Swallow a toad in the morning and you will encounter nothing more disgusting the rest of the day.
quote by Nicolas de Chamfort
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
I Swallow
I swallow pride,
I swallow guilt,
I swallow everything he spilt.
I wipe away the remnants of,
What is left of both our love.
I swallow all that is not seen,
I swallow every broken dream,
I swallow when I want to scream,
This by itself is magic.
I swallow if just for his likes,
I swallow and it’s tragic.
poem by Mrs. Cynosure
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Uncle Toad Said
Uncle toad sittin by the old south gate
Waitin them boys they bin stayin out late
Uncle toad thinks theyre way out of line
Maybe they think he is past his prime
Uncle toad said better straighten up right
When uncle toad spoke it was not a pretty sight
Uncle toad lived in the wood out back
Lived in the shade of a utility shack
He looked in at the big brick housr
At the girls as quiet as a mouse
Uncle toad said you had best get it right
When uncle toad spoke it was not a pretty sight
Uncle toad tucked in the compost pile
Out by the back door look at him smile
He said kid stop drinkin that brew
Plan while ya can or the jokes on you
Uncle toad said better straighten up right
When uncle toad spoke it was not a pretty sight
Uncle toad sittin by the swimmin pool
Sits in the sun when the weather turns cool
Sits in the sun when the girls walk by
Maybe they think hes a little bit sly
Uncle toad said you had best get it right
When uncle toad spoke it was not a pretty sight
Uncle toad sittin by the cool mill race
All day long with a grin on his face
He said boys you had better not try
Kissin em girls cause I wont stand by
Uncle toad sittin by the wrought iron fence
Lookin at the moon like it dont make sense
We say toad heres lookin at you
Hopin you get your wish too
Sway to the left, sway to the right
When uncle toad spoke it was not a pretty sight
song performed by by Gordon Lightfoot
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Wise Toad
I talked to a toad and he asked me,
'Are humans as ignorant as they seem to be? '
All over the world they fight and kill,
Saying they do it because of their god's will.
I'm just a toad, but I'm sure that a divine god
Wouldn't give such actions an approving nod.
Then so many die for that thing called democracy,
But those few winning get most of stuff called money.
All the rest just exist day by day and hour by hour,
While the rich get richer and gain unbridled power.
Although I may have lots of warts and be just a toad,
I'll bet I can find humans a kinder and gentler road.'
poem by Gregory Huyette
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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We consider Christmas as the encounter, the great encounter, the historical encounter, the decisive encounter, between God and mankind. He who has faith knows this truly; let him rejoice.
quote by Pope Paul VI
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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ThE pAiN..........
I'll swallow the pain of being misunderstood.
I'll swallow the pain of being no good.
I'll just swallow the pain of not fitting in.
I'll just swallow the pain of not deserving.
I'll swallow the pain of hiding myself.
I'll swallow the pain of having no help.
I'll just swallow the pain of being constantly hurt.
I'll just swallow the pain of being thought as a nerd.
I'll swallow the pain of breaking my heart.
And in all of my dreams, with sorrow I'll part........
