Men will confess to treason, murder, arson, false teeth, or a wig. How many of them will own up to a lack of humor?
quote by Frank Moore Colby
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Knife
Slit and
Slither knife
Penetrate in phallic push
To perforate the pulse of tissues in the flesh
Slice a vein to drain the unsuspecting victim
E’er they bleed and plea
Their scream
Of death
Copyright © Mark R Slaughter 2010
murder
murder murder
murder murder
murder murder murder murder murder murder
murder murder murder murder murder murder murder
murder murder murder murder murder murder
murder murder
murder murder
murder
poem by Mark R Slaughter
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Problem With Teeth
The problem with teeth that are false
Is they don't always ride out their course
They shift when you're eating
Or fly loose at a greeting
Some marriages end with divorce!
The problem with teeth that are false
Is that they won't always lie
In a mouth half their size
And can drive a sane man up the wall
The problem with teeth that are false
Is they don't always ride out life's course
In on a hospital stay they get 'put away'
Until you can't find them at all!
And when they do finally arrive
It's on a woman whose barely alive
Though's she's making a terrible din
But when she smiles she possesses your grin
And it's hard to reclaim them
Because she's renamed them
But the teeth that you've got won't fit in! ! .
The problem with teeth that are false
Is that they rarey survive in life's course
So it's better to brush and religiously floss
So you don't have to lose them at all!
yvette smith
poem by Yvette Smith
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Premeditation
Oh blade you'll warm tonight!
Awash in crimson-purple flows,
Your sheen will dull with aching flesh:
Palpating anatomic mounds
Caressing, dancing, writhing round
Your metal form-
Whetted ‘gainst a lonely bone,
Then to probe the pounding, begging heart.
And all the while the prey will howl
Before they crumple; greet the mud-
A taut and unbelieving jowl
Will open out for giving blood-
A vent from down below,
Once a brutal show
Of metal in the man.
Copyright © Mark R Slaughter 2010
murder
murder murder
murder murder
murder murder murder murder murder murder
murder murder murder murder murder murder murder
murder murder murder murder murder murder
murder murder
murder murder
murder
poem by Mark R Slaughter
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Crime & Punishment
Your name has
Staged coup in my mouth
For this treason high
Murder was avoidable; perhaps
through murder alone
* Inspired by poems from Anna Russell & AA
poem by Frank Lisa IndiRa Francesca Roger Platt Cornish Ma
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Cow Catchers
Those days there were cow-catchers
at all serious gateways
like St.Peter’s
which made your teeth clatter
and collected water.
They were implicated in the murder
of one Moreas,
a Matador from Moraco
who had large conspicuous gap
between his bunny-like incisors. (Upper jaw) .
It was said the murder indeed took place
because the cow-catchers thought his teeth
mocked them when the paparazzi
reported a mosquito with dry wings
couldn’t find the way in.
