Horny Toad
{b-side of delirious}
If I had your number
Id call u on the phone
Id breathe a little heavy [...] word maybe Id start to groan
I dont love u
Im just a horny toad
I dont want your money
cause I got all I need
All I want is to rub your body until u start to bleed
I dont love u
Im just a horny toad
If I had your address
Id come right 2 your door
Id knock all day till u let me in and then Id knock some more
I aint crazy
Im just a horny toad
If u think Im nasty
U aint seen nothing yet
Ysee Im the kinda brother that the more u scream the nastier I get
I cant help it
Im just a horny toad
Now watch me dance!
Run and go tell your boyfriend
His loving has got you bored
Might as well pack his things and get his bad ass on the road
Tell him u live on a lilly pad
With a horny toad
song performed by by Prince
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Related quotes
Me So Horny Edited
Oh, so horny....ohh, so horny....ohh, so horny.
Me love you long time.
Oh, so horny....ohh, so horny....ohh, so horny.
Me love you long time.
Me, so horny....so, so horny...me, so horny.
Me love you long time.
Me, so horny....so, so horny... me, so horny....
Me love you long time.
Sittin at home watchin arsinio hall, so I got my black book for a freak to call.
Picked up the telephone and dialed the seven digits.
Said yo this is marquis baby, are you down with it?
I arrived at her house, knocked on the door.
Not having no idea of what the night had in store.
Im like a dog in heat, a freak without warning.
I have an appetite for love cause me so horny.
Oh, me so horny....ohh, me so horny...oh, me so horny.
Me love you long time.
Oh, me so horny....oh, so, so horny....oh, me so horny.
Me love you long time
Girls always ask me why I buck so much.
I say whats wrong baby doll, with being a mutt?
cause my nature is rising and you shouldnt be mad.
I wont tell your momma if you dont tell your dad.
I know hell be disgusted when he sees your clothes all messed up.
Wont your momma be so mad if she knew youve just been had.
Im a freak in heat, a dog without warning.
My appetite is love, cause me so horny.
Oh, so horny....ohh, so horny...oh, so horny.
Me love you love time.
Oh, so horny....oh, so, so horny....oh, so horny.
Me love you long time
You can say Im desperate.
Even call me perverted, but youll say Im a dog when I leave you lost and deserted.
Ill play witcha your heart and will show no shame.
Ill be blowin your mind cuase youre lame to the game.
Im just like that man they call georgie puddin pie.
Ill break their girls hearts and I make them cry.
Im like a dog in heat, a freak without warning.
I have an appetite for love cause me so horny.
Oh, so horny....ohh, so, so horny....oh, so horny.
Me love you long time
Oh, so horny....oh, so, so horny....oh, so horny.
Me love you long time
Ohh, so horny....ohh, h so horny....oh, so horny.
Ohh, so, so horny....ohh, so horny.
Me love you long time
Its true you were alone until you met me.
I was the first to dress you up and made you sexy.
You tell your parents that were going out.
Never to the movies, just straight to my house.
You said it yourself. you like it like I do.
Put your arms around me and squeez me too.
Im a freak in heat, a dog without warning.
I have an appetite for love cause me so horny.
Oh, me so horny....ohh, so so horny....oh, me so horny.
Me love you long time
Oh, me so horny....ohh, so so horny....oh, me so horny.
Me love you long time.
song performed by by 2 Live Crew
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Horny Pony
{b-side of cream}
Ahhh, yes.
New dance commercial take 1
Ahhh, yes.
There ya go, there ya go
Horny people, gather here
Horny people, gather here
Horny people, gather here,
We have somethin to put in all your ears
We got a new dance, for the next 8 years
Im talking about the dance that every parent fears
The most, its the sex dance, its the new dance,
And its rockin from coast-2-coast...
Im talkin about, Im talkin about,
Im talkin about the horny pony, yall
Come on. there ya go, there ya go. horny pony
Girl-friend, look at this dance prince is doin now. is he weird or what?
Sing. (horny pony... ow ow ow)
Now thats too freaky!
In the years of the war, we dont want 2 know
Youre buckin that body like u really go
For the hip stuff,
H and to the I and to the p
It aint enough just 2 do some exstacy.
U want it in your hip, u want it in your thigh
Its the dance that conservatives really most despise
cuz its the sex dance, its the new dance,
And its rockin every horny woman, every man
Its the horny pony, yall
(horny pony... ow ow ow) there ya go.
Turn around.
Chicken grease in the house.