poem by Urmila Reghunath
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A Note For Franz Kafka
one morning
when i discover
that i have turned
into a cockroach
you may write
what i will
do
you may theorize
that since i will be
to shy to go out
of my room just like
what your character did
then i may lock my
room, not eat,
and only talk to
my sister
that i may soon hate
my father
and will soon forget
my mother
i can relate to all
these based on my
readings
but i can see
what i can do
when i stink and
soon fear light
when even the air
which is suppose to
hush a lullaby
now hurts too
just like the rest
of those who
are close to me
and turn themselves
into disgusting monsters
more disgusting
than my being a
human-cockroach
you know very well
that i am brave enough
to force the door
to the other room
the one that none of
you has ever entered
i can use a knife
an ax or a hand grenade
i can even use a bomb
to break this
back door open
i am brave and
will always be restless
on a broken wing
of a bird i can
always still manage
to fly
away.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Prelude To Kafka
one morning
when i discover
that i have turned
into a cockroach
you may write
what i will
do
you may theorize
that since i will be
to shy to go out
of my room just like
what your character did
then i may lock my
room, not eat,
and only talk to
my sister
that i may soon hate
my father
and will soon forget
my mother
i can relate to all
these based on my
readings
but i can see
what i can do
when i stink and
soon fear light
when even the air
which is suppose to
hush a lullaby
now hurts too
just like the rest
of those who
are close to me
and turn themselves
into disgusting monsters
more disgusting
than my being a
human-cockroach
you know very well
that i am brave enough
to force the door
to the other room
the one that none of
you has ever entered
i can use a knife
an ax or a hand grenade
i can even use a bomb
to break this
back door open
i am brave and
will always be restless
on a broken wing
of a bird i can
always still manage
to fly
away.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Horny Toad
{b-side of delirious}
If I had your number
Id call u on the phone
Id breathe a little heavy [...] word maybe Id start to groan
I dont love u
Im just a horny toad
I dont want your money
cause I got all I need
All I want is to rub your body until u start to bleed
I dont love u
Im just a horny toad
If I had your address
Id come right 2 your door
Id knock all day till u let me in and then Id knock some more
I aint crazy
Im just a horny toad
If u think Im nasty
U aint seen nothing yet
Ysee Im the kinda brother that the more u scream the nastier I get
I cant help it
Im just a horny toad
Now watch me dance!
Run and go tell your boyfriend
His loving has got you bored
Might as well pack his things and get his bad ass on the road
Tell him u live on a lilly pad
With a horny toad
song performed by by Prince
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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She Won't Swallow It
Warning-Sexual content! May not be suitable for all readers!
Parody of the classic song from the film of the same name The Girl Can't Help It
She won't swallow it, the girl won't swallow it
She won't swallow it, the girl won't swallow it
She walks by, got mine standing at attention
Tight inside of my jeans
Still...
She won't swallow it, the girl won't swallow it
She winks her eye, flirts with me so outragous and naughty
Gets me so damn horny
Only to burn me like toast
Cos no matter how often I ask
She won't swallow it, the girl won't swallow it
She' s got me turned on the most
Yet even if I got down tonight on my knees
I think I know still what her answer would be
She won't swallow it, the girl won't swallow it
The girl won't swallow it
Won't get down on her knees
Not even once just to see if she would like it
Oh yeah
Sad but true
She won't swallow it, the girl won't swallow it
And even when I beg her pretty please
A horny boyfriend down on his knees
She won't swallow it, the girl won't swallow it
Still I'm hopin' and prayin' someday
Her answer will be
The girl will swallow it cos she's just as horny as me
She won't swallow it, the girl won't swallow it
She won't even pretend to mess around with it
In the dark or in the sun
She won't swallow it, the girl won't swallow it
If I give her some good old fashion lovin' way down there
Then should't she do the same for me?
The girl won't swallow it, the girl won't swallow it
Always makes me feel so damn bad just for askin'
Just like a dirty old grandpa instead of the young kinky 21 that I am
She won't swallow it, the girl won't swallow it
The girl won't swallow it
Won't get down on her knees
Not even once just to see if she would like it
Oh yeah
Sad but true
She won't swallow it, the girl won't swallow it
And even when I beg her pretty please
A horny boyfriend down on his knees
She won't swallow it, the girl won't swallow it
Still I'm hopin' and prayin' someday
Her answer will be
The girl will swallow it cos she's just as horny as me
She won't swallow it, the girl won't swallow it
She walks by, got my manhood locked up tight in a vise
As I pant and moan for that little something
That little something more that she just won't give
Still I'm hopin' and prayin' someday
Her answer will be
The girl will swallow it cos she's just as horny as me
She won't swallow it, the girl won't swallow it
2008 Ramona Thompson
poem by Ramona Thompson
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A Musical Note
Liddle lie, liddle lie, liddle lie lay lee.
Liddle lie, liddle lie, liddle lie lay low.
These are the words that were sent to me
in a letter from my brother-in-law-Joe.
He said as the cock-crowed last Tuesday morning
he heard singing coming from down his garden.
Surprised and not believing what he was hearing
he went to see where the sound was coming from.
