If you eat a live toad first thing in the morning, nothing worse will happen all day long.
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Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
Uncle Toad Said
Uncle toad sittin by the old south gate
Waitin them boys they bin stayin out late
Uncle toad thinks theyre way out of line
Maybe they think he is past his prime
Uncle toad said better straighten up right
When uncle toad spoke it was not a pretty sight
Uncle toad lived in the wood out back
Lived in the shade of a utility shack
He looked in at the big brick housr
At the girls as quiet as a mouse
Uncle toad said you had best get it right
When uncle toad spoke it was not a pretty sight
Uncle toad tucked in the compost pile
Out by the back door look at him smile
He said kid stop drinkin that brew
Plan while ya can or the jokes on you
Uncle toad said better straighten up right
When uncle toad spoke it was not a pretty sight
Uncle toad sittin by the swimmin pool
Sits in the sun when the weather turns cool
Sits in the sun when the girls walk by
Maybe they think hes a little bit sly
Uncle toad said you had best get it right
When uncle toad spoke it was not a pretty sight
Uncle toad sittin by the cool mill race
All day long with a grin on his face
He said boys you had better not try
Kissin em girls cause I wont stand by
Uncle toad sittin by the wrought iron fence
Lookin at the moon like it dont make sense
We say toad heres lookin at you
Hopin you get your wish too
Sway to the left, sway to the right
When uncle toad spoke it was not a pretty sight
song performed by by Gordon Lightfoot
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Saturday Morning
Saturday Morning
And whos gonna play with me?
Six in the morning, baby
I got a long, long day ahead of me
The parents are sleeping soundly
The neighbors are dead as wood
Im getting up and coming over
We gotta rock the neighborhood
Nothings ever gonna happen round here
If we dont make it happen
Sleep away the day if you want to
But I got something that I gotta do
Its Saturday Morning
And this aint the place for me
Im giving you warning, baby
We got a whole big, fat, world to see
Nothings ever gonna happen round here
If we dont make it happen
Sleep away the day if you want to
But I got something that I gotta do
Its Saturday Morning
And whos gonna play with me?
Six in the morning, baby
I got a long, long day ahead of me
Saturday morning
Saturday morning
song performed by by Eels
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Horny Toad
{b-side of delirious}
If I had your number
Id call u on the phone
Id breathe a little heavy [...] word maybe Id start to groan
I dont love u
Im just a horny toad
I dont want your money
cause I got all I need
All I want is to rub your body until u start to bleed
I dont love u
Im just a horny toad
If I had your address
Id come right 2 your door
Id knock all day till u let me in and then Id knock some more
I aint crazy
Im just a horny toad
If u think Im nasty
U aint seen nothing yet
Ysee Im the kinda brother that the more u scream the nastier I get
I cant help it
Im just a horny toad
Now watch me dance!
Run and go tell your boyfriend
His loving has got you bored
Might as well pack his things and get his bad ass on the road
Tell him u live on a lilly pad
With a horny toad
song performed by by Prince
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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A Wise Toad
I talked to a toad and he asked me,
'Are humans as ignorant as they seem to be? '
All over the world they fight and kill,
Saying they do it because of their god's will.
I'm just a toad, but I'm sure that a divine god
Wouldn't give such actions an approving nod.
Then so many die for that thing called democracy,
But those few winning get most of stuff called money.
All the rest just exist day by day and hour by hour,
While the rich get richer and gain unbridled power.