Chicken grease? I dont know! thats it... I gotta run.
And u can run all the way 2 barcelona,
But u cant hide, the horny pony get ya gonna.
Dont look at me yall, I just wrote it,
Put on a record, wrapped it up, and then I sold it.
Horny people gather here,
Horny people gather here, for the next 8 years,
We got a new dance - its the horny pony.
Yeah, the musics jammin, but its about these words!
Sing. (horny pony... ow ow ow)
Girl... uh-uh... nope!
Did ya come 2 party now? (yeah-yeah)
Do ya really wanna now? (yeah-yeah)
If youre horny let me know (yeah-yeah)
A pony til ya boogie now (yeah-yeah)
So how am I supposed to do this dance?
How do you do that dance!? !
I cant do that... Im a lady. sister please!
I cant do that!
Listen to me while I show u how 2 do it.
Just like a virgin, u got 2 ease into it.
Movin your legs from left to right,
Your arms up high like an eagle in flight.
Keep your hands shakin like a leaf on a tree.
Jack-be-nimble - whew - youre doin it, see!
The horny pony, yall. there ya go, there ya go.
Its the horny pony.
Can you believe this? oh my gawd, this guy...
Oh, hes just... hes just so weird. oh my goodness.
Would you look at this? I just... I just cannot believe.
Girl, uh-uh... nope!
(horny pony... ow ow ow)
Did you come here alone?
Uhh - yeah. why?
Well guess who youre goin home with?
Huh?
(a laugh)
Ugh! thats nasty!
Yeah.
(there ya go, there ya go.)
The horny pony.
(there ya go, there ya go.)
(horny pony... ow ow ow)
song performed by by Prince
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Uncle Toad Said
Uncle toad sittin by the old south gate
Waitin them boys they bin stayin out late
Uncle toad thinks theyre way out of line
Maybe they think he is past his prime
Uncle toad said better straighten up right
When uncle toad spoke it was not a pretty sight
Uncle toad lived in the wood out back
Lived in the shade of a utility shack
He looked in at the big brick housr
At the girls as quiet as a mouse
Uncle toad said you had best get it right
When uncle toad spoke it was not a pretty sight
Uncle toad tucked in the compost pile
Out by the back door look at him smile
He said kid stop drinkin that brew
Plan while ya can or the jokes on you
Uncle toad said better straighten up right
When uncle toad spoke it was not a pretty sight
Uncle toad sittin by the swimmin pool
Sits in the sun when the weather turns cool
Sits in the sun when the girls walk by
Maybe they think hes a little bit sly
Uncle toad said you had best get it right
When uncle toad spoke it was not a pretty sight
Uncle toad sittin by the cool mill race
All day long with a grin on his face
He said boys you had better not try
Kissin em girls cause I wont stand by
Uncle toad sittin by the wrought iron fence
Lookin at the moon like it dont make sense
We say toad heres lookin at you
Hopin you get your wish too
Sway to the left, sway to the right
When uncle toad spoke it was not a pretty sight
song performed by by Gordon Lightfoot
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Little Horny Angel
In the heaven above was a little horny Angel
Now this Angel had been naughty, very naughty
And was going to be sent down to earth as a penalty
The angel would have to stay until it had learned it's lesson
Now this little angel had to fix it's thorn, to get re-born
The Horny Angel decided to go to the heart of all evil
The angel flew down to the bad-est part of Amsterdam
In the middle of the red light district, were all the horny ladies are
The angel went from door to door, hoping to help someone
But to the angels astonishment all was great in the red-light?
