My first degree came years before my second. I had wanted to be a physicist, but I flunked calculus.
quote by Elizabeth Moon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Hard to be a physics major at Rice University if you have flunked calculus.
quote by Elizabeth Moon
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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U Me = Us
Performed by 2gether
Written by brian gunn, mark gunn, josh schwartz and brian kieruff
I'm losing my hair
And my vision is shady
Last night i dreamt
Of an overweight lady.
But i need a young thing
To keep up with my pace
To hold me in her arms,
And take me straight to second base
I know my calculus
It says you + me = us
Yeah, oh, sing it chad, for me
I know my calculus
It says you + me = us
{oh yeah}
Calculus
Semi-rap:
Yeah..haha..c'mon..we're together
(we're together)
Girl algebra or trigonometry could never equal up
To what you do to me
So let's intergrate
Don't differentiate
If you were in my class,
There ain't no way i could pass
I hate english, gym, and not to mention
I can't even afford to pay my attention
No philosophy could ever come between us
But we'll always have our calculus
Chorus
I know my calculus
It says u + me = us
Said i know my calculus
It says u + me = us
We're together forever, c'mon
Calculus, calculus
[westsideee] *i think it should be easttsieeedeee!!
Go go go go go go go go go go (repeat)
Ooh baby, oh lord
U + me = us
Well, i've never been good at history
And i don't give a crap about robert e. lee
When it comes to cosines,
I know a thing or two
And i kicked ass on the test about me and you
Chorus
You (u)
Plus sign (+)
Me (me)
Equal sign (=)
Us (us)
Girl, no subject comes close to you.
2gether sing it
I know my calculuh-uh-uh-ussss
Repeat chorus
Repeat until end
song performed by by 2gether
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Kosmic Artist
to a particle physicist
the sub-atomic level
is an easel
sprayed
by some crazy artist
whose name
is written in every
infinitesimal detail
so not even a physicist
can fail to recognize
the Intelligence
always presumed
to be energy.
not that
it really matters
poem by Doug Bentley
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I wanted to become a mathematician, physicist or astronomer.
quote by Philip Emeagwali
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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If the experimental physicist has already done a great deal of work in this field, nevertheless the theoretical physicist has still hardly begun to evaluate the experimental material which may lead him to conclusions about the structure of the atom.
quote by Johannes Stark
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Physics is becoming so unbelievably complex that it is taking longer and longer to train a physicist. It is taking so long, in fact, to train a physicist to the place where he understands the nature of physical problems that he is already too old to solve them.
quote by Eugene Paul Wigner
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Calai
friend Calai just flunked her bar,
and never, with her own intelligence, guts and diligence
did she expect such an astronomical
failure,
but it is real, she flunked her bar, and she is weeping
alone in her room,
her eyes swell with tears flooding her cheeks
her room so filled with gloom
i guess,
there is always a first time, and i guess again, given her
indifference to failures, but soon
sooner than soon, she will get used to it,
to other failures in her life, and then she will be adopted to it
and won't be bothered anymore,
by then, we can talk freely,
mature, real and strong.
poem by Ric S. Bastasa
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Calculus
Zero divided by one is zero,
but it bothered me
from my first conception
of mathematics
that one cannot
be divided by zero
and that it is incalculable.
When I found Calculus
new horizons
opened for me
and I saw mathematics
in another light
and I could find
how one approaches zero
and suddenly
Algebra became clearer.
At first the Calculus dragon
tried to incinerate me
and lengths, volumes and areas
looked like madness to me,
but later I understood the functions
and derivatives
and exponents
and logarithmic functions
became clear to me.
I understood that real numbers
have no greatest
or smallest number
and that there’s always
a larger number
that goes on infinitely.
Limits, gradients and curves,
maximum and minimum values
of functions
and rates of change
and integration and differentiation
made that I
could write my own formulas
and could solve problems
that where unsolvable before
and the Calculus dragon
protected me
and became my pet.
poem by Gert Strydom
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Dreams
It seems that most of my dreams fade as fast as September.
Though that failed philosophy class is one I’ll remember.
Since I cut too many classes I couldn’t take the final test;
Flunked the course, didn’t get my degree and negated the rest.
Then there’s the general manager’s job I lost in the Near East.
Since the level of company politics had greatly increased.
Said what I thought which didn’t work worth a damn.
That’s why I find myself right here where I am.
Naked in front of all who pass with only glances so rude.
No compassion though I’m helpless, penniless… and nude.
poem by Gregory Huyette
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We Were Not Wanted
WE WERE NOT WANTED
We were not wanted
All our work
All those years.
You complained endlessly out loud
And I in silence to the page
But no one wanted us.
And we like most
Who strive to ‘create’ or ‘to give’ or ‘to contribute’
Had to eat our hearts out
Each other’s hearts out
In Loneliness, Frustration, and Failure.
We were not wanted-
We are not wanted-
We most likely
Never will be wanted.
We have done what we have done
We do what we can do
We are what we are.
God chooses.
And if we are the Many never called
Silence will roll over our pain forever.
poem by Shalom Freedman
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Love In The First Degree
Words and music by jim hurt and tim dubois
I once thopught of love as a prison a place I didnt want to be.
So long ago I made a decision to be footloose and fancy free.
But you cam I was so tempted to gamble on love just one time.
I never thought I would get caught.
It seemed liek the perfect crime.
Chorus:
Baby, you left me defneseless.
Ive only got one plea.
Lock me away inside of your love and throw away the key.
Im guilty of love in the first degree.
I thought it would be so simple, like a thousand times before.
Id take what I wanted and just walk away, but I never made it to the door.
Now babe, Im not beggin for mercy.
Go ahead and throw the book at me.
If lovin yous a crime, I know that Im as guilty as a man can be.