poem by Saranyan Bee
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Kinder Murder
Here in the bar, the boys like to have fun
Theres a wager lost and an argument won
Theres a stone-washed damsel on a junk food run
Its a kinder murder
Theres a ladder to heaven from a battered stiletto
Spitting out the words that he put into her mouth
See her in silhouette going down south
Its a kinder murder
Its a kinder murder
She could have kept her knees together
Should have kept her mouth shut
Its a kinder murder
Its a kinder murder
Jimmy took her down to the perimeter fence
He was back in half an hour, he said he left her senseless
Then he went back to his regiment
Its a kinder murder
The officer said it has to be denied
Theres a tear-stained would-be teenage bride
All the family pride in the little ram-rider
Its a kinder murder
Its a kinder murder
She could have kept her knees together
Should have kept her mouth shut
Its a kinder murder
Its a kinder murder
The child went missing and the photo fit his face
Dishonoured jimmy just read about the case
He said that he was just taking up space
Its a kinder murder
Jimmy took his best friends keys from the pile on the table in a flash
He was dreaming of the pigskin seats and the walnut dash
The knickers in her handbag and the one false eyelash
Its a kinder murder
Its a kinder murder
She could have kept her knees together
Could have kept her mouth shut
Its a kinder murder [4x]
song performed by by Elvis Costello
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Vengeful Poem
you ask if you can burn
a house
then to answer it
you burned one
the family house
where your mom died a week ago
was ashed
you father left
unable to stand you
you handed your arms
they will not take it
they confess
they still love you
when the police officer charged you with arson
they put you in a place where no one knows you
they still protect
as their own brother by blood
all that you have in mind is an escape
you want to burn another house
one day
you told the man next door that you can kill him
he told your brother
who asked you about your scheme
of your first premeditated murder
you said you want to try if you can really kill a man
with your bare hands
you have become uncontrollable
now a lesson must be given to you
you will be captured in this poem
it is inside a rectangular perimeter
there is no exit
now our world shall be calm
and it will be peaceful upon its bed of grass
because
this poem also knows how to kill
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Please, O God of Humor
Please, O God of Humor, give me the gift of being funny
naturally funny
so I can produce poetry and verse that tickles
and makes readers laugh so much their coins roll out of their wallets;
and let the children roll on the floor when my poems are recited;
for indeed my humor is the worst online by any standard
(or lack of standard)
for when I publish poems meant to be funny
my readers never understand me
and what I thought funny, they think tragic
and what I thought was tickle-tickle material
they find pathetic and practically laughable;
I am lectured to or consoled by readers
when I attempt humor;
I am sent e-mails and spam of advice
and words of caution when I attempt to be witty;
and my 113th poem
on the funny side of social networking
brought sympathy and pity for my lack of friends
but no appreciation for what I thought was funny;
and my 213th poem on old ladies at banks
brought outrage at me for hanging out at banks to ogle at wealthy, old ladies;
my 3131th poem on religion, the Divine
and its Power-packed representatives on Planet Earth
provoked no laughter but the ire and wrath of the other God
(you know, not you the Laughing God,
but the Other One, the Only One, the Angry Jealous God)
really neither man nor beast
nor the Highest Being in heaven
truly
nobody laughs at my verse
and nobody finds my offbeat humor at all funny;
Oh please,
God of Humor,
please make my humor a little like that of
Mr Bean or Jim Carrie
so I can have a universal audience
that will laugh at anything I write
(and perhaps incidentally, I’ll make some money)
and then they’ll all say:
See what the God of Humor and Laughter has done
for that simpleton Raj who never knew what humor in poetry is…
Please God of Humor, won't you humor me?
poem by Raj Arumugam
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Dire Wolf
In the timbers to fennario, the wolves are running round,
The winter was so hard and cold, froze ten feet neath the ground.
Dont murder me, I beg of you, dont murder me. please, dont murder me.
I sat down to my supper, twas a bottle of red whisky,
I said my prayers and went to bed, thats the last they saw of me.
Dont murder me, I beg of you, dont murder me. please, dont murder me.
When I awoke, the dire wolf, six hundred pounds of sin,
Was grinning at my window, all I said was come on in.
Dont murder me, I beg of you, dont murder me. please, dont murder me.
The wolf came in, I got my cards, we sat down for a game.
I cut my deck to the queen of spades, but the cards were all the same.
Dont murder me, I beg of you, dont murder me. please, dont murder me.
In the backwash of fennario, the black and bloody mire,
The dire wolf collects his dues, while the boys sing round the fire.
Dont murder me, I beg of you, dont murder me. please, dont murder me.
No, no, no dont murder me. I beg of you,
Dont murder me. please, dont murder me.
song performed by by Grateful Dead
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
Humor is the only test of gravity, and gravity of humor; for a subject which will not bear raillery is suspicious, and a jest which will not bear serious examination is false wit.
