mmm. mmm.
song performed by by Nirvana
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Drives Me Crazy
It drives me crazy that I love you
I never thought I would ever say that in a million years
Never thought I liked you more than friends
You talk to me more than anyone
You make me laugh even though some things are childish
You know me more than I know myself
I guess since we grew up together its no surprise that you know me better than I
It drives me crazy that I can actually talk to you and you listen
You don't make a big deal out things like some people do
It drives me crazy that we can make jokes about silly things
You're crazier than ever, never thought you would be like that
You use to be so shy in grade school
It drives me crazy that I actually like you
Everything I do I think about how we're closer than ever
It just seems so weird that we can talk to each other
It just drives me crazy
poem by Heather Hill
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Drives Me Crazy
It drives me crazy that I love you
I never thought I would ever say that in a million years
Never thought I liked you more than friends
You talk to me more than anyone
You make me laugh even though some things are childish
You know me more than I know myself
I guess since we grew up together its no surprise that you know me better than I
It drives me crazy that I can actually talk to you and you listen
You don't make a big deal out things like some people do
It drives me crazy that we can make jokes about silly things
You're crazier than ever, never thought you would be like that
You use to be so shy in grade school
It drives me crazy that I actually like you
Everything I do I think about how we're closer than ever
It just seems so weird that we can talk to each other
It just drives me crazy
poem by Espn Chick
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Teacher Idiom Lies
sarcasm sharp bitter barb decrees
those that can do those that can't teach
but is this true no time is the dictator?
time Lords write
not by talent
passion alone
but time passion wealth
resources patronage
independent incomes write
poem by Terence George Craddock
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Because of You
Because of you
I’m angry all the freakin’ time
Because of you
I’m always wary
Because of you
I lost my virtue
Because of you
I am broken
Chorus
Now we’re here
And no way
Will I give in to you
Now we’re here
My only weapon
Is sarcasm
Now we’re here
And I don’t want
What you started with me that day
Now we’re here
And I think
Who gives a crap anyway
End chorus
To you
I’m exposed
To you
I’m a quick target
But you will see
I’m not that easy
There’s more complications
That come with this confident girl
Now we’re here
And no way
Will I give in to you
Now we’re here
My only weapon
Is sarcasm
Now we’re here
And I don’t want
What you started with me that day
Now we’re here
And I think
Who gives a crap anyway
And I stand by and think
What’s the deal here
I never bothered you then
I don’t bother you now
And you started it
And all your friends laugh
Like no one’s watching
And I realize they aren’t
And I don’t want to tell
It’ll urge you on
But I can’t take this anymore
Now we’re here
And no way
Will I give in to you
Now we’re here
My only weapon
Is sarcasm
Now we’re here
And I don’t want
What you started with me that day
Now we’re here
And I think
Who gives a crap anyway
Grew Up Fast
We grew up fast
And no one seemed to notice
We grew up fast
And we grew up alone
Mom and dad
Were never what we wanted
We grew up fast
And we grew up alone
We grew up along
Well you know who I am
So dont treat me like Im someone else
Well you know what I am
So dont treat me like Im someone else
You never act like that with no one else
We grew up fast
When lies were just a fact of life
We grew up mad
Cause we never had a home
We faced the past
And forgave the revolution
We grew up smashed
And we grew up alone
We grew up alone
Hey my brother
I got no fight with you
I just cant lie down
Hey my brother
I got no fight with you
I just cant lie down
No, I just cant ride down
I just cant ride down
Well you know who I am
So dont treat me like Im someone else
Well you know what I am
So dont act like Im something else
Well you know who I am
So dont treat me like Im someone else
You know where I am
So dont act like Im somwhere else
You never talk like that to no one else
You never scream like that for no one else
You never suck like that for no one else
song performed by by Tom Petty
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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When You Meet a Man from Your Own Home Town
Sing, O Muse, in treble clef,
A little song of the A.E.F.,
And pardon me, please, if I give vent
To something akin to sentiment.
But we have our moments Over Here
When we want to cry and we want to cheer;
And the hurrah feeling will not down
When you meet a man from your own home town.
It's many a lonesome, longsome day
Since you embarked from the U.S.A.,
And you met some men--it's a great big war--
From towns that you never had known before;
And you landed here, and your rest camp mate
Was a man from some strange and distant state.