As he casually walked to the bottom of the garden
the singing became louder with his every stride.
He slowly parted the branches of the hedgerow
and saw a toad and mouse sitting side by side.
The toad sat cross-legged on a spotted toadstool
playing a mandolin and singing out loud.
The mouse was clapping in time to the music,
as were other animals that made up the crowd.
All the creatures joined in with the chorus
as they clapped and stamped their feet,
but then a mandolin string snapped and twanged,
which caused the toad to fall off his seat.
The audience stopped singing and fell about laughing,
as the toad got up from the ground,
he explained that the performance was now over
unless a new string could quickly be found.
With pain the mouse pulled out one of its whiskers
and asked the toad if it would be alright.
The musical toad smiled and said it would be perfect,
and adjusted the whisker to sound just right.
Once more the toad began playing and singing
to the happy hand clapping crowd.
Until a huge tabby tomcat called Thomas,
frightened everyone with its ‘meow’!
poem by Orlando Belo
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Strange Jokes
Well: Death is a huge omnivorous Toad
Grim squatting on a twilight road.
He catcheth all that Circumstance
Hath tossed to him.
He curseth all who upward glance
As lost to him.
Once in a whimsey mood he sat
And talked of life, in proverbs pat,
To Eve in Eden, -- "Death, on Life" --
As if he knew!
And so he toadied Adam's wife
There, in the dew.
O dainty dew, O morning dew
That gleamed in the world's first dawn, did you
And the sweet grass and manful oaks
Give lair and rest
To him who toadwise sits and croaks
His death-behest?
Who fears the hungry Toad? Not I!
He but unfetters me to fly.
The German still, when one is dead,
Cries out "Der Tod!"
But, pilgrims, Christ will walk ahead
And clear the road.
poem by Sidney Lanier
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"Think as I think" said the man, "or you are abominable. You are a toad." And after I had thought on it, I said "I will then, be a toad."
quote by Stephen Crane
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Toads Revenge
The spider ate the fly,
captured in a web of uncertainty.
The toad ate the spider,
captured in the swamp of reality.
The snake ate the toad,
captured in the grasses of fantasy.
The hawk ate the snake,
captured in the shade of unrest.
The man ate the golden hawk,
captured in the sky of extinction.
The man died with a broken arrow.
The toad had poison within the marrow.
poem by Saint Eule
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Toad And The Crocodile
“Good morning, ” said Toad, as she rested on a lily pad burping bubbles.
“Good morning, ” said Crocodile, looking disturbed and troubled.
“I don’t suppose, ” said Toad “that you saw two toads pass by this way? ”
“Let me think…” said Crocodile “oh yes, I saw them earlier today.”
A tear rolled down the cheek of the crocodile and splashed into the pond.
“Why are you crying Crocodile, what could’ve possibly gone wrong? ”
“I’m sorry, ” said Crocodile, “I’m an emotional old crocodile and often cry.”
“What a shame, ” said Toad, “you say my husband and daughter passed by? ”
“Oh… I didn’t realise they were your family, they were so nice,
I gave them a helping hand and some very good advice.”
“Thanks for your time and trouble; you’re a very considerate crocodile,
so unlike the ones I’ve heard about that live in the Nile.
Can you remember which direction they went, ” said Toad full of hope.
“I can, ” said Crocodile, “they slid down a very slippery slope.”
“But did they seem alright, I mean did they look safe and well? ”
“Yes they did, but I don’t really know, it was hard to tell.”
“Why do you say that, is there something that you’re not telling me? ”
“I’m sorry you’re quite right, I shouldn’t keep you from your family.
When they asked for help they were being chased by a ferocious lion,
so I suggested that they came aboard and hid until it had gone.”
“Wonderful, so where are they now? ” She said with a puzzled stare.
“Why, they’re having tea with everyone else that’s hiding in there.”
“Would it be possible to speak with them before I burst into tears? ”
“Of course I’ll open my mouth, so you can tell them you’re here.”
She shouted their names, as the crocodile’s mouth opened wider and wider.
“They’re not coming, ” said Crocodile; “they’re enjoying the cakes and cider.”