The angel found that they helped people to be happy, release
built up pressure inside that would explode normally, and hurt someone
So the angel flew back up to see the main man and tell him all
The main man listened and took note, but now it was his call
Well Little horny angel, I see a lot of presure inside this heaven
The little horny angel said: ' thats all sorted I open at seven'
poem by David Darbyshire
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Lil Jack Horny
Mother goose
Never should haver ever let that jack get loose
But that little boy blue
Keeps messing all the things he gets his hands into
Now look what youve done
Stuck in your thumb, pulled out a plum
Mama says, boys will be boys
Thats lil jack horny
Mama says boys will be boys
Thats lil jack horny
Jack and jill
Went up and down and up and fooled around the hill
Now only time will tell
How late the rabbit will arrive in wonderland
Now look what youve done
Stuck in your thumb, pulled out a plum
Mama says, boys will be boys
Thats lil jack horny
Daddy says dont need no birth control
Thats lil jack horny
song performed by by Extreme
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Pony
Im just a bachelor,
Im lookin for a partner
Someone who knows how to ride without even fallin off
Gotta be compatible,
Takes me to my limits
Girl when I break you off,
I promise that you wont wanna get off
(chorus:)
If youre horny, lets do it
Ride it, my pony
My saddles waitin
Come and jump on it
If youre horny, lets do it
Ride it, my pony
My saddles waitin
Come and jump on it
Sittin here flossin, peepin your steelo
Just once if I have the chance, the things I would do to you
You and your body, every single portion
Send chills up and down your spine, juices flowin down your thigh
(chorus 2x)
If youre horny, lets do it
Ride it, my pony
My saddles waitin
Come and jump on it
If youre horny, lets do it
Ride it, my pony
My saddles waitin
Come and jump on it
If were gonna get nasty baby
First well show and tell
Till I reach your pony tail (oh)
Lurk all over and through you baby
Until we reach the stream
Youll be on my jockey team (ooh)
(chorus 2 1/2x)
If youre horny, lets do it
Ride it, my pony
My saddles waitin
Come and jump on it
If youre horny, lets do it
Ride it, my pony
My saddles waitin
Come and jump on it
(fades)
Ride it
song performed by by Ginuwine
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Wise Toad
I talked to a toad and he asked me,
'Are humans as ignorant as they seem to be? '
All over the world they fight and kill,
Saying they do it because of their god's will.
I'm just a toad, but I'm sure that a divine god
Wouldn't give such actions an approving nod.
Then so many die for that thing called democracy,
But those few winning get most of stuff called money.
All the rest just exist day by day and hour by hour,
While the rich get richer and gain unbridled power.
Although I may have lots of warts and be just a toad,
I'll bet I can find humans a kinder and gentler road.'
poem by Gregory Huyette
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Frog And A Toad
A tiny frog on a lili-pad,
Was so depressed she felt so sad.
She wrung her hands and racked her brain,
And said to herself, I'm going insane.
I'm in love with the toad that lives next door,
When my dad finds out he'll go through the floor.
And I can't imagine what mom will do.
My black and green will be black and blue.
While she pondered on, the snake swam by,
And the little frog uttered a sigh.
She asked hey snake what would you do,
If you were in love with a toad like lou?
The snake replied, I'll tell you what,
You really put me on the spot.
A frog I could love, a toad too fat,
I'd rather be seen with a rat.
But you little frog with your leopard spots,
I think that you could dot my dots.
Come over here and say to me,
That you'll be mine for eternity.
The little frog opened her eyes,
And saw in the snake no truth just lies.
She jumped in the water and swam away,
And found her lou and said o.k.
It's not so bad to be black and blue,
And have your daddy be mad at you.
It's better to be with an ugly toad,
Than inside a snake and growing cold.
4/20/10 29 palms ca.
poem by Juan Olivarez
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Cliches Part 2
As horny as a three balled tomcat
Blew his wad
Hide the salami
Horny as a peach-orchard boar
Honsky is as Horny as a three peckered Billy goat
Hot beef injections he got
Makin' bacon in the ktichen
Making whoopee goldberg
At the Mile high club
And could simply be a One night stand
Sweet 16 and never been kissed
But totally damaged
I guess she must be
Thinking with the wrong head
He got Wet dreams
And in the morning
In class he says
Wham, bam, thank you mam
Your place or mine?
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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A Musical Note
Liddle lie, liddle lie, liddle lie lay lee.
Liddle lie, liddle lie, liddle lie lay low.
These are the words that were sent to me
in a letter from my brother-in-law-Joe.
He said as the cock-crowed last Tuesday morning
he heard singing coming from down his garden.
Surprised and not believing what he was hearing
he went to see where the sound was coming from.
As he casually walked to the bottom of the garden
the singing became louder with his every stride.
He slowly parted the branches of the hedgerow
and saw a toad and mouse sitting side by side.
The toad sat cross-legged on a spotted toadstool
playing a mandolin and singing out loud.
The mouse was clapping in time to the music,
as were other animals that made up the crowd.
All the creatures joined in with the chorus
as they clapped and stamped their feet,
but then a mandolin string snapped and twanged,
which caused the toad to fall off his seat.
The audience stopped singing and fell about laughing,
as the toad got up from the ground,
he explained that the performance was now over
unless a new string could quickly be found.
With pain the mouse pulled out one of its whiskers
and asked the toad if it would be alright.
The musical toad smiled and said it would be perfect,
and adjusted the whisker to sound just right.
Once more the toad began playing and singing
to the happy hand clapping crowd.
Until a huge tabby tomcat called Thomas,
frightened everyone with its ‘meow’!
poem by Orlando Belo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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She Won't Swallow It
Warning-Sexual content! May not be suitable for all readers!
Parody of the classic song from the film of the same name The Girl Can't Help It
She won't swallow it, the girl won't swallow it
She won't swallow it, the girl won't swallow it
She walks by, got mine standing at attention
Tight inside of my jeans
Still...
She won't swallow it, the girl won't swallow it
She winks her eye, flirts with me so outragous and naughty
Gets me so damn horny
Only to burn me like toast
Cos no matter how often I ask
She won't swallow it, the girl won't swallow it
She' s got me turned on the most
Yet even if I got down tonight on my knees
I think I know still what her answer would be
She won't swallow it, the girl won't swallow it
The girl won't swallow it
Won't get down on her knees
Not even once just to see if she would like it
Oh yeah
Sad but true
She won't swallow it, the girl won't swallow it
And even when I beg her pretty please
A horny boyfriend down on his knees
She won't swallow it, the girl won't swallow it
Still I'm hopin' and prayin' someday
Her answer will be
The girl will swallow it cos she's just as horny as me
She won't swallow it, the girl won't swallow it
She won't even pretend to mess around with it
In the dark or in the sun
She won't swallow it, the girl won't swallow it
If I give her some good old fashion lovin' way down there
Then should't she do the same for me?
The girl won't swallow it, the girl won't swallow it
Always makes me feel so damn bad just for askin'
Just like a dirty old grandpa instead of the young kinky 21 that I am
She won't swallow it, the girl won't swallow it
The girl won't swallow it
Won't get down on her knees
Not even once just to see if she would like it
Oh yeah
Sad but true
She won't swallow it, the girl won't swallow it
And even when I beg her pretty please
A horny boyfriend down on his knees
She won't swallow it, the girl won't swallow it
Still I'm hopin' and prayin' someday
Her answer will be
The girl will swallow it cos she's just as horny as me
She won't swallow it, the girl won't swallow it
She walks by, got my manhood locked up tight in a vise
As I pant and moan for that little something
That little something more that she just won't give
Still I'm hopin' and prayin' someday
Her answer will be
The girl will swallow it cos she's just as horny as me
She won't swallow it, the girl won't swallow it
2008 Ramona Thompson
poem by Ramona Thompson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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"Think as I think" said the man, "or you are abominable. You are a toad." And after I had thought on it, I said "I will then, be a toad."
quote by Stephen Crane
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Toads Revenge
The spider ate the fly,
captured in a web of uncertainty.
The toad ate the spider,
captured in the swamp of reality.
The snake ate the toad,
captured in the grasses of fantasy.
The hawk ate the snake,
captured in the shade of unrest.
The man ate the golden hawk,
captured in the sky of extinction.
The man died with a broken arrow.
The toad had poison within the marrow.
poem by Saint Eule
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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At Last (Etta James)
So thank you guys so much for comin' around, stickin' around.
Some of you who came to both shows, that's really cool.
Well you see at last
My love well she's come along
And my lonely days well they're finally over
And my life is like a song
At la-ya-ya-ya-ya-yast, at la-a-a-a-ast, oh at last, at last, oh
Oh, this night above, well it looks like all of you
But you know, my heart is always wrapped up in Toca
(audience laughing)
(Jason : Ha ha)
Oh, the way he plays the fool-oo-oo
well well - do do do do do
Oh, did you bring your french horn tonight with you Mr. T
(yeah I brought the french horn)
French me with your horny, horny, horny, horny, horn
Woah-ooo-ooo
Wah-ah ah
Woah-ooo-ooo
Wah
You know he plays the low notes, but he sings the high notes.
Again this is Mr. Ian Sheridan our friend.
You know what that sounds like?
sounds like - love, (laughing) life's sweetest reward
it's an open sword
(Toca: sword ?)
hey love, exciting and new (laughing)
come aboard, we're expecting you
on the loooove boat (applause)
soon we'll be making another run
on the loooove boat oh-oh-oh
I'm lookin' to dock my boat - oh
(one, two)
song performed by by Jason Mraz
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Frog and The Toad
Come, said the frog to the toad,
let us hop down to the pond,
at the end of the road.
Jump on to a giant lily leaf,
and watch the fish,
as they swim underneath.
Dine on the succulent dragon flies,
see the the world,
as it drifts by.
Then at the end of the day,
we can gaze at the stars,
watch the moon,
as it passes mars.
Come said the frog to the toad.
Tango
poem by Tango Tango
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Spanked
Heh!
Im all feed up, watchin tv
Some place to feast my eyes, oh
I always drift on commercials, yeah yeah
This one blew my mind, oh
Hey, tell me who youre gonna call, when you need that affection
You got to have it quick (got to have it quick)
There just aint no love line in her direction, oh
All you bad bad boys - call her up on the spank line, ah yeah
All you bad bad boys - call her up on the spank line, uh, whoa, aw
Three dollars, first minute, gosh, man, after that, it cost ya four
And shell be up for negotiations, if you call back for more
Now who youre gonna call when you need that special (special) little something
You can say what you like, its all confidential, oh
All you bad bad boys - call her up on the spank line, huh
All you bad bad boys - call her up on the spank line, whoa
(solo)
Hey!
All you bad bad boys - with your mind blown
All you bad bad boys - got one man horny, spanked
All you bad bad boys - call her up on the spank line, ah, hey
All you bad bad boys - call her up on the spank line, uh
All you bad bad boys - yeah, its a spank line, ha ha ha ha
All you bad bad boys - just call her up, call her up
One man horny, spanked
All you bad bad boys - one man horny, spanked, bad bad bad boys
All you bad bad boys - just call her up, its a spank line
song performed by by Van Halen
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Freddy The Frog
Freddy was once a toad
He hopped too often in the road
Along came a car
Sent Freddy flying far
Now Freddy's not a toad, but a star!
poem by Donna Nimmo
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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Toad In The Hole
I walk along the strand
To catch the late ride home.
Shuttle through the evening gloom
Knowing I forgot to phone.
The back doors open.
Theres a chill blowing in.
Take your warm hands off me.
Let the night begin.
Shush your mouth.
Listen to me.
I wont say nothing ---
Just let me be your
Toad in the hole.
Kicking through the wet leaves lying
All along the station road.
Past tired graffitti wailing,
Raw emotion to unload.
Theres coal in the fireplace
And money in the bank too.
Deep-pile carpets, tinsel wallpaper.
Still got the back room to do.
Dont be late.
Got a days work behind me.
Feel a little devastated
But my nights are assigned to you.
Toad in the hole.
No tom-cat creeping, now
Could ever be so bold
To hang around our place tonight
When I come in from the cold.
Theres a straight-six in the garage
And some fine wine to cool.
Labour-savers in the kitchen,
Room in the garden for a pool.
Shush your mouth.
Let imagination run
Here in bed-sit heaven
Where all the best wishings done
To warm toad in the hole.
song performed by by Jethro Tull
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Mighty Horny Power Rangers
They've got a libdo and a desire
That can't be controled
They've got the power
To sex you in the shower and they always score
No one can ever keep these rangers down
The power of love sweet love is on their side
Oh oh Power Rangers
Oh oh Power Rangers
Oh oh Power Rangers
Mighty Horny Power Rangers
They love to take their dates
Hard into their hands
They know to always use condoms and practice safe sex
No one can ever keep these rangers down
The power of love sweet love is on their side
Oh oh Power Rangers
Oh oh Power Rangers
Oh oh Power Rangers
Oh oh you Mighty Horny Power Rangers
No one can ever keep these rangers down
The power of love sweet love is on their side
Oh oh Power Rangers
Oh oh Power Rangers
Oh oh Power Rangers
Oh oh you Mighty Horny Power Rangers
Oh oh Power Rangers
Oh oh Power Rangers
Oh oh Power Rangers
poem by Ramona Thompson
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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The Laughng Toad
The smell of lavander
Bees humming rounds its tall soft tips
The water flowing over the rock
Trickles down my eyes
Shallow ripples; koi pond's surafce.
Chlorinated water; unlucky toad's fate
I saved it! I saved it!
Released from pool to pond
Where he shall be
Free to bathe
Laugh as toad's laugh
Returning in pride
I search for him
Make sure he is clean and laughing
All I see is the resident frog
A gluttoned frog
Two protruding legs
Of my laughing toad
Raised upwards to the heavens
Jutting from the fatted
Frogs mouth.
I emancipated; hence enslaved
Intentions dont determine
Outcome.
poem by Vincent Cibelli
Submitted by Poetry Lover
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