Although I may have lots of warts and be just a toad,
I'll bet I can find humans a kinder and gentler road.'
poem by Gregory Huyette
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Mad And Growing Worse
Lost sense of chronology due to food allergy, un-
balanced and feverish and irritable - awful to sit
still - as long as there is pressing work to do, it
is easier to ignore these symptoms
The quiet of Friday night makes it impossible to live
life within separate units of time, it feels as if every-
thing should be happening at once and since they can-
not given the limitations of my mind
I feel frustrated, cannot wait for events to happen in
sequence: when reading I think I should be watching
TV, when watching one thing I suspect I am missing
something important somewhere else
Or that I should have been reading an excellent book:
full circle, enough to drive one mad, and it does -
I'm mad and growing worse…
poem by Margaret Alice Second
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Get On The Right Thing
All at once you get love on your mind
And your world is as kind as a penny
Oh.... and you knew it all along / you did the right thing
Believe me its true / and it can happen to you
All at once you get sound in your ears
And your cloud disappears into yellow
Well you know they were were wrong
Get on the right thing / well you knew it all along
Get on the right thing
Believe me its so / because I happen to know
Try a little love, you cant go wrong
Get on the right thing (repeat twice)
My little love you cant go wrong
Get on the right thing / get on the right thing
Get on tee right thing do / get on the right thing you
All at once we see things in our skies
And we both realize it together
Well you know they were wrong
Get on the right thing / yes you knew it all along
Get on the right thing / believe me its so
Because I happen to know / you cant go wrong
Get on the right thing, get on the right thing,
Get on the right thing / you cant go wrong get on the right thing
And try a little love / and it cant go wrong
Get on the right thing you etc.
Try a little love, you cant go wrong
Get on the right thing etc.
song performed by by Paul McCartney
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Once we have a war there is only one thing to do. It must be won. For defeat brings worse things than any that can ever happen in war.
quote by Ernest Hemingway
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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The Toad And The Crocodile
“Good morning, ” said Toad, as she rested on a lily pad burping bubbles.
“Good morning, ” said Crocodile, looking disturbed and troubled.
“I don’t suppose, ” said Toad “that you saw two toads pass by this way? ”
“Let me think…” said Crocodile “oh yes, I saw them earlier today.”
A tear rolled down the cheek of the crocodile and splashed into the pond.
“Why are you crying Crocodile, what could’ve possibly gone wrong? ”
“I’m sorry, ” said Crocodile, “I’m an emotional old crocodile and often cry.”
“What a shame, ” said Toad, “you say my husband and daughter passed by? ”
“Oh… I didn’t realise they were your family, they were so nice,
I gave them a helping hand and some very good advice.”
“Thanks for your time and trouble; you’re a very considerate crocodile,
so unlike the ones I’ve heard about that live in the Nile.
Can you remember which direction they went, ” said Toad full of hope.
“I can, ” said Crocodile, “they slid down a very slippery slope.”
“But did they seem alright, I mean did they look safe and well? ”
“Yes they did, but I don’t really know, it was hard to tell.”
“Why do you say that, is there something that you’re not telling me? ”
“I’m sorry you’re quite right, I shouldn’t keep you from your family.
When they asked for help they were being chased by a ferocious lion,
so I suggested that they came aboard and hid until it had gone.”
“Wonderful, so where are they now? ” She said with a puzzled stare.
“Why, they’re having tea with everyone else that’s hiding in there.”
“Would it be possible to speak with them before I burst into tears? ”
“Of course I’ll open my mouth, so you can tell them you’re here.”
She shouted their names, as the crocodile’s mouth opened wider and wider.
“They’re not coming, ” said Crocodile; “they’re enjoying the cakes and cider.”
Toad began to cry, which made her burp louder, as she sadly walked away.
“Where are you going, ” said the crocodile, “your family is not here to stay.
Would you like to come aboard and join in with the others having a good time?
Come on Toad, I’ll open the doors; hurry now before I change my mind.”
Toad cautiously hopped forward and took a giant leap down the crocodiles throat,
she landed in a dark place where she heard noises and two other toads croak.
“Is that you husband” she said, “why didn’t you come out when I shouted you? ”
“The crocodile wouldn’t open the doors, ” he said “what more could I do? ”
“Well, we can’t just sit here and do nothing we’ve got to try and jump free,
let’s hope we can burp enough to give him wind; come on, on my count of three.”