Toad began to cry, which made her burp louder, as she sadly walked away.
“Where are you going, ” said the crocodile, “your family is not here to stay.
Would you like to come aboard and join in with the others having a good time?
Come on Toad, I’ll open the doors; hurry now before I change my mind.”
Toad cautiously hopped forward and took a giant leap down the crocodiles throat,
she landed in a dark place where she heard noises and two other toads croak.
“Is that you husband” she said, “why didn’t you come out when I shouted you? ”
“The crocodile wouldn’t open the doors, ” he said “what more could I do? ”
“Well, we can’t just sit here and do nothing we’ve got to try and jump free,
let’s hope we can burp enough to give him wind; come on, on my count of three.”
For ages the toads burped and jumped about trying to fill the crocodile with air,
then a rumbling turned into an eruption and they were burped out of there.
Before the crocodile had noticed the toads were sitting a safe distance away,
“Hello friend crocodile, ” said mother toad, “we’re sorry we couldn’t stay.”
poem by Orlando Belo
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From The Short Story What The Swallows Did
Swallow, swallow, neighbor swallow,
Starting on your autumn flight,
Pause a moment at my window,
Twitter softly your good-night;
For the summer days are over,
All your duties are well done,
And the happy homes you builded
Have grown empty, one by one.
Swallow, swallow, neighbor swallow,
Are you ready for your flight?
Are all the feather cloaks completed?
Are the little caps all right?
Are the young wings strong and steady
For the journey through the sky?
Come again in early spring-time;
And till then, good-by, good-by!
poem by Louisa May Alcott
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Coke balls
Please, listen everybody
I want to tell you about a candy
That I bought today
And I call this “Coke Balls” and it will make you say
“Wow! This is the best candy that I’ve ever tasted
It taste so good when it’s in my mouth while I’m rolling it around and gets melted”
But be careful when you put it down your throat
Because you might get choke
When your about to eat this coke balls
Don’t swallow it all
You got to put in your mouth
And roll it around wait till it melts out
A little bit, and then you can put it down your throat
Now you won’t get choke, then you’re going to have fun eating my coke
My coke balls, oh my coke balls
You can swallow it all
When is melted a little bit so you won’t get choke
Go have my coke balls, my coke
My coke balls
This is my funny disgusting sexpoem. I'm sorry for the people who's not going to like this but i'm just joking about this. I'm sorry again
poem by Monino Martin
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If you eat a live toad first thing in the morning, nothing worse will happen all day long.
A Frog And A Toad
A tiny frog on a lili-pad,
Was so depressed she felt so sad.
She wrung her hands and racked her brain,
And said to herself, I'm going insane.
I'm in love with the toad that lives next door,
When my dad finds out he'll go through the floor.
And I can't imagine what mom will do.
My black and green will be black and blue.
While she pondered on, the snake swam by,
And the little frog uttered a sigh.
She asked hey snake what would you do,
If you were in love with a toad like lou?
The snake replied, I'll tell you what,
You really put me on the spot.
A frog I could love, a toad too fat,
I'd rather be seen with a rat.
But you little frog with your leopard spots,
I think that you could dot my dots.
Come over here and say to me,
That you'll be mine for eternity.
The little frog opened her eyes,
And saw in the snake no truth just lies.
She jumped in the water and swam away,
And found her lou and said o.k.
It's not so bad to be black and blue,
And have your daddy be mad at you.
It's better to be with an ugly toad,
Than inside a snake and growing cold.
4/20/10 29 palms ca.
poem by Juan Olivarez
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Frog Or Is It A Toad (Fun Poem 22)
The fairy tale says,
that every time you kiss
a frog or is it a toad,
it turns into a prince or a princess,
depending on which story you have heard.
I thought that I would test the theory.
First on a frog, I tried,
but nothing happened there.
Then I grabbed the biggest toad,
gave it a great big kiss as you know.
All I ended up with was a big wart
on the end of my nose.
So if you are looking for a prince or princess,
do not kiss a frog or toad,
because you might end up like me,
with a big wart on the end of your nose.
poem by David Harris
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