En.Citatepedia^®.ro

Soon I learned that the worse the puns and jokes, the funnier they could be, if you knew how to deliver them.

quote by John Lasseter
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns. I talk that way, so I write that way.

quote by Allan Sloan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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All the Jokes

All the jokes have already been told
And so instead, we tell jokes about how
All the jokes have already been told
But these new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad

So instead we tell jokes about how
All the new jokes aren't very funny
In fact, they're actually kind of sad
Because they remind us about how
All the jokes have already been told

But these jokes get old very quickly
So we make up new jokes about how
The jokes about the new jokes about how
All the jokes that have already been told
Are starting to get quite old

But after a while, once these jokes
Have gotten quite old themselves
We sit and listen to the silence
And wonder about the past, and how
All the jokes have already been told

Then suddenly, out of nowhere
Somebody comes up with a joke
That had been forgotten long ago
But is so funny we can't even breathe
So we roll on the floor, gasping for air

poem by Derek Ouyang
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I don't think Will does get upstaged because his reaction is always funnier than what is actually happening. That is also the reason Tommy is funnier than Will.

quote by Barry Sonnenfeld
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The funnier the material, the funnier I could make it.

quote by Ruth Buzzi
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Deliver Me

Deliver me from darkness.
Deliver me from pain.
Deliver me from loneliness
and let love remain.

Deliver me from blindness.
Deliver me from chains.
Deliver me from unhappiness
and let drops of rain

Shower me with acceptance,
Shower me with song,
Shower me with goodness.
Deliver me from wrong.

poem by Edwina Reizer
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Deliver Me

deliver me...
from the fury, the noise,
and the roar of the wheel...
deliver me...
from my own insecurities,
my unconscious greed,
and my self driven fears.
deliver me...
from my conceptual understanding,
my limited knowledge,
and my worship of knowledge.
deliver me...
from all anger and hatred
in whatever disguise...
deliver me...
from being driven by
mouth and stomach unchecked,
from what i think i need.
deliver me..
from my countless mistakes,
and the excuses i make!
deliver me...
from any kind of pride
that closes the open hand!
deliver me...
from any sense of self
that would seperate and divide.
deliver me...
from laziness and tiredness,
from bitterness and lonliness.
deliver me...
from all forms of apathy,
and the want to possess...
deliver me...
and bring me to realize myself!

poem by Eric Cockrell
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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I'll Do My Best To Deliver

Ask me for what you want.
Just ask me,
Ask me.
And make it anything,
You need...
From me.

Ask me for what you want.
Ask me for what you need,
And I'll do my best to deliver.
Ask me.
Just ask me.

Ask me for what you want.
Just ask me.
Ask me.
Ask me for anything,
And I will fullfill...
That need.

Ask me for what you want.
Ask me for what you need,
And I'll do my best to deliver.
Ask me.
Just ask me.
And I'll do my best to deliver.
Ask me.
Just ask me.

Oh ask me for what you want.
Ask me for what you need,
And I'll do my best to deliver.
Ask me.
Just ask me.
And I will do my best to deliver.
Ask me.
Just ask me.
And I'll do my best to deliver.
Ask me.
Just ask me.
And I will do my best to deliver.

Just ask me for what you want.
Just ask me for what you need,
And I will do my best to deliver.

Come thunderstorms, rain or shine...
That pressure you have will be taken right off your mind.
I will do my best to deliver.
Just ask me...
Ask me,
And I'll do my best to deliver.
Ask me.
Just ask me.