Chorus
Oh yeah. oh yeah.
Chorus
Oh yeah. love in the first degree.
Love in the first degree.
Love in the first degree.
song performed by by Alabama
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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U Me = Us [dream Maker Club Mix]
u + me = us (calculus) [dream maker club mix]
Performed by 2gether
Written by brian gunn, mark gunn, josh schwartz and brian kierulf
Bob buss: all those girls, block upon block upon block.
They all come here lookin for their dream boys. heh.
Who makes those dreams?
Me.
That's what i do. that's my job.
A dream maker.
Boy bands. boy bands, boy bands.
There are 5 basic types in any successful boyband.
You got your rebel, your bad boy, one.
You got your shy, bashful type, two.
You got your little guy, your dewey-eyed youngster, three.
Four, your reassuring, older brother type.
And the heartthrob, your teen idol.
He's the guy who holds it all together, y'know
He's the guy who's eyes are lookin at you from the poster saying, "hold me.
Take care of me."
And that boy cannot have a tattoo!
U + me = us
U + me = us
I know my calculus
It says you plus me = us
Said i know my calculus
It says you plus me = us
Carson: i'm carson daly. here we are. total request live. i'm here with super
Megagroup 2gether.
Tell me a little about your name. 2gether, which is awesome by the way.
Jerry: two words, carson. bob buss.
Mickey: yeah, man, the great bob buss, yo.
Well i've never been good at history
And i don't give a crap about robert e. lee
When it comes to cosines
I know a thing or two
And i kicked ass on the test about me and you
Chorus
I know my calculus
It says u + me = us
Said i know my calculus
It says u + me = us
What the world needs now is boybands
Buss: perfect! no problem. i've got a boyband!
Boy bands
Buss: what i need now is my troublemaker.
I know where the bad boys hang out.
Girl, algebra or trigonometry could never equal up
To what you do to me.
So let's intergrate
Don't differentiate
If you were in my class,
There ain't no way i could pass
I hate english, gym, and not to mention
I can't even afford to pay my attention
No philosophy could ever come between us
But we'll always have our calculus
Repeat chorus 2x
U + me = us
U + me = us
It's not about braces really
Or money or fame. or girls. heh.
U + me = us
I'ts about respect.
And integrity
Girl, no subject comes close to you
2gether sing it
I know my calculu-uhuhuhuhuhs
Chorus
Jerry: i'm jerry o'keefe!
I'm gonna be a star.
Director: and again i'm gonna be a star. arms wide! i'm gonna make it!
I'm gonna be a star!!!
Okay, now make me believe it! i'm gonna make it! i'm gonna be a star! *girls
Screaming*
song performed by by 2gether
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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Qualified to Make Productive Contributions
Do you have a degree?
'A degree in what? '
You know?
Something that validates your intelligence!
'Oh...
Something that documents my discipline,
And education?
Something that verifies my verity,
To conform to the wholesomeness of humanity.
And I am now qualified to make productive contributions?
My life lived,
Has already provided the requirements.'
Uh...yeah...I guess.
Whatever that was you said.
'And...
I imagine you have at least 'one' degree? '
Of course!
I got me two.
And I'm gon' get me a job that pays.
'Hopefully not to teach English!
And...
Suppose I did not have that 'degree'.
Would that make my efforts less credible?
Would that make a fame or notoriety less worthy?
IF...
I should pursue that route.
I know this is difficult for you to believe...
But a degree doesn't measure my success felt.
And I feel pretty damn successful! '
So...
You 'do' have a degree?
'You've missed my point entirely.
And you...
Have been depicted as a scholar?
God...
Thank you for opening my mind,
And doors! '
OH!
So you've studied to be a minister?
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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Degree In Life
There are some people
both old and young.
They’ve done something once
and the next minute they know all about it.
They say they have degrees in this and that.
In the biggest degree of them all
they have all fallen flat.
With the degree of life,
you first have to live it,
before you can get awarded that.
You have to suffer all
the indignations and pains
that there are there,
all the joys and the happiness,
triumphs can share.
You have to look into
the darkest soul
and know what goes on in there.
As for those who say they know it all,
those are the ones who have just stopped wetting the bed.
You’ll never have that degree
until you start living
and stop saying the world loves me.
Some say I’ve taken drugs.
What the hell has that got to do with it.
It only goes to show one thing,
how weak minded you are.
It isn’t a mark on the degree of life.
A degree of life measures
how strong you are in mind
and not how many
hallucinations you’ve had in your head.
14 December 2007
poem by David Harris
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The lottery is a tax on people who flunked math.
quote by Isarel Gallegos
Submitted by Lucian Velea
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In That Corner Is The Soup
I have a degree from Harvard.
'I have a degree from Yale.'
~I have a degree from Columbia.
With a Master's packed in my sack.
To prove that I prevailed.~
**That's great.
All of you should feel extremely proud.
Now...
Here is the scoop,
Your bowls are over there.
And in that corner is the soup! **
poem by Lawrence S. Pertillar
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College had little effect on me. I'd have been the same writer if I'd gone to MIT, except I'd have flunked out sooner.
quote by Robert B. Parker
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Sometimes I can't figure designers out. It's as if they flunked human anatomy.
quote by Erma Bombeck
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Anybody who believes that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography.
quote by Robert Byrne
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Degree Finished Sort Out Time
remember
you are young
you have time
degree finished
you had to focus
to complete a degree
time cast managed
mastered sacrificed
you are young
you can nimble easily
exchange change
interactive life parts
career now later
before court marriage
marriage suit or not
wed journey options
are youth time yours
like a degree
take a little care time
to sort out
a little time
can be echo years
a little time
seed harvest grows
life decisions
interchanges
are star maps
dream flights
poem by Terence George Craddock
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