I don't know how to construct a career that'll make me famous. Except maybe get my ears pinned back, get my teeth done, and go to America. But then I'll be competing with billions of actors who haven't got false teeth, and who are 25.
I don't have false teeth. Do you think I'd buy teeth like these?
quote by Carol Burnett
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Murderer
I murder in the morning
I murder late at night
l murder when the time is right
l murder my family
l murder my friends
l murder anyone who gets in my way
l kill you with a gun
l kill you with a knife
l kill you with poison
l'm a murderer
l'm going to kill you now
don't scream
don't yell
don't fight me
just sit there and
DIE
DIE
DIE
DIE! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
poem by Rebecca Succes
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Love
Darling what love are you talking? ,
When you saw me dead with a knife
Stabbed on my stomach yesterday
You shouted out of fear of your life
murder, murder danger thief fire!
You did not say oh my darling leaving
Me alive how can you be dead?
Darling what love are you talking?
I had broken two teeth making peace
With you, out of love of me can you
Break two teeth of you?
Darling what love are you talking?
Out of love of me can you go away
For a while to give relief to me?
For a moment can you hand over me
For my pleasure to that lady? Or
Will you allow me to chat with
Those of hungry women sitting
Thousands miles away on barren land?
poem by Abdul Wahab
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With Teeth
But she will not let you go
But this time Im not coming back
She will not let you go
But this time Im not coming back
Keeps holding on
She will not let you go
Keeps holding on and on
She will not let you go
No, no, no, no, no!
With teeth
With teeth
With teeth
With teeth
I cannot go through this again /x8
No, no, no, no, no!
With teeth
With teeth
With teeth
With teeth
Youve finally found the place where you belong
It comes on strong
She makes you hard
The rules have changed, the line begins to blur
To what you were
Wave goodbye
With teeth
With teeth
With teeth
With teeth
And it runs deeper than you dare to dream it could be
The black seal
She makes you better than anything youve tried
Its in her kiss
She comes along
She gets inside
song performed by by Nine Inch Nails
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Insane Culture Of Mass-Murder” (The Billion-Dollar Question)
We must all stay aware…..,
Of the Insane Culture Of Mass-Murder….,
It’s been increasing for years….,
The Insane Culture Of Mass-Murder ….! ! !
Can’t dare turn our backs….,
On the Insane Culture Of Mass-Murder ….,
It’ll sneak up and kill us…,
The Insane Culture Of Mass-Murder ….! ! !
It’s hard to believe and conceive….
The Insane Culture Of Mass-Murder ….,
That’s why so many are blind….,
To the Insane Culture Of Mass-Murder …! ! !
We’ve seen the bloody attacks…..,
Of the Insane Culture Of Mass-Murder ….,
So we must face the facts….,
On the Insane Culture Of Mass-Murder ….! ! !
Yes they’re after us all…,
The Insane Culture Of Mass-Murder ….,
Their radical religion condones it….,
The Insane Culture Of Mass-Murder ….! ! !
Can we control it or stop it….,
So it won’t go any further….? ? ?
That’s the billion-dollar question….,
On the Insane Culture Of Mass-Murder …! ! !
poem by Trade Martin
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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America's state religion, is patriotism, a phenomenon which has convinced many of the citizenry that ""treason"" is morally worse than murder or rape.
quote by William Blum
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations. There is more logic in humor than in anything else. Because, you see, humor is truth.
quote by Victor Borge
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Daggers
I think of murder
And I think,
Am I above it or just far away?
Is it beneath me or just not in me?
Or perhaps I’m mistaken
And murder is well within me,
Lurking in my being
Like some skittish imp
Hovering nervous as a finger
A hairs breadth over the trigger
Of a chain reaction of circumstances.
Or instead of this and me being above it
Is it somehow above me,
Like some club of heroes
I cannot join for lack of courage?
I guess all I know for sure
Of my location
In murders great divide…
Is my cringing scared reflection,
Of a victim in your eyes.
poem by Kay Vitter
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