Come thunderstorms, rain or shine.
That pressure you have will be taken right off your mind.
And I will do my best to deliver.
Just ask me...
Ask me,
And I'll do my best to deliver.
Just ask me...
Ask me,
And I will do my best to deliver.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Devotion

If I am right
If I can be
Constant and faithful
Youll find me
In my devotion
In my devotion
What if you find a fault
Between my purpose and my deeds
And deem me beyond salvation
Judge me to be unworthy
Of your devotion
Of your devotion
If this be obsession deliver me
A passing infatuation deliver me
A feeling lacking in purity deliver me
A test of fidelity deliver me
Deliver me
Deliver me
What if I should find
Youre no good for me
What if I cant be strong enough
What if I cant break free
Of my devotion
Of my devotion

song performed by by Tracy Chapman
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Knowing Of An End Result Produced

I am not here,
With a wish to deliver.
I am here,
Because I can deliver.
There is a huge difference between,
Wanting to do and a doing to be done.
With a knowing of a coming end result,
Produced! And, not held up in discussion.

I am not here,
With a wish to deliver.
I am here,
Because I can deliver.
And I've been called a 'mother--'
On many occasions.
And strangely enough,
By those caring less how long I spent in labor.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Without My Interference

Very early I was given one choice...
To listen.
OR...
Suffer through the consequences.

Of course,
I knew those consequences well.
With bruises on my head,
From knocking it up against brick walls.

But that was then.

Not only have I learned to listen...
I now have learned to pay attention.
With less from my mouth going out.
And more with my eyes and ears open,
To receive and allow what is coming in...
To make its own sense without my interference.
To learn 'something' I had not learned before.

And you know...
It is amazing how this works,
To obtain comprehension.
Who knew this approach,
Leads to a quickened understanding?
Who knew that's how this happens?
I still find myself scratching my head in disbelief.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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It wasn't until I became more confident with myself and I put myself forward instead of the jokes; at first it was put the jokes out there and I'm just behind the jokes.

quote by Wanda Sykes
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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We Got Two Jealous Agains

I thought you were the one when I heard holidays in the sun come
From your bedroom but my mind started to stray when I saw youth of today
Mixed with your singles whats with this underdog
And this gnr ep? I dont think hanoi rocks
And I dont want your paul stanley next to my subhumans gatefold
Im not trying to be a jerk but I dont think this record mergers gonna work
But when I saw christ on parade, and this is boston, not la
I knew you were the one
I knew you were for me when I saw the first vandals ep
I found snfu and cool I owned that record too
Seems we both had social unrest and sung shes a pervert nurse
We both had the first pressing of how could hell be any worse
So now we got two earth ads and we got two killing jokes
We got two adolescents two penis and two the crews
We got two someone got their head kicked ins
We got two declines, two damaged
And two jelous agains, I knew you were the one
When I saw machine gun etiquette
I knew you were the one when I saw the peace war comp
We got two articles of faith, 31 minutes of group sex
We got a couple of avengers, and a pair of out of steps
We got 2 what we do is secret, we got 2 tsols
We got 2 freedom of choices we got two three hits from
Hells
I knew you were the one

song performed by by NOFX
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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I Am Not A Random Tongue Lasher

I only know what I know.
And the undoing of my experiences,
To appease another's sensitivities...
Will not with me happen.
My honesty I have earned.
And those self evaluations,
For me did not come easy.

If I have to eliminate,
Something for years I have carried on my back.
The chances of that being taken off...
Will be quicker than ears will hear me apologize,
For a comment I've made...
Someone took as a personal attack.

And 'if' I've said anything offensive to anyone?
Trust me they have done something,
Worse to me than that.

I am not a random tongue lasher!
I deliver back what is given.
If I am given garbage...
One will get from me 'that' and lots of trash!

I've learned not to play,
With 'kids' who refuse to leave...
Their outlived but revisited playgrounds.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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With The Scaping Of Knees And Knuckles

I've learned to keep my own lips silenced.
To keep them shut.
Even though an opinion sat on my tongue,
Preparing for an appearance to be heard...
With a retorting done no matter how absurd.

There is nothing like the scent of conflict.
And the familiarity of its arrival.
Along with its creators and who is prone to deliver it.
I've learned to fix my lips to sit together.
And with the clinching of teeth if necessary.

Once one is introduced to a peace of mind,
It becomes more treasured...
Than having the keys to a Mercedes.
No luxury on Earth can replace a peace of mind.
I have discovered that...
With the scaping of knees and knuckles done.