Liked him? Yes; but you wanted to see
A man from the town where you used to be.
And then you went, by design or chance,
All over the well-known map of France;
And you yearned with a yearn that grew and grew
To talk with a man from the burg you knew.
And some lugubrious morn when
Your morale is batting about .110,
"Where are you from?" and you make reply,
And the O.D. warrior says, "So am I."
The universe wears a smiling face
As you spill your talk of the old home place;
You talk of the streets, and the home town jokes,
And you find that you know each other's folks;
And you haven't any more woes at all
Ad you both decide that the world is small--
A statement adding to its renown
When you meet a man from your own home town.
You may be among the enlisted men,
You may be a Lieut. or a Major-Gen.;
Your home may be up in the Chilkoot Pass,
In Denver, Col., or in Pittsfield, Mass.;
You may have come from Chicago, Ill.,
Buffalo, Portland, or Louisville--
But there's nothing, I'm gambling, can keep you down,
When you meet a man from your own home town.
* * * * *
If you want to know why I wrote this pome,
Well . . . I've just had a talk with a guy from home.
poem by Franklin P. Adams
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally talk the way they talk in life if you were in this particular situation.
quote by Larry David
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Quick to Boost Children With Wit
I once sought acceptance.
As a child growing in an environment.
Living amongst those I was told to respect.
With words untold...
I also grew to respect.
On their terms.
Since the same turf we shared.
Back then and during those times I yearned,
To learn!
But as I grew to understand from hard knocks.
Like throwing rocks at children.
And finding them and their parents...
Coming to my folks,
With not a smile on their faces!
Not a one looking...
As if they came to tell a series of jokes.
My yearnings to learn,
Took me, at times, away from my neighborhood.
Sometimes alone!
And for me this was good.
I soon came to understand...
Some folks didn't have a high degree of curiosity.
In fact...
Many couldn't read.
And those kids who could...
Were kinda ostracized from the 'hood'.
And growing up in a huge family...
I kept my thirst for learning,
As a secret kept within me!
But today as an aging man...
I know how important it is,
To be who I am.
And I am quick to boost children with wit.
Encouraging them to be inquisitive.
And observe how minds empty of thought...
Will have their hands out,
With nothing in them to share or give!
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I sit in places like Costa Coffee in Banstead and write rubbish. I need a deadline. I think about the 44 tour dates and keep imagining standing in front of all these people. Then every day I write 15 jokes minimum.
It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.
quote by Wanda Sykes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Don't Write Because I Can
I don’t write because I can
I don’t write because I’m told to
I write because when the day is done
I know it’s a friend I can turn to
It’s a friend who always laughs
And it’s a friend who will always care
And better yet I’ll always know
It’s a friend who will always be there
We’ve together faced rough times
and eventually older I grew
But when I get a pen and paper
we both feel as good as new
So I don’t write because I can
and I don’t write because I’m told to
I write because when I’m lost and alone
I know an old friend will help me though
poem by Lauren Saari
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It is futile for an artist to try to create an environment because you have an environment around you all the time. Any living organism has an environment.
quote by Carl Andre
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Talk with My Hands
Just because my voice doesn’t speak
don’t mean I don’t say a word.
I talk with my hand
when I want to be heard.
I speak fast for those who know me.
I slow down for the ones who stop
to hear me. I talk with my hand.
I have preached sermons
and I have told jokes
With my hand I have spoke.
Now, as for those who don’t
want to hear me no matter
what I say or do.
I’ll still talk with my hands
I’ll fold them and pray for you.
I talk with my hand
You are a product of your environment. So choose the environment that will best develop you toward your objective. Analyze your life in terms of its environment. Are the things around you helping you toward success - or are they holding you back?
quote by Clement Stone
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I grew up in a mostly Buddhist environment.
quote by Uma Thurman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If the joke's at your expense
If the joke's at your expense... don't ask for the bill
Take the blows smiling... and then go for the kill!
Sarcasm screaming loud...outta my head
Laugh's cruel acid rain... Leaves mind dead
When a smile turns to smirk
It gets too bloody dark
Dark humor, Devil's grin
Tranquility of liquid sin
At times, you know, smiles can make
One Cry and break High hopes, STILL make
You, the butt of all jokes that they crack
poem by Saurabh Som
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