For ages the toads burped and jumped about trying to fill the crocodile with air,
then a rumbling turned into an eruption and they were burped out of there.
Before the crocodile had noticed the toads were sitting a safe distance away,
“Hello friend crocodile, ” said mother toad, “we’re sorry we couldn’t stay.”
poem by Orlando Belo
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A Musical Note
Liddle lie, liddle lie, liddle lie lay lee.
Liddle lie, liddle lie, liddle lie lay low.
These are the words that were sent to me
in a letter from my brother-in-law-Joe.
He said as the cock-crowed last Tuesday morning
he heard singing coming from down his garden.
Surprised and not believing what he was hearing
he went to see where the sound was coming from.
As he casually walked to the bottom of the garden
the singing became louder with his every stride.
He slowly parted the branches of the hedgerow
and saw a toad and mouse sitting side by side.
The toad sat cross-legged on a spotted toadstool
playing a mandolin and singing out loud.
The mouse was clapping in time to the music,
as were other animals that made up the crowd.
All the creatures joined in with the chorus
as they clapped and stamped their feet,
but then a mandolin string snapped and twanged,
which caused the toad to fall off his seat.
The audience stopped singing and fell about laughing,
as the toad got up from the ground,
he explained that the performance was now over
unless a new string could quickly be found.
With pain the mouse pulled out one of its whiskers
and asked the toad if it would be alright.
The musical toad smiled and said it would be perfect,
and adjusted the whisker to sound just right.
Once more the toad began playing and singing
to the happy hand clapping crowd.
Until a huge tabby tomcat called Thomas,
frightened everyone with its ‘meow’!
poem by Orlando Belo
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Wouldnt It Be Nice
Wouldnt it be nice if we were older
Then we wouldnt have to wait so long
And wouldnt it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong
You know its gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and stay together
Wouldnt it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through
Happy times together weve been spending
I wish that every kiss was neverending
Wouldnt it be nice
Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true
Baby then there wouldnt be a single thing we couldnt do
We could be married
And then wed be happy
Wouldnt it be nice
You know it seems the more we talk about it
It only makes it worse to live without it
But lets talk about it
Wouldnt it be nice
song performed by by Beach Boys
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Maybe Thats Something
We lay around just like gurus
In borrowed robes
And talk about nothing
Well maybe thats something
Maybe thats something
You stretch out across a long long table
Without hesitation
You say, Im willing and able.
Maybe thats something
Maybe thats one thing more than Ive seen
Maybe thats something more than nothing.
You say good, I say you should, will you be there?
Making miracles is hard work,
Most people give up before they happen.
Maybe thats something
Maybe thats one thing more than Ive seen
Maybe thats something more than nothing,
More than nothing, more than nothing.
Maybe thats something
Maybe thats one thing more than Ive seen
Maybe thats something more than nothing
More than nothing, more than nothing, more than nothing.
(sheryl crow/jeff trott)
song performed by by Sheryl Crow
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Happiness for Sadness
No matter how bad you have it
I will always have it worse
That was once said to me
When I think about it
That’s a good thing
Why would someone want to have it worse
Why would someone want to be sad?
These day people brag about being depressed
They put labels on it
“Emo” that’s what they call it
No matter how bad you have it
I’ll always have it worse
Why would someone brag about being
Sad
Why is depression
Considered an accomplishment
People need to get thing set straight
Depression is not fun
Depression is horrible
Depression has eaten me alive
Depression has ruined my life
“Emo” that’s what they call it
No matter how bad you have it
I’ll always have it worse
Why would anyone want to be depressed
It sickens me
How people just walk around
Pretending to feel sad
Just for a lable
I’ll trade with you
My depression for your happiness
Really depressed people
hide
turn our live’s into acts
Don’t pretend
Because it isn’t funny
I happen to think that computers are the most important thing to happen to musicians since the invention of cat-gut which was a long time ago.
quote by Robert Moog
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Long Ago, Far Away
by Bob Dylan
To preach of peace and brotherhood,
Oh, what might be the cost!
A man he did it long ago
And they hung him on a cross.
Long ago, far away;
These things don't happen
No more, nowadays.
The chains of slaves
They dragged the ground
With heads and hearts hung low.
But it was during Lincoln's time
And it was long ago.
Long ago, far away;
Things like that don't happen
No more, nowadays.
The war guns they went off wild,
The whole world bled its blood.
Men's bodies floated on the edge
Of oceans made of mud.
Long ago, far away;
Those kind of things don't happen
No more, nowadays.
One man had much money,
One man had not enough to eat,
One man lived just like a king,
The other man begged on the street.
Long ago, far away;
These things don't happen
No more, nowadays.
One man died of a knife so sharp,
One man died from the bullet of a gun,
One man died of a broken heart
To see the lynchin' of his son.
Long ago, far away;
Things like that don't happen
No more, nowadays.
Gladiators killed themselves,
It was during the Roman times.
People cheered with bloodshot grins
As eye and minds went blind.
Long ago, far away;
Things like that don't happen
No more, nowadays.
And to talk of peace and brotherhood,
Oh, what might be the cost!
A man he did it long ago
And they hung him on a cross.
Long ago, far away;
Things like that don't happen
No more, nowadays, do they?
song performed by by Bob Dylan
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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"Think as I think" said the man, "or you are abominable. You are a toad." And after I had thought on it, I said "I will then, be a toad."
quote by Stephen Crane
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If We Stopped Getting Ill
The sun was bright this morning
And as i lay in my bed
I smiled out at the world outside
And then within my head
A strange thought started forming
As if not of my will
What if plagues and sickness vanished
And we stopped getting ill?
A happy thought i told myself
But then as these things go
The consequences came to me
Though still thinking rather slow
What would happen to the chemists,
Doctors, nurses and the rest
If we were well all of the time
And always felt our best?
Wall Street would be mortified
Pharma companies would collapse
Unless they invented illnesses
Or, even worse, perhaps
They'd have to spread diseases
So we'd need their little pills
And all of this might happen
If we stopped getting ill.
poem by David Keig
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Tomorrow Morning, Early
'Will there be another holocaust? '
they asked the Rebbe of Lubavitch.
For an answer he was never lost.
“Of course there will be. Man is savage.”
“When will this happen? ” they inquired.
“Morgen in der frih, ” he said,
Tomorrow morning, early, has transpired,
and millions are already dead.
It’s happened in Rwanda and Sudan,
as in silence we looked on.
It couldn’t happen here, we say. It can,
and millions more will soon be gone.
Long agao an interviewer asked the Luvavitcher Rebbe, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneersohn, if he believed the Holocaust could ever happen in America. “Morgen in der frih, ” was his reply, Yiddish words that mean: “Early tomorrow morning.”
2/17/09
poem by Gershon Hepner
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The Toads Revenge
The spider ate the fly,
captured in a web of uncertainty.
The toad ate the spider,
captured in the swamp of reality.
The snake ate the toad,
captured in the grasses of fantasy.
The hawk ate the snake,
captured in the shade of unrest.
The man ate the golden hawk,
captured in the sky of extinction.
The man died with a broken arrow.
The toad had poison within the marrow.
poem by Saint Eule
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Morning Glow
Morning glow morning glow
Starts to glimmer when you know
Winds of change are set to blow
And sweep this whole land through
Morning glow is long past due
Morning glow fill the earth
Come on shine far all youre worth
Well be present at the birth
Of all faith looking new
Morning glow is long past due
Oh oh morning glow
Id like to help you grow
You should have started long ago
Morning glow all days long
For we sing tomorrows song
Never knew we could be so strong
But now its very clear
Morning glow is almost here
Oh oh morning glow
Id like to help you grow
We should have started long ago
Morning glow all your life
We can make the new day right
All the bad songs of the night
Will fade into the past
Morning glow is here at last
song performed by by Michael Jackson
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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