I've learned there are times when the best of thoughts,
Can sometimes be those kept to oneself...
To go unheard by anyone else that may offend to defend.
Yes...
I've learned to keep my own lips silenced.
To keep them shut.

poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Learned...

from being homeless,
i learned the value of home!
from being hungry,
i learned the value of being fed.
from being sick,
i learned the value of health.
from being left alone,
i learned the value of love.
from being confined in a cell,
i learned the value of freedom.
from being persecuted,
i learned the value of human rights.
from being an infidel,
i learned to see the face of god...

poem by Eric Cockrell
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The first thing I learned at school was that some people are idiots; the second thing I learned was that some are even worse.

Orhan Pamuk in Istanbul: Memories and the City
Submitted by Veronica Serbanoiu
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I'm Moving On

Today this is to all of you
Who knew me and what I went through
I'd say how could you.
But that is just not me anymore
Instead I ask where are you now
Are you of the proud

Today this is all to you
Who knew me and what I went through
I'd say why did you watch and do nothing
But that is just not in me anymore
Instead I rather open the door for you for once more
I'm here to help

Today this is to all of you
Who knew me and what I went through
I'd how you watch me suffer like no other
But that is just not in anymore
I'm not here to settle old scores
As one might think
But instead tell you what I've learned
From such a cruel world

The weeping willow tree cry's as the souls die
She sags but yet is still strong
I think she has moved on

The weeping willow tree cry's as the souls die
She sags but yet is still strong
I think she has moved on

Today this is to all of you
That knew me and all of what I went through
I'd say why did you put my face in the dirt when it hurt the worse
But that's just not in me anymore
Those wounds have longed heal
As all that left is the faded scars
Its a constant reminder of who we are.

poem by Ace Of Black Hearts
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Please Be The One

(gary burr, sunny russ)
This desert lies
Its so unfair
I think theres water everywhere
Im always fooled
Just when I think Im saved
But I dont have the strength
To do again
What always comes undone
Deliver me
Please be the one
Ive thought I wasted all those prayers
Till I looked up and you were there
Oh in your eyes
I see theres hope for me
I need your love
To finish off
What others have begun
Deliver me
Please be the one
Be the one who makes me see
Be wonderful a reason
Be the one who rescues me
With a love I can believe in
Let it be true
That you can do
What no one else has done
Deliver me
Please be the one
Oh deliver me
Please be the one

song performed by by Reba Mcentire
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Sound Of Wings.....

from the bars of the cell,
i learned freedom from the body.
from the underside of the bridge,
i learned home has not a house.
from forty years of working,
i learned the bitterness of the slave.
from the political lies,
i learned that truth cant be bought.
from the books i read,
i learned to reason and question.
from the heroin needle,
i learned the value of life.
from love lost,
i learned how to love.
from doubt i learned seeking,
in seeking i found god to be more.
from the scars on my heart,
i learned to be a man.
from battles fought and lost,
i learned the need for peace.
from discrimination i learned equality,
from anger i learned forgiveness.
from the mirror i learned responsibility...
from the bars of the cell,
i learned the sound of wings!

poem by Eric Cockrell
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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First Year University Expereinces

I learned why it is not wise to skip class often

I learned that skipping homework in university is not the same as skipping homework in high school

I learned what it feels like to be awake for over 2 days

I learned how to smoke pot from a bong

I learned how to compose an essay the day before it's due

I learned that the Freshman 15 is no joke

I learned how to do laundry

I learned to pretend to be happy

I learned to multitask

I learned to be more sociable

I learned why my parents and teachers warned me about the difficulty of university

I learned that failing is expensive

I learned small things, like freshly washed bed sheets, make me happy
I learned to lie

I learned how expensive alcohol is

I learned what it feels like to be a failure

I type this rant while skipping my business ethics class as I further delay the composition of my psychology term paper

poem by Michelle